Hey everyone, my name is Kristin, there's a picture of me on my advice column.. I'm a senior in high school and im 18 years olds.. I know I'm pretty young, but I've been through more than anyone would imagine and I've been through things most teenage girls haven't experienced yet in life. Here's a few things about myself, I've gone through a very serious one year relationship that ended a long long time ago, my parents have been divored for about 6 years, I cheerlead for my high school, I do ballet and have been playing the piano since I was seven, I work at a nearby UPS Store, and I am a dedicated Greek-Orthodox Christian. I hope to get accepted into Cal Poly San Louis Obispo and major in Nutrition..I love to hear about other peoples issues and problems so I could help them deal with it by relating them to my own experiences. So if you wanna talk, I'm here =]
Website: myspace
E-mail: princesskristin01@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: I live in California, I'm half arab half italian
Occupation: Student
Age: 18
AIM: PuReLuVeR143
Member Since: July 28, 2004
Answers: 242
Last Update: January 2, 2006
Visitors: 15156
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yea so i pretty much have the worst luck with girls i know im a good looking guy (trying not to be concieded) but its weird they always want the hot hollister guys...im in a band and sing and write lyrics for it and stuff but sumhow i cant get one i always say the wrong thing or never able to take a hint what should i do? im 15 haha forgot about that (link)
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hey sorry it took so long for me to respond to your question.. i've been out of town. But anyways, i SO know where you are coming from.. i feel the exact same way.. all guys always go for the hot blondy hollister chicks. its like what the helll.... but honestly, youre only 15, you WILL meet a girl who likes you and who you like back.. its inevitable. it just is gunna take some time. i know thats a sucky answer, but thats just the reality of it all.. and about always saying the wrong thing or not being able to take a hint, dont even worrya bout it. you just gotta practice not caring about what chicks think. be yourself, and even act confident. girls LIKE confidence. when you stop going after a girl, she will miss the attention, and then the tables will turn and she will be the one wanting you. so just try to back off any girl you are trying to pursue, if thats even anyone, and try to turn the tables around...
~kristin
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me again...thanks for your help but things between me and da gurl dint really work. i found out she doesnt even feel the slightest thing i do. i made up ma mind to get over her, but i still wanna be friends. wats the easiest way to get over her. ive tried before and it was hard. thanks
Afatsum~ (link)
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Aw, sorry to hear that. Hm.. getting over someone can be pretty tough. Well.. there are many ways. There are really no particular "steps" in getting over someone, it just happens.. There's this quote, I kinda forgot how it goes, but it's like if you can't get someone out of your heart, then maybe they are really suppose to be there. But you said she doesn't have the same feelings as you do, so I guess this is a different situation than one that could match that quote. Anyways, everytime you think about her, tell yourself this, "she's an amazing person, but she's just not for me." EVERY SINGLE TIME you think about her, say that to yourself. Right now, your sub-consious mind is so set on liking this girl.. it's like, for example, chocolate, it's bad for you, but you have probably loved it ever since you were a little kid, so your sub-consious mind is set on liking it. That's how it is with this girl. Sounds to me you've liked her for a while now, and so your mind is automatically use to thoughts coming in your head about how much you like this girl, etc, BUT if you start telling your mind, " no i dont like her, shes a great girl, but shes just not for me," your mind will sooner or later get use to that notion, and will REALLY start to think that way... Whenever people ask me these type of questions, about getting over someone, I kind of have a lot to say because I've had to get over people in the past, and so I know how to do it and how it feels.. She really needs to know how you feel though. Try talking to her about it and tell her exactly how you feel because she might be really confused if you start to avoid her or ignore her calls, etc. I know I would be mad if I didn't know what was going on. Also, keep in mind, YOU WILL GET OVER HER. This, you have to remember. Even if it took you years and years and years, you will get over her.. You said you were like 18 or 19 right? You still have your whole life ahead of you.. You're going to find someone who will love you back!! It's her loss, don't worry everything's going to work out.. love, kristin
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im 18 i have a son and im still with his dad but we fight alot the problem is i have a crush on this guy i grew up with he has a kid too and brings his son to my moms daycare i know he likes me but he has a girlfreind they fight sometimes , i want to tell him how i fell but i think that would be tottaly out of place and wrong what do u think ? thanks (link)
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That must be a kind of hard situation :-/. Well I think that's great that you both have a child because it can let you two relate more. I think that if you really think that it's worth risking your relationship with your current boyfriend, then go for it. But if you cherish your relationship too much, I would let it pass because there's nothing worse than loosing the one you truely love. You have to think hard and decide what you really want. If you are having feelings for someone else, then maybe it shows that your relationship right now is questionable?
