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my life is a mess
[wrong category..sorry]
16/f. i got a new boyfriend 2 months ago. after that, basically, i've completely lost all touch with my inner self. my grades went down. some friends turned their backs on me. my parents are giving up on me. i feel horrible. i've become an attention seeking whore. but i'm depressed (i've been diagnosed.)
all because of a boyfriend..? there must be something wrong. it's very pathetic to see myself like this. it's like a drug to me now, this male affection/attention. and it's not like i'm putting less effort into my schoolwork. the grades just decline..
i'm sure this is not normal. any advice would be very much appreciated. =|
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Heya.
Your in a vunrable postion right now (being depressed) therefore, I definetly think you need to spend time on yourself, and healing from depression does take awhile, but before your happy in yourself, things will seem alot more negative.
School is so important, you wouldent think it half the time when your there, and most (older) people will tell you how important it is,and believe me I've personally found out the hard way, that education is important, it seems, as if your putting a guy that you've been with before things that actually will have a all round impact on your life.
If your friends, were the true friends they wouldent turn their back on you, I suggest you confront them.
You say your depressed, have you throught that your depression is what is actually sparking off all these other problems, because when you are depressed, you can feel that everything and everyone around you, is crumbeling.
Have you been to the doctors?
As you are young, I think you should talk to a parent, or a teacher, or someone you can trust.
Hope everything works out
Moon x
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Okay, first thing to do is to spend some time by yourself and by that i mean, spend some time away from your boyfriend (but not to break up with him).
What ever your spirit is feeling, then your body will show, so in this case, it would be the need to be with someone or someone noticing you and this is what is taking over as priority in your mind.
So, what to do. Try meditation because not only does it help you to centre your self, but to become more concerntrated.
Sit in a chair which will support your back (one which doesn't make you slouch) and in a place where you won't get disturbed. Place your hands upon your lap and your feet should be six inches apart.
Take some long, slow breaths and recognise how you feel, don't dismiss it, accept it. Now close your eyes and as you breath, imagine your body relaxing, all of those muscels in your face realxing, your arms, shoulders, back etc. Now as you take those deep breaths, say under your breath a small mantra (such as 'Mara...' as you breath in '...natha' as you breath out). This is focus your brain to think of nothing, like turning off a computer after a long day (you need to say it more than once). Focus upon your breaths and if a noise disrupts you (and something always does), don't focus upon it, just let if flow by. Just listen to the silence and let that relax you. If you loose focus, listen to a closk ticking or repeat the matra.
You can do this for as long as you want, but at first it would be difficult. Doing it for 20 mins for the 1st time would be a big achievement.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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I think you need to consentrate on yourself right now. You don't seem like you are in the greatest position to have a boyfriend, it isn't fair to you or him if you are depressed and can't exactly give him all of you. If I were you I would tell your parents how you are feeling and see if they can give you some advice because even if it seems like they have given up they probably haven't and they will see that you don't like what is going on either and will help in all the ways they can!
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sometimes when we are sorrounded by negative people that influences us in some ways , do you think it might be your boyfriend? maybe he's not a very positive person? if he is negative or pesimist abour things this mightr influence you cause this happens to me i didn't mind at first until i realize i was starting to behave the same way so i think you should reconsider it and about the grades it is understandable even if you od your best and really study hard it might work but sometimes there are areas that we aren ot able to develop as we would like to eventhough we give our 140% of effort .
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