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Ask me questions, and i'll answer them. I'm smart so usually I`ll know the answer. I`ll tell you the truth, like almost every person with an advice column does, so don`t be suprised. I love my friends & family, I just love life, but don`t worry it took me a while to get here. My life isnt perfect & i've had a lot of deaths. I have a good perspective on things, usually if you ask me a question i've already been in that situation. I know life is hard & i know things suck but i also know that life is amazing too.
If I tell you to just buck up and do it, I really mean it & i'm not just saying that becuase i don't know what else to tell you.
Likes: mature people, skim milk, mac & cheese, making cookies, friends, my whole family, cats; especially mine, books, television, music, parties, boys, clothes, flip flops, lacrosse, soccer, running, traveling, those little trays on airplanes, hot chocolate in the morning, waking up when its raining or snowing, going to sleep during a thunderstorm, & taking showers in the afternoon & SUMMMERR 8D
Dislikes: People who hate cats, people who don't like to read, people who don't know anything about what is happening in the world or don't care, grilled cheese, slow computers, traffic, cell phones that break to easily, blind refs, people who think its cool to be stupid on purpose, people who invite themselves to things, people who think they can control everything, people who think they can`t do it, & people who dye their hair becuase you were made with the color hair you look the best in, and people just dont get that.

advice

13/f
I like my best guyfriend. I think he likes me... What do you think?-- We flirt alot and he always asks my opinions on things. I sit next to him in two classes. He's really nice to me and tells me alot of his secrets. He looks at me often. He has called me hot before. Like all this sounds so great, but for some reason i feel like he doesnt like me. What do you think?????

Well, from the information you gave it's a very good chance but you can't be sure, there are alot of other things that come into play. Like, if he thinks of you as a friend or someone he would like, if he likes someone else also. You can figure this out by asking him if he likes someone, and you can also use your friends and his friends as tools to help you find the answer. But try and be sneaky about it until you are at least 90% sure that he might like you.

Im a fourteen female and I have this iffy chronic fatigue thing, so Im homebound and dont get to see much of my friends let alone this AMAZING boy. This is going to be lengthy. Apologies! But friends dont matter much at the moment because my closest are moving away, including said boy, though not until summer ends. Ive liked him on and off for months, starting before new years. Last week we got into this conversation. I explained I was thinking about getting a hair cut, but nothing drastic,

and so he he was all 'kayjayyy[jay is for jerk] but ehh dont cut it youre cute enough already[smile]'
and i exclaimed that it wouldnt matter what i did with it because its not like hed see me anyway because of my absence
and he had to be all 'whateverr' so when i asked wht was wrong he just said 'ehh nvm you dont care' and when i ensured him i DID in fact care a lot he finally said 'well i like you...your hair the way it is' and when i asked him what he meant he just said 'thats it. i like it the way it is'

And being the cheesy kid I am I changed subjects with a knockknock joke. And after a bit the talk went back to awkward for me. After asking him what was on HIS mind, he told me to tell HIM [practically] absolutely everything Ive thought about, details, details, and all. Dont skip anything.
-lalaaalala noo im avoiding conversation
-tell me everything
So I said 'im thinking about well how much i like you, your hair the way it is [smile]' I tried to say I was just copying him but eventually we both got into how we were into each other. And he posted this bulletin titled luv ya, you know who you are with TWO smilies and I already missed him

so last night would be the first night we talked since then. We were on aim, he was folding laundry, searching on youtube, probably talking to a million other people with the scenekidsocialite he is. So he was the only friend online pretty much. But he didnt say a word.
And again being the cheesy kid I am I eventually went into a knock knock joke. 'knockknock' and of course he said 'whos there' and when i said 'von'...he didnt answer. So I commented on how "youre not very good at knock knock jokes" because we failed to ask soandsowho the last time but still got a got from the punchline. And he went into caps lock 'ughh FINE VON WHO' and I was nervous already so I said 'ughhhh no one now GEEES later' and i was thinking of saying
'im sorry im annoying and youre so disappointing PEACE' AGAIN being the cheesypoetyetadorablyquaintandchildishperson HE says I always am.