love kristin
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my bf just told me he was a pothead...and hes been doing it for almost a year. and we've been going out for more than a year, i dont know what to do. hes lied to me for so long. i told him if he did it i'd dump him but he did it anyway. i only said that so maybe he wouldnt do that but it didnt work. idk what to do. im so confused and idk. please help. and dont tell me to dump him because i cant. i love him too much to do that. no matter what he does. (link)
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Wow, that must be an awful feeling :-/ Sorry to hear that. One thing I would do if I were you, is well naturally talk to him about it again. But this time, tell him that you love him too much to break up with him and it's something you're just going to have to accept. And really, you are just going to have to accept it.. You basically said if he doesn't stop, youd dump him, but he still did it. That means that there's really no stopping him.. Ofcourse tell him everything thats on your mind, like you want to know every little thing from now on, when he smokes where, etc, only because you care about him and want to know what's going on in his life... It's really hard because I know for a fact, if I were you, I'd be going crazy and probably not talk to my bf for like a week, because that is such a hugee thing not to tell your gf, especially since he's been smoking for a year now.. Maybe you two can make a compromise and let him smoke only once a week, etc. love kristin
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Ok, a couple of months ago, one of my guy friends (not a really close one, but somebody i talk to alot) moved away, and i was sad, but not a lot. Then i started to talk to him online alot more, and he was always nice, and teased me, but in the nice way, and now i think i kinda like him. He might be coming back for winter break, and i dunno what to say to him if he does. I dont even know if he'll wanna be my friend once he sees his ex (they broke up because he was moving, but i think they still like each other) wat do i do? (link)
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I think that when he's coming back, he will probably still hang out with his ex, they will probably kiss and all that stuff.. But it's going to be one of the only times you will ever be given a chance to tell him how you feel. I'm almost positive though in acouple months you wont even be thinking about this guy because you'll get over him, etc.. But if I were you I would tell him that you'd love to hang out with him when he comes back. Tell him then and see what happens. Love kristin
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I really like this guy, and he just happens to be my best friend. I know everyone says that if you go out with one of your good friends, it will ruin the friendship. Well I don't believe that because I think all good relationships are based on a previous friendship. Well anyways- one of my really close girl friends is the one he likes, and I don't want him to ask her out, but I think he's going to because that's what he told me. I know I'm really good friends with her, but I just find it hard to support her in this situation. It's not that I want him to not ask her out and ask me out, but I would rather him not go out with anyone because I'm afraid he'll act different around me if he's going out with someone because normally we always flirt and stuff. Can anybody tell me how I'm supposed to tell him that and be honest with him without him getting mad at me or thinking I'm wrong to say that? (link)
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WOW-- im in that exact same position.. one of my really close guy friends likes another one of my friends.. i started liking him since school startEd.. and it sucks because im like the one who hooked them up.. If I were you, I wouldn't wait any longer before they get closer, and I would tell him this, "Listen I really got to talk to you... You are such a close friend to me, i think you're great..and I'm really happy for you and __[the girlz name], but there's just something I need to tell you.. I feel like I shouldn't because its really bad timing with you and so and so, but I can't really keep it in any longer.. I like you.. Not as in like friends, but more than friends.. I dont expect anything at all in return, I just need you to know how I feel..and that I hope nothing will change between us when you and so and so get together..." and then just take it from there
love kristin
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me again, i used to always insist on paying for stuff whenever i would go out with this girl. she got mad after a while so i stopped but sometimes i want to but i feel she'll get mad again. should i do it anyway?
~Afatsum (link)
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Hey, I kind of had this problem awhile ago.. But my situation was probably different because I literally had like no money because of family problems and he was just trying to help, I still have this issue too... But anyway, if she got annoyed with it, then I would definitely stop BUT if you two are ever at dinner/lunch, then u should pay, and if she ever asks to bOrrow like acouple dollars or something for lunch you should give it to her just to be a gOod friend...yupyup if you need any more help im here
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Dear kristin,
thanks for the advise on what i should get her for christmas, i think im taking it! lol anyways do you think this song would scare her away if i gave it to her. just copy and paste the website to view the site.
http://display.lyrics.astraweb.com:2000/display.cgi?fantasia_barrino%2E%2Efree_yourself%2E%2Etruth_is
thanks ~
Afatsum (link)
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aw thats a really sweet song. BUT Im going to be totally honest, it MIGHT scare her away..If she doesn't have the same feelings for you, which I thuoght you might have said before, it might not be the bestest song to give her.. It's a really sweet sOng though.. If she does have feelings for you, that's a perfect sOng to give to her, but just don't expect anything back from her.. Not like materialisticly, but i mean like, she may not want to be together, etc..But to just tell her how you feel that's a really good idea.
