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curious
I am pregnant and we think it is a girl. I have been thinking about what to tell my child about what I would like from her when it comes to sex. Well what I want to tell her is that she should wait for someone she has been with for a long time, who we (parents) know well and she is pretty sure she loves. The reason I want that is because that is what I did. I didn't have sex until I was 17 and was in love with the man that is now my husband and I really like that I can say I only had sex with one man and he is the one I am with today. I guess it makes for no regrets and stuff like that.
I am really just curious to know something. Those of you who have had sex just because you wanted to do it do you regret it? Also those of you who have had sex with the one person that you were in love with was it worth it?
The reason I ask is because I hear about how many teens are having sex with so many people but I don't hear about the regret. I just would like to know if there is any regret out there.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The problem is that most teenagers don't have sex just because they want to, they have it because they honestly think they're in love and know the person very well. I think you should wait and see what being a mother is really like in all stages before worrying about what your daughter will be like as a teenager. I'm glad you married the man you were with when you were 17, but things don't work out that well for 99.9% of other teenage relationships. Waiting until you're in love doesn't guarantee that you'll have no regrets... in fact there are very few guarantees in life, and the sooner you realize that the better you'll be able to help your daughter through whatever comes her way.
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My one regret was taking my girl friends virginity from her. She had such an innocents about her, a nobility, a sureness, that I had no right taking from her. It was replaced by fear, self doubt and an inner loathing the likes I had never seen. I talked her into something she was not ready for and she knew I would leave now that I had gotten what I wanted. It changed her in ways I did not expect and I was afraid I could never get her back. In the days to follow, she broke down in tremors, cried and broke my heart to see her like this. That was 32 years ago, but nonetheless as yesterday for me. I still look at pictures of her and see what I took from her, knowing that I could never leave her, because I owed her.
We have been married for over 30 years now and we were and still are the only one to each other. Neither one of us has ever been, nor will ever be "with" another as long as we live. I will never forget the wrong I did her then and the right she did me by marring me.
I know this is not what you're looking for, but the odds that you will get what you're looking for is slim. You have to feel you have done something wrong to regret, it is unlikely that you will find many kids these days that even know the difference. As long as they got something out of it, their goal has been accomplished.
You, however, please believe that you are not in the minority. Hold tight in thinking that the majority are like you and me dear one, it is what I cling too.
Be well dear spirit.
In addition, I would like to add that this is not the reason I married her. I married her for the same reason I pushed her to have sex, I loved her, even more today then yesterday. I knew she was my only, even at that young age. I stay because I still love her, but I also realize that two life times could not be enough for me to return what she has given me. For in that act, she gave me everything she was and I will give her everything I am.
So that I swear.
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