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my bestfriend and her ex
14 will be 15 in 6 days/f
ok so my best friend(who is 15) for 8 years was dating this guy named Fred(not his real name,just turned 18) and they dated for about 3 months when he cheated on her and she dumped him but me and fred kept talking on the phone (since i live 3 hours away from my bestfriend and fred) and fred was about to move a lot closer to me. So we started talking about hooking up (since we both have problems with cheating)and trying to have an open relationship. Which sounds bad but i am the type of girl that doesn't ever get jelous and understands that everyone messes up. You can call me a whore if you want. we have a lot in common and we seem perfect for each other. but resently i found out that my best friend still likes him so i backed off and let her have him until he moved. and then he finally told me that he didn't like her anymore and asked me not to tell her that so i didn't until it kinda slipped out. and he wasn't mad at me cause he was moving the next day. and so everybody was ok but my bestfriend who is now claiming that he is her first true love but my bestfriend has a clinging problem with guys and this is like the fiftyth guy she has said is her first true love plus since i told her he didn't really like her she has started "talking" to this guy chris which was something fred doesn't know. Now this is where the real problem comes in. so me and fred decided to keep our plans and try dating. So he said he was going to come all the way to where i live and stay the weekend at a cabin his family owns and asked me to come hang out with him during the days. I said yes and then called my bestfriend to tell her about out plans. i said hi and instead of saying hi back she said your not f***ing going and i'm gonna kick your ass if you do because i still love him which pissed me off because i know she doesn't and i know she is and has been "talking" to chris. So now we are not talking. I want to make up with her but i really want to be with fred not only because we have the same views on almost everything but because he makes me happy and i've been really depressed lately. And my best friend always does this. If she even thinks that me and one of her ex's are going to start dating she starts telling me if i date them then our friendship is over. So i have always gave into her and told the guy no but i getting tired of it and like i said i really want to be with him. So my question is should i date him and lose her or should i give into her again and leave him alone. And there is no inbetween with her.
signed
i really don't know what to do
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Me and my best gf's always had a rule... if one of us was truly broken hearted over a guy then no one else would ever consider dating him. There are plenty of fish in the sea, even if she's felt this way 10 times over, the guy is off-limits. Maybe 5 yrs from now it'd be ok, but if you really value the friendship you never would have been considering a relationship with any of her ex's ever. Although, she shouldn't be threatening you, that's pretty childish, but she is geniunely upset and feels thats the only way to stop you. Your best girlfriends will be around forever, guys will come and go.
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If that has happened so many times then she is not really your friend if she says that and if you really really like him then go for it just do not go to far!
hope i helped!
<~Nkkie~>
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If she is your friend, she would want what would make you happiest. I would do what your instinct tells you to. Talk to her about it and explain to her that she is not being fair, and that you wouldn't treat her like that. She will eventually get over it, so wait a few days so you both have time to cool off then talk about it calmly. If she starts to yell, just say i called you to talk to you nicely, i want to be your friend but i don't deserve to be yelled at. If she continues to be mad, just say i am sorry i will have to call back later. If she hangs up don't call back, just let it go and maybe try later if you want to. If you really want to go out with "fred" then i think you should go with it... hope this helps!!
pinkers
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well i'm not having in good friends these days and all my friends seem to be guys so i tihnk maybe you guys might want to be friends with benifits so you can still be happy but stilll have a friend ask yourself would you rather have a friend or a boyfriend ? i think that would relly help you out there... but if you really have big emotion for this guy and go out but then you guys end up breking up then you lost a friend ship for nothing but the rule of friendship says chicks before dicks but sometimes you have o bend the rules but no one can make this decesion up for you this has to come from what you think will happen in the future =) i'm sorry for this situation i know how it feels ihope i helped,Brianna
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