But he signed off first, without saying goodbye

SO AGAIN SOOO SORRRRYYY FOR IT BEING SO LONG BUT IF YOU CANT TELL I LIKE TO WRITE "DDD
so thanks for reading, and any feedback is SOO appreciated; [ie] advice, support, the exact definition of bipolar, socialite, any words you mighta liked, your favorite music

haha. but hes moving but i cant help it. i wasnt sure if he thought we were a couple or not, and he had his details hidden, and we hadnt talked in days,
and weve got all summer to chill out.
and naturally, i was curious "/
but what now

Well, Aim can be sometime awkward because you can't see someone facial expressions, you could have misunderstood what he was trying to say and he could have misunderstood what you were trying to say. I think you should try to talk to him more face to face and i bet your conversation will be alot less heated and awkward. If it isn't , then maybe you guys really aren't into eachother. Also he isn't bipolar. He's just ornery. If he was bipolar his reactions would be much more drastic and wouldn't be that quick to change. People who are bipolar go through stages of being nasty for months or weeks, then go back to their normals selves for another couple of months or weeks. Hope it helped.

my names jessica. 14/f . people say ur first love is your last. i've been thinking about it. i really do love my first love but i dont know how to tell him this. it's reallly hard. Im kind of friends with his girlfriend. not bestfriends just like "hey, whats up" kind of friends lol. but please help me. i have no idea what to do or say!

I wouldn't say your first love is your last and i've never heard anyone say that but I do know that your first love is a really strong love. Since this guy has a girlfriend, i would hold off telling him that you love him. I would just try and get close to him in a friend way so when he and his girlfriend break up, it will be easy for him to see you as the girlfriend type and want to get closer with you in that way. You don't want to become his girlfriend's enemy so don't come on to strong to him, just let him know he has options.

I like this guy named bob(random name) and he goes to my school. He rides the same bus I do and we always like look at each other like glazing in each others eyes. My friend Aliza told him to sit next to me on the bus. So he said yes.. in an instance[[like quickly]].

Also i like this other guy named billy(another random name) but he doesnt live in my town he lives where i used to. I dont know him too well though. But we are meeting up tomorrow[[the 6th of oct.]]

So if anyone has awesome advice can you help me.. please

I think that you should hang out with both guys and get to know them better before you make a decision. You don't really seem like you know them too well. Sit with bob on the bus for a couple of days, and meet up with billy some more. I'm sure the answer will be obvious soon.

So I haven't been with my boyfriend for that long, and right now our relationship seems great everyone thinks we're really cute and perfect.
but lately, i feel really scared that he might meet someone prettier and break up with me for someone else.
how can i get my self esteem back up?

That always happens to me. You can only reassure yourself enough that he is with you for a reason, if he did like someone else, or find someone prettier then you, then he would dump you so there is no question they he likes you. You know that you are a great person, and that you have a lot of things to offer that other girls don't. I don't think you should be afraid of being dumped, because if he does dump you then hes the one loosing out and if you break up then it happened for a reason, and you should accept it then move on. My self esteem always goes down when i have a boyfriend, its only when your single that you see that you are wanted by many different guys. But all this stuff i have been talking about, doesn't matter one bit. Because you don't need approval from a guy that your great. Think of all the other things that you do well. Thats not to say that you don't need your boyfriend, i'm just saying that you shouldn't be afraid of break ups because they don't mean that much, people can go through weeks of depression becuase of break ups and you don't need to be that person. Just remember, things happen for a reason, and just because a guy might break up with you, that doesn't mean that you aren't worth it, you are, your worth everything life gives you, and some of the things it doesn't. Don't forget that, and you will be just fine.

Okay my boyfriend is in 8th grade & im in ninth so we never see each other & all his 8th grade friends hate me with a passion (there girls). when i try to talk to him after school i feel like we are so distant! like he notices me & talks to me but it doesnt last long at all & i never see him as it is. confronting this with him made it a little better but its still going on like he doesnt understand ! how can i fix the distance thing.

This may sound corny, but like plan times in the day that you can see him, try to be alone when you do this. This will make you and him less distracted so you can talk longer. Try to hang out with him after school, even if its only for a half an hour. Just try and see him as much as you can, and urge him to plan stuff too. I'm sure he'll follow your lead. If he doesn't then you have to seriously think if it 's worth it to stay with him. Good luck!

14/f

i'm a freshman and the guy i like is a junior and rides my highschool bus...he is so cute...i want to get to know him but i don't know how to without looking like a total dork...he don't even know i exist...what should i do?

