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Im so confused...
Okay so im 20 yrs old. Im bisexual and i have a girlfriend that ive been with for a year and a half now. I love her to death. she is a great person. when were good were great and im very happy. but when we fight its absolutely horrible. weve gotten in physical fights before where ive walked away with a black eye and fat lip. (shes alot bigger than I am). it hasnt been physical lately but some of the things she says are just horrible. for example, my mom is an alcoholic and when we fight shell call me an alcoholic (when i dont drink often and she drinks just as often as i do). shell tell me ill be alone the rest of my life. she calls me a hick and a redneck (which im not.. no offense to those who are) just bc shes from nyc and shes hispanic and im from pa and im white. shes lived in pa for the past 10 yrs tho. when i tell her these things upset me she says that just how she is and to get over it. sometimes i just dont know if i can take another day with her. and we live together which makes it harder. dont get me wrong i love her to death. i would do anything for her. but i just feel almost like i have nothing left to give. i work and she doesnt so i pay for EVERYTHINGGGG. and its like she appreciates nothing. sometimes i dont have the money to do the things she wants and she gets mad at me then. i just dont know. i dont kno what to do. like i said when we were good its amazing and i feel like i could absolutely spend the rest of my life with her. but when we fight i feel like im killing myself on the inside. Is she right?? Are all relationships like this and i just need to get over it?? I get so lost. Please give me your opinion. Thanks soo much <3
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relationships are difficult at times, but when abuse is involved, such as physical and emotional, which is the case in this matter, then it is time to leave. leaving the one you love and letting them go is just as hard as them doing it to you. but what you are going through is very unhealthy, and you deserve better. so, make it as peacefull as possible, but quick to. everything will work out for the best, but she is not the best for you. i hope that wasn't to harsh, but its true.
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Some relationships are like this, but they are not healthy, strong relationships. Most people would agree that what they want from a relationship is love, mutual respect and understanding, support, honesty, and on and on. How many of these are you getting?
Your relationship sounds like it has very high highs and very low lows - something a little more stable would spend a lot more time in the middle area, instead of dipping up and down.
Many abusive relationships feature exactly what you are talking about - periods of intense love and happiness, followed by physical or verbal abuse. In reality, these types of relationships are very unstable - though they can last for a long time because it can be hard for the person always getting hurt to leave.
You need to take a good long look at yourself and your relationship. A relationship sometimes is only as strong as its weakest moments - and feeling like you are dying inside is NOT a feature of a good relationship that will help you grow as a person.
It is possible to find a partner who is on the level with you, who does not insult you, and who treats you with respect - but only if you make the choice that you are deserving of that respect.
I wish you the best.
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Arguments are normal in relationships, physical abuse and insults are not. If she appreciated you, she wouldn't use you, hit you, or verbally abuse you. It sounds like you're giving her a lot, and you're getting bruises and hurt feelings in return. This relationship is unhealthy. Unfortunately, she has you beaten down enough emotionally to believe that this is actually normal. It isn't. There are guys and girls out there that will love you, compliment you, do nice things for you, and not make you put up with ten-percent of the bullshit that she gives you. Don't assume she doesn't love you or that nobody else could. She probably does genuinely care about you, unfortunately she has become so comfortable with abusing you that she assumes nothing she could do would drive you away. It's too late for you two, but if you leave now she will realize the error in her ways and won't treat someone else that way.
I tell you this because I was a lot like her with my ex-girlfriend. I didn't hit her, I rarely insulted her, but in general I took her love for granted and didn't heed her begging that I didn't go out with my friends as much, didn't drink as much, and that I would do something nice for her every now and then. I genuinely cared about the girl, but she seemed so obsessed with me that I didn't think I needed to do anything to keep her with me. Guess what. I was wrong. She cheated on me, dumped me, and now I KNOW that I will never take anyone for granted again. Look on the bright side, there are literally billions of people on this planet, and due to your sexual orientation, you have a chance with most of them. I only had about half after my break up.
Good luck and please send me a message letting me know what you decide to do.
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no. healthy relationships are not like that.
you are in an abusive relationship .you need to leave her, now.
do it over the phone so she cant hurt you.
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