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Gender: Female
Location: Oklahoma
Occupation: student
Age: 21
Member Since: March 24, 2009
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Last Update: June 15, 2009
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My nickname is the "dateless wonder". I'm almost 16 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. I've never even been asked out. It's not that my parents don't let me date, is that no guy has ever approched me. I apparently scare people! IDK why, I've been called emo,cutter and druggy, but I'm not! My friends call me a Teddy Bear and say I act and look cute, but then I hear rumors going on saying that I'm scary! I am a flirt failure to boot. I don't like those kind of games, I'm straight forward and I apparently speak bluntly.... I don't know what to do! How can I be more approchable? I've been told by friends that guys have tried to flirt with me before, they would start walking up to me then suddenly turn away. Why do I repel guys? I really don't want to be single all of High School! Please help?! (link)
There are a number of reasons that perhaps guys aren't approaching you. Are you considered shy? People often see shy people as not easily approachable. If this is the case, try to break out of your shell and be more outgoing. Do you think you might come off as someone who does not have a lot of confidence? If so, you need to show that you have confidence in yourself and that you like yourself. Confidence (not arrogance, but confidence) makes people seem more approachable. Also, you don't have to wait for a guy to approach you. Sometimes guys (especially young ones) are too self-conscious to make a move, even if they might be interested. I don't see why you would "repel guys", unless you either are shy, seem to not like yourself, or perhaps you're just so darn pretty those guys don't think you'd be interested in them. Sometimes if you're just really open and show your personality (be extroverted!) guys will start to flirt with you because they get to see your personality and they like it. No matter what kind of personality you have, there are guys out there who like it. You just have to be open and very friendly so the ones who would like you know you're cool.


Male, mid 20's.

I'm not going to bore with details. Over half a decade ago, I met my first love, who after barely a year, tore my heart out and broke my confidence in myself. I attempted to repair the bond to at least be friends, with horrible results.

I thought I was past it all, but recent I ended up seeing her again, and it reopened the old wounds. More than half a decade since it happened, and I'm still hurt when I am either reminded of the past, or placed in a situation where I re-encounter her.

I'm starting to worry that I'm not well in the mind. I mean, I should be over it. And yet, this scar on my heart keeps getting ripped open at the slightest chance involving anything that reminds me of the past. Why can't I stop feeling hurt by this? (link)
There's nothing horribly wrong with you. Seeing the face of someone who hurt you so badly is likely to cause a strong response. First, forgive yourself for getting so upset about it. Don't think that you're not well in the mind, just do what you can to let it go. You need to find out how to get from hurting when you see her face to being indifferent. Obviously there is something inside of you that is unresolved in regards to your ex. If you have to, try writing about it in a personal journal. Try writing her letters that you'll never send. The reason you'll do this is that it will help you understand what you are still holding onto and possibly allow you to let it go.

More importantly, if you haven't already, you need to get your confidence back. You can't let this one other person dictate how you are going to feel about yourself. In fact, you shouldn't let anyone else dictate that. You have the right to feel good about yourself, so take it back. If you feel good about yourself, you should care less about her because you know you're worth more than that.

If you have the willpower, you can get over the past, but it might require delving into the past first to figure out why you are still holding onto it, then letting go regardless.


okay so,
i have had quite a few people tell me imma whore because im flirty..
i don't mean to be but it's my personality..
and i like to hug people&stuff.
i REALLY don't went this reputation ..
someone please help!
thanks to all who help me (link)
I'm sorry that's happening to you. It can happen for many reasons, but unless you are accepting money for sexual favors, you are not a "whore" and unless you are sleeping around with many partners, you are not a "slut". Sometimes girls are jealous of another girl getting a lot of attention. You may be getting attention for having a bubbly personality, but other girls get jealous because they are not the ones getting the attention, so instead of being more bubbly themselves, they think the best answer is to tear you down. Some guys see a girl that is bubbly paying attention to other guys, and get jealous because they wish she was paying attention to them, so they call her a "whore". There may be other reasons, but the point is that it isn't your problem, it's theirs. Throughout your life, no matter how you behave people are going to call you one thing or another. Just be yourself and be proud, knowing that you're not doing anything wrong. The only thing I would advise you to be careful of is other people's boyfriends/girlfriends (you didn't specifically say you were a girl, so I don't want to assume anything). You need to be careful not to flirt with somebody else's significant other, or even do anything that makes it seem like you're flirting. Other than that, don't worry too much about your reputation. Just be yourself and everyone else can deal with it.


