Hi
Im melissa and im 16 living in Illinois. I'm very good at advice and i will try my best to help you as much as i can! I will give you advice that i think is right and appropriate. I will answer any question of any category.(: Thanks.
if your having so much trouble that you want to talk immediately i will give you my AIM, just ask! :)
Gender: Female
Location: Illinois
Age: 16
Member Since: June 30, 2011
Answers: 120
Last Update: January 20, 2013
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My husband and I do not get along anymore.
We fell into our relationship very fast and we weren't careful about it. I got pregnant after 5 months together and he was pretty resentful for a while. Our daughter is 5 now and he doesn't seem to carry that resentment anymore.
That resentment led to my resenting him for his behaviour. He would party and not let me know where he was for a good year or so after I got pregnant, but he grew out of that, thankfully. Still left a me bitter though, like he was trying to hurt me disappearing for hours without a word. I still can't tell what he was up to but he would come home intoxicated.. Eventually.
Now we're in a better place than that, but I feel like he is overpowering, and I'm not the type to take that ever. For example, if I give my opinion on a subject that would turn into an arguement if my opinion was different than his. It's like he always has to be right, even when it's not about being right or wrong - it's just a discussion.
We argue over the littlest things and it turns into something huge. We basically have no patience for each other anymore and were always on the defensive. I get so irritated with him it's hard to handle. He's insecure, overbearing, arguementative, but he's also considerate(mostly),a good father, and a loving husband.
The other thing is that I had an emotional affair with a coworker, and I don't think he will ever get over it. It started out as the two of us just talking because we were having the same problems with our significant others, and turned into us havin feeling for each other. It was actually nice to talk to someone who I tought cared what I thought and listened to me rather than talk over me or not talk to me at all (I swear video games are a ruination for good men - they loose themselves in games and forget they actually have people who depend I then being there).
Obviously my husband and I both have our issues, but we don't seem to be getting anywhere. Everyday seems to blend together in petty arguements and silence.
What can I do to make this better!!?? I do love him but my patience is at a breaking point and I don't know what to do! (link)
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i seen that the last person wrote for your husband & you should go to counseling but i dont think so because people are who they are. they will not change. i know that from experience. your going to spend all that money for a person to talk to you guys which it might work for about a month & then it will be back to the same thing.
in my opinion, you guys should seriously talk about what you want to do with your lives. talk to him & tell him how you feel & if it doesnt change, YOU have to do something about it. do what's best for your daughter & you. in my opinion that's not a real husband.
maybe consider a divorce? but im definitely not telling you what to do, thats just what would be going through my head. & if you bring that up to him maybe it will open his eyes & realize what he has brought his life & family to.
and your prob thinking you dont want your daughter growing up without her dad, but no matter what he will always be her dad. it's his decision to want to see her & do something with her.
BUT if you do find someone else that treats your daughter & you happier than that guy would be more of a dad than your husband. a dad is a guy who is there for his daughter no matter what. therefore your husband doesnt seem like a dad he's just the biological dad.
see how it goes, talk to him. dont rush ANYTHING a divorce or getting a new guy. if you are looking for a new guy, give it a while until you move in with him or ANYTHING!!
& you can't be unhappy for the rest of your life & just deal with it. life is short. make it the best. live each day as if it were your last. have fun! but think think & think some more before you act!:)
i hope i helped. i wasnt telling you what to do, just what i would do or though!:)
if you have any questions or comments message me:)
melissa!
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we have been together for 4 years and i love him so much, but i just don't know what to talk about when he calls me. a lot of the time he is ill when he calls and it seems like no matter what i say, he tries to make me look dumb or that i don't love him. also, he always thinks that i am cheating on him and will call me a whore...but i am not cheating on him nor do i talk to any other guys. so please give me some things to talk about with him. i am a 18 year old girl and he is 19. (link)
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in my opinion if he's is disrespecting you & calling you a whore and accusing you of cheating on him, i would rethink everything about being with him. you should not be treated like that or called that... no girl should. that's not right! talk to him and tell him the truth. tell him something has been bugging you and tell him you guys have dated for 4 years and he's the best thing that came into your life (if that's true) and tell him there is no reason for you to cheat. and if he does accuse you of cheating play along but MAKE SURE you do it in a jokingly matter and laugh, say something like " yeah your right, so i met this one guy named bob, he said he knows you" or whatever you bf name is say yeah i met this one guy and he's "blah blah blah" and name all the things your bf is and say the name of your bf haha and be cute about it or something!
well i hope i helped! good luck. if you have any questions, just message me!
melissa! :)
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Hi.I am 17 yrs old girl.I am from India. I had read that you shouldn't phone your bf more than twice a day as it will make him thinking about me and he'll wonder when i'll call him. I had tried it once but instead he was so angry with me that he didn't speak to me for 2 long days!! what can i do??? please advice me!!! I want attention from him (link)
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totally agree with ginger
the best way to get someones attention is to stop giving them yours!:)
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i am dating a guy but my ex wants me back and i love both but i don't want to hurt any feelings i don't know what to do! (link)
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well in my opinion if everything is going well with your boyfriend right now, then stay with him. the other guy was your ex for a reason!
i hope i helped! good luck, if you have any questions just message me!
melissa! :)
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Ok so from November-March I dated this guy named Brendan, he was my first boyfriend ever and he is really sweet and funny and a gentleman and so nice and cute and he is practically like the total package. I broke up with him in March and decided I just wanted to be friends. A week later, this guy named Ryan asked me out and I said yes because Im nice and I dont want to reject people because I know what it feels like to be rejected so I didnt wanna make him feel bad. He was kind of the player-ish type and all my friends hate him, and told me that he would only hurt me. I didnt believe my friends when I should've. I broke up with him after he started flirting and cheating on me with other girls. He thinks we're still friends like me and Brendan though =/ Brendan and I reccently started talking more and I think I might like him again, I broke his heart though and I dont want to fall for him and have him break mine. Im scared to talk to him now... =/ I already created a bad reputation by dating Ryan... Help? I want to be his friend but I think Im falling for him again. (link)
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well first off when someone asks you out i wouldnt just say yes to say yes because you might get a repuation of being desperate and all your doing is making him think you like him, when your just doing it because you feel bad.
and with your ex situation, i wouldn't start anything if i were you, but if he wants to i would totally go for it. don't text him, have him text or call you and ask to hang out. and don't be flirty unless he is to you then be flirty but a little less than him. you don't want to show him your starting to like him again because he may not want to have anything to do with you at the moment.
when you guys are talking laugh and smile, and do cute half smiles and if he teases you or something and says "i know you like me" or something like that, make it into a joke and say something like "how did you know" and smile and shake your head and role your eyes cutely or something.
don't be to straight forward and let him make the first move because you broke his heart! let him come to you now.
and if he texts you dont be like "omg hey whats up
? what you doing? why arent you answering me? okay cool ignore me, thats fine" beaucse your going to annoy him, if he texts you (dont text him have him text you ) and in the middle of the convo he doesnt answer DONT send another text message beacuse that will show you care to much, and if you really want him to answer say something jokingly like "did you forget about me :( " or something like that aha
well i hope i helped! good luck, if you have any more questions just message me! :)
melissa
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So I have worked things out with my boyfriend after a terrible situation we both went through,I wanted so much to sort things out with him once again so we had a second chance,but now that everything seems to be right again,I feel like I'm not that happy anymore with him and just think that it'd be best if we just finished our relationship,help?I just don't know what to do since I know this is not quite normal. (link)
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it's your life! you need to be happy and so does he. if you don't think it's working anymore then talk to him and be completely honest & see what he has to say, if he truly cares wait it out & if it goes back to normal then just say you have to end it because it's not working and if he doesnt care at all dont scream & shout and everything because your going to make everything worse just say something simple like "well i guess this is it" and smile at him hug him and just leave and don't go back. if you do something like that he will think about what he has done but if you just scream and yell and call him names (like most of us girls do haha) he's going to be glad you too are done with and prob think your weird loll
just be honest & see how everything goes and be calm
the best way to get someones attention is to stop giving them yours! :)
well i hope i helped, good luck, hope everything goes well
if you have any questions or anything just message me
melissa! :)
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I've been told that this guy I was talking to has started to see my sister behind my back. of course she denied it. He and I haven't really spoken to each other lately. She has bit of a pattern of doing this, but if it's real and she loves this guy it will hurt as he was my high school sweetheart. How do I handle this situation in a way I dont look crazy and can be the bigger person, but cut ties with her at the same time? I don't want to look bitter. It's just that she was the one I cried to about him and everything and so if she can't stop repeating this behavior whos to say she wont go for the next guy? It's not just her fault but he's no longer in my life nor do I care to ever speak to him again. (link)
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well what i would do is STOP telling your sister about the guys that your talking to or hanging out with.
