There isn't much to say about me. I like to give advice just as much as I like to get it. I think when you are in a situation it is much harder to see an obvious answer than if you are not in the situation.
Gender: Female
Occupation: student
Age: 15
Member Since: May 27, 2005
Answers: 254
Last Update: July 17, 2009
Visitors: 21741
Main Categories:
Fashion and Styles
Love Life
Friendship
View All
Favorite Columnists
deathwillcome
Chicken_flavored_eggs
Teen_Guru
|
| |
I'm 19 years old. I grew up with a very stable life. My parents are happily married, always have been. I'm close with both of them. They spoil me, care about me, and love me more than anything. I'm from a upper middle class family, pretty, smart and have a lot going for me.
The thing is, alot of guys have realized that and I have had attention from them ever since middle school. I lost my virginity at 14 and loved sex ever since. I refuse to count the number of guys I have slept with but I'm sure it is well over 30.
This is my deapest darkest secret and lately it has been eating away at me. nobody knows about this and I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know why I've slept with so many people...it just, happened and felt right at the time.
I want to know what is wrong with me or at least how I can get over this shame. I can't tell my boyfriend, my best friends. I've been tested so I don't have stds...but knowing that over 30 guys can go around saying they have had sex with me just kills me.
why would a stable girl be such a whore? how do I get over this?
help. (link)
|
I think the last person's answer was great. I just want to stress that instead of thinking about all of your experiences in sum, as a number, think of them individually. You say they felt right at the time, so why should you make yourself feel guilty about something that was well intentioned?
Would limiting the growth of your number help you to feel better about yourself? You have a boyfriend now, so there is no need for you to raise your number much higher. You can try to only have sex with serious boyfriends (and that may mean that you wait a little while when you first start dating someone before you have sex with him).
Also, try to remember that all those guys are in the past. You are in a new moment now and what has already happened doesn't matter. You can be whoever you want to be.
|
what is a hj?
and what does prude mean? (link)
|
The two other people who answered covered the topic of hand job well.
I would say that prude is typically used to describe someone who is not sexually experienced. Sometimes used to describe someone who is afraid of gaining sexual experience. Comes from the word "prudent."
Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something by calling you a prude.
|
|
I just want your opinions on this. How big could the age difference be in teen years. Say like a 14 year old girl how much older would your opinion for her to date? I just want to see what your opinions are. Thanks! (link)
| |
I have always tried to stick by the "half your age plus seven" rule. to me, it seems to make sense. this formula is for the youngest age that someone can date. so, according to the formula, the youngest age you could date would be 14, your own age. however, if you were to date someone older, i would advise you to date someone 15-16, but no older. just date someone that you are comfortable with and who you don't think would pressure you to do things you aren't ready for.
|
Ok so this is going to sound weird, but it was an expirament.. I made a fake myspace with a drop dead gorgous girl. I added kids in my town and made up some story about me possibly moving there. Well I did this to see what guys want in girls. Well, I act the EXACT same way to them. Like I talk the same way and everything. No denying this girl in muchh more beautiful, by the way. Yet the boys I can't even get to talk to me, are like obsessed with "Jen" who's really me.. So in a way they really like me, just do not know it.
My question here is, why do boys base it all on looks? Honestly, if I looked like her I would no doubt have a boyfriend and be happier with life. Yet I'm the same way both peopleee. Uggggh, I don't know what to like think. I want to so badly leave my town so I can get a fresh start, cause now I know all guys care about is looks.
Is that true? Is that all guys want. A girl with looks? (link)
|
Some immature guys may be only concerned with looks, but that only means that these guys aren't ready for a real relationship and aren't worth your time.
When they mature, they will realize that there are far more important things. Physical appearance is important when it comes to initial attraction, but there needs to be something more if the attraction is ever going to last.
That being said, the boys you talked to very may have been attracted to the picture and, consequently, may have been more open to talking with "Jen" and getting to know her. Fortunately for "Jen," she had a person of substance able to back up her good looks and make her worth their time.
Another thing to consider is that it may not be that you aren't "pretty enough." These boys have probably been seeing you around for a while. "Jen" was someone new and exciting because they didn't know her yet and she gave them a good reason to talk to her...she was the new girl. By talking through her, you might have even had some extra confidence since your identity was hidden under the identity of a beautiful girl. Did you find yourself initiating conversation with boys you normally wouldn't start conversation with?
