Just your average nice girl next door. Married the love of my life at 24, widowed at 29.
I love cats and sailing and get to the beach as often as I can.
Gender: Female
Age: 39
Member Since: January 7, 2005
Answers: 298
Last Update: July 17, 2006
Visitors: 23229
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I was at my friend lillys house for her 15th birthday with a few other people. Everything was great we were doing manicures and making prank calls. But then it got really late and everyone got a sugar rush and were bouncing off the walls it was crazy! Well I was sitting on top of Lillys dresser next to her cousin Jenna and all of the sudden Jenna started rubbing my feet and telling me how soft my skin was....it really weirded me out. Everyone laughed like it was a joke...but it didnt seem like a joke to her. She looked kinda like my boyfriend does right after we make out. Should I be weirded out by this? I'm going to her house again on tuesday and her cousin will be there, and I'm kinda scared...should I be? Hellllp! (link)
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If any one's behaviour towards you makes you uncomfortable in any way, then it IS inappropriate - doesn't matter who it is. Trust your inside feelings. If you have to spell it out, say please do NOT touch me, I am NOT into you like that.
Stand up for yourself and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.
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My friend met this guy and he is the sweetest guy ever and stuff, and im wicked jealous of her, and this guy talks to me about her because they like eachother and they know it and he told her he loved her and stuff and she said it back but idk what to do because im always talking to him about her..like im her best friend so he asks me for advice about what she likes & stuff, but idk...this whole thing is getting to me and getting me WICKED jealous like, its not right to feel this jealous about anything...so what should i do? Should i stop talking to him? should i stop talking about him with my best friend, or should i keep helping them? because this is like tearing me apart...anything helps thanks (link)
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Feeling jealous is totally understandable. You're kind of caught in the middle and all you're hearing is stuff about them. How about talking about You and what you like once in awhile. If they are SO close and saying ILY then they should be talking to each other!!! You don't need to keep helping at all. Next time either one starts asking you stuff, just say - Hey go ask her/him! And don't feel bad about it. You have a life too. It's nice that you did that in the beginning, but you don't have to do it forever.
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Hey, my boyfriend and I are real greatt ogether but the thing is. he keeps teasing me like calling me dork and stuff. It seems like hes joking, which i dont mind but. HE DOES ALL THE TIME. and then think its cute when i get mad..i dont like it. i dont know how to tell him i dont like it without making him feel like i hate him or something. Plus i once told him he can call me
his lil black slave cuz it turns me on (hes white im black) but he says it too much. but i hate it...and he likes to spank my butt. idk what to do...he's too kinky.
(link)
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You need to make a stand for yourself.
One way to address would be to say - ya know, it was really funny the first 75 times you said it - but now it's NOT.
Teasing can be sweet and fun and usually means that someone likes you. If it is continuous it is called passive aggression and he is actually trying to hurt you. If he doesn't take you for real and stop treating you this way you need to find a new boyfriend. Otherwise it will only continue to get worse, especially if you say stop and he doesn't, but you still stay.
hope this helps.
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OK so I'm not trying to sound concieded but i no i'm really popular and my boyfriend gets really mad because everyone stops and talks to me and asks me questions. And he doesnt like that i have a lot of guy friends. But thats just how i am i have a million friends i'm really socail what do i tell him (link)
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Your bf should support you in making all kinds of social connections - that's what life is all about. Just don't let him see what a bad speller you are.