what i would do is when she tells you something about him just smile and be like "really, wow thats great!" and dont think about it and drive yourself crazy about it! who cares? its some guy! you will probably find a better guy that loves you for you!.
just let it go and forget about it, when your sister is telling you something about it, dont get mad and start yelling because its just going to make you look bad.
if you have to, pretend everything is okay. (and try to start acting and really think it is)
and when your sister wants advice, i would give it to her, the right advice though, be the cooler sister, because obviously shes not. help her with her relationship as much as possible. karma comes around.
and when you start doing this and are nice to her, she might not realize it right away, but down the road i guarentee she's going to know that she made herself look like an idiot and she was the bitter one. she will realize it and know it's wrong, whether she keeps it to herself or comfronts you about it
but always remember, never trust your sister about things like that again.
i hope i helped & good luck. if you have any more questions just message me!
melissa! :)
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Hi.I am 17 yrs old girl.I am from India. I had read that you shouldn't phone your bf more than twice a day as it will make him thinking about me and he'll wonder when i'll call him. I had tried it once but instead he was so angry with me that he didn't speak to me for 2 long days!! what can i do??? please advice me!!! I want attention from him (link)
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Hi :)
well in my opinion you should phone your boyfriend whenever you feel like it.
if he really loves you and cares about you, he won't get mad at you for calling whenever you want, just to say hi, but don't annoy him tooo much! haha
and he might be mad at you because he's having a bad day, & most guys don't like talking on the phone or texting like girls do, so keep that in mind (their weird haha)
sometimes the best way of getting someones attention, is to stop giving them yours.
i hope i helped, if you have any more questions message me!
melissa! :)
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Well, my crush is one of my good friends. I really think he likes me back, and all of his friends that are my friends think so too. But he had a crush on one of my friends, and he still sort of does. He also jokingly accused me of liking him. I'm afraid it's going to be awkward, what should I do? (link)
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don't make it awkward! that's the worst thing you can do! if he accuses you of liking him & is joking around, then go along with it, play along. jokingly say "yeah your right i do" and kinda role your eyes and smile and kinda shake your head. you don't want to be like "" no i don't, what are you talking about" because he's going to think wow she can't take a joke, or wow she got really insecure about that. so what i would do, is whatever he says, (even if he's right on what he's saying, like you like him) just play along with it and joke around.
do that for everything, not even for this. if someone is laughing and and making fun of you then do the same thing back and laugh and make fun of them, just go along with it! the worse thing you can do is make it awkward and get mad at it.
i hope i helped. good luck! if you have any more questions or anything, just ask!
melissa :)
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13/f
so im in spanish class with this cute boy, and he is always complamenting me, once when i said a girl in a magazine is kinda pretty(not a lesbian just my opinion) he just laughed and said that i was prettier than her. he walks me to class sometimes and now im always looking forward to seeing him everyday. a few days ago i heard that he broke up with his gf, and his friend said he did it so he could ask me out. its been about 5 days and now im noticing that he is looking down my shirt, what should i do about that anyway?
do you people thinks that he likes me or am i just imagining it?
