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My dad is cheating on my mom, and my aunt told me not to tell anyone! What do I do?
ok so i am 13 and my brother is 3. a year ago i found out on my dads phone that hes going on to dating websites and talking with other women. and before that i found condoms in his car droor. and i just think he goes to other womens house and you know, does it with them. i dont know what to do. i told my aunt but she told me not to tell anyone. i think when my brother grows up to be my age one day, i will tell him and discuss what to do about it together, but now what do you people think?
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The problem here is that because you are so young and don't know much about how the world works, much less how people think, you should keep this secret to yourself. You have little real idea about what is going on in your parents' marriage other than what they have chosen to show you.
The biggest danger for you personally is that your mom might actually resent you telling her. Yeah, it sounds screwy, but it's been known to happen. Your mom might have convinced herself that nothing is actually going on and, when people are awoken out of their denial they sometimes lash out. Not to mention the REAL nastiness when your mom and dad each get their own lawyers and begin fighting over custody and community property issues in court as a result of the revealed affair.
Look, if you just gotta confront someone about this, talk to your dad, though he will use the gambit of, "why in hell are you snooping on my phone?" And you know what? He would have a point. You want your parents snooping through your text messages or emails? I didn't think so. The best approach may be going up to him and asking him if he still loves your mom because you've been sensing some tension between the two of them lately. That's about as far as you can take it in broaching the subject.
Your brother is too young to know anything about this. Leave him out of this.
Yes, you're caught in the middle here and it definitely sucks. Good luck to you and your brother.
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I say, listen to your aunt FOR NOW. Since she's the only one who knows, talk to her and let her know how you feel about this situation. Ask her if she can do something about it. But I believe you should follow your heart. I'm sorry that you have to go through this and I hope everything gets better.
~Andrew~
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It is not your role as a child to inform on your parents. So my advice is to follow your Aunts advice on this. Finding dating websites and condoms is evidence not proof. Unless you have absolutely undeniable proof of something like this you keep it to yourself.
Let you Aunt handle it, she is the adult. If she is your fathers sister she will find away to tell him you are aware of his possible indiscretions. If she is your moms sister she will find a way to let him know she is aware and to knock it off.
This is something for the adults not the children to handle.
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I suggest you don't tell her. And don't tell your brother either.
It's not the role of children to mess around with these sorts of situations.
It was also EXTREMELY irresponsible of your aunt to tell children such things.
My advice? Speak to your aunt. Ask her what she is basing her opinions on. Ask her to speak to your mother.
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Your mom has a right to know. And how is this aunt related to you. Is it his sister or your mom's sister?
Imagine if you were your mother. Would you want to find out later?
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