This is gonna sound like a stupid question, but do guys really care about how much a girl weighs? i'm definiely not the skinniest person but i think i am really pretty. im also a really nice person, with a great sense of humor. but im 21 years old, and ive never had a boyfriend. so do guys really only care about looks? (link)
I am 21 as well and fluctuate between a (US) size 14 and a size 18 depending on how much I'm working out at the time, but I am one of the healthiest people I know. I've had to learn after years of struggles and failures to lose weight that I have to accept and love myself the way that I am. All the while of being this size, I have never been in the absence of men hitting on me. Not every man likes a plus size woman, but there are plenty of them out there who do. If you're not getting attention from guys, perhaps you are projecting the image that you'd like attention. You absolutely do NOT have to do anything promiscuous in order to get attention. That isn't what I mean. Just don't let your size get you down or make you think you're any less attractive than girls who are thinner than you. It might be hard to believe, but confidence makes a huge difference. If you want people to think you're attractive, you've got to project the image that you are attractive. So whatever makes you feel pretty, go ahead and do it. If that means getting a nice new top or getting your hair done, do whatever it takes to make YOU feel pretty. Somebody WILL notice.


There's a guy I have my eye on in one of my classes in college. I don't know if he sees me that way, but I have exactly one class period (which unfortunately will consist of taking a final, so there's no chance for conversation) left to get him to ask me out on a date (not pursuing a relationship here, just a chance to get to know him better). We spoke briefly a few times, and he's always really friendly. I sit behind him, so its difficult to talk to him, especially since my friend sits right next to me and he always wants to talk through all of our breaks.

Long story short, I was thinking of writing down my phone number with my name and giving it to him either before the final (but then he might read it, and I kind of don't want to be there when he does, its pretty embarrassing), or dropping it on his desk as I leave (but problem with that is he might be finished with the final before me, and I don't want to risk getting him in trouble if the teacher thinks its for cheating).

I don't know if I should do it though. When I hear of other people doing that the first word that comes to mind is desperate, which is honestly what I'm feeling at this moment. I just want him to know that I am interested and available, and he can either take advantage of it or not. I think what keeps him from pursuing me is 1) He thinks I like my friend and 2) I'm not sure how old he is, but he looks way older (23-30?), and if he really is that old he may think I don't want to pursue anything with an old fart like him (I do!, he's the kind of guy that I would hate for me to pass up, he looks like he would be a keeper for sure), I don't know if he is single, but he isn't married: there's no ring.

Anyways, should I do it? (Drop a note on his desk with my name and phone number). And if I should, then before or after the final (remember the pros and cons!)? And what are your opinions of girls that do this? If someone were to do that, would you call them or ignore the note because you thought they were desperate?

Background info:

I haven't done a good job of flirting with him (I have complained during the conversation, and looked down a lot, although I did smile at him a lot, and he smiles back).

I am 18/F

I am pretty and really friendly, so I don't think I've done anything wrong to make a bad impression except for the few complaints about homework).

Thanks so much for reading all this, I will rate accordingly, the more detailed you are, the better =) (link)
I do NOT think you should do it. You may really want this guy, but if you slip him your number on a piece of paper his impression of this probably won't be a good one. You want him to know that you're available and interested, but you don't want him to think you're desperate. If you do it, and there is any chance, it is highly likely that you will ruin that chance.

If he goes to the same school as you, what makes you think you'll never see him again? If you embarrass yourself to him, seeing him again is a bad thing. If you don't, seeing him again is an opportunity. If you go to a smaller college, it is even more important that you don't do it, because you're much more likely to see him again.

I know you want to do it, but wait it out. If you see him again, go ahead and flirt. Ask him questions about himself (not too much, like a creep), but that will let him know you're interested, or at least put a subtle hint out there to make him wonder. If he's interested in you, that should be enough to peak his interest.

