|
i pretend to be happy when im really miserable..
well im the definition of "loner" i only have about 3 or 4 friends in this whole world. my boyfriend used to be my best friend, but he cant be my friend anymore because everything has changed since we started dating. im really happy with him, but i miss our friendship. i have another close friend, Nona, but she has so many friends besides me and shes always busy so im left alone. My boyfriend lives 20 minutes away and im not driving yet, so we only see eachother on fridays. and my other 1 or 2 friends i only talk to every now and again. like maybe once or twice a month. so they are more aquantince(sp) then anything. i always say that im happy where i am because i dont like being surrounded by people because im uptaining closterphobia(sp). but i just want a few more friends that i can talk to and hang out with and stuff. im fixing to try to get a lifeguard job, and that should add to my friend status, but im really shy. and i never start conversations. and see, all the time when i try to get friends? we become friends and then i get excited and just annoy them to death without even knowing it. or i do something wrong and they dump me. im just confused and lonely and bored and im already out of school so i have NOTHING to suck up the time with! and the lifeguard classes dont start until june...and i have nothing to do till then. any advice on how to get friends??
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Being a loner is tough. I have the same problem I am extremely shy when I meet new people. But to get out of this rut you should take your current friends and build more of a relationship with them. Go see a movie or go out to dinner. Make plans fill your day with things to do. And while you take your lifeguard classes try to be a little outgoing. It will go a long way. And start taking some classes of something you like, look around your area see what is offered and take a chance. You will meet new people that have the same interest as you and it will easy to talk to people when you have a common interest. So everyday go a little out of your shell and you will start making new friends and build a stronger bond with your current friends.
]
Welcome to the club, it's a big one! We are all loners, when it comes down to it. We come into this life alone, we will go out alone and we will feel alone in the middle. Believe it or not, it is most likely that the friends you have now, will not be friends in 10 years, you'll have a whole new set. And if you can't be friends with your boy friend, then you are with the wrong boy friend. My best friend in the world is my wife. There is no one I would rather be with, talk to, or knows more about me then her. The fact that you feel this way about him tells me you are too young for a steady relationship, go back to being friends and if it's meant to be, it will develop into a much stronger relationship. As the poster said before me, smile and get to know as many people as you can. I would add, don't be afraid. rejection is a part of life, there will be those who will reject you, that's their loss. Your only interested in finding those who will except you for who you are.
Bell well dear one,
Gilbert Mar
]
haha, I went through this (and I still sort of do). Basically, real friends are hard to come by so don't be surprised that you only have a few close ones. Have a bunch of aquaintances, it's as simple as smiling at someone who looks at you. Just show them you are approachable and when you build up the nerve talk about something you might have in common (it helps). Also there are websites like meetup.com where you can look for groups of people who have the same interests as you =) hope it helps!
]
Hey You! :) Smile cause life is great, even though it can seem overwhelming at times.
Hang off on going for friends right now and take some time to focus on yourself. You might also want to re-think the lifeguard situation. You said you had a bunch of time, right?
You'll find that by taking a step back and thinking things through a bit more, you'll get much better results.
Your life has changed recently. Find something you really want to learn more about, a subject that interests you that you can also do by yourself. Rockets, lipsticks, nanotech, whatever interests you (as long as it doesn't involve writing/reading romance novels). Writing/Reading Science fiction and comedy is good. :)
Based on your description of conversation and luck with friends I'd recommend the following link on a syndrome called Asperger's.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Whether the link is for you or not you'll have a better idea of how to look at yourself. The key is to look into exactly how your brain works for you and how it is different from how everyone else thinks.
Once you understand yourself, life will become much easier to plan and deal with. :)
-- Stay Honest
People become much easier to deal with and a huge amount of background anxiety will go away.
As you become more comfortable with yourself you'll become more comfortable with others and you'll definitely find more people that will be interested in being your friend.
]
More Questions: |