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ok so i have a follow up question and it's more of a story though. ok in my whole life i've been through alot of depressing stuff and about 2 years ago when i still lived in the same city as my bestfriend, i dated what i think was my first love for about 4 months and then I went out of town for the weekend and when i came back my bestfriend was dating my bf and when i asked her to break up with him because i really did like him she said NO and continued to date him for 2 months then she found a hotter boy so she dumped my first love for a guy she that was hotter then him. Now when i said i've been through a lot of depressing stuff i really have. i was abused by my older brother for about 6 years. my mom is an acholic. my dad disowned me and my brother and my sister. My sister had a car wreck 2 years ago and is now mentally retarded. But any thing else in my life that i have been depressed about is because of my bestfriend. She likes to caz drama. And lately she has changed and is not the same person i have been bestfriends with forever. I love her so much. And i already told the guy i would go out with him. So how do i help her understand that i really really want to be with him and to help her understand that since me adn fred have been talking about getting together i haven't been depressed? (link)
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Wow... it's going to be hard to do because us females are so sensitive - even when your head is telling you one thing, you can't ever control how your heart feels. You might have to make a hard choice. You are a deep thoughtful person and sounds like you realize this guy is special. Just make sure he is special and that he understands what you expect and want out of this relationship. you don't see it as a nothing fling or you wouldn't jeopardize your friendship with the gf. Good luck sweetie :)
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14 will be 15 in 6 days/f
ok so my best friend(who is 15) for 8 years was dating this guy named Fred(not his real name,just turned 18) and they dated for about 3 months when he cheated on her and she dumped him but me and fred kept talking on the phone (since i live 3 hours away from my bestfriend and fred) and fred was about to move a lot closer to me. So we started talking about hooking up (since we both have problems with cheating)and trying to have an open relationship. Which sounds bad but i am the type of girl that doesn't ever get jelous and understands that everyone messes up. You can call me a whore if you want. we have a lot in common and we seem perfect for each other. but resently i found out that my best friend still likes him so i backed off and let her have him until he moved. and then he finally told me that he didn't like her anymore and asked me not to tell her that so i didn't until it kinda slipped out. and he wasn't mad at me cause he was moving the next day. and so everybody was ok but my bestfriend who is now claiming that he is her first true love but my bestfriend has a clinging problem with guys and this is like the fiftyth guy she has said is her first true love plus since i told her he didn't really like her she has started "talking" to this guy chris which was something fred doesn't know. Now this is where the real problem comes in. so me and fred decided to keep our plans and try dating. So he said he was going to come all the way to where i live and stay the weekend at a cabin his family owns and asked me to come hang out with him during the days. I said yes and then called my bestfriend to tell her about out plans. i said hi and instead of saying hi back she said your not f***ing going and i'm gonna kick your ass if you do because i still love him which pissed me off because i know she doesn't and i know she is and has been "talking" to chris. So now we are not talking. I want to make up with her but i really want to be with fred not only because we have the same views on almost everything but because he makes me happy and i've been really depressed lately. And my best friend always does this. If she even thinks that me and one of her ex's are going to start dating she starts telling me if i date them then our friendship is over. So i have always gave into her and told the guy no but i getting tired of it and like i said i really want to be with him. So my question is should i date him and lose her or should i give into her again and leave him alone. And there is no inbetween with her.
signed
i really don't know what to do (link)
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Me and my best gf's always had a rule... if one of us was truly broken hearted over a guy then no one else would ever consider dating him. There are plenty of fish in the sea, even if she's felt this way 10 times over, the guy is off-limits. Maybe 5 yrs from now it'd be ok, but if you really value the friendship you never would have been considering a relationship with any of her ex's ever. Although, she shouldn't be threatening you, that's pretty childish, but she is geniunely upset and feels thats the only way to stop you. Your best girlfriends will be around forever, guys will come and go.
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my friend kayla .. thought it would be a GREAT joke to IM my boyfriend and act like some girl looking to hook up .. and the thing is that kayla has a tendency to make things up .. or to invision things differently when she doenst like the person .. and she really really didnt like how my boyfriend treated me.
well she called me after she 'IMed him' as mandy moody, and he apparently asked her for pictures, her age, grade, and said that he had a girlfriend but wasnt thinking it would last much longer, becuase 'i didnt put out'.
so when i heard this, i got very hurt and very upset. and i tend to make snap decisions and judgements in the heat of hte moment .. so i broke up with him .. now i realize talkin to him would have been a better idea.