Good luck.
--NoCandy


So I'll try to make a long story short.
Im 15. I dated this guy whos two years older than me for a year, and before we dated he always asked me if I was ready for commitment. & I thought I was. So Im 15, and I still wanna go out with my friends party and do what most teenagers do but most of my friends I party with are guys and even though I take girlfriends with me and promise on everything I wouldn't do anything, he still "can't trust me" which, I can understand because i've lied to him a lot in the past. So finally I got fed up, he got on my myspace all the time. When we would hang out he would look through my phone's text messages and if I deleted them, he would flip out saying how im "hiding stuff from him". So i broke it off.
It's been seven months.
I have a new boyfriend, I thought maybe
that would help me get over him. But,
I was wrong. very wrong. I can't sleep
because I think of this kid so much.

My boyfriend now is great.
but no guy is ever gonna replace him.
what do I do?







(link)
First of all, you need to break up with the boyfriend you have now. It isn't fair to him if he's trying to have a relationship with you and you're sitting around thinking about your ex instead.

I don't think you should go back to your ex either. He sounds a little controlling if he's going through your text messages and checking your MySpace.

If you want my honest opinion, it is that I think you should just continue to go ahead and go out with your friends like you would like to do. Hang out with your friends and don't try to get into a relationship until you are completely over your ex. It's okay to casually date a few guys, but you shouldn't get into an exclusive relationship. You're 15. Go have fun for right now. Let relationships come naturally and don't try to go out and find one. If you don't want to hurt the boyfriend you have now, let him down gently. You could keep seeing him and hanging out, but try telling him you're not ready for a relationship and that you don't want to be his exclusive girlfriend.

I hope this helps.


Im pregnant, and my boyfriend doesn't want the baby, neither do I, but he would like me to get an abortion, and I don't believe in that. What should I do?
(link)
You have other options. If you don't want to get an abortion, you don't have to. Don't let him pressure you into something like that. Check into adoption. Find out everything you need to do to put the baby up for adoption. Then take care of yourself. Even though it was your responsibility to be careful, as well as his, I'm sorry this happened to you.


i need to get over my ex. we dated for 9 months and he was my first love. he broke up with me on sunday but said he wanted to hang out alot over the summer and maybe if that spark came and fate brought us together we would date again but theres a really small chance so he told me to not get my hopes up. however i still want to stay really good friends with him, and he does too and he says he loves me more than a friend but not enough to be in a relationship with (can anyone explain that?) so my questions are
A.) how do i get over him?
B.) is there possibly ANYTHING i can do to reproduce that spark over the summer and remind him why he fell for me in the first place? (we also met during the summer of last year and started dating towards the end of the summer)
C.) what does he mean when he says he loves me more than a friend but not enough to be in a relationship with (like a protective brother?)

thanks soo much.
16/f (link)
A) I'm not sure how you get over him, but it does not involve hanging out with him all summer or trying to reproduce a spark. There's really no reason for you to wait around for him if he's not waiting around for you. I don't know if it's possible for the two of you to be friends. You can try. Occasionally, it does happen. But in order to remain friends, it has to be a situation where neither of you is bitter about the breakup.

B) There may or may not be anything you can do to reproduce said "spark". However, there's no point in trying if he doesn't want to. You don't want to try to drag him back into a relationship unwillingly. It'll only be bad in the end.

C)I don't mean for this to sound harsh, but my guess is that it means he wants you to wait around for him. It's quite possible that it means he does not want to date you, but doesn't want to see you date someone else. Perhaps he's not sure if he's making a mistake, and wants to make sure you'll be around if he changes his mind. That's just one theory, and I have no idea if it's anything close to right. If he actually SAID the "protective brother" thing, that is a little weird. That is kind of like saying he doesn't want to get back with you. If you say someone is like a sibling, that puts them "off limits".

A lot of this is just guesses, and may be incorrect. I only say it to give you some ideas. The only way you can really know is by talking to him more.

And about the prom thing. You should just do what he says. By that, I mean, if he says you're going as friends act like his friend. If he says differently, then you know you can act on that. That way, you're respecting him, and not crossing any boundaries. In that way, you're respecting yourself.


