|
My parents make hurtful comments, how can I get them to stop?
I'm a 17 year old girl, and I'm a very sensitive person. I'm quite self-conscious and constantly worry about being judged. I have been this way my entire life.
For as long as I can remember, my parents have been making snide and sarcastic comments to me about what I wear, what I eat, my acne, the fact that I've never kept up a sport or instrument, etc. It's not that they sit there and laugh at me for having a pimple, it's more like, "Sure, eat more of that greasy pizza, that'll help your skin." I guess I'm supposed to laugh it off, but I get offended and try to make some clever comment back, which is usually more rude than clever, and gets me in trouble.
I can tell that they're coming from a good place (trying to get me to change my behavior or improve myself), but they're doing more harm than good. I have told them repeatedly that I don't like it when they mock my intelligence, but they just get angry with me and tell me that I can't take a joke. Yup. I can't; I just have a private cry and a cigarette or two.
What can I say to make them realize that I am NOT okay with such comments? Thanks :)
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
i am a teenager too and this happens with me.but whenever they comment such things i just dont say anything cause it makes the whole thing worse.i just keep quite.and after sometime when they are in a relaxed mood i talk to them and say it indirectly that what they said realy hurted me.and try to make them understand that if someone said that to them what would they feel like.but dont try to argue with them.they are doing this so that you can change your bad habits.they are your parents,not your enemy or something like that.they always wants your best.tell them nicely that their joke hurts you and tell them not to do so.try to tell this with any other topic but not directly.tell them about your feelings.i hope they will try to understand you.
]
I'm sorry your parents are putting you through this. Mocking a child is not good parenting and to my way of thinking borders on child abuse. Mental abuse, which mocking can be judged to be, is child abuse.
That being said let me tell you I am old enough to be your grandfather. While I'm sure your parents love you and want only the best for you; mocking you and humiliating you, if only in their presents is not good parenting.
Now what can you do to make them understand they are not helping and in fact abusing you with their mocking. I would first suggest if you could; that you speak with an Aunt or Uncle you are close too that might talk to them for you. Coming from a brother or sister what you have tried to tell them may be more meaning full. If you cannot speak to an Aunt or Uncle try talking to one of your grandparents. Grandparents are far more understanding as grandparents then they were as parents. You see we have made our mistakes in raising our children and we still have some parental control over are children as well.
If neither of those suggestions are viable then I suggest you speak with a trusted teacher or your school principal. As I said depending on how severe their mocking of you is it can be considered child abuse. Something your parents may not be aware of. They may believe they are motivating you when in fact they are demoralizing you and tearing down your self-esteem.
Your teacher of principal can ask one or both of your parents to school for a meeting at which time they will discuss your home life with them, how it is effecting your growth and maturity as well as it being abusive.
The only other alternative is to put up with it for another year till you turn 18 and are legally an adult. Once you are an adult you no longer have to listen to them and can if you wish move out of their home. As long as you live in their home you will unfortunately be the recipient of this type of abuse in the name of good parenting on their part.
]
walk up to them and tel them calmly that they are hurting your feelings ask them nicely to stop if that doesn't work make like bananas a split go to you room lock the door or block the door and don't come out till you think they got the point ok
love ya friend
sweetgirl12free
]
Hi there. I understand what you are going through because with my parents it's the same deal. I haven't figured out a way to solve the issue either but I try to ignore them as best as I can and remember that my parents want the best in me. Our parents aren't psychologists and they don't understand how things register in young minds. My parents make fun of my face if I happen to break out as well, not realizing that there are certain times when breakouts are more likely to happen. Getting back at them by being fiesty, I'm sure you've noticed, won't help you either and I can tell that you're a type of person who doesn't let people walk over you, no matter who they are and that's an admirable trait. If the matter is that serious, then you need to tell your parents that you think they're acting really negative towards you when it comes to "making fun" and that you don't take it the way they mean it and you would prefer it if they stopped. That's another alternative. Remember, no one is psychic and most people can't read emotions, so the best way to let someone know how you feel about something is by downright telling them. And at least it's your parents, who you know will always look out for you and I'm sure will adjust to make you happy. :)
]
More Questions: |