Don't give up hope. When these guys mature to be worth your time, they'll be open to getting to know the real you. In the meantime, don't be afraid to show them who you are. You might be surprised with what might happen if you start to even just pretend to have the same confidence as Jen. Fake it 'til you make it if you have to. The rest is sure to follow.
|
|
I'm 15 (a sophomore in HS), and I have never really dated anyone. It's not that i don't like guys (i'm a girl if you couldn't tell), because i have in the past, but they just never seem into me. I mean i don't think I'm ugly or anything of that sort, and i have guy friends, so i'm not socially awkward. Am i being very paranoid, or is this common (or both?)? (link)
|
I had my first real boyfriend (by real, I mean it wasn't a stupid middle school relationship where we just talked online and sat next to each other at lunch and broke up after a month) when I was 14, a freshman in high school.
One of my friends had her first boyfriend when she was 18.
A few of my friends are 19 and still have never had boyfriends.
It's different for everyone. It's nice to feel close to someone and experience dating, but wouldn't it be better to wait for someone worth your time than to rush yourself to be with any willing and good enough guy?
And as weird as it sounds, the relationships you find when you are not looking are usually better than the ones you searched for.
|
|
this might end up being kinda long... anyway, my boyfriend and i have been going out for about 4 months and about a week ago i saw a picture with him and this girl on facebook and someone left a comment saying something about her making her move or something anyway... the other day him and i were hanging out at this place he usually goes with with his friends and he was calling some of them to see if they could come hang out with us, and he called the girl from the picture, if something was going on between them would he have wanted her to come hang out with both of us? or would he want to hide her more or whatever so i wouldn't get suspicious about anything? anyway, if anyone has any advice let me know.. thanks :) (link)
|
Try bringing up your discomfort around her. He may consider her just another person in his group of friends. That comment may have been a joke, or it may be that she is interested in him. If you have a healthy relationship, chances are he'll explain everything to you as long as you ask him in a way that doesn't sound like you are attacking him.
I went through a similar situation where there were two girls posting flirty comments on my boyfriend's wall. I asked him about it and he told me that they both had wanted to hook up with him the previous year, but he had refused both of them because he liked me (we weren't dating at the time). I've gotten to know one of them and we really get along, but I'm still a little uncomfortable with the other. Now because he knows I am uncomfortable, he talks to me before he hangs out with her. I would never forbid him to spend time with her, but it means a lot to me that he is now aware of my feelings since I brought them up.
|
|
alright... i kinda think my boyfriend might be cheating on me... i've done the whole look at the phone thing and stuff like that, but he would probably delete everything anyways. i saw something on the computer before like a program that would make it so you could see all the texts and calls he makes and gets from your computer or something. does anyone know of anything like this and where i can find it? thanks :) (link)
|
I don't know of any programs like you have described, but I also highly recommend that you don't resort to spying on him. What you really should be doing is evaluating your relationship. Why do you think he is cheating on you? Do you feel comfortable telling him about your fears or have you done so already? If you are in a relationship where trust and/or loyalty is missing, you need to discuss this with your boyfriend to see if the relationship is worth saving.
Think about this. You spy on his texts and calls and realize he hasn't been cheating. How would he feel if he found out? Would you feel guilty and eventually feel the need to tell him? Would you later mistrust him for other reasons?
What if you spy on his texts and calls and realize he HAS been cheating on you? Will you confront him about it? Will he turn things around to make you feel like you are the bad guy when he was the one who was cheating?
Does the relationship sound like it would work either way?
You are in a situation in which the other way to solve it would be to talk to him about. Either he will assuage your fears, come clean, or leave you guessing. Depending on the outcome, you'll figure out what to do from there.
|
|
I'm 16, and I've had a couple bfs but haven't had one in awhile. And I really enjoy being in a relationship more than being single, I feel happier and better about myself. I know it's good to learn how to stand on your own before you get involved with other people, but I think I've done that by now. How do I get the guy's attention? :D (link)
| |
I know it's really cliche to say, but just be yourself. But by that I don't mean just do everything like normal and wait for a guy to come to you. Just be comfortable with yourself enough to chat up a guy not worrying too much about what he thinks about you or whether or not he will like you. Just having fun talking/flirting will allow you to be confident, which will really catch a guy's attention. If you're having fun, you won't have to be worried about overdoing anything or getting too nervous to show any interest at all.
|
|
hi, i need advice. im 16 and the guy i love is a bit older than me. my parents want let me be with him so i have to sneak. i do feel horrible about it. i really want a relationship with him. i dont know what to do. please help! (link)
| |
Try to get your parents to know him as a person, not as a person you are interested in having as your boyfriend. If they get to know him well, they'll be more comfortable with you dating him. If you continue to sneak around and they find out, they will have more of a reason to be against you being with him.