This is a letter that I wrote to him that I'm never going to send. It sums it up: (sorta long):


I don't know what to say. I don't know now, and I won't know tomorrow, just as I didn't know yesterday. I walk dutifully to the school everyday. I look for you, just to see you laughing, just to see you smile, just to see you talk, just to watch you warm my day. Yet, you never notice me. That one class is my exception. You sit right there, in front of me, walking perfection, yet I'm the only one who sees it. Kind to everyone, serious and smart, yet funny and sporty. Even, nice to me, the one who just sits there, who's NOT funny, and has little outer beauty. I could only hope that you would look at me. Yet, you do. Just seeing you keeps my hopes up. But I know you don't feel the same way.
Everyone has those times. You know, the awkward 5th grade years where you have a 'crush,' then 2 weeks later its someone else. I've been through it. I know what it feels like. But this is different. I'm head over heels, 100% in love with you. And its different from anything I'm used to.
Yeah, sure, you talk to me, to ask me about a science question, or if I know when the tests are. At least you know me. But I can't help to wonder that if you knew me better, you might actually like me. Outside of me- the crazy girl with skin problems on her forehead and chin, the one with the goofy smile that never goes away, the one that people say "Oh, I'm glad I'm not her" behind my back to- I'm typical. But inside, it's different. Oh lord, its different. Inside, I'm athletic, I love animals, I have 2 gerbils I adore, I do dance, I'm obsessed about clothing, and I'm afraid of weird things- like sitting on the outsides of places and golf. I'm beautiful on the inside, but my outside is warring with my inside. Maybe, I could be pretty, if my face healed, and I slapped on some make-up. Maybe, you could get to know me more.
I know you're not the type to judge by the outside, but I know your type. You like the sporty, funny, outgoing kind. I met your ex, and she's perfect. I'm sporty, I just don't want people to know. It's not what they would expect. I'm outgoing, people just look at me and shrug me off. And, I'm sarcastically funny. But people, again, wouldn't expect it. I keep me inside, I'm imperfect in every way.
You, on the other hand, are perfect in every way. You're out of my league. You're out of my reach. And I hate it.
If you were to see this, maybe you'd look at me differently. Maybe you would try to get to know me, instead of brushing me past like any other girl. Maybe, just maybe, you'd like me for once. (link)
I hate when people say somebody is out of someone's league. There are no leagues. Contrary to popular belief, dating is nothing like baseball. One person may run with a different social circle than another one, which makes dating more difficult, but it doesn't make it impossible. On the other hand, I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in some guy and think he is so much better than he really is. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but you deserve better than to think about some guy all day if he doesn't think about you.

It seems like you know that you're an interesting and worthwhile person, but it seems like you're still a bit insecure. That is the most important thing for you to work on right now. You need to feel better about yourself. If you do, the "guy problems" become easier.

This might sound absurd, but we actually teach others how they should treat us by the way we treat ourselves. If you act like you are a great catch and any guy would be lucky to date you, there's a good chance that a lot of guys will believe you! If you act like no guy would ever want to date you, no guy will. I'm not saying you need to be vain and conceited. You don't want to try to be a completely different person. You just need to be yourself and be happy with yourself. Your happiness is way more important than this guy.

One more thing: Don't compare yourself to his ex. Comparison is the thief of joy! You are unique. Celebrate it. You don't need to emulate anyone, you just need to show the world how cool you already are.

I hope this helps, and that I wasn't too far in left field (again with the baseball references!). Take care. --NoCandy


I'll keep this one short and sweet. I am a fourteen-year-old freshman girl. Well, I have a friend who apparently is bi-sexual, and asked out one of his friends who is a boy, and the friend said he didn't want to spoil their friendship, so it was dropped. But then, about a month later, my friend asked me out. Should I be insulted? I mean, I am in no way against gays or anything, but it is a little... I don't know. I do dress kind of boyish I will admit. I dress in zip-up hoodies that I find on sale in the men’s department, but I didn't know it was THAT bad. Should I take a hint, and change myself? Or, am I just over reacting?? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for the help! :) (link)
There is absolutely no reason for which you should be insulted. If anything, you should be flattered. It's just one more person who thinks you're a catch. You should not be prejudice against him because he "apparently is bi-sexual". Even if lesbians started hitting on you, you shouldn't be insulted. You should be yourself. I understand why you wouldn't want to date a bisexual guy, but it certainly doesn't mean that straight guys don't find you attractive.


