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I can't anymore... I want out :(
this is really weird but I feel like I"m addicted to my mom. I usually miss her when I'm not with her. I'll text her or call her. It's like something is missing when she's not around. We have always been close. But now, it's more than that. Before, it was like I could talk to her about anything. Now, it's more like I'm scared or worried when she's not around. It's not that open and free relationship. It's more like trapping because I feel the need to be with her all the time. I don't understand why this would happen to me. I mean, I do go places without her. And when I'm with friends or something, I'm fine. It's more when I'm alone that I want to be with her, specifically.
the problem is that she has this really big attitude. When she gets mad at my grandmother or something, she takes it out on everyone. Even me. She's also very controlling. She likes to control people, especially me, including my hair color, nail color, the clothes I wear. But she claims it's because "she knows what's best." I know what's best for me too, I'm 20 years old. She also gets angry when there isn't enough money for things. But, she doesn't REALLY go job hunting. Then she tells me I better go calling my interviewers to follow up. And I understand... but I'm in college and doing the best I can. Trying to get good grades, so I can go to grad school.
I don't know what to do. most of the times I'm upset it's because I'm fighting with her or unhappy about something she did. Yet, I can't stay away. It's like I need her all the time.I want to move out and maybe get my own apt and start my life and I'm excited for it. But, will I really be able to live there without my mom?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Well part of growing up is to learn to live without your parents. Currently, I'm making the same transition too. My parents did almost everything for me. I'll be 20 soon and already, I'm kinda on my own. I guess the thought of being alone scares you. Trust me, it scares me too. But being alone teaches you how to fend for yourself. Your mom won't be around forever so it's best to start. You don't have to completely move out of the house but you could start to be a little more independent with your life, such as doing your own chores, without almost any help from your mother. Try to take care of yourself and consider your mother's only duty to you is to provide a place to sleep and whatnot. If you can handle that, then you wouldn't be as scared. Hope you feel better about it! :)
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