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my best friend has changed
i beg your pardon if this is too long
well, i'm 16 and my best friend is 16 and we're both girls. at the beginning of the year, she was this innocent girl. never cursing (perhaps because of her muslim religion) no boys (same), good grades, good writer. everything was fine. we got pretty close. I then noticed her apparent obsession with herself. how she would look in the mirror so attentively and stare at herself and go "i'm sooo gorgeous"..i dont have a problem with that but it did seem like she had a narcissistic problem. she grew cocky over the next couple of months and all of a sudden..this new version of my friend..more cockier, confident..badder..appears. and i dont like it. she begins neglecting school work to text and talk on the phone. detentions...she gains an interest in boys..and one particular guy ..which her muslim dad nearly finds out about. and i've been helping her so she doesn't sink. but that self-love has been SO FREAKING OBVIOUS. her arrogance is astonishing! in fact, we've remained good friends up till today. i'd print stuff out for her in school, i'd call her, console her when the guy dumped her..give her advice. generally, i was there for her. all of a sudden...she meets these group of people..and in less than one week, she's telling me how much she loves them and how theyre her best friends. and she ignores my texts, doesnt say hi..goes over to them. doesnt care about me anymore. i feel used, betrayed...like ive spent my time with her and helping her for nothing. but that apparent cockiness...bothers me. we got in a fight and she called me a dumb fucker. after all ive done with her. how am i to deal? thank you in advance.
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This girl isnt your friend anymore. shes apearantly going through a phase that you tried to help with but it didnt work. its unfortunate, but you just walk away and be with your other friends.
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Friends drift apart. It's unfortunate, but it happens all the time. People change, and their friends don't always change with them. At this point you have basically just two choices.
Talk to her. At your age it usually seems "uncool" to express how you feel and explain what you think about the situation. However, I have grown to accept that no relationship, whether it be between a couple, friends, family, or coworkers, can be completely successful with a lack of communication. You can try and make her see the error of her ways, let her know her friendship is important to you and that you don't support the way she's acting. All you can do is hope for the best.
You could also just let her go. The unfortunate fact to about growing up is that the older you get, up to a certain point, the more temptation people face. You'll notice a lot of people starting to try drugs, have sex, and participate in other immoral and illegal behavior. If your friend is heading this way now, she probably won't turn back at least for a few years. Sometimes you realize that people you previously admired have become really ugly individuals. It hurts. It sucks. It's not fair, and you can really only move on and take it as a lesson as to how easy it is to be swayed by temptation. Keep your head up, try not to worry about it, and be proud of the fact that you still retain some moral dignity.
Good luck figuring this out.
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Your friend is obviously out of control.
At this point she is not your friend anymore, she's become a different person and you need to stay away from her. Focus on your schoolwork and stay away from her influence, stop doing things for her. If she asks, be honest, let her know that she's out of control and ruining her life and that you're not interested in participating in that with her. Then leave her alone.
Find new friends.
Unless she has been physically assaulted recently, she's using some type of drug and it's seriously affecting her moods and reactions.
If you're any kind of friend you'll let YOUR parents know that you're concerned about your former friend.
Be completely honest with them, this is no time to pass on unclear information. This girl needs help immediately.
Recommend that your parents contact your friend's parents to let them know she's not been on the up and up and that she's having a very rough time and needs special consideration.
Suggest that they purchase a home drug-test kit off the internet or locally and surprise her with it.
She will definitely be upset that you've keyed her parents into what's going on. She will also be very grateful if she wises up and straightens back out, which is what we're going for.
Should she not "Straighten Up", be prepared to see her pregnant, drugged out, dropped out or worse before graduation rolls around.
You are a true friend for asking for advice so unselfishly and I commend your loyalty to this girl.
Above all, be completely honest. If she comes to you with "you ruined my life", remind her that her situation is a direct result of HER choices, not yours. She'll either come around or she won't, either way YOU'VE done the right thing.
-- Stay Honest
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people change for a reson. sometimes it hurts to let people go but if she's grown apart from you i think the best thing to do is let her go. in the future im pretty sure she will need someone who will be there for her and she'll think about you and she will realize how she pushed a great friend away. i think the best thing to do is let her be and live her life how she wants. i know it kind of hurts to know that all the good times might not come back im sort of going through this right now but people will come in and out your life thats why i personally never get attatched to someone as much anymore. also dont feel like you have been there for her for nothing because like i said all those good times are memories and memories dont fade. there's nothing much really to do but let her pick her own way. i mean if you really really want her back to how she was then sit her down and tell her but idk that would probably get her mad;/
well goodluck<3
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