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i think i'm bisexual
its been a long process, i've went through a questioning period before but now i'm pretty certain. i just don't know how to tell my friends that are girls. or my boyfriend, whom i love with all my heart. i've been having sexual fantasies about my friends and i don't want them to think that i'm coming onto them or something. one of my ex friends did this, told me she was bi and then immediately asked me to go out with her. it scarred me and completely ruined the friendship. i've known these girls for years and don't want to fuck it up.
is there any way i can get rid of these urges, or at least tell them without scaring them off?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you have a solid relationship with your bf telling him about your curiosities might not be a bad idea. Depending on your age and the nature of your fantasies I would say you might just be bi-curious which is actually not such a bad thing when you get into your college years. You are lucky to be a girl in this situation rather than a guy. It is a lot more acceptable for a girl to be bisexual than a guy.
I agree with the other people who posted that you should definitely wait until your at least college age to know...if you are college age which it sounds like you are not....you will be able to experiment to see if you are.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
If you are under 18 I would be hesitant to place a label on your sexuality. At this age both boys and girls are still trying to figure out their sexuality. To label yourself as a Lesbian or even bi-curious would not only be wrong but self defeating at this time. To even put this in the category of a phase that most young people go through would not be right either.
There are a number of reasons for sexual attraction to someone of our own sex at this age. First and foremost is the fact it is safer and easier to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the changing hormones your body is producing. Parents think nothing of two children of the same sex being behind closed doors, sleeping together, even in the same bed, particularly females.
I have known women that have been bi all through college, then gone straight heterosexual afterwards. Reason it was easier and sex was more available if you were bi; it was also safer.
My advice: Don’t put a label on your sexuality at this time. Just enjoy learning about who you are sexually. When you are older if you still want to put a label on your sexuality then do so, but for now just enjoy being you.
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Because of your confusion and uncertainty, I would suggest not telling your friends until you know for sure. There could be several reasons that you feel an attraction to the same sex that may have nothing to do with sexuality at all, such as feeling closer to females, maybe feeling safer around them, ect.
When it comes to your relationship, if you have a close relationship with your boyfriend you may want to talk to him about it and look into the possibility of an open relationship so you can experience a relationship with a woman. If he is not the open type and you and want to stay in the relationship, you may want to simply keep the fantasies to yourself and put that extra energy into your relationship.
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