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what to do when a friend is using you


Question Posted Sunday April 19 2009, 3:31 am

so i have this classmate who is dating somone who lives near me but she lives far away. she always asks to sleepover my house, which i now realize is so that she can see him. whenever she sleeps over she she immeadiatly leaves in the morning to be with him and doesnt come back until the night. every time see ditches me to see him and never answers my texts when i ask where she is. She will sleep at my house friday night, leave in the morning until 7, come home and change and go with him to a movie, then come home and go to sleep. we dont really talk besides when she needs to stay at my house. I know i am being used and she does this to a lot of people and i must add that her bf is not very nice to me either. how do we get back at her for this??

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LetMeKnow answered Monday April 20 2009, 10:34 am:
Although revenge is often our first impulse, it is very time consuming and seldom very satisfying. I would suggest that rather than "getting back at her" you simply cut her off. Next time she asks to stay over tell her your busy. If she presses you for details don't be put off just restate that your sorry, but she can't come over. If all else fails, blame you parents and say that they don't want you to have friends over. If she asks you again in the future and you don't want her staying over, go ahead and explain that you don't like that she only comes over to spend time with her boyfriend rather than spend time with her host (aka you). Talk to the other people who she has been using and find out if they feel bothered the way that you do. If they do, mention that you've cut her off and encourage them to do the same.
You shouldn't have to put up with this girl and her boyfriend. A "friendship" where you are getting walked all over is not a friendship worth putting effort into be it positive in trying to fit the relationship or negative in seeking out revenge.

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ediemarie answered Monday April 20 2009, 10:03 am:
Hi,

the best way to get back at her is to take away what she wants the most. Don't let her sleep at your house. When she questions you about it, give her a piece of your mind and tell her to go and use someone else.

Good luck,
Ediemarie

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