One day, if he isn't sitting next to someone, ask to sit with him. Pretend you know nothing about him, first ask him his name, and then his grade. Don't show him that your intimidated by his age or looks. Keep the conversation going by asking him if he ever had the teachers you have now, you know school stuff. Keep it simple the first conversation. Build your relationship up to getting his phone number. Don't be discouraged if it takes a long time. Ask to hang out with him after you get his number and I'm sure you'll be on your way to getting to know him very well. Hopefully this helps, and good luck!

ok so i have a boyfriend and hes great but we fight A TON and like i love him so much, but he invited me over last night and i said that i would and then he ditched all of his friends to hangout with me.. i decided that i didnt really want to.. so like an hour before i was supposed to get there i told him that i couldnt go anymore becasue my mom was being mean. so like i went to a highschool football game and saw 2 guys that my boyfriend thinks that i like.. and they asked if thye could come over and me not thinking i said yeah. and they came over and my boyfriend found out.. his friends are all pissed off at me and now he is, he wont answer my texts or phone calls and i dont want to lose him but i kno hes probably going to brekaup with me but idk what to do.. please reply back fast.. i really need some good stuff to say to him

Thanks SooooOoo much

Tell him exactly what you just said. But don't be suprised when he doesn't take you back becuase you really really screwed him over. I know you feel really bad about it, but if he doesn't accept it, then try to accept you possibly not having him anymore.

16/F junior in High School

I'm usally good with guy advice, but I can't seem to figure this one out..

There is this boy I really like. Ok well I don't like him but I do. I love the feeling I get when I'm with him but when were not together we ever rarely talk, and my cell has a special ring for him when he calls/texts me and I get SO excited my stumoch drops. Though I don't want a boyfriend but I still want to hook up with him and everything I just dont know how I should feel about him. I have a CRUSH and I never ever crush or think anyones HOT and I think hes hot. If anything I think I'm only attractide to his looks, cause otherwise his personailty for girls..sucks..HE LOVES GIRLS..and I dont get jealous..but he makes me want to kill other girls. I just don't know what to do. ( a major factor might be the fact we had sex, hes the second person i did it with but i dont feel like that is a reason i think about him 25/7) I am honestly undecied about how i feel..and its freaking me out..

You don't seem like your happy with your "just friends" relationship. You might want to take it to the next level and ask him to exclusive date because then he won't flirt and do that other stuff he does with girls. You seem like you really really like him, becuase of your excitement when he talks to you.

there's this guy who has liked me for a long time, and i'm going to tell him i like him too tomorrow. what do you think his reaction will be? i want to prepared for anything.

thanks in advance!

He will most definitly ask you out, and be really happy about it. Have fun :D

my girlfriend and i ha ve been going out for almost 9 months now and the school year has just ended. i spent most of my time with her during the school year and now summers here and her friends want time in to.

i dont have a problem with her friends or if she hangs out with them but im not used to sharing her so whenever im not with her i get depressed and sad. do you think she might want to break up with me if i continue act like this??

Yes, it could be grounds for a break-up so i would suggest you hang out with some of your friends when she wants girl time. Some space will be good for the relationship. Pick up a hobby or something & just relax, its summer 8D

14/f

okay there's this guy (17/m) ive liked for a while now, and all the time he's been giving me signs that he likes me more than a friend and i got scared off and he keeps giving me signals but i dont reply because i always felt shy so i tried to keep myself from liking him..and now i heard a lot of girls asked him to prom (he didnt go with any of them and decided not to go to it) and a lot of girls are flirting with him and its NOW that i realized i do like him a lot (it's like infatuation fueled by jealousy trust me, i know how bad that sounds) and now im panicking BECAUSE WHAT IF HE DOESNT LIKE ME ANYMORE? and it's the end of the school year and i want to ask him out and that will look so ..bad, i know. omgg.

i need advice. support. SOMETHING.
and do you think he'll think bad of me for asking him out on the last day of school?

I think you should ask him out. You could also talk to him before that & say that you messed up & didn't realize you liked him until he was missing. It happens all the time. He might be over you, & you have to understand but that doesnt mean you will never have a chance to be with him again. He won't feel bad about you asking him out on the last day of school, personally i think thats a good way to kick off the summer. Good luck 8D

How many people think having a relationship with your best friend is a good thing or a bad thing?
If your friendship sparks and you know each other for 10 years or longer. Will it last or mess up your friendship?
I hear that sometimes when sex is involved it wouldn’t be the same. Is that true?