I like a dude, and I'm a nerd. (He knows I like him by the way.) How do I get the guy to notice and/or like me? Thanks. :) (link)
You have to have the right attitude, and by attitude I mean lots of self-confidence. You say you're a "nerd", but there's no reason to slap a label on yourself. You're just as cool as anyone else. You should be able to just strike up a conversation with him. Think of it like making friends. If you don't have problems making friends with "dudes" then it shouldn't be a problem. Just tell yourself that you're just trying to make a friend, and act like you would making a new friend who is a guy, or even a new friend who is a girl. Don't act too interested. You say he knows you like him, but you have to make him wonder.


my boyfriend just broke up with me because he didn't want relationship stress but told me he wanted to be my best friend but it would take some time obviously for me to get over him. my prom is in 2 weeks and i have this friend that doesn't have a date. he's a really fun guy and id have fun with him but im worried ill ruin his night because i won't stop thinking about my ex boyfriend during slow songs and stuff. my ex boyfriend said he would still go with me and i still hope for that small chance he'll fall for me again and realize he made a mistake of breaking up with me...who do you think i should bring? (link)
I went to the senior prom with my ex boyfriend, and it was horrible. We were best friends before we dated, and for some reason thought it was possible to be best friends afterward. He said we'd go as friends and it would be okay, but it wasn't. It was terribly awkward all night and he kept hanging on me like he was putting on a show to make people think we were still together. I ended up hanging out with my girlfriends, while he ended up saying nasty things about me to his guy buddies.

I know everyone's situation is different, but from personal experience, I think you should go with your friend. You should have fun and just forget about your ex. When you catch yourself feeling sad, don't allow it. Just say "this is my prom and I came here to have a good time, so that's what I'm going to do."

If your ex is going to realize he made a mistake and want you back, he's going to do it, but you shouldn't have to do anything to make him realize it. Maybe seeing you having fun without him will make him jealous and realize he misses you. I don't know.

In the end it's up to you to decide who you'd like to go with. But if you think there's a chance your ex could ruin your big night, don't go with him.
Hope you fun at your prom... that's what they're for! --NoCandy


http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=561630
Well that was the question I submitted before. The thing is that me and this girl used to be good friends until a week ago when I supposedly "played" her friend around. I spoke to her, apologised to her in a large manner (writing a large essay!), she said everything was cool and told me that she's "willing" to talk to me IF I put in the effort, but when we used to talk, our conversations were dry, so I got rather annoyed and told her that "if I'm wasting my time trying to build back this friendship, let me know" and she told me, "there's no point in wasting your time, I don't want to talk to you".
I don't know what to do, I wanna get back with her, but she treats me like shit, so I want to get over her...help? thanks! (link)
Ultimately, it is your choice whether you get back with her or get over her. If you're going to be with someone you should be with someone who really wants to be with you. There is no point in trying to make someone want you if they don't, because their heart will never be in it. If you got back together, chances are she would still treat you like shit.

Usually when I see a friend get back with an ex in that way, it doesn't work out in the end, and somebody ends up getting hurt for a second time. I actually did it too once upon a time when I was young and stupid, and my ex that I got back with was so completely mean to me. I've never seen somebody get back with their ex and things work out. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but usually they are exes for a reason. Personally, I think you'd be better off to get over this girl. I could be wrong, especially since I am a stranger.

Someday, or maybe even in the near future, you will meet somebody who makes you wonder why you wasted your time with somebody who didn't treat you right. Why waste any more time?


Hi there. I'm an 18/M.