love kristin
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hey there,
my situation's like this, i've had relationships with boys but this time its weird cuz i think im in love with my classmate. i know it aint right cuz we're both girls. what am i suposed to do? im 16 years old. (link)
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That could be a kind of hard situation. First of all, do you know if she is a lesbian or atleast bisexual? That's the first thing you have to find out. If she is, AWESOME. Start talking to her more and whatever you do make sure their is laughter in the conversation so theres a feeling of a connection. Then just take it from there. If she isn't a lesbian/bi, I would advize you to NOT tell her or make any kind of hints or moves because it will scare her off.. The way you find out if she's a lesbian is you have to become her really really good friend. Then get into a conversation about eachothers lives, etc, then hint about thinking a model or actress is really pretty, etc..See what she says then take it from there.. hope this somewhat helped
love kristin
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this is the third time i have asked for advise and each and everytime you have given me excellent advise. I still haven't asked the girl out to go somewhere yet, nervous i guess. i told you its her first year in college and my second. i see her a lot at the university and its hard knowing she doesnt like me the same way. weve gotten really close and we talk a lot now. i think she really likes me as a friend but sumtimes it jus seems like she likes me more. i like her so much and idk what to do. i want to get her something for christmas, what do you recommend. remember we talk alot and what do you think if i ask her out one night? please help...thanks
~Afatsum (link)
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Hey there, okay did you find out if she likes you back more than a friend? If she does, great. If she doesn't, thats okay too. Trust me, I know it's wayy easier said than done, but being friends with someone is much better than being more..But that's a different story that I could talk about for hours.. For Christmas...let's see. Definitely get her something nice, [obviously] but I mean not something to resembles your friendship maybe? Or like something that symbolizes an inside joke, I'm sure you guys have many of those. butttt if you don't and you want to get her something more conservative, I would get her a really pretty necklace..I know I love necklaces, especially from someone that is a close friend. Get her like a kinda long chain, not like the too guyish kind, but like a chain with something special that kind of signifies your friendship hanging from it.. If you need more ideas, leave me one.. great luck
love kristin
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Ok heres the deal....I like this boy and I thought he liked me. It turns out he likes my best friend and is going out with her. Well today me,my best friend,her boyfriend(the one I like),and my other friend were at my friends house. We were in the dark in her room for some reason and her bf got up and so did all of us and he started saying "hugs" and started hugging all of us with his eyes closed. One time when he hugged me his hands went a little lower (not my butt but my hips.)He hugged me like 50 times more then he hugged his own girlfriend.He hugged me all the time and I know he could see who he was hugging. Then I said sumthin to him while I was sitting on my friends bed and he came over and like tackled me so I was laying down on her bed. He also tackled me alot through the rest of the night.I used to think he likes me and now I dont kno wat to think. Everything is so confusing.It seems like he likes me but if he did why does he go out with my best friend and tell her he loves her and stuff?It drives me crazy because I REALLY REALLY like him but I guess im happy for them because she is my best friend. Does he like me or not?¿ If he doesnt then how come he always flirts with me and if you just met him and his gf(my best friend) you wouldnt even be able to tell they were boyfriend+girlfriend. You have to like make him just put his arm around her.
-lost and confused
*I RATE HIGH* (link)
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If I were you, I would try my *VERY* best to try and get over this guy..as much as you like him, he isn't with you, but with your friend.. And theres a reason to that: he has to like her..or maybe she is giving him alot of [sexual] stuff but it doesnt sound that way because they dont even act like bf and gf. Also, just say you two ended up being together he could do the exact same thing to you: end up going for someone else. I personally think he is attracted to you and that he is starting to like you. But that doesnt mean that something has to spark from that because he already is going out with someone, and that someone is ur *BEST FRIEND*.. love kristin
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I never get this kid. I really like this boy and I have liked him for over a year now. We have went out before and things happen on and off. Well I have been talking to him recently and he told me he loved me and all, and I didn't know if he was just saying that to get some lol but then he was like I am being serious I really like you a lot still. He said he wants to have sex with me, but the thing is we aren't going out and I brought that up and he's like fine we will go out and then do it. I told him if we did that I was afraid he would 'hump me and dump me' you know. But I told him that I guess I would so he wouldn't keep asking and I was afraid he would get mad. He was happy and all. Then he told me he had to go and he would call me back in 45 minutes and he was like I love you Ryah, just like he would usually do. He never called me back and usually he would call me the next day, but he didn't and he hasn't called me yet today either. I don't know what is up, I saw him today in school and I smiled and said hey and he smiled back (we don't have enough time to stop and talk). He never really acts like he so called 'loves me' in school but we do act like friends, but on the phone it's different. I don't know why he hasn't called and I don't know why he only acts like that on the phone! Anyone have any ideas? (link)
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Yeah... I definitely agree with the other columnists on this one.. This situation doesnt seem right at all.. Something's way off with this guy. Im going to be nothing but honest: I really think that he just wants to get some. Obviously he does have feelings for you because if he didn't have even alittle bit of ffeelings, he wouldnt be trying to get with you. You have to look for the clues. "Actions speak louder than words."- Thats the truest statement Ive ever heard. Think about it and tell this guy you have alot more respect for yourself than to have sex with him..