It really depends on the people, if you guys are really close and even if you broke up, you would still be friends for sure, then go for it. I dont think its a bad idea unless you know that a break-up would be messy and ruin your friendship forever. Sex will definitly make you look at him different, and he will look at you different but it can be in a good way. I would make sure your really ready to have sex with HIM before you do it.

All of the other girls I know are always just SO happy and smiling all the time no matter what, it's like nothing could ever upset them.

I, however, am always frowning and mad/depressed looking and I can't help it. I just never feel happy. I have never been truly happy and whenever I do smile it's fake unless I'm laughing at something.

And the happy little perky ones are the ones who attract the most boys. Isn't it true that men are attracted to happy women?

I want to know how to be all happy and perky and cheerful and pleasant all the time. I've tried thinking happy thoughts but it just doesn't work. I only think about things that make me pissed, because my life is filled with them, and things about myself that I hate (plenty of those too).

please just answer.

To answer your first question about guys who are attracted to happy women, would you be attracted to someone who never looks happy? There is no sure fire way for you to be "happy" all the time, its something that is sewed into your personality. To be happy most of the time, you should think about all of the good things you have in life and not focus on the bad things. Find little things you can do that makes you happy. For me, it would be cooking something, or excersizing, or cleaning something. It makes me feel productive. Once you find these things, do them when you feel down and you will be instantly happy after. Sometimes you should distract yourself so you can forget about your life & live in the moment for a while. If this doesnt work, you should see a therapist because you might be depressed. Good luck :) & smile :D!

do i get a guy that says he likes me, admit that he actully doesn't but instead is just using me?

what does "get a guy" mean, if it means go out with a guy or something along those lines, then no. He won't respect you and you won't respect yourself. He will end up dumping you & you will probably be hurt. Just don't do it.

Edit: Sorry, i didnt get it in the first place, but i do now. Try getting one of his friends that you trust to talk to him about it. He might also not be using you, so don't be disapointed if he says he really likes you.. ha ha . & sorry for the mix-up.

Mkay, I need some advice about my ex-boyfriend.
Over the course of 4 years we broke up several times and called it quits for a few years, abut 6 months ago we called me and asked me back out, i thought it over and answered yes. I was really happy at first..and so was he. Then my parents got really strict and wouldnt let me go out that much, then he started blaming my family and my friends for not being able to see me. It really hurt me. We spent an entire night on the phone working it out. One night he was at my house and we were watching the Notebook and talking, he kept telling me to kiss him to kiss him and all this, && i wouldnt because it didnt feel right, if that makes any sense at all. We worked all that out and i was really happy again. We had a big fight and broke up, we still talk about us all the time..and i feel like i love him. I know everything about him, all his deepest secrets and i think we are meant to be...I need some advice..should i just try and get over him? or should i try to get back together with him. Im so confused, i cry myself to sleep most of the time, and bust out in tears everytime i hear certain songs, and its been about three months since all this happened.

I am a thirteen year old female

You definitly still love him. I would not give up on your relationship. You guys seem like your good together. The reasons you guys broke up are not very important ones so it will just take some time to mature into eachother and stop breaking up & getting mad for stupid reasons, more him doing it than you. I get the whole "doesnt feel right" thing when he was telling you to kiss him. It just wasnt romantic with him asking you to kiss, it's supposed to just happen. He should respect what you want and not get mad. He doesnt sound very understanding, and if you love him, you should work on that with him. Try & get back together with him becuase it sounds like your miserable without him. good luck, :)

this guy used to flirt with me alot when he had a girlfriend and i was instantly drawn to him and i think he liked me too. he kept asking if i had a boyfriend and if i liked anyone. i didn't want to tell him who i liked because it was him and i was afriad things wouldn't be the same between us if i did. was he trying to ask me to be his girlfriend? anyway we were good friends for a while but now we don't talk at all because he doesn't like me or anyone else that goes to my school and he ignores me when i try to talk to him. what do i do should i not try to talk to him anymore and wait till he talks to me first or should i just ignore him completley even when he does try to talk to me?