I have a big self esteem problem when it comes to girls. Normally, I am a really confident guy. Not scared to meet new people or speak to large crowds. But I have this problem when it comes to girls. See, when I meet a girl I like, instead of asking her out like a normal person would, I quickly idealize her in my mind to the point where I have convinced myself that she is way too amazing to ever want to talk to me. Then, because I have made her out to be so perfect, flawless, I stay in love with her for a year, or more, until I have completely destroyed my friendship and my chances with the girl. This problem has followed me through 13 years of school.

Now, I'm a Senior. Never had a girlfriend, and I'm doing it again with this amazing girl. How do I fix myself? (link)
I'm pretty sure most girls want to be treated as your equal. If you like a girl, make friends with her just as you would a guy. Show her respect by getting to know her. Go for girls that have a lot in common with you so that you have plenty to talk about, and have conversations about those common interests. If something besides friendship forms out of that, then go with it. If not, then the two of you just don't have chemistry. But if you keep doing that when you like a girl, eventually you will just hit it off with someone... then who knows what will happen next!


I'm 17 n a guy..well its been well over a year since me and my ex broke up, I still can't get over her! I find it really depressing, I can't seem to get the courage to find another girl to get with after my ex. I'm not sure if I can ever get back with my ex, but I want to try, without seeming desperate or anything. If I can't do that, can you help me find a way to gain courage and talk to and meet new girls?
Thanks, helps appreciated! (link)
At seventeen, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You need to go out and have fun and be seventeen. There's no use in getting depressed over a girl, because it's highly unlikely that you'll end up with her in the end. Hang out with your friends.

Don't be stressed about it. Just ask her if she wants to get back together. If she says yes, then I guess you get to give it another go. If she says no, you need to just get over her and realize you are so young and have a lot of life ahead of you.


My Name is Mark and I am 29 and my girl is 26 we have a 1 year old son, for the past few months or so i have not been getting any attention for her i tried to talk to her about it a few times and tell her i need her but she takes it like i am complaining about her,I try to be romantic and try to get some alone time but i get i am to tried or the baby this or i need to do that and after that there no time for me and if we do have sex its not good she just doing it just for me and i dont like that so my question to you is what do i do because i am close to seeking time from anthor women but i dont want to i love her so what do i do? (link)
Don't do it! There is absolutely no excuse for cheating EVER. Think of your entire relationship. Think of all the trust you have built up over time. Think of all the hard work you've put into the relationship, and then realize that if you cheat on her, your whole relationship will be destroyed. You may get over it, but things will never be the same. The relationship will never be as strong. The trust is gone. You may lose her forever... which if you cheat, you don't deserve a good woman.

All that aside, couples who have been together for a while often go through periods of not being intimate for a while. It's completely normal, although frustrating. Every now and then, you might find yourselves drifting apart a bit, but you just have to figure out a way to put a spark back in your relationship. Staying in a relationship takes work, but the rewards of a strong, lasting, loving relationship are worth it.

My advice is to stop thinking about your own needs for now and focus on her. Do something special for her. Buy her a gift for no reason. Shower her with affection. Offer to give her a full body massage, or something equally selfless if she wouldn't like that. Remind her you think she's beautiful and sexy and amazing and you love her. Perhaps you could plan a special weekend trip for the two of you, and hire a baby sitter for your little one. She will likely remember why she is with you in the first place and be more affectionate.


i already asked a question about this but its making me go crazy.
thankyou to the people who gave me advice
and i talked to my mom on the way to the store
and she blew up on me. again.
im 16 years old. and its normal to have a boyfriend/friends who are guys.
and hse wont except that.
my boyfriend (who i told her is just my friend, but she told me she thinks hes more than just a friend) she wont let me drive to his house this weekend
she told me next time i hangout with him, she wants to meet him. so i was being nice and i said that i could go pick him up (he lives abut 25 minutes away) and then i would bring him to my house to meet my parents. and she started yelling at me and stuff. and she wont let me do that. so im like ok whatever then i guess you will never meet him.
hes not the richest person in the world and i respect that, so he doesnt have a car and his parents wont let him take there car and shes like why cant he pick you up and i told her that and she thinks im making excuses and im not.
i honestly dont know why she is getting so mad.
shes lucky i even told her about him. shouldnt she be happy about that?
but no shes not. she has to be a total you know what about it.
and she keeps bringing up the fact that he goes to a school for bad kids. im happy with him. im the happiest ive ever been. and i dont understand why she cant just accept that and be happy for me.

