Hi everyone, my name is Ediemarie and I am only here to help. I offer this help to anyone who needs objective advice. Don't be too embarrassed or proud to ask me anything. I will answer all questions. If there is something that you just want me to answer, just email me and I promise I will get back to you as soon as I can.
No question is too simple or silly.
Check out my blog on blogspot! (Chattin With Libra Rajani)librarajani.blogspot.com
Website: Chattin With Libra Rajani
E-mail: librarajani@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest
Occupation: homemaker/writer
Member Since: August 13, 2008
Answers: 206
Last Update: April 22, 2010
Visitors: 14113
Main Categories:
Love Life
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around this time, we're all sneezing and coughing and stuff, but how can i tell whether or not this is just allergies or if i'm actually sick? i'm sneezing, coughing, runny nose, phlemy throat, and stuffed up nose. its one of those things where i cant breathe through one nostril. who can tell me how to tell whether this is a cold or just allergies? (link)
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Hi,
this can be very confusing. I am a frequent allergy sufferer. Usually when you have a cold, mucus from your throat and nose is yellow or thick. This is not the case with allergies. With allergies the discharge is clear and you usually don't cough unless you have post nasal drip.
Go to a doctor to be on the safe side especially if you develop a fever.
Good luck,
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Hi im a 22 yr old female and me and my girlfriend of 3 yrs have been having problems because she says we dont have an emotional connection. the problem is i dont even really know what that means. I dont know how to give her that. Its really putting a damper on our relationship. Any advice?? Thanks in advance. (link)
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Hi,
an emotional connection is not something you can force. It has to happen naturally and it occurs over time. You can't just give it to her.
An emotional connection happens when you bond with someone on a deeper level. You wrote that you have been together for three years. If she feels there is no emotional connection after all of that time, I would suspect that there is a deeper problem that you need to address with her. Maybe the two of you are drifting apart and should talk to an unbiased person.
I hope this helped.
Good luck,
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How do I know if my relationship is just revolved around sex?
18/f (link)
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Hi,
I think if you have to ask, it probably is, but try this. Try to go a few days without it and see how the relationship works and what conversation evolves from it.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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About 2 or 3 weeks ago I had the stomach flu for about 24 hours then it went away. Then on Saturday I woke up and got sick, but then I was fine on Sunday. Then this morning I have the flu again. What's wrong with me? o-0 (link)
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Hi,
my son had the same illness when he was younger. If you have the same symptoms, it has to do with what you're eating. I don't know what you're eating, but you have to introduce food back into your system slowly.
Start off with only liquid things, and gradually progress to solids. Add spicy foods last. They will irritate the stomach and cause all of the symptoms to happen all over again. You're going to feel like you're starving for a while, but this is the only way you're going to get better. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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when a guy says "i want you" what exactly does it mean? my bf said it to me (link)
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Hi,
most of the time it means that he wants to be intimate with you. He's your bf. Talk to him about it.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Hey! I'm 20 and I have a boyfriend. We've been together a year. So here goes...
He's like a robot.. and he always wants to be sexual. Now.. before anyone assumes that he's a jackass.. he's not. He's plenty sweet.. and we have just as much of a sexual connection as we do a mental. He's a good guy, I promise. But sometimes I have trouble getting in the mood. Like.. I'll pretend to be sleeping, or sick.. just so we won't have to hook up. I'll even have friends sleep over, in my room on an air mattress just so he won't try anything.
Please don't think I'm no attracted to him or that he's not good at pleasing me. He is. And no, I've never had this problem with other guys I've been with.
I love him.. so I don't want this to ruin our relationship. He puts up with it.. but it's not fair what I'm doing to him. Lying, pretending, all that nasty stuff.. it's just not like me to do those things. I don't want to hide anything from him.
Help. (link)
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Hi,
your problem is not unique. Plenty of couples are dealing with the same issue. You wrote that he's like a robot. Maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe you need more foreplay than he thinks you do. Try talking to him about it. I can pretty much guarantee that things will change.
Women are emotional and spiritual. I'm sure once he gets started, he's great, but foreplay is just as important. Maybe that's the problem. Sit down and talk to him about it. Open communication is always the key. He probably doesn't even know anything is bothering you. It seems like you have something good going. I hope this advice helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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im 15/f
well my dad is an alcoholic and
he drinks from the time he wakes
up until the time he goes to bed.
the only time he doesnt drink is
when he has to go to work. but he
always drinks when he gets home.
he is sick he has hepitis c. its
not the std its one from drinking.
he has anger issues also. but to the
point, my dad use to abuse my mom until
she left because dcf was called. my mom dad me and my sister havent even lived in our new
house for 6 months yet and my dad is going
back to his old ways. he doesnt hitmy mom but
he does verbaly abuse my mom. and thats
worse. but today i got home and my mom
told me that her and my dad got into a fight
but the bad thing was my sisters friends were
over and they had to leave. but any ways their
bathroom doo is like broken. theres a huge crack in it and the outline for the door is broken.
my mom told me she had to go in the bathroom to
get away from him and im guessing he tryed to
break down the door. and im scared to leave
them alone together. i dont realy know what to
do any more. my mom is having truble right now
with money just like everyone else so we cant leave him again. i just dont know what to do.
-Tamera (link)
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Hi Tamera,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It's heartbreaking. Have you ever heard of Alonon? I hope I'm spelling it correctly, but it is a support group for families of alcoholics. If you get in touch with them, they can probably help you with any information that you need, including what to do and what your family can do regarding your father. I don't know if a shelter is an option for you, but it may be something to think about as well. I hope this gave you some helpful information.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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How do lesbians (or bisexual women) find other fellow lesbians? I have no "gay-dar" when it comes to women (men are pretty simple), how can I tell without asking so I don't come off as rude or disrespectful. I think I may be bisexual, but I don't know for certain because I've never had any experience with women before. I would like to find someone to talk to (not necessarily to pursue a relationship, but to consult and share experiences and advice). I am NOT willing to go to a gay club, I'm just looking for a way to approach someone about this.
Oh, and no one knows I may be bisexual, and I don't plan to come out anytime soon if I am. At this point in my life, I want to explore this part of me further, but I don't have anyone to talk to (I don't know any out of the closet gays, at least not well enough to come up to them and talk to them).
I am 18 and female. (link)
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Hi,
have to tried going online and exploring different websites or chats concerning the subject? I don't have any expert experience, but I'm sure you can find some information or someone who can relate with you anonymously about the subject. I hope it works out.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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so i have this classmate who is dating somone who lives near me but she lives far away. she always asks to sleepover my house, which i now realize is so that she can see him. whenever she sleeps over she she immeadiatly leaves in the morning to be with him and doesnt come back until the night. every time see ditches me to see him and never answers my texts when i ask where she is. She will sleep at my house friday night, leave in the morning until 7, come home and change and go with him to a movie, then come home and go to sleep. we dont really talk besides when she needs to stay at my house. I know i am being used and she does this to a lot of people and i must add that her bf is not very nice to me either. how do we get back at her for this?? (link)
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Hi,
the best way to get back at her is to take away what she wants the most. Don't let her sleep at your house. When she questions you about it, give her a piece of your mind and tell her to go and use someone else.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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ok so blah im 16..
yesterday i went out with chris and we went to a 21 and over club and i got in.. so we were dancing then we left cause we were going to meet up his friends.. so it was just me and him in his car... we had sex in the back seat... i was a virgin... or am i dont know it was like 3 min long because his friend came to get us so he pulled it out quick... we didnt use a condom.. and he wanted to cum in me but obviously he didnt wanna get me pregnant.. so yeah, like what do i do? i really like him. and next week hes going up north California cause since he's in the marines he has to go train and he MIGHT go to iraq.. i dont know what to do.. i dont know if hes going to take me seriously..
i sent him a txt this morning saying
"was that a 1 time thing or what? this is the first and last time im going to ask you this so be straight up" and he hasent replied yet (link)
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Hi again,
I am glad that you turned to me again for advice.
From what you told me before in you last question, I thought he was going to be more responsible, but I see that he wasn't and he doesn't care about the consequences of his actions. It's not like you're going to turn him in, right?
All I can say is that I hope you don't regret what you did. I know it can be hard to resist temptation when you are really into someone. It's hard to resist especially when it's considered to be the wrong thing to do. It's sort of a turn on for someone his age to want you. I've been in situations like that, so I'm not scolding you.
I hope that you don't get pregnant, but you know it's possible. I don't want you to be hurt or bring you down, but I think the odds of him getting serious with you are slim.
He's 24 years old and for the most part, he got what he wanted from you. He's leaving, possibly for Iraq. His training is not going to give him a lot of time for any type of relationship. It is very possible that it is a one time thing and you won't see or hear from him again.
If he is a gentleman, he will be honest with you and tell you how it is. If he doesn't, screw him. Learn from it and move one. I honestly hope everything works out for you. You have your whole life ahead of you.
Good luck to you,
Ediemarie
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i just bought a "natural" water pill. it contains lyk leaves and parsley and asparagus which is supose to naturally get rid of excess water. is this better than the other water pills or is it still unhealthy?? (link)
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Hi,
natural is supposedly always better, but you have to be careful. You don't want to use water pills as a way of losing weight. Most of these supplements are not FDA approved.
If you need help losing excess water, check with your doctor first. He can give you the right amount for your body type and weight. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I have extremely bad thunder thighs and its got to the point where i habe these really ugly stretch marks on the insides of my thighs. How would i get rid of the fat on my thighs? Im in track by the way. (link)
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Hi,
the fact that you are on the track team tells me that you have plenty of cardio in your life. That leaves you with your diet.
Try and shock your system with something new like cutting down or taking carbs out of your diet for a while. You can also cut out soft drinks and things like that. If you haven't tried weight lifting, that might be what you need. Try exercises that focus on the inner thighs. You can look up plenty of them on the web.
Try to remember that voluptuous thighs can also be a beautiful thing. Don't be too hard on yourself. Heredity plays an important part.
I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I have 2 questions. Theres this guy that really likes me and i like him a lot... on certain days, like one day i lovee him the next i don't like him, etc. He used to be like my brother but feelings grew. I was in love with my ex..his bestfriend..last year and he was basically my idea of the perfect guy. i neverr stay attracted to guys longer than about 2 weeks and i really hate it:( cause i focus on mainly all their flaws.. so my questions are
HOW DO I GET OVER MY EX AND JUST MOVE ON & forget how perfect he was and stop trying to make every guy i meet live up to his standards
and
HOW DO I LIKE A GUY FOR LONGER THAN 2 WEEKS AND NOT FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE STUFF
and
HOW DO I GET PAST THAT WE UESD TO BE "BROTHER AND SISTER" (link)
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Hi,
first of all, I think that if you are not over your ex, you shouldn't be in another relationship. The fact that you are comparing him to your ex shows that you are not ready to move on yet. There is nothing wrong with that. It takes time to move on.
I don't know if it was a good idea to date your ex's best friend. It's a number one deal breaker and it never works out.
I don't think you're going to get past the brother and sister phase. He was probably like a best friend and that's why you were attracted to him in the first place. You can't make that romantic. It is also probably making things awkward between all three of you.
Take a step back and reevaluate your situation. You'll know the right thing to do. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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21/f
Before I start, let me just say that I realize that I am an adult and have the responsibility of taking care of myself. I know that nobody has to help me in any way, and nobody really does. The thing that bothers me is that I feel like my family treats me unfairly in comparison with the way they treated my older sister at my age.
I am currently a junior in college, and have been responsible for paying my own tuition, books, and fees since my very first semester. I've been paying my own rent, bills, grocery, gas, etc (or my portion, with room mates) since I turned eighteen.
When my sister was in college, she had some scholarships, but not full ride. My parents paid the rest of her tuition and bought her books. She did have a job the entire time, but only part-time, and she used it to pay bills, food, and gas, along with her boyfriend (now husband) who had a full time job. She had no rent because my parents bought her a house to live in. They said they bought it for both of us (we went to the same school), but miraculously her boyfriend moved in, and I got kicked out of the picture. Now they're older and have bought the house from my parents. How lucky for them to come by property so easily.
I recently got married in a court house because my family couldn't seem to find the money to have a wedding for me. My sister got married at the same age that I did, and had a very nice wedding.
I'm wondering if I am being unreasonable to say that these things are unfair. Every time I try to express the way I feel to my family, they tell me I'm being unreasonable, and act like I'm hurting them by pointing out the obvious: I've always gotten the shaft. Of course, I'm always willing to step back and let other people be happy at the expense of my own happiness.
After all, I tell myself, "Most people don't get that kind of help from their families anyway." It just hurts that my family DID give that kind of help, they just gave it to my sister instead of me. (link)
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Hi,
I feel for you. There can be a number of reasons for your situation. I am a parent with three sons and our first child got spoiled just the way you say your sister did, but later on his father and I realized that we gave him too much and he didn't appreciate it. We didn't want to do that with the next one and we made him work a little harder for what he wanted. I don't know if your parents feel the same, but it could be possible.
Another reason could be that they don't have the financial means that they had with your sister. Maybe they don't want to admit it to you.