the more and more i think about it, the more and more it seems as if kayla maybe did say that just to get me to dump cody .. her own sort of motivation in a way .. because for someone who had such a problem with me not puttin out, he never made any moves .. all the things we did do I INITIATED! .. so i guess my question is .. what should i do .. try and talk to him .. see if i can get him to take me back .. how would be the best way to go about doing that?
guys opinion .. would you take someone who did that back ..?
i mean i wasn't completely happy with how he treated me, but i cant do this anymore. i cry constantly. the only time i dont cry is when i sleep, and then i dream about him. so i wake up and cry more .. i liked this kid for over a year. 7 months of that was trying to get over him. now ive dated him and fell harder, and now i have to give him up. what kills me is i didnt lose him, i let him go ... (link)
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Talk to him! Don't expect to get back together, but say you just need a little clarification on what happened. Don't ever let a "friend" contact your bf and basically test him. That's not fair in a relationship. If you felt you had to trick him and test him in that sneaky way then you got exactly what you expected. Some people just thrive on drama and when there isn't any, they create it or make it up. And if there isn't enough drama in their lives, they're gonna stir up bs in your life. You don't need friends like that. It sounds like it was all made up and it sucks, but you're gonna have to take it as a hard lesson learned about trusting your so-called friends.
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I have been with my b/f for about a yr and a half now. We have definitely had our ups and downs. Last year i was at a friends house and one of my b/f's good friends showed up. He asked if i wanted to hang out. Went to his house and he put the moves on me. I refused to have sexual contact with him. Even though i had the urge to. He told me that he was sorry and that he couldnt help but wonder why i was with this other guy and that he thought i was pretty.
Ever since that time, he always makes comments to my b/f about how my b/f doesnt treat me right. Or he will joke around about how im his type. We live in a tight-knit town where everyone knows everyone. I see this guy everyday and he always smiles or stares and then looks away.
My major problem is that im finding more and more that im not in-love with my bf anymore as he has become physically violent.
My sister-in-law thinks that i should leave my bf and go with this guy. I am quite tempted as he and i have so much in common and he knows how to treat a lady. I also have a medical condition where i cannot have children. And this guy has full custody of his little girl. Every time i see him with her i melt because he is such a good father.
Am i wrong for wanting to try and have a relationship with this other guy?
And do you think he would be interested in trying to have a relationship? (link)
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First you need to be on your own. If your bf is getting violent with you, leave him imediately. Don't go straight into the arms of another guy no matter who, because that could make the situtation worse. Give it some time and if the other guy is genuine, he will wait. He may be just wanting to screw over your bf, more than truly wanting you. Good luck.
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So, I have this boyfriend of 4 months. But now I want to break it off. But I just don't know what to say. I really don't want to hurt him, but.....idk. I'm also scared that he might do something stupid, because that's just the type of person he is. And he's toally obessed with me and clingy. It's annoying. I know that's mean but it's true. Anyone have anything I can say, because I suck at breaking up with guys, I just don't know what to say or how to say it. Sorry for the stupid question 5's for helpful answers. (link)
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Be honest and say you don't think you are as compatible as an exclusive couple. Stick to your guns and keep saying the exact same answer. if he's as obsessed and clingy as you say then nothing's gonna truly get through to him anyhow. But you will know that you were straight up.
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I have awesome friends theres a group of us made up of girls and guys and we joke around about everything and you know the deal with friends thats just us... but in the group theres one girl who everyone likes or would go out with in a second i mean i love her to death too but i mean i dont see any difference between her and the rest of us, i mean she plays sports but so do the rest of us and were all kind of alike and we all have our different "fallbacks" if you know what i mean. i just dont understand. why is it like this?
(link)
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There is just some magic in some people. My best friend for years is tall, and pretty overweight, i'm about 5'4" blonde, 105 pounds etc., we go out and the guys are just all over her and I try to listen to what she says and all. All i can figure is that she gives off a much more approachable vibe, and most guys (except senior citizens and wierdos) don't have the nerve to approach me.
