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Not sure if I'm still attracted to my boyfriend.. confused!
I've been going out with my boyfriend for 4 years, give or take. We broke up a couple of times, longest being last year for 3 months. I broke up with him because I wasn't happy, as I felt he was being too clingy and I love my independence and space. Also, I was extremely attracted to someone else. After 3 months of constant drinking, and him being extremely devastated we got back together. A year on, he has really made the effort, and is less clingy, ie. lets me go out with my friends, and do things on my own without having to ask his permission. Thing is, a year on I think I still have strong feelings for that other guy, and I'm not sure if I'm still attracted to my boyfriend. We don't make love on a regular basis, because I'm never in the humour, and he's got a lot of silly little habits which are starting to drive me insane and they shouldn't. I feel frustrated and stressed when I'm with him, and sometimes relieved to be on my own. At the same time, I love him to bits as a best friend, and I don't want to lose that. I don't know what I should do. I'm so eternally confused by the whole thing. 4 years is a long time, and I don't want to throw it away on a whim. I'm 23 years old, and don't think I'm ready for this type of commitment. Please help me, I would love some good advice for this situation. Please!
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Yes your right 4 years is a very long time, I can understand you still wanting his friendship, but I can see being 23 that is very hard to be in a serious relationship. I would stay with him for a few more days, don't do anything right away, then if you really can't stand it, break up with him.. I'm not going to give you any speeches to tell him because I'm sure your already familar with the regular breakup lines. But honestly if you stay with him, things will only get worse, and then you might not ever have the opportunity to be friends. I know that sounds harsh, but it will be better I promise. Your 23 and its completely ok not to want to stay in a long term relationship. People do change, and maybe your just changing away from him which is very normal. If he's a mature guy, and he loves you he will understand. Maybe not at first but eventually he will want what you want. I wish you the best of luck! :) I know this extremely tough but things will get better I promise! :)
M
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If I were in your situation I would break up with him. Even though you have been with him for 4 years. And the little things that are bugging you about him, that is a sign telling you that you need to end it. If you do choose to break up with him, yes, it will be hard but he should understand. You are only 23 years old you have a whole life to live. You need to see what else is out there because who knows you might find someone better. If you really do love eachother, your hearts will find a way back to eachother.
I hope I helped.
♥ Stacey
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Your boyfriend seems wonderful,But I think It's time to move on.You can't keep forcing yourself to be with him.Even if you were with him so long.If you keep holding on, chances are you will ruin your relationship and your future.I don't think it's fair to your current boyfriend to be second guessing things and having other feelings for another guy.I imagine that would be hard for you to do,But you got to do what you got to do..that's all there is to it.If you break up in a respectful and nice way.I'm sure you'll end on good terms with him.Just be understandable and what not.This guy you have strong feelings for could be waiting for you.. and you could build up good chemistry.You just have to give the guy a chance.Find other men.Don't tie yourself down right now.Your still finding out what you want right now.Well hope everything works out.Hope I helpedd! :]
<3 L a c e y
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the best thing to do is talk to him about how you are feeling. i remember i had a boyfriend once and he was really clingy so i started to be less attracted to him. i didnt feel a desire to be near him anymore and i made a horrible mistake. i broke up with him in the meanest way possible and we hated eachother for months after. if you dont want to be with him then you need to tell him before it gets out of control and you end up saying things you dont mean. its the best for the two of you and im sure you can still be friends. my ex and i got over it and now were best friends. i know he probably does mean a lot to you but just isnt the right guy for you. so talk to him and explain everything. im sure he'll understand.
SAM
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You definitly need to sit down and talk with your boyfriend. Ask him where the relationship is going and see if you really want to be in for the long haul. I think you guys should take a break from eachother. Your getting so tired of him that you are irritated at him for very small things, and thats not fair to him either. while your taking your break you really have to access if you like being on a break or you want to get back toghether with him. Make sure you still talk to him though, so you can see if just being his friend is just as satisfing. Good luck :)
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