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humorist-workshop
17/f and never had a bf
I am 17 years old and have never had a bf. People in my senior class make fun of me behind my back because of this. I even heard one rumour that I was a lesbian. I'm not a lesbian, I do like guys but I'm really shy and most of the guys in my class are really immature and just want sex, not a meaningful relationship. I've also made the decision not to have sex, or make love until I get married. Some of the girls in my class have slept with over 14 guys, and act like it's no big deal. Sometimes I get so depressed I feel like crying. The fact that tomorrows Valentines day is just going to make me feel worse. Do things ever get any easier for girls like me? Or does it just get worse when I go to college and into the work force? I'm beginning to feel like I'm the only person left with values.
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I would like to let you know you are definately not alone! Im exactly the same way! Well until this last week. Last Saturday I got my very first boyfriend! Ive always been "the friend" never good enough to date but just to hang out with. I got major depressed and started thinking that I would never find anyone who likes me. Then I talked to my friend Ben. He said I was looking to hard, to tone it down, worry about myself and just have fun with life and not obsess about it. I thought about what he said, and I did it. About a week later I met my boyfriend. God works in mysterious ways. :D
Can I ask you something. Are you medium height, average weight with brown hair,and brown eyes? Cause if you are that would be totally freaky.lol
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I know its after valentines day, but Im 16 and Ive had bfs. I've only ever slept with one guy which was a result of a one night stand i was drunk at the time and regret it!
A guy will respect you more if you wait, only IF hes a decent man! It gets better when you go to work as people will grow up! When you do get a bf and your in a meaningful relationship, you might even miss the single life but who knows. I bet the girls you are talking about at your school regret not waiting. Who cares what other people say, do they matter to you?
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If it makes you feel any better, I'm 14 and haven't ever had a boyfriend...but yeah. That's my problem, not yours, haha.
Anyways, my advice is that having a boyfriend shouldn't be all about having sex anyways..a boyfriend should be someone who brings out the best in you and someone you really care about. There's nothing wrong with you if you aren't dating someone! Like Brunette Baby Cakez said below me, I think you are also waiting for the perfect man. And, it doesn't matter if you're single on Valentines' Day..hanging out with your girls can be even MORE fun than doing something with a guy who only wants to get in your pants. You sound like a really cool person who wants to have a nice relationship, so I can almost guarentee that you will find a great guy who loves you for WHO YOU ARE!
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hey well you jsut want the right man. dont rush into any relationship because you feel presured because you never have had a boyfriend. the right boy will come i promise. so just wait it out and you will see. cait ♥
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Life changes in college. A LOT. The culture is generally more mature.
That doesn't mean that there won't be a lot of kids having sex. For some, college is a real soap opera. But it's not that way for everyone. And there are definitely going to be a lot of people in college who feel the same way you do.
I think you'll find life in college to be a lot easier.
I know that Valentine's Day is hard. Sometimes I think that it was deliberately created to make single people miserable! But it's only once a year. Hang on, and you'll get through it.
You're not alone. I was a shy person, too. I didn't even date until I was 33 (and now I'm married and we have a wonderful little boy). I really wouldn't recommend waiting as long as I did, of course.
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i dont know if this will you make feel better, and im not trying to sound like a cornball here...
your not the only person in the world with values, and if itll make you feel a bit better...
can u be my valentine?
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I want you to know how proud I am of you for taking the stand you have taken regarding 'sex'. I was pregnant when I graduated from highschool and in those days you married the father. It didn't work long. I wish I would have had the strength of character and the wisdom then that you are exampling today in your life and for your friends and acquaintances.
I hope your parents can appreciate this about you also... and I will be alone tomorrow on Valentine's Day also... so we can think of one another and send love to each other.
Let others make fun of you, that is there issue and not assuredly yours! Stand as an example of integrity and wisdom and purity and you will one day make a stand in the world of humanity. You surely will do lots of solid good for others and for your family and yourself.
You have every reason to celebrate yourself and your choices and I strongly suggest that take yourself out tomorrow in a sort of 'self celebration' of love and rejoice!! You have earnt it dear heart in every way by standing true to yourself, your beliefs and your values. I only wish I would have been much more like you than myself in my younger years.
I'm not complaining, I'm now living a very good life, but it's taken me a number of years to get to this point. All three of my adult children are great human beings and add to the world, so I am very thankful for that and it would appear that the three grandchildren are about to follow in their parents' footsteps.... so I guess I didn't mess up too bad.
So, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow you can bet on that.... and perhaps one day as you stand in the world as a famous scientist, politician, doctor, musician.... I can be just as proud of you as your family will be.... don't ever ever ever allow peer pressure to crush your dreams, your ideals, your true humanity. Let them play their games.... you dream your dreams alive dear heart for the sake of good earth and humanity. We need more great citizens like you.
Blessings in all ways to you,
salanda
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Things will get easier. High school is an incredibly immature environment. The world completely changes when you leave it.
Hold on to your values. There is absolutely nothing wrong in waiting. Dating in high school, when you're so close to leaving for college is pointless anyway. You'll meet more mature, relationship minded guys in college. Just give it time.
For now, don't let what your peers are saying bother you too much. As soon as you graduate, they'll be gone and so will the rumors.
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Hey, don't feel like the only person left with values. You should feel proud about yourself because you're not a slutty whore banging guys left and right.