In any case, I'm sure they love you just as much. Try to have another sit down with them and tell them how much this is affecting you. Don't let them end the conversation until they understand where you are coming from. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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okay this has become i major problem
in my life at the age of 13 which is pretty
young. everytime i go to sleep when i wake up
not matter what time it is, my back always hurts
a lot and when i breathe in deeply my back hurts.
what could be wrong with my back ? (link)
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Hi,
I think this may be something you should talk with your doctor about. Back pain can come from a number of things from sleeping on the wrong mattress to a chest cold, or something more serious. The fact that it hurts when you breathe is concerning to me. Check it out. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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i met this guy named chris at a kick-back. and he thought i was 18.. so like he started talking to me and stuff.. ad we ended up kissing.. but not having sex because im a virgin and i wasn't going to give it up to him. so when he found out i was 16 he was like tripping lol. cause he's a marine and hes going to be a cop in 2 years and what happened is illegal you know. i've been seeing him every saturday for 3 saturdays straight. cause we hang around with the same people.. the second time we hung out he talked to me but like it was whatever.. his friend told me that he liked me but that i was young.. i see older guys dating underage girls all the time.. but yeah and i saw him this past saturday cause we had a bonfire at the beach and it was cold so he hugged me and when we were saying bye he slightly touched my butt.. he didnt really grab it or anything though. but we do text a lot.. but i really want to be his girl-friend.. how do i pull that off? (link)
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Hi,
you answered your question. You know what he is striving to be in life. It would be illegal for him to begin a relationship with you. He could go to jail. Is that what you really want?
You don't know him that well. There is a lot of years between the two of you. I don't think you should try to find a way to pull it off. Find someone close to your own age. That perfect person is out there. Just because other people have done it doesn't make it right.
When you turn 18, and you meet up again with him, and there's still chemistry, you can think about it then. I hope this advice makes you think about things more clearly.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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When I first met these two girls I thought they were mean and bitches butwhen I got to know them we became bffs. They made me feel important and popular when I was with them but after 3 months they started to ditch me so I left them alone and took a hint. And I found out they did this two other people too. But the weird thing is they are starting to be nice again. So I want to know what this means and should I be friends with them and will they stay like this forever.
p.s they never wheat back to amy one before (link)
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Hi,
I am so sorry, I think I missed your question because my computer was down. Take no offense.
I think first impressions are the best impressions. You can be friends with them if you just want to have a good time, but as far as taking them seriously, I wouldn't. I wouldn't trust them to be loyal or trustworthy.
If they did it to you once, they'll do it again. Take it from someone who knows first hand. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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how do you go about getting tested for herpes? there's a Teen Focus in my town.. is that what that's for? how much does it cost [no health insurance] and how long will it take to get the results back? i dont wanna go to my family doctor though.
a week ago i kissed this guy ONE time that i later found out has stage 2 herpes, and my throat has been a little sore lately, so i'm freaking out.
however after that i kissed another guy who i'm talking to, for the past 5 or so days and he went to his friends mom who's a physician to get his mouth checked out and she said he's clean and told him that i should be too even though she didn't see me. i'm really scared though, should i be worried? (link)
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Hi,
I think you will be just fine. Don't worry.:)
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Hi, I've been sick with a pretty bad fever for... maybe 4 or 5 days? and I've noticed my eyes are really red and glazed. I have two questions:
1. Is that normal?
2. How do I get rid of it?
Thanks! (link)
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Hi,
no, that is not normal by any means. I don't know how high your fever is, but it is a sign of infection. It could be as simple as a cold, strep, or something else. If over the counter medicine hasn't helped and if it is accompanied by pain, please see a doctor. You may need an antibiotic. I hope I helped and I hope you get well soon.
Ediemarie
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I dated this guy for a year and it was going really well we got on so well. About a month ago he dumped me and I am mixed raced and he is white and he said he cant be with me eneymore becouse me being mixed raced confuses things to much and he doesnt want that I have no idea what he meant as we dated for a year and I really love him. I am begning to think I am weird. (link)
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Hi,
don't let what anyone else thinks of you cause you to think in a negative way about yourself.
I don't know what his problem is, especially since the two of you were going out for such a long period of time.
The only thing I can think of is that other people around him are getting into his head and he isn't strong enough to stand up to them, so he let you go.
I know it might hurt now, but time heals and you will get over him.
You don't want to be with anyone who can't believe in you or who you are. I hope this makes you feel better.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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