I've worked in sales and find that you have to be approachable, smiling, etc., don't sit back with your arms folded because it's very closed body language.
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Can too much attention freak a girl out and make her back off? Even though you're really close? I've heard people say this before, but I'm not too sure, and now I'm affraid that I've been bothering my girlfriend with too much attention. (link)
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Yep it sure can. Most girls end up wanting the ones that they have to chase (at least a little bit). The ones that fall all over us, we're not interested in. Back off a little, do your own thing once in a while and make her miss you!
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This is kind of long and confusing, but bear with me.
Well, I like this guy Jerry. We've talked and flirted before but we usually never see eachother that much. There was a weekend at my friend Kia's church called Disciple Now, and Jerry was there. Usually he would talk to me or say SOMETHING but he he didn't say one word to me the entire time! My friend Kia talked to some people, that don't seem like the people that Jerry would tell his business to, but she that they said that he liked me. But the weird thing is that she finally said that AFTER I admited to like Jerry. She's not the most trustworthy person, but she can be. So then I hear that he gets a girlfriend the week after she told me that. That kinda made me feel down but I knew that I probably wouldn't have a chance with him.
A few weeks after that Kia said that Jerry told her to say hi to me, which made me smile. He acts like he likes me yet he has a girlfriend.
And another problem is that we are in two completely different cliques. He's preppy, and I'm classified as emo/punk. It's really weird too.
A lot of people found out I like him ((like the youth leader)) and I think he knows.
Now, that you've heard everything, do you think he likes me?
(13/f)
Thanks, I rate high (link)
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It sounds like he is definitely attracted to you, but maybe too chicken to go against his 'clique.' Preps can be really bad about looking down on people and it doesn't sound like he looks down on you, but maybe his friends would and he's not individual enough to date who he really wants to. You are in a really tough age range.... usually when you get to 16 or so, then it's cool to be different and friends with all kinds of different people.
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My boyfriend treats me like gold and i have a HUGE attitude problem and i want to change. But i have no idea how to start. Dont state the obvious people like just do it because i tried and it doesnt happen. he is very annoying but i love him to death and he doesnt deserve what i do. I yell/hit/and give him an attitude. I dont really hit him just m,essing around like im not an abusive girlfriend. but I can get out of hand of messing around.
PLEASE HELP! (link)
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Abuse doesn't always mean by physically hurting someone. Mentally hurting them is just as bad... and yelling, hitting and giving him attitude is abusing his good nature and the entire relationship.
Would you ever stand for a boyfriend treating you, the way that you are treating him and say it's not abuse?
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ok so i have liked this guy for about a year now and the hard part is that he's a senior and im a freshman. he's graduating friday night and my friends were suposed to tell him i liked him but they didn't and i want him to know before he goes. he leaves saturday for a summer tour thing and then off to california for college for four years so the time is now to let him know. should i write him a letter and give it to him tomorrow night or is that to forward? guys opinions will help too thanks. (link)
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Don't put anything in writing... that seems silly and childlike.
You should walk up and say "Hey, congratulations (on his graduation) and before ya take off for college and all that, i just thought I'd let you know that you're a great guy and I wish we'd had a chance to get to know eachother." Flash a winning smile and walk away....he'll be thinking of you and you got to say what you wanted.
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ok this is sort of personal but i don't care who answers it because i really need help. i'm fourteen years old and have a boyfriend that's been off and on for over a year. but we're so close now and are in love..no matter who says were "too young" we've gone pretty far in our relationship already, but not a home run. we've talked about going all the way before...but i'm not sure if i'm ready. sometimes i want to, but then i realize i'm only fourteen and shouldn't even think about wanting to. i'm risking a lot if i did this, but if we love each other is it worth it? so can someone whos experienced in this kind of stuff please help? cause i really need it.. thanks. (link)
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If you really feel you have to then go to family planning first and get birth control and condoms are a must. No matter how much in love you are...in reality, this will NOT be the man of your lifetime dreams, so you should think carefully before you have sex with him and how it's going to affect your heart/mind afterwards and after the relationship is over.