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Well first of all, I am the same age as you and I have felt like you. Although I have had a boyfriend, people have assumed I was a lesbian merely for the fact I have values. You should be proud of yourself. Not a lot of girls can say that about themselves. I know tomorrow may be hard for you, but try not to think about it. Focus on something you care about and like. It's just one day that glorifies something. It will pass. As for you being shy, just try to be friends with as many guy as you can. Don't let them intimidate you. They are some really great guys out there. You just have to take a risk. Maybe ask a guy a homework question, or compliment his outfit. Or, if you ever feel brave enough, ask him if he wants to go to Starbucks or something. It's okay to cry, but don't dwell. And I think once you go to college you are going to see how much less shallow people can be and you will find a larger pool of guys for you to choose from. There's nothing wrong with you. Lots of girls don't have their first boyfriend until college. Just keep doing what you love and being who you are. :)
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It will get much easier. I was very much like you in high school. I didn't have a bf until I was 18 and a half. I never even got asked out until then. My own family thought I was a lesbian. Stick to your values. You'll find a great guy eventually that will respect your choice to save sex for marriage, just like I did. Remember that the people that pick on you are also the ones that lost their virginity to losers, dated jerks, and cried night after night over a guy they thought they loved. Most of the time when people pick on others it's because they're jealous of you or insecure with themselves. You have a very mature view of love and relationships, unlike other people your age. In the next few years, people should mature some, but you are also going to have to open up a little. Accept the fact that you're not going to find "the perfect guy". Try to change your attitude a little. You may be losing out on opportunities with great guys because you have the wrong attitude, like I did. Open up to the opportunities around you and give guys a chance.
A breakup or rejection doesn't hurt much more than the pain you're feeling now from not being a part of the dating world. Be smart about who you date, but don't be so picky. Get out there and have some fun! You can learn things from relationships that don't work. In no way am I saying that this will happen to you, and don't let this comment make you desperate, but what would happen to someone who was in their 20's and had never dated anyone before? They might have a hard time. If they don't know how to kiss or communicate or anything like that they might get dumped quite quickly. The person they're dating isn't going to have the patience or want to spend the time teaching them what someone else they can date already knows. A few more things...Valentine's day is about the dumbest holiday ever created. It's turns love into something materialistic and if you don't have a "valentine" you feel left out. The best thing you can do about that is know that you aren't alone. Also, once you get into college and start working, more opportunities will present themselves. You won't be stuck around the same kids you've known since Kindergarden anymore. You can start anew. It's a good idea though, to let the first person you date that it is your first relationship early on in the relationship. If you tell them before it might scare them away, and if you don't tell them at all, they won't be patient with you at all. Don't worry about it so much! You will find a great guy. You have a wonderful set of morals and I'll bet you're pretty attractive too :)
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you feel better.
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I think you'll be fine. Because you aren't afraid to be yourself the right guy will come along that has similar values to yours. However, these people who have slept around seem to think they are above you, correct? Well...don't do what they are doing to you in return. Don't bring yourself to their level. When you say you feel like you're the only person left with values, that says to me that you hold yourself higher above those people because you aren't promiscuous and they are. In doing that, you are being just as intolerant as they are...just try to stay away from doing that. Just because someone has different values from you does not mean they lack values completely. I wish you the best of luck in your search for a guy who respects you. You'll only have to deal with these nasty people for a few more months and then you're free. People in college are a bit more mature. :)
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aw man..people can be such assholes! Listen, i know this is tough..but try and not to pay attention to them..you are right in how you think..having values is completley right! you are very mature for your age.a.the girls who are having sex with like 23423 guys are..uhm..for a lack of a better word..sluts? and you will find that guy that completes you and makes you happy..in the meanwhile..since tomrrow is vday..go out with some of ur girls and just ddont think aout guys, keep yourself occupied and have a good time! Meeting a guy can happen when you least expect it soo just remember..stay true to your values and that special someone will come!
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aw, i'm sorry that people are so stupid. just let it all roll off your shoulders and realize that you are going to be the one better off in the end. you are going to be the one who, when you do have a relationship, it will be better than any of theirs because you are waiting for something real. you will never feel used as much as they have, whether they admit it or not. you will have a working marriage, while many of them will get divorced. be proud.
as for making things easier tomorrow, don't think of it as a day for couples, it is just a day for LOVE. love for your family, love for your friends..do you have any pets? cause its a time for love for them too. just focus on it that way and you will love it!!
and i have the same values as you, so don't feel alone. my last boyfriend broke up with me because of my beliefs and i am so glad i held onto them because..that's obviously all he was there for! so, don't let go of them and you will be glad. =).
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i know its weird but this is a good thing. Its sooo great that you have respect for your body, unlike all these other girls that think they have to spread their legs to get some attention. And the lesbain thing, yeah i know girls are weird and i dont know why they make up stuff, but the best advice i can give you is DONT GIVE A SHIT!! F*CK ALL THOSE GIRLS!! THEY SUCK!! tomorrow valentines day, yeah im single, but its not gonna be that bad cuz im not gonna let it get to be, *besides its my half birthday*! YAY! BUt be careful when you get to college, those guys are crazy, and if they find out youre a virgin theyre gonna go after you like crazy! Guys like virgins, so you'll find one, just make sure hes not trying to use you. You'll find the right guy in your life, and youl be really happy that you waited so long and didnt ruin it with some guy who treated you and your body like shit. I'm also keeping my values as well and im really proud of myself, even sometimes my friends pick on me because of my virginity hahaha poeple these days, gotta love making fun of them. Any who i hope my random rambling helped you..in some way.
!!!<33
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