|
Last year I discuss my best friend that I am bi sexual and that I have a crush on her. She is fine with it but she doesn’t like me in that way. Because she is unsure of her sexuality and not ready for a relationship (she is still unsure). After the talk we had she and I are still close friends and there were times she will seemed she is flirts or teasing me but I cant tell if it means she fancy me. She leans on me, touch me and close to me. Yesterday she and I and couple of our friends were in my room watching TV. I was on the left side of my bed and she the right. I lay in my head in the middle of the bed as she too. We ended up our heads touching together. I just don’t get why she is so touchy feely to me when she isn’t attracted to me.
(link)
| |
You said that she's unsure and not ready for a relationship, but are you sure she isn't attracted at all? She may be toying with the idea in her head and that is why she acts that way towards you; because she's unsure and not ready for a relationship she just might be trying to figure it out without without jeopardizing your friendship. OR perhaps you may be overanalyzing what she does. she may just be comfortable with you because you are her best friend and she feels comfortable with you.
|
what are some good gifts you can get your boyfriend for valentines day?
thanksss (link)
|
I used to think that gifts for your boyfriend had to be strictly sweet gifts. Don't limit yourself like that! Cologne or a framed picture of the two of you are great, but don't be afraid to go for anything like movies, cds, clothes, or anything relating to any of his interests (cars, a tv show, sports, etc.)
Is he into music? Have a favorite band? What about a t-shirt or sweatshirt from their website?
Does he constantly work on his car? How about a gift card to an auto shop?
It also depends on how big of a deal Valentine's Day is to the two of you. Last year, I just got my boyfriend a card. He gave me flowers and chocolate.
|
|
So, I'm sixteen years old, going into Junior high, and haven't lost my first kiss. Honestly, is this a good thing or a bad thing in guys eyes? I've had chances to lose it, but i feel its really important. Help. :\ (link)
|
it really doesn't matter to the guys that you actually WANT it to matter to. the guys that you don't want to have anything to do with might want an experienced girl. however, most guys won't care, or even may like this about you. to quote footloose, they won't "suffer by comparison." they also know that you are serious about the feelings behind it; you aren't just looking to play around.
don't rush it, but also don't hold back. first kiss experiences, whether they are good or bad, are fun to look back on and it's fun to share your story with other people. so don't stress over it. it will happen when it happens.
if you need anything else, ever, IM me on sweetx3babie. i'm usually online, but invisible. haha.
|
hey..i have this boyfriend and he's really cute but i don't really have feelings for him anymore. i mean he's very sweet but like he's moving too fast and it's making me like turned off. and now he's making me feel like he should be my brother. idk what to do anymore! please someone help me!
i'll give 5 for trying..thanx! (link)
| |
i think you should break up with him. tell him exactly what you told us. "you're really sweet, but i really don't have feelings for you anymore. i feel like things have been moving too fast and i see you more like a brother."
|
|
16/f My friend and I both like eachother. We've both expressed our feelings for eachother, but we've never kissed or anything else along those lines. I really want to start something with him, but the problem is that he's going to college and I won't be able to see him at school all the time anymore (he'll be about 2 hours away). How do I persuade him that we could work things out even if he goes to college? Anyone have any good reasons at why long term relationships can work? He doesn't believe that they can. (link)
| |
i am in the same boat except he is going much farther. i'm not sure if we are going to end up together, but my guy believes in long distance relationships because one of his brothers stayed with his gf from high school and they are now married and another one of his brothers did the same thing and is engaged. tell him that it will be hard but you are willing to try because it's worth it. the worst that can happen is it doesn't work out. also, if you like each other, why not enjoy it while it lasts? try to make it last longer, and if it doesn't work out, at least you had fun.
|
|
my boyfriend(19) and I(18) have been together over 2 months and he suggested sleeping together this weekend. We're both virgins but we discussed contraception etc and i do feel ready for it but my university entrance exams are in two weeks and are the most important exams i will ever do. I think ill be too stressed to be able to enjoy it and id like to wait til after the exams. (a month or so) he says he doesnt mind and ive said id like to do other stuff with him but i still feel as if an innocence is gone from our relationship and its made me very depressed.I feel like the issue is hanging in the air and that sex is all that matters.How can I clear the air?please help,i cant study properly for exams! (link)
| |
just talk to him about it. these feelings might be a sign that you aren't ready to take it to that level, but if you truly are and he loves you, he won't have a problem waiting a few weeks. i'm not trying to tell you what to do, but you have only been together for 2 months. if this is a lasting relationship you have plenty of time for it to happen.