love kristin
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My realy good friend went out with this boy but he broke up with her in three days. I've liked him since we were introduced (by my friend). My boyfriend of two months just broke up with me and the first person i thought about was my friends ex. im not looking for a rebound guy. i asked my friend and she says its ok and shes happy for me. Her ex already nos i like him. am i low? what else can i do? (link)
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Youre not low at all! Trust me. Youre ex broke up with you, you have to remember that. I think if you were the one who broke up with him and you found a new guy really really fast, that would be kind of low, but it's not that situation right? Plus your friend even said that shes okay with it and shes even happy for you. The only thing is, I kinda think maybe that your [girl] friend might of just said that shes okay with it, etc, because she doesnt want to be sour about the whole thing. Talk to her about it again and make sure that its obvious that she relaly doesnt care about it. Then go for it! Great luck
love kristin
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I've never really been shy around guys but theres one that i like now but and really shy towards. he nos i like him but i just got my heart broke so could that be why im afrid to talk to him? (link)
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I think that its not really because you just got your heart broken, I honestly think that it's just because you like him. Its as simple as that. I bet you probably have never been shy around other guys you like, but this time it's just different. Theres really no explanation on why its different because I dont really know your situation. What you should do is try to forget that you like him when youre around him- hard I know. But if you really really really really try to kinda push those feelings aside when hes around, then youll be able to act yourself again. What I mean when I say push the feelings aside, I mean just around him so you are able to act youself, I dont mean to stop liking him.. Great luck kristin =]
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i have been with my boyfreind off and on kinda of for 8 months, i wanted to take a break becuase like i felt like he was holding me back from things i wanted to do, like he always wnated to knoe where i was or what i was doing and always aummesed things like he had no trust in me or sumthing. but during the break i tlaked to afew other guys and i felt likle happy talking to them and didnt wanan go back, but he keeps like sucking me backinto the relasitship bcuz he knows he kan, becuase i still care for him way to much and hes all in love with me and stuff and woukdnt never do ne thing againt me, i duno its jus hard, becuase im the one thats confused i could jus go right back into the relatsihip and b the sameold way but i think i want something new, hs the first guy ive ever relaly made out with kind of my first everything, so i odnt kno ne thing other then him so is kind of hard when alot of other guys want to like hang out or somethingand i want to but i cant knopwing i sitll have him, i duno im jus really confused ! (link)
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You will regret it in the future if you stay with him..Its only going to get harder and harder to let go and try new things in the future..The sooner you let go, the easier it will be to move on.. No one in the world can make you be together, NO ONE. You say that he kinda sucks you back, and thats totally understandable, but since you see what he is doing, the only person at fault is you because you are letting him suck you back. Im sure you love him with all your heart and he loves you with all his heart. It doesnt at all mean that you two haveto stop loving eachother or caring about eachother, it simply means that you need change, something new, something fresh and exciting.. Ofcourse you need to talk to him and inform him about all this, and at the same time NOT let him suck you back by making you feel guilty or by him saying that he cannot live without you, etc.. Dont tell him you want to meet new guys because thatll pierce him so bad.. Im sure you will know whwat to say.. Do not let him suck you back..