any advise is very thankful!! :) (link)
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well to me it seems like he likes you, but he wants to get in your pants (and i dont think you want that, especially being that young) DON'T put yourself in a situation that you can't get yourself out! and if he asks you to go to his place DON'T go, it might sound like fun but you never know what he's going to do and what if no one is home and he's doing something you don't like... then what? think before you do things loll! :) not saying you don't but just saying haha
if i were in this situation i would start wearing t-shirts, that cover everything & don't show your boobs & see if he still talks to you, if he doesn't you know what he wanted & if he does, then try it out! it doesnt hurt to try! :)
i hope i helped, if you have any questions message me!
melissa! :)
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I feel so lame for seeking out advice on something like this at the age of 20, but I don't know where else to turn. My family friends have this cousin who I am completely and utterly in love with, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know if he would ever bother giving me a chance, or if I'm wasting my time because he is so close with my brother that he would never want to screw up their relationship. It's literally to the point where I can't even date anyone else because he's all I think about and I don't want him thinking that I want anyone else. Help! (link)
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it's okay if your 20! were here to help people all ages!:)
you never know until you try! your a person, he's a person! you never know, he can be the nervous one liking you but he's to shy to say anything. but maybe he doesnt like you... but you can make him! hang out with him. maybe you & your brother and the guy all hang out and do something, laugh and tell jokes and be funny. but dont be to shy because he might not notice you. be cool about it all. what's the worse that can happen? become friends with him first and take it step by step, you don't want to be to up front with it because you might scare him away!
you will be totally fine. just pretend like he's one of your friends. and the most important thing to do is act yourself, don't act or pretend to be someone your not just for him to like you. don't lie and DON'T tell him you love him, he will probably be confused and think your weird (haha) :)
i hope i helped, if you have any questions just message me! :)
melissa.
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Okay so this year I became really good friends with my friend and we had a class together and all but it was only for the first part of the year. For about 4 whole months we talked a lot on text/chat and the last two months we have talked basically every day from the moment we get back from school until one of us goes to sleep. We have become very good friends and I throughout this whole thing I started to notice that I actually have a thing for him. The problem is that I'm going to college next year and he is staying because he is a year younger.
My friend actually asked him if he had a thing for me and it turns out that he does. She told him to just enjoy the time and have fun since I only have two weeks left.
I am actually so devastated that I am leaving. I think about it all the time and I can't get him off my mind... I never thought it would come to this.
I barely see him at school though, and I see him some weekends if there is an event going on but we don't hangout just the two of us.
But we have many inside jokes and we talk for hours and when we see each other it feels nice.
I leave so soon and I don't know what I should do... should I tell him something? Confess somehow or what? I really wish he could invite me to hangout or something that would be so amazing and perfect. Im dreading the day I have to say goodbye to him. We are going to be thousands of miles away and I have no clue when I will see him again. All I know is that we will be friends for a long time.
I just need help with how to handle this situation and how to get over someone I never went out with.
Thank you :) (link)
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if i were in this situation, i would try to have as much fun with him as possible, but not to much fun ( if that makes sense) you don't want to have so much fun and hang out with him 24/7 because then when he leaves your going to feel even worse. and it's not like your never going to be able to talk to him or see him again! you can always visit or he can visit you and you guys can text and talk on the phone and webcam.
you guys can ALWAYS be friends, but i was in this same situation but the guy was leaving for college and my dad told me not to get to caught up in him because once he leaves im going to miss him like crazy and even if we were to have something big once he left for college he's going to find another girl. no one really waits for anyone. it goes both ways, you can find another guy in college and he can find another girl.
i'm not bringing your hopes down because no one never knows what can happen,!
just think both ways!