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The new guy I'm dating isn't a virgin. We were friends a long time before we started going out, and he'd always tell me about his sexual experiences. I want to save myself for marriage, but I don't care what others do. This isn't about that at all. It's just lately, all the things he's told me he's done with other girls has started rushing back to me and it bothers me. I guess it's some weird jealousy thing, I don't know exactly why I care. He's completely perfect in every way, but his past experience is really holding me back. I realize this is very irrational as most guys have some experience by now (We're both 17) but I can't let go of them. How do I let go of these thoughts? Has anyone had experience with this?
Thanks for your help. (link)
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You're in a tough spot.... and it's hard to let go of the thought that there was someone(s) before you. But what counts is how he is with YOU in your current relationship, not anything before. Even though you don't have much in your past, you wouldn't want him to hold anything against you. It's hard for a girl to let go of the jealousy thoughts in our heads, but try and always treat him with care and respect and hopefully he will treat you the same way. best wishes
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For some reason everytime my ex boyfriend is around I make sure I'm all over my current boyfriend. Why is this?? (link)
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We just can't help how we feel "inside" and part of you deep down wants him to know that you are doing just great and have moved on. But now it's time for you to just be doing great and moving on, without having to make someone else feel bad. It's hard, and extra hard being a female - we are brutal on ourselves. Good luck
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i am 16 and my boyfriend has been talking about getting married he said he was going to ask me to marry him soon...how do you guys feel about teenage marriage? and why do you feel this way? i need ohter teens advice! thanks xox (link)
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Teenage marriage can be wonderful.... spending your whole life (like our grandparents) together, if you are in a very healthy, strong, relationship and are willing to work at it no matter what it takes.
But that was a far different day and age, where a lot of people never even ventured out of their home state. It CAN work, but takes 5 times as much effort and you don't ever want to be disappointed that you didn't go places or do things because you were already tied down.
If it's really meant to be, than the marriage part can wait, until you've both had the chance to figure out what you want out of life individually and accomplish some things - just for you. In the meantime, don't rush into being married, just enjoy the fact that you both love each other that much and share lots of good times together!
Best wishes
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this always happens to me i start liking someone and then when they start liking me i stop liking them. guys ask me out everyonce in a while but i akways turn them down even if i like them , i have had 3 boyfriends bf not serious tho. and always end up dumping them, so for the past month i have been liking this guy chris, hes really funny and nice. but... he does drugs. lots. and hes not a virgin. so hes starting to like me and is like all over me, but now i have stopped liking him, i am practically giving false hope, if he asks me out and i say no. he probably end up hating. but i would like to be friend, i just dont kno if tahts even possble what should i do to get him to stop flirting with me so much so we can just be friends:/ (link)
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It's hard to understand, but sometimes the chase is a lot more fun than the catch. It's better to 'play the field' and meet lots of different types of people than spend lots of time going steady and missing out on fun dates and times. With the latest guy Chris, you can always say you like him, but can't date him because of the drugs etc., that way you're not blaming it necessarily on him, but his behaviors. Good luck!
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This great guy & I have been dating for a few months now. He's popular and he's been with a few girls from our school. He has told me that 2 of his exes have mentioned me in a negative way. I've started to notice a few girls giving my dirty looks around school, which has never happened before. He says these girls are jealous but I'm getting upset by it. I'm starting to question if this potential relationship is worth it, even though he really makes me happy. Should I just forget about the girls or forget him? (link)
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Ex-gf's can be so mean! They are only targeting you because they must still like him and haven't moved on to their next bf. Tell him that it does bother you, but you hope that he will always come to you and ask if something is said about you, instead of believing the old gfs.
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