Love kristin
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Well i took your advise and i talked to her. We talked for a short time but we got a lot out. I learned lots of stuff that made me feel good inside. I tried not to show that i was too happy about the things she told me but i wish i would of told her more about how i felt. Im thinking about asking her to talk again. what do you think? thanks for your help (link)
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Yeah!! Definitely talk to her again... Just call her up and be like, "hey whut are you doing tonight?" and just simply ask if she wants to hang out, say that you feel like theres more you wanna talk about. Since she said things that made you feel good, Im taking that means she kinda said she liked you back maybe? So she would obviously be totally up for talking about it again.. Dont be nervous at all!!! Just totally be yourself and calm about it.. good luck
love kristin
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(16/f) Okay then. I told this guy named...let's say Joe, that I liked him. He knows and eversince, he's been acting werid around me. One day, he'll talk to me and its like he will never shut up, but other days he won't even look at me. I have never been more confused in my life over a friggin' guy. What is he trying to tell me? Should I stay away from him so not to piss him off or do I keep talking to him and let him have his little mood swings? Thanks in advance.
Signed,
Running around in confusion. (link)
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Hey, okay I think that ever since he found out that you liked him, it might have scared him off ALITTLE bit..Just alil. Maybe cause he doesnt have the same feelings for you, so he doesnt really care if you sees/talks to you. When you are around/when hes bored he talks to you because he has nothing else to do maybe. But when he is busy/occupied/doesnt see u around, its just like w/e in his mind you know? I think you shold get over him because I dont think he has the same feelings for you.. Thats just my opinion though
good luck
love kristin
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Okay, so there's this guy. We're sort of friends, but there's complicated issues between us. A while back, like in May/June, I liked him and he liked me, but we never went out or anything. Because of certain reasons I'm not willing to explain. Anyway, I've gotten over him and I really like this other guy. But whenever I talk to or see the guy I used to like (we'll call him Bob), I usually get butterflies in my stomach and get kind of nervous. Yet that doesn't happen when I'm around the guy I like now. And I really like this guy, I do not like Bob. Seriously, I am being honest with myself. But then how come I always get butterflies in my stomach when I'm around Bob? Does that mean I like him and I just can't seem to admit that to myself..? I seriously don't think I like him though. Arrgh, I don't know. The thing is, I don't even have a reason to like him. So what's the deal here??!!! (link)
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Well you arent getting the butterflies for no reason. I think that you prolly still have feelings for him hidden somewhere in your heart, but they arent big enough for you to notice them until you actually see his face and talk to him, so those lil feelings pop out. Thats prolly why.. Its okay though, they will eventually go away dont worry =]
kristin
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Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year. We have our own home and we are usually happy. BUT sometimes we fight. When we fight I get an urge that lasts a really long time. Sometimes I want to leave so bad, but I never do. How do I get the strength to leave somebody I love even if it is the right thing for both of us. ( I am 19 he is 27 ) PLEASE HELP (link)
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I know that must be a really tough thing to do, to just get up and leave.. But if you REALLY want and need to leave this guy, then that's the answer, just do it. I know how difficult that must be because of the love that is there, but when you know something is wrong that needs to be right, you gotta fix it. Im sure you know all that. What I would do if I were you, is sit down and take your time writing a letter to your bf explaining to him E-X-A-C-T-L-Y how you feel, you dont want to end up never talking to the guy again. Then talk to a friend and stay with her for a little while until you get your feet back on the ground. I know i know, easier said then done. But if you wait any longer, its just going to get harder and harder to leave. So the answer to your question is, just do it.
good luck! love kristin =]
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I've become pretty good friends with this guy and he's recently been dumped by his girlfriend of two months. Things had been deteriorating for a while but he still liked her. He's kinda into 2 of my best friends but still flirts with me too. One friend doesnt like him and shes gonna say no to him if he asks her out. The other friend wants to her him out but doesnt wanna hurt my feelings. I've been working up the courage to ask him out as well but I'm really confused. The friend who wants to ask him out doesnt really like him but theyre best friends and I really think theyd ggo kinda far. With me, I think he'd say yes but I am not sure and thats kinda being retarded, and I dont wanna be afraid of anything like that as I learned from the last relationship I was in. I dont wanna hurt my friends' feelings either but she wont give me an answer whether its okay to ask him out or not. I really like him and feel happier than Ive been in months when Im with him and he seems pretty happy too =/ Thank you =( (link)
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You sound like an awesome person, u really do. I mean compared to other girls questions who say like, "my friend and I like the same guy but I want him to like me not her!" n stuff like that i mean they sound really immature. I think that you have a lot going for you with this guy. The thing is though, its kinda like he gets to choose which girl he wants to date you know? And you want to be the one choosing who youre going to date. If I were you, I would kinda baCk off..I know that wOuld suCk, but you dont want to be just another girl trying to get with him you know? Or, if you dont want to do that, try and become like best friends with him. Like let him tell you his problems, etc, and try and help him out n stuff, and just get to be really close with him. Then I really think he would start to like YOU and he would ask you out you know what I mean?? I hope this somewhat helped..
love kristin
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