have fun though, im not saying don't but dont have to muchh!:)
i hope this helped, if you have any more questions or anything message me! :)
melissa
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So I noticed this girl in my class that was pretty cute but I didn't talk to her at all for about 2 months. but as the semester went by I really didnt talk to to her until one day as I was heading to class she noticed me and asked me if I i was in her class and as we walked to class i made her laugh a couple of times than the next week i sat next to her and we talked more for the next couple of weeks I couldnt stop thinking about her and I couldnt wait to see her in class. I asked her if she wanted to exchange numbers and she gave it to me without hesitation but what was bizarre is that she only got my number i asked if she wanted mine but she said just text me and say its you. So I texted her and she texted right back and we talked but one day i asked her out to lunch she said that she couldn't because she had work so than a week later i asked her out to lunch and she said she couldn't because she had a final that day and would be out of town next week but she will let me know when shes back. So i text her again a week later asking her if she wanted to go out to lunch and go the movies after but she didnt text me back and its been more than a week so I dont know if i should wait for her to text me back or should I call or text her? Everytime i saw her in the campus she would smile and would be very happy to see me and one day i saw her going to her car and some dude was talking to her and when she saw me she completely ignored the guy talking to her and she smiled at me and said hey my friend who was with me that day whose good with relationships told me that he can tell that she likes me so i just wanted to add that and I want to text her but she said that she would let me know when shes back and she has the iphone 4 so when i texted her it was through imessage and said the text was delivered so she probably saw it. I texted her a couple of days ago and again she didnt text back the imessage was off though. but if anyone can help me that would be awesome! (link)
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i wouldn't get myself to freaked out about this situation. it seems like this girl likes you (from ignoring the guy she was with) but i would lay off a bit. i wouldn't text her at all. you don't want to annoy her because when you annoy girls they tend to drift apart from you and forget about you. if she said she will text you then wait a bit. if a month or a long time passes by and she hasn't texted then you should text her and say something cute like "did you forget about me :( " or "hey beautiful" or something, but don't go to fast! become friends with her first, then ask her out! girls can be shy as well. she can be really busy doing something (that's what it seems like from not texting your friend as well) or she can be really really shy and doesnt want to mess anything up so she's waiting awhile.
sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is to stop giving them yours!
i hope i helped, if you have any questions let me know! :)
melissa.
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i need a cute nick name for my love he is funny fat and so loving he always happy (link)
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chubby cheeks? haha
umm well whats his name?
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loved that quote :) and thanks .. i guess thats what im going to do because i really love him. & i just dont want to let go of him for something like that. (link)
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good! :) and good luck! :)
if you have any questions just ask!
melissa.!
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So my boyfriend went out of town a few weeks ago and promised he'd kiss me when he got back and that sorta didn't happen we both got nervous and he kinda kissed me right above my lip... so anyway he's gone again and I had been so mad that I didn't go for the kiss the last time so I promised I would kiss him on our next date which is in a week. I'm terrified! I really want to kiss him because I love him but I'm just so nervous about how to bring it up and when to actually do it on our date. This is my first kiss and his also so I have no idea what to do.
14/f (link)
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in my opinoin if your this nervouss then i don't think your ready. when you kiss someone it just happenes, it's not planned because when it is, it just doesn't turn out righht.
good luck, hope i helped :)
melisssa.!
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hey :) I'm sorry if this is too long. I just need some advice. Thanks.
I hadn't seen my boyfriend since last Sunday. He told me to go to his house today and i went. I went at 6pm. we stayed there having a good time. Then his friend came over. After an hour passed his friend said he had to go to the park to be with his friends which are girls too. My boyfriend told me he was going to walk me so he told his friend to go with him. I felt very disappointed at this because i went to be with him but he decided to go to the park and just stay stay with his friends. When they were walking me my boyfriend friend turned in a street and he called him and told him to walk me to my house because he was going to the park with him too. I really don't know what to think. He pulled me over and he asked why am i mad, i told him i was okay. He said he wanted to be cool with me not arguing then he asked for a kiss and whatever i gave it to him and then left to my friends house because at least she had time for me. I really love him but i don't know what to do :( I'm just disappointed. (link)
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it may be that he's just shy to be only around you. try to talk to him and tell him how you really feel... because if you don't he's not going to know... but a true boyfriend that really cares would know that somethings wrong and would fix it and know whats bothering you.
well if i was in your situation i would try to stop texting and calling him and communicating with him and see if he text or calls you because if he wanted to talk to you then he would.
"sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is to stop giving them yours"
i hope i helped and good luck!
if you have any questions about anything just ask!(:
MELISSAA!(:
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well i broke up with this guy for another guy that i had liked for 2 yrs and now i feel like i messed it up the one guys name is caleb and i really really like him but i think he hates me now i was textn him the other day and tld him how i felt about the sittuation n he was like well ive been through it and itll get better trust me and i dont think it will i think i just lost the guy im inlove with can someone please help me asap ..
~alysaaaa (link)
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well if you broke up with him then just leave it at that. if he really loves you and cares for you, he will come back to you!
but if he doesn't (but dont expect to happen over night) maybe a little while later (not to long) twll him everything and tell him you made a big mistake and you were thinking about all the good times you guys had and you were never as happy befor you met him! just talk to him, what is the worst that can happen, he says he's over you?
i hope that's not the case, but if it is, it will hurt for awhile BUT guys aren't the only thing in the world! you have the rest of your life with more exciting things then just that!
"You are afraid and hurt and you dont know what to do. You feel empty and alone, like the whole world has just ended. You have a hole in your heart one that feels like it can never be repaired, but just know that in time that hole will be gone. Getting your heart broken is like getting a deep cut. It hurts really bad, and no matter what you do you cant stop thinking about it because you know its there and its hurting, but with a few stitches and a little tlc (friends and family helping you through) and some antibiotic ointment (ice cream) soon that cut will only be a scar (a memory) it will always be there but it wont hurt anymore"
hope i helped and i hope everything works out!(:
if you have any questions just ask!(:
melissa!(:
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well today i was talkn to my boyfriend on fb and he sent me a link .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwD0xJrmtSM your a bitch by bowling for soup he posted it on my wall and i dont get it so i think he was calling me a bitch and that reallly upset me i wanted to go off but i waited 3yrs for him and i really dont anna mess this up ..what can i do to make this better? (link)
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get him back and send him a song! just laugh it off and maybe be like "im sorry baby am i really bitch?" or joke around and say "damn i turned this way ever since i met you, maybe im turning into you." haha or something like that. if you guys really like each other don't get mad and start a fight because if it's a joke he will be like "wow she can;t take a joke." but if you do think your acting like that and you know it, try to change it! and to the post maybe comment it with a heart or a :p
hope i helped, good luck!
ohhh and something else you can say:
"Bitch"
"A bitch is a female dog.
dogs bark.
bark is on trees.
trees are in nature
and nature is beautiful,
so thanks for the compliment
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My fiance will be leaving for Navy bootcamp in a little over a month. By the time he leaves we'll be married. But all I think about is how much I'm going to miss him. I know I should think about spending as much time as possible together but I'm a planner type of person. It gets to a point where I'm just really depressed. I don't know if you call it depression or not but he's not even gone yet and I'm already freaking out about it. I just want to know what I can do to fix this. I don't want to have to take any anti-depression pills so that's out of the question. I just don't know what to do. Thanks! (link)
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well if you think about it... he's doing a VERY good thing! and yeah your going to worry about your husband and stuff but don't drive yourself crazy because if you do, your never going to be happy, all your going to be doing is worrying. at least not worry now that he's here and when he does leave, think positive about everything! pray at night! and i know it's going to be hard but try not to think about it, go out with friends, have a party, shop, go to the pool, go on a little vacation or something.
i know it's going to be hard but you cant do it!
good luck and i hope i helped!(:
if you have any questions askk!
melisssa.!(:
and before he leaves maybe go to dinner or maybe you to go on a little vacation... but don't do all of this becuase you think somethings going to happen to him, do it because you want to!(:
i hope everything goes well for you and your husband! and you don't need depression pills, it's all in your head!
my step mom always used to say "when you get up on the morning and think im going to have a good day today, then you will. but if you say im going to have a horrible day, you will." i've tried thinking both ways and they work haha!"
think about the positive side.
if there is a cup half of water... do you think of the glass half full, or half empty.?
melissa!(:
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