|
13.f
so for starters -- we'll call me jen, and my boyfriend jim. jim asked me out, and for some reason i knew that everything would be really awkward. since we're friends, and turning into more than that is weird. but we dont act like boyfriend - girlfriend people do, or, we havent gotten a chance to since he just asked me out last night ... but whenver we talk online & say goodbye it just ends as 'kk bye' or 'g2g bb' or something with no meaning. and we have nothing to talk about lately, mainly because of pressure, even thought im not sure what from. we were talking about clocks today. yes, clocks. and it all seems so, artificial. and i just want to break up with him, but if i do that, we probably won't be friends. any ideas? not sure what about -- just, ideas. or opinions. thanks xx.
& of course ill rate. (link)
|
i would give it a couple weeks. most relationships are like that in the beginning. it was like that with the boyfriend i have now, but not for long.
on the other hand, i was friends with this kid and we started going out and it was really awkward. i gave it a couple weeks and it just didnt feel right. i broke up with him and since then we've been best friends. kinda weird, huh?
waiting a little while doesn't hurt, and breaking up doesn't ruin everything. wait a little while and do what you think is right.
|
|
if a girl asks a guy to prom, does she pay for both tickets? does the boy traditionally pay, or does each person pay for their own? (link)
| |
well, if she asked him he shouldn't be expected to pay for both and neither should the girl. I would say each person should pay for their own unless the guy offers to pay both.
|
|
I am 17 years old and have never had a bf. People in my senior class make fun of me behind my back because of this. I even heard one rumour that I was a lesbian. I'm not a lesbian, I do like guys but I'm really shy and most of the guys in my class are really immature and just want sex, not a meaningful relationship. I've also made the decision not to have sex, or make love until I get married. Some of the girls in my class have slept with over 14 guys, and act like it's no big deal. Sometimes I get so depressed I feel like crying. The fact that tomorrows Valentines day is just going to make me feel worse. Do things ever get any easier for girls like me? Or does it just get worse when I go to college and into the work force? I'm beginning to feel like I'm the only person left with values. (link)
|
aw, i'm sorry that people are so stupid. just let it all roll off your shoulders and realize that you are going to be the one better off in the end. you are going to be the one who, when you do have a relationship, it will be better than any of theirs because you are waiting for something real. you will never feel used as much as they have, whether they admit it or not. you will have a working marriage, while many of them will get divorced. be proud.
as for making things easier tomorrow, don't think of it as a day for couples, it is just a day for LOVE. love for your family, love for your friends..do you have any pets? cause its a time for love for them too. just focus on it that way and you will love it!!
and i have the same values as you, so don't feel alone. my last boyfriend broke up with me because of my beliefs and i am so glad i held onto them because..that's obviously all he was there for! so, don't let go of them and you will be glad. =).
|
is 16 years old too old for a 14 year old?
because i don't think its a problem and it never ever seemed like a problem until one of my friends brought it up. hes totally cool with it. and he doesn't like force me to do anything. its nice. but is he really too old? (link)
| |
no, that is exactly how my ex and i were. i know he doesn't, but if he tries anything you don't like, hold on to your beliefs and you should be fine. =).
|
sr to bother you again. but the thing is, in school we are pretty much best friends which is awkward for me because usually my best friends arent girls. But she tells me everything. well mostly everything. Almost all her secrets. I f i ask her out and she says no, will that ruin the relationship we have now?
P.S. She is in 5/6 of my classes which if she says no might make it awkward. any more ideas? I really appreciate them (link)
|
Well, it's different for everyone, but I'll use my own examples to give you ideas of what it could be like.
I actually dated my best friend for about a month. We weren't even that close before. Barely even friends, but after dating, we've become best friends and we tell each other everything.
I liked my friend Jimmy and told him, but he didn't like me back. It was awkward for a while, but eventually it was normal again..and then he asked me out months later. We broke up. Things were awkward for a little while. Things got better. He liked me, but I didn't like him. (here is where you could maybe end up relating to.) He got very very mad at me and called me names (don't do that!) and we got into a huge fight. We talked it out though and things went right back to normal.
Jimmy and my friend Lauren are best friends. They decided to go out, broke up, and are still best friends.
My friend Nick asked me out twice. Each time i said no, but it didn't change our friendship at all.
I can't think of one time when people who were friends before ruined it forever by trying a relationship. It may be awkward for a few weeks, but only if you make it awkward.
I hope this helped.
|
|