I hate boys like that, like you one day, then ignore you the next. When he had a girlfriend, and he was asking you who you liked & if you had a boyfriend he probably liked you or was interested in you, but he wasnt asking you out. I think you should stop trying to talk to him until he comes to his senses and starts up a conversation with you, and if he does, talk to him back.

Well i met this guy in school!!! he's in the 11th grade and im in the 10th grade!!! i started talking to him as he started talkin to me!!! everything was cool when i found out that i liked him because i felt jealous when he was around girls and wen he did other things!!! i also go tso mad that i even didnt speak to him like only for 2 to 4 dayz!!! and then i wan tto tell him that i like him so much that i dont even know what it is right now..if it's love or like!!! and i feel sad partly because i am not talkin to him still but he be stockin me and watchin me from far away because he kcks it in front of me for lunch!!! but im stuck because i dont know what to do and i need help!! im also scared because i dont want to make a mistake like if i tell him i like him and he dont like me..he can stop talkin to me when i wouldnt like dat!!! and in another part im scared because like im really like him..im scare dhe can break my heart and just play me!!because i do suffer alot because boys just play me all times bt this one like looks different cause hes more serious and like kinda like a shy person and you noe!!lolz butyea..so please ..can ya help me out!!im scared of losin him as friends and all types of ways and confused!!! thanks marina!!!

1) Don't get mad at him for talking to other girls & hanging out with them becuase he has no reason that he can't.
2) If you say this guy is different from all the others and that he wouldnt play you, then he most likely won't. If your judgement is good, you are probably right about him.
3) You should tell him you like him, I bet he likes you too. Bring it up casually and ask him to hang out, then while your hanging out make a move on him or at least talk to him about who he likes. If you make it casual, and not a big deal I'm sure you will still be friends with him even if he rejects you. Good luck :)

I've been going out with my boyfriend for 4 years, give or take. We broke up a couple of times, longest being last year for 3 months. I broke up with him because I wasn't happy, as I felt he was being too clingy and I love my independence and space. Also, I was extremely attracted to someone else. After 3 months of constant drinking, and him being extremely devastated we got back together. A year on, he has really made the effort, and is less clingy, ie. lets me go out with my friends, and do things on my own without having to ask his permission. Thing is, a year on I think I still have strong feelings for that other guy, and I'm not sure if I'm still attracted to my boyfriend. We don't make love on a regular basis, because I'm never in the humour, and he's got a lot of silly little habits which are starting to drive me insane and they shouldn't. I feel frustrated and stressed when I'm with him, and sometimes relieved to be on my own. At the same time, I love him to bits as a best friend, and I don't want to lose that. I don't know what I should do. I'm so eternally confused by the whole thing. 4 years is a long time, and I don't want to throw it away on a whim. I'm 23 years old, and don't think I'm ready for this type of commitment. Please help me, I would love some good advice for this situation. Please!

You definitly need to sit down and talk with your boyfriend. Ask him where the relationship is going and see if you really want to be in for the long haul. I think you guys should take a break from eachother. Your getting so tired of him that you are irritated at him for very small things, and thats not fair to him either. while your taking your break you really have to access if you like being on a break or you want to get back toghether with him. Make sure you still talk to him though, so you can see if just being his friend is just as satisfing. Good luck :)

ok well u say to get to know him...i talked to him almost every nite on aim for 2 hours about random stuff and we laugh and watch tv together...hes like the best friend that is a guy ive ever had...he tends to like be "flirtatious" with girls alot even if hes just friends with him.....i cant tell if what he does with me is true or just him being himself(he puts his arm around me and talks, tells me all eve ngirls he likes or if he is weird, i played chiken with him and he asked me...he grabbed my feet in the pool and pulled me towards him and he was like walking on my feet afterschool--weird huh? i really like him and im afraid to break up with my bf because ive never done it before i dont kno what to do and im nto sure if i shud just say J things have been slightly weird do you like me...what to do??

I think you just casually ask him who he likes, if he's tight with you and its not you he'll tell you who it is. If he won't tell you, thats probably a sign that it might be you, or he just doesnt want to tell you. If it's not you, or he says he doesnt like you, you should stay with your boyfriend. If he does like you, and you like him more than your boyfriend, you should dump your boyfriend and go out with him. Always follow your heart :) hopefully you get this situation figured out.

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