(me and my parents dont talk about love life and stuff like that. so this is like the first situation ive been in like this with them)

what should i do? im thikning aobut just telling her im going to the mall and out to dinner with my friend but then id just go to his house. do you think i can get away with that?
sorry this is so long. but thanks for the advice! (link)
It may seem hard to believe, but your mom has your best interest in mind. You should be thankful that your mother cares enough to get upset when she thinks you might be in danger. She has a good reason to be worried... not that he's poor or goes to that certain school, but that she knows nothing about him and for all she knows he could hurt you in some way. It's a sad fact, but there are guys out there who will, so you have to be careful. For this reason, I would advise you NOT to lie to her and go anyway. Have you suggested to her that she ride with you to pick him up?


Im almost 19, and saturday my boyfriend broke up with me. He's 20 and honestly he was my first love. I dont know what to do, we were both crying so much, and he kept saying how much he still cares about me, and how he just does'nt want to be in a relationship, at all right now, and that he could be making a huge mistake, but he just does'nt know. but that he just needs time, that he wants to still talk to me, and hang out with me. I am so lost. it hurts so bad, but im just going to wait it out and see what happens.
but can you guys help me out, what can i do to make him want to work this out again? to make him miss me so much??? please help out with any advice.
(link)
You may think that what you need to do is "make" him miss you or "make" him want to work things out, but you can't "make" him do anything. Plus, would you really want him to be with you if he didn't really want to? I couldn't tell you what's going through his head right now, or exactly why he broke up with you, but chances are that he can't either right now. He's probably pretty confused and probably does need some time. Things may work out between you two, and they may not. You should get emotionally prepared for either possibility. In the mean time, do your best to not start fighting or being hurtful toward one another.

Honestly, I see two possible reasons for this, but that doesn't mean either are correct. They are only theories, and you shouldn't take them too seriously.

1) He is genuinely confused and needs time to figure himself out, get some space, and get his head on straight

2) He wants to see other girls for a while, because he isn't ready to settle down with one girl.

I know option 2 is harsh, but it's a possibility. I hope it's not the truth, though...


So my best friend goes to a different school than me, but she doesnt have a date to prom and shes soo distraught about it :/ like she basically hates life just because of this. i do have a date so im afraid of saying something that will make her mad at me or somewhat resentful.

What can i say to her to make her feel better? Or what can i do for her? like bring her ben & jerry's with a note or something haha.

i dont know, i just feel bad because shes so miserable and i feel like i cant help her :( (link)
If you want to be a good friend and help your friend have a good time, get a group of your friends together and go to the prom as a group. You can still go with your date, but get some friends that have dates and some friends that are going alone, both male and female. You could all go out to eat together before prom in your dresses (or before getting dressed up if you want). Take the emphasis off of having a date.

I understand if you don't want to do that for your friend. I understand if you feel like that would be sacrificing your good time... but if you think that sounds like it might be fun, I think it would probably cheer your friend up.

When I was a freshman in high school I wasn't going to go to the homecoming dance because I didn't have a date, but then a group of my friends said "Hey we're all going together and you're not the only one without a date!" I went with them (stag) and there were several of us that didn't have dates, and I had a lot of fun. Then junior and senior year I did the same thing with a group of friends. That time I had a date and some of my friends did not. It's just a suggestion, but I hope you'll consider it... especially if you don't want your friend to have a lousy time.


16/f
serious question and im looking for guys answers mostly. why cant you just like one girl? why do most of you have to been hooking up with alot of girls? i dont understand why one isnt good enough =( please help me understand. (link)
I am not a male, but I hope you don't mind if I offer you my theories. I'm pretty sure this will change as you get older. A lot of young boys are like this because they are still learning about themselves, they don't know what they like, and they don't want to get in a serious relationship. They want to feel good about themselves, and for many boys and men alike, this means they need to feel like many women want them. What better way to prove this to themselves than to be with as many women as they can? Also, a lot of them want experience so they can feel like they have more to offer. These are just my theