I am a 14 year old girl and my dad has always loved me a lot but just recently he started to kiss me on my neck and every once and a while on the lips, he also grabs me from behind and kisses me on the back of my neck.
I am not uncomfortable when he does it just makes me feel kind of weird I haven't told him about it and I'm not sure if I should or not I mean is this normal or no?
If you feel uncomfortable with it, as you are describing, then you need to tell him how you feel. Personally, I don't consider that normal. If he continues to be that way with you and you feel helpless, then you need to tell someone who can do something about it. Maybe your mom, or other relative. Maybe even a close friend.
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My mom married a much younger guy last year, and living with him has been awkward because he flirts with me when my mom's not around. Yesterday when my mom was at work I was sitting on the couch watching a movie with my little brother and sister, they were sitting on the floor. My step dad came and sat by me. He put his hands in between my thighs over my jeans and started touching my breasts. He did while my sister and brother were sitting on the floor with their backs to us and it was dark. When he did that I was scared . I told him to stop and he told me not to tell him to stop. My sister & brother were watching the loud movie, so they weren't paying attention to us on the couch. I tried pushing him away and moving. He kept on bothering me the whole time and I was scared to get up and when my mom got home I went in my room. I never feel comfortable around him. He'll put his hand on my waist, rub my stomach and get too close to me in front of my mom and it feels uncomfortable, and he's always saying "You're beautiful" My mom thinks he's playing around. And he looks at me with perverted eyes, all the time. i know my mom loves him so much and I know she wont believe me & she'll stay with him because he has money and we have nowhere else to go. She has stayed with him even though he beat her up before.
You should be your mother's number one priority over her second husband, not the other way around. Also the fact that she doesn't believe you makes the situation worse. That guy doesn't respect you or your mother if he's acting that way with you and it seems like he knows that your mother is only staying with him for his money so he takes advantage of you instead. I suggest that if you are a minor, you should talk to someone about it. Someone in legal matters. This is a very uncomfortable situation to be in.
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Hey there. I hail from a middle class family in Bihar, India. (A developing state.)
Male, just turned 18
first of all I would like to make you aware of the background of the problem. Here in India, every february-june there is a lot of activity going on concerning education. Admissions in engineering colleges is the major influencer. I have opted for the entrance exams of several institutions - some of them are over and some are due. They'd end by june beginning. For the last 4-5 months, my parents have tortured me. I had been studying continuously for hours and then if i try to relax for a little while by watching tv or using my mobile or by watering the garden, they make hell out of it. Their scoldings are like : " why are you cheating us ? Why aren't you studying ? Why are you laughing ? Don't you have to study ? Why are you listening to songs, you cheater ? You would not get good marks. You would not get good rank. They have discouraged me by saying, " I guess you have made up your mind to try for these colleges next year. " Gosh ! I have just taken a break. Why don't you understand ? For the last 2 years, i was tortured by my girlfriend whom i eventually left ! Those 2 years were spoiled because of her. I was not allowed to do anything other than talking to her. It was like prison. Not allowed to watch tv, not allowed to sleep at night, no listening songs, no spending time with family, no facebooking. Nothing of my wish. After leaving her, my family has started the drama. I left her some 3 months ago. My family is torturing me. Most of the time, i have tried to ignore them. Tried to smile. But it's too much. Every now and then, they are killing me. They never supported me. What should I do?
Hi there, I understand your dilemma. I'm well aware of how Indian parents can be because I am of Indian descent and I've heard lots of stories of how some parents can be. I know it's hard to think about ignoring them but at the end of the day, its your head, your grades, your well being. You should tell your parents how you feel. Ask them if they were your situation, how would they feel constantly studying all the time? Communication is key with your situation and I am sure you are smart enough to voice your opinion.
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asking because you were the featured columnist
her older sister who is 22 is in jail for the next year, based on some comments her younger 17 year old sister said I am worried that she might want to "join" her sister or do criminal acts as well. I talked to someone who works at that jail and she said the best thing to do is allow my younger daughter to visit her older sister in jail and maybe if I wanted allow her to be able to see the insides of the jail with her sister and a guard as a way to teach her (my younger daughter asked to visit but I was hesitant in allowing her to). Or allow her to watch her sister reenact the booking process or something. Do you think I should allow this or would it be too traumatizing? When she is with her sister what discussions should they have?
I would say that it would be better to let her see her sister than to not see her at all. I know you want to protect your daughter but imagine if she were you, wouldn't you want to see your older sister no matter what the case was? And it's not like the relative in jail is your aunt's sister's son daughter's grandfather's nephew. It's her own blood sister.
17 is a mature age for your daughter to handle what she might see in a jail as long as the guards are with her, you don't have much to worry about. I think the discussions should be up to your daughters, it's not something you should try to control. I don't think any person wants to be intentionally bad so I wouldn't worry about your younger daughter trying to be like her older sister. I think maybe she's trying to understand her sister and why she did what she did.
Sometimes you just have to let these things run their course.
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at my daughters schools from 6th -10th grade, in PE she attends the swim unit and boys and girls have
it together? Why is this allowed? Wouldn't this make girls feel uncomfortable
and give boys an opportunity to harass and humiliate girls? And cause
distractions and goofing off among everybdy? Not to mention young boys will be around girls shirtless which I think is inappropriate for young girls to be around of.
My daughter keeps saying she does not care but she is young and may not understand how wrong this is
this just seems wrong especially at school.You are at school to LEARN. Not to
goof off. Like it or not swimming is a class to workout and learn. Can't really
do that well with young boys and girls together. How can schools be so clueless?
can people really say honestly that young boys and girls will concentrate on swimming while they are around each other in bathing suits and not goof off? That boys (who arent known for sensitivity) won't use this opportunity to harass or tease girls? Seems kind of like a naive way of thinking to me
I know it is uncomfortable as a parent or adult or guardian to have their child, who is probably going through puberty, in a swim class among boys who are also doing the same. I wouldn't say that it's humiliating for girls. Both genders have an equal opportunity for being teased. Guys are just as much a target as well as girls.
Swimming class can also a place where kids can interact with one another, and so is school. They tend to do their own share of goofing off whenever they get the time to, inside and outside the classroom. In all honesty, that is one of the reasons why these after school activities exist in the first place...so students can interact with one another while not in the classroom setting.
No child wants to get teased and I'm sure the students themselves know that. Honestly, young boys and girls can concentrate on swimming while being friends with one another as well. Not all young boys are insensitive and it isn't right to generalize them.
You have to also look at the possibility that an all girls or an all guys swimming team can also lead to teasing and harassment. Harassment from the same gender can permanently scar a child's perception of body issues just as much as harassment from the opposite gender.
Thus, is the possibility that something can happen, and a concerned adult should always be aware of that, but that falls into the category between adult-child interaction. Will your child come to you if he/she is being teased?
Also, I'm sure the students would have to wear appropriate clothing for this activity too.
My advice: keep a positive mind but be vigilant about the situation.
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I'm a 17 year old girl, and I'm a very sensitive person. I'm quite self-conscious and constantly worry about being judged. I have been this way my entire life.
For as long as I can remember, my parents have been making snide and sarcastic comments to me about what I wear, what I eat, my acne, the fact that I've never kept up a sport or instrument, etc. It's not that they sit there and laugh at me for having a pimple, it's more like, "Sure, eat more of that greasy pizza, that'll help your skin." I guess I'm supposed to laugh it off, but I get offended and try to make some clever comment back, which is usually more rude than clever, and gets me in trouble.
I can tell that they're coming from a good place (trying to get me to change my behavior or improve myself), but they're doing more harm than good. I have told them repeatedly that I don't like it when they mock my intelligence, but they just get angry with me and tell me that I can't take a joke. Yup. I can't; I just have a private cry and a cigarette or two.
What can I say to make them realize that I am NOT okay with such comments? Thanks :)
Hi there. I understand what you are going through because with my parents it's the same deal. I haven't figured out a way to solve the issue either but I try to ignore them as best as I can and remember that my parents want the best in me. Our parents aren't psychologists and they don't understand how things register in young minds. My parents make fun of my face if I happen to break out as well, not realizing that there are certain times when breakouts are more likely to happen. Getting back at them by being fiesty, I'm sure you've noticed, won't help you either and I can tell that you're a type of person who doesn't let people walk over you, no matter who they are and that's an admirable trait. If the matter is that serious, then you need to tell your parents that you think they're acting really negative towards you when it comes to "making fun" and that you don't take it the way they mean it and you would prefer it if they stopped. That's another alternative. Remember, no one is psychic and most people can't read emotions, so the best way to let someone know how you feel about something is by downright telling them. And at least it's your parents, who you know will always look out for you and I'm sure will adjust to make you happy. :)
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i loved a person and hetoo loves me a lot but our parents are not all accepting our love . my parents fixed a mtach andthey want me to do that match whihc i dont like when i asked this to beloved he said his parents also not accepting, moreover our parents are saying if we wont listen to them they will die.advise.
Are you of Indian descent? A lot of marriages in India stem from arranged marriages, that seemingly don't end up in divorce. But you have to realize, in an Indian society, your own neighbors and family look down on you when they hear news of divorce. Indian people, to me always have to seek others approval to be someone in life. Wives accept their "misery" and somehow grow to accept the person they are married to. It is hard, but it can be done. You have to think about your life and what you want. Do you want to live with your parents and family and society approval all the time? Can you handle criticism in the future from people that you once called your friends? If you can, then I think you should be able to marry the person you fall in love with. Your parents will not die because you refuse to marry the person they want. You need to realize that the person they arrange you with, is the person they think you have a better chance of living with, financially, medically, etc. That is the point of arranged marriages. You should get to know all of this information about the person you are in love with too and compare if you can handle it with your future.
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My boyfriends father just got out of jail 5 months ago he had been in there for 4 years and this was my first time meeting him. He seemed generaly nice and when he asked if he could stay with us I told him I had to think about it. A day later he said he would pay rent and help with food if he could stay because he got Assistance. Having a new born I decided we needed all the help we could get. Well he didn't help with rent or food at first but he did a car payment for us so I let him stay. Every month he said he did a payment but still didn't help with rent. I got real frustrated when our lease was up and we had to move and he said he would pay half and turned up not paying a dime. I eneded up getting money off my parents to pay for a new place. Then a repo man came for our car. Apperently he had not been paying anything twards the car. Lately he has been staying with his mother and staying here once a week. One morning after staying here my parents picked me up to get the car back as a early christmas day present and he stayed behind. When we get home my boyfriends guns and amo was taken. (They were given to him by his dads dad so they are in his name) and his dad said it was because my boyfriend was going on the road for truck driving and we be gone days on end. Now his dad is saying we owe him 200$ for spending his money on our gas bill. We have already faught so bad I kicked him out once and he made my boyfriend pick me or him. (The fight was soon over when he realized I had been right and that I had nothing to be sorry about)after all this I don't want his dad living with me while my boyfriend is away and I don't like that he went in our room to get the amo. I don't know how to say this without upsetting everyone but I know if he stays ill pack my stuff and take off with my son(ill let my boyfriend know where I am and such). Advice?
I think you need to do what's best for your son and you. First of all, your boyfriend needs to tell him that he needs to find a job or something because he's literally wasting space just being there. He hasn't paid for anything, hasn't done anything, and does not help. You have a child you need to worry about. The only problem is, I don't think you should leave your boyfriend. After all, it's the baby's father and the separation between you two might take a toll on the relationship. Where will you go with your son if you do leave? Are you stable enough to live without your boyfriend's help? In all honestly, I think the dad needs to go, not you. It's your place, his son's place, his son's life, not his. He had his chance to live and he shouldn't infringe any of that on his child and his child's family.
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her mother is going to prison for a year for a forgery charge. I wonder once she goes if I should take my 13 year old daughter to visit her, but I am not sure I want my daughter to be inside a prison environment
it has nothing to do with her mother, she made some stupid mistakes but she is not a bad person nor was she a bad parent to my child, but it is the envioronment I wonder about
I'm a little confused as to the relationship between you and the girl. First you say her mother and then you say your daughter. Are you talking about the same person?
Also, I personally believe that regardless of situation, any child would want to see their mother. It's any human's maternal instinct to want to know and be close to their mother. And when it comes to visiting, I'm almost sure they do not place visitors with the people of the jail.
You should call the jail ahead of time and ask what the arrangement is like. I'm sure if you explained yourself, they would understand and let you know what the situation is.
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I am a 20 year old female who has a great day life. I go to school, I work part time, I have great friends and a good family. I live at home with my parents to save money while I attend nursing school.
One bump is my mother. My mother is a sometimes functioning alcoholic. She holds a day job but at night drinks to oblivion and is just disgusting. She can't handle her booze at all, she'll go to bars and call me for a ride because she is kicked out of the bar. My mom is in her 50's so it's not normal. Her newest weakness is not making it to the bathroom, she will pee on the FREAKING floor. It's DISGUSTING. She's a mean nasty drunk and I want nothing to do with her.
I love my younger sister and my dad but he works nights and just doesn't realize the extent to which she is sick. During the day, my loving amazing mother comes back (which makes it really hard for me to try talking to her about it) but sometimes I just can't be here and she's just really nasty.
P.S. I really don't want pity or anything and I know many people have things much harder with an alcoholic parent, and I just want to figure out how to go about helping my Mom.
This type of help your mom needs cannot fully come from you. I believe your mom needs professional help so she can see for herself what the problem is. Please let your mother know how she makes you feel when she acts like that.
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So my mom called me a bitch twice in an argument last week and we still have not been talking. Today she proved how immature she is. Our family was supposed to go on a boat today on the lake I already thought I was going my dad and sister already invited me. And this made me my mom angry, she turned into a high school student throwed a fit and said if I'm going she isn't going. She got all the attention on her in the house and played the victim. I was so over it. So she tells ny dad he needs more control and he then says I can't go. I went to her and asked her why she is acting like this she had no good reason. So we got into yet another disagreement. My dad doesn't know she even called me a bitch. She's asking like its all my fault. She knows she's wrong she is using her power as a mom to ignore the fact that she is wrong. I'm tired of her and I'm over it. I don't ever see us talking again and I don't want anything to do with her anymore. I'm just done. I'm the daughter yea and oh I'm supposed to respect my parents but she can disrespect me and get away with it??? That's serious bullshit.
I find it kind of odd that your dad and sister invited you to a trip and after you said you were going, your mom said she wasn't. I think you need to tell your dad what's going on. Maybe he can talk to your mom and maybe he knows what's going on with her. Are your parents married? You can't just leave the house considering it's a house to stay in and better than nowhere.
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ok so i am 13 and my brother is 3. a year ago i found out on my dads phone that hes going on to dating websites and talking with other women. and before that i found condoms in his car droor. and i just think he goes to other womens house and you know, does it with them. i dont know what to do. i told my aunt but she told me not to tell anyone. i think when my brother grows up to be my age one day, i will tell him and discuss what to do about it together, but now what do you people think?
Your mom has a right to know. And how is this aunt related to you. Is it his sister or your mom's sister?
Imagine if you were your mother. Would you want to find out later?
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my boyfriend and i have been dating for about a year and a half. and his dad doesn't seem to like me. because he has told me that his dad said "she just wants to take you for a ride" and last weekend he sorta said that i should go to our lady of peace (a psychiatric hospital). i've asked him why he doesn't stand up for me and he says he just wants to keep the peace. my opinion there's a difference between keeping the peace and not standing up or defending your girlfriend while someone who talks badly about them. should i just give up?
Your boyfriend should honestly try to stand up for you more. But I really do feel that your boyfriend is truly just trying to keep the peace like he says. His dad is very protective of his son. And your boyfriend seems to be family oriented. If you are truly a decent/faithful girlfriend then I don't think you should leave your boyfriend for his lack of standing up to his father over you. You are dating him and not his father. I think the father just needs to be given a little more time to accept reality that he cannot change, assuming you stay with him.
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I'm thirteen, turning fourteen and I have NO privacy. At all. Ever since I was nine, she thought it was funny reading my journals, going through my cell phone, blocking websites like YouTube and games websites. It's ridiculous. It's a crime to close a door in the house, even if I'm in the bathroom or changing in my room. My parents never knock, and always barge in. I found it necessary to protect my iPhone with five different passwords. My two sibs come in my room, use my stuff, ruin my homework, draw on my walls... It's ridiculous. I don't think the "open doors" thing is really working right now! I NEED MY SPACE!
Hun, my parents always told me that for as long as I live under their roof, everything I own is theirs. I don't understand the Youtube site, but game sites could have rated R games on it. As for your siblings, you need to tell them that you don't appreciate what they're doing, especially when they draw on your walls, which is uncalled for.
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according to my mother. She may disagree, saying I put words in her mouth but this is how I perceive it. I am 20 years old (female) and am only living with her (my parents are divorced) because I cannot afford to move out and am still in university. I feel as though she holds a lot of things against me, like the things she does for me (cooking, a roof over my head). She says I'm selfish, self centred, I only think of myself. I'm not really sure if this is even worth putting up as a question to be honest. I just don't know how much longer I can deal with being told how horrible I am. Yes, I get into fights with my mother, I'm 20 years old. I don't wish to be living at home but I'm a full time student and working part time doesn't pay all the bills. It's my fault. On top of this I put a lot of pressure on myself and don't view myself highly to begin with. We saw a therapist for 2 sessions and I told her tonight I wanted to go back and she said she didn't want to see a woman who tells her I should be able to do whatever I want. I'll admit, I don't treat my mom with as much respect as I should. I'm supposed to just respect someone despite the fact that they are always upset with something I've done (like letting a bowl soak in the sink). I don't clean up to her standards, I do nothing to her standards and she often says "I'd love to see what your place will look like" - how can you say that's just a statement? It's clearly meant to imply she thinks I will live in filth and squalor, although I keep my room very neat. I just feel as though this is once again all about me, because I'm selfish, right? I honestly don't know how much to even write because according to my mother I've "got it good" and I don't realize how lucky I am. Maybe I do. Maybe I'm just a horrible, spoiled person.
Hey hun, I'm 19 and my parents tell me that all the time. They do wonder how I'm gonna live, and how I'm gonna survive and how far my attitude will take me in life and whatnot. My parent's don't really believe in therapy so that's out of the question. If you think there's a problem with your mother cooking for you, then why don't you try to cook for yourself sometimes? My mother yells at me to make food for myself sometimes when I don't want to eat what she cooks or when I'm hunry at an inconvienient time for her to make it for me. I am always told really negative things as well, but I put it all behind me because one day, in the future, I don't have to hear it anymore. But, little as you might think, these things really push you and give you some motivation to be better in your future without realizing them. One day you're going to be cleaning your house to your best and you'd be thinking "if only my mother could see me now." While you might think you're doing things to spite her, in reality, you're doing exactly what she wanted you to do all along. When I'm 20, I wouldn't be paying the bills either, I mean, I'm still a kid, I'm not an adult and I go to school, to be educated, like any student in elementary, middle or high school. And EVERY mother would get upset if you don't do dishes when they want you to do it. Trust me, I've been yelled at so many times when I leave it there overnight because I was apparently too "lazy" to wash it when I was done. Trust me, these things, little by little help you in the future. Just try to do your best to please her without making yourself unhappy. You're not spoiled, you are just soft-hearted. :)
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Im 17 & my boyfriend just turned 20. My boyfriend that ive only dated for four monthes is talkin to his ex girlfriend again that he dated for four years. They broke up a month before he got with me and they lived together. The first two weeks we dated he broke up with me & said that he just couldnt stop thinking about her and he was gonna see if he could get back with her cause they always use to break up and get back together. But they didnt this time and sge said they could be friends but me and him got back together & I said they couldnt. Now im pregnant with his kid. I deleted her off his facebook & he added her back sayin he wanted to talk to her aometimes to see how she was doing and that I disnt understand how he feels because theyve been together for four years. He said he would not cheat on me but he wants to be friends with her. But I know you cant be friends with someone you dated for that long. What should I do? End it? Please reply!! Asap :/
You have his kid, so you have to consider that and overall, if your boyfriend is a decent guy then allow the kid to be in his life. I don't think you can control the idea if he wants to be friends with his ex. I know the feeling of paranoia, trust me, but I think you shouldn't end it without proof that he is truly cheating on you. Maybe he really does want to be friends. I mean, his ex can't be nothing in his life. She was once the woman he loved, and she will always mean something to him, but some people choose their ex's to have a positive or negative meaning. Your boyfriend chooses to have a positive meaning with his ex. Don't do anything rash, especially since you're now pregnant.
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this is really weird but I feel like I"m addicted to my mom. I usually miss her when I'm not with her. I'll text her or call her. It's like something is missing when she's not around. We have always been close. But now, it's more than that. Before, it was like I could talk to her about anything. Now, it's more like I'm scared or worried when she's not around. It's not that open and free relationship. It's more like trapping because I feel the need to be with her all the time. I don't understand why this would happen to me. I mean, I do go places without her. And when I'm with friends or something, I'm fine. It's more when I'm alone that I want to be with her, specifically.
the problem is that she has this really big attitude. When she gets mad at my grandmother or something, she takes it out on everyone. Even me. She's also very controlling. She likes to control people, especially me, including my hair color, nail color, the clothes I wear. But she claims it's because "she knows what's best." I know what's best for me too, I'm 20 years old. She also gets angry when there isn't enough money for things. But, she doesn't REALLY go job hunting. Then she tells me I better go calling my interviewers to follow up. And I understand... but I'm in college and doing the best I can. Trying to get good grades, so I can go to grad school.
I don't know what to do. most of the times I'm upset it's because I'm fighting with her or unhappy about something she did. Yet, I can't stay away. It's like I need her all the time.I want to move out and maybe get my own apt and start my life and I'm excited for it. But, will I really be able to live there without my mom?
Well part of growing up is to learn to live without your parents. Currently, I'm making the same transition too. My parents did almost everything for me. I'll be 20 soon and already, I'm kinda on my own. I guess the thought of being alone scares you. Trust me, it scares me too. But being alone teaches you how to fend for yourself. Your mom won't be around forever so it's best to start. You don't have to completely move out of the house but you could start to be a little more independent with your life, such as doing your own chores, without almost any help from your mother. Try to take care of yourself and consider your mother's only duty to you is to provide a place to sleep and whatnot. If you can handle that, then you wouldn't be as scared. Hope you feel better about it! :)
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somedays ago i found a woman aged 43 on facebook who was ready to adopt me..since no one loves me..she was ready to love me..she was single and divorced..she wanted a son and i wanted a mom..everything was going ok..but then i contacted her friend..and asked some question about her,.her friend told her about it..and she got mad at me and now she wants me to stop contacting her..she means my family and my world..i cant live without her..i can do any thing to get her..i love her a lot..plz help me ..i need a mom to love me iam 17 now and my name is brock
Hi Brock.
I don't understand why she is being like this. This all depends on the type of questions you asked her friend. You have to try your best and show her you did it out of love. Then again, you are 17 years old, and a young man and you don't NEED her love. Clealy, she's mad over something small. If she doesn't come back to you, realize that you are capable of making a life in your own. I know it is going to be tough and I do not know your financial situation, but I'm sure there is a way you could work things out somehow. For now, try talking to her even if she doesn't want to listen, because she'll still hear you.
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I am a fifteen year old girl living in Hell. My parents fight constantly. Over the dumbest shit ever. I am smited and cursed at and beat because I can't do a lot of things the way my parents want because I have never learned. For instance, today, my stepdad strangled me because I walked away when he was telling me to go get something. My mom pulled me by my hair because I accidentally got the house wet with the hose when I was cleaning out the cat box. They treat me like shit. My mom tells me I'm ugly and she gets very angry because I am quiet and I am a little bit difficult at learning things. She complains that I can't do anything right. It makes me feel like I will never ever amount to anything at all. When I try to be what they want, I can't do it right. When I want to be who I am, they treat me like shit. They don't listen to what I have to say, they think I am a complete failure, and nothing I ever do is ever perfect for them. Somedays I just feel like killing myself, or running away, or even calling child services. My life is off and on happiness. I was happy and now I am getting depressed. They expect so much out of me when I don't know what they want. I need help. I don't know what to do anymore. They threaten me and my sister, and they abuse us when we don't say or do the right thing. We are sick of it. My sister is 9.
Anything will help us. I just need some guidance.
Your family needs counseling that's for sure. Standing up to your parents definitely won't help because they'll end up beating you. No parent should tell their child they're ugly or strangle them, or pull them by their hair. In fact, NO WOMAN should be pulled by their hair. Karma, keep that in mind. For now, try seeking someone to talk to that can probably aid you finding someone to help your family. Try going to advice to a counselor and maybe they can recommend someone.
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I'm 18 years old and I love my boyfriend with all my heart. We both want to have a baby and now I think I might be pregnant. I'm kind of happy because my family wants me to graduate high school and go to college. My family is very judgemental so how do I tell them that I'm going to have a baby. Has anyone been through this? How would you tell your family? My boyfriend is the type of guy that will be by your side no matter what.
Well, if they like your boyfriend, just have a talk with them and say that this happened. I mean, hiding it might not be the best way to go because your parents might be dissapointed in you if they find out otherwise.
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