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Mixed Signals
To all you girls out there, I have a question/scenario. Here is your chance to give some good advice to a confused man. I had been dating this girl for about 4 months. Everything thing was going FANTASTIC! I played it cool - didn’t rush anything - Just had the most amazing time together. I came over a couple of days ago and she did a complete 180 on me and said it was not working for her anymore. That’s fine, we all go through it – Here is my question: She also told me that when she realized that she loved me - she realized that she could not be in a committed relationship. How do you take that? What do you do about it? Should you do anything? She said she was in basic panic mode and felt uncomfortable in any relationship. She had been single for 6 yrs before she met me. Any advice here is good and appreciated. Thanks!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
if I were you I would talk to her and see why she is feeling this way. She sounds scared to commit. Tell her you just want to talk and not force anything on her. There might have been something in her past making her this way and she has to know that you can handle whatever she has to say and that you are there to listen.
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First off dont feel bad personally, its not your fault that she feels this way. In the past she probably was hurt by a majority of guys and finds it hard to seek trust in another guy when it comes to a relationship. The best thing to do right now is to be her friend and show her that you can be trusted as her friend. Dont pressure her because this may take sometime for her to open up, be there for her and be open about your previous relationships and possibly she will even begin to open up about her prior issues in relationships and why she feels she cant commit to you as of right now. As she begins to become more comfortable she will see what a great guy you are and will build trust with you which is essential to any relationship especially a romantic one.
Good luck with this!
Brittni
if you have any other questions feel free to ask me.
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Okay, this is kinda odd since you asked this directly to me and I don't know if you meant to or not but hey. And another thing, I ain't a girl
I can see why your confused, even I am!! Um, so she's scared of being in any relationship even though you've been dating her for 4 months and she's slept with you. The fact that she was single for six years is irrelevant.
I think you need to give her some space and let her sort out her feelings about this relationship because there's no point is just continuing on when one of you isn't exactly fully committed.
I would also question her feelings for you because anybody whose been in love, and I know this from a very personal experience, wouldn't care about fearing to be in a relationship at all and all they would care about would be the feelings which they've got for that person and the fact that they're sharing the love which they've got for the other person with them if that makes any sense.
So, cliff notes version: give her some space to sort out her feelings for you and the relationship and take it from there. Give her as much time as she needs.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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Hi,
this is a good question. I think your ex got into a relationship with you thinking that it was going to be no different than any other relationship that she had been in. That was until she fell in love with you. She's probably scared to death. People back out of relationships when they get scared.
The fact that she had not been in a relationship for 6 years before you tells me that maybe she was hurt before. If this is the case, you may want to take more time with her and find out what's going on in her mind and in her heart.
If you agree and think this is the case as well, don't give up on her just yet. From the sounds of it, you were really into her.
She hasn't told you enough about why she called it off and you didn't ask enough questions.
If you want her, see it through 'til the end. I hope I helped and it works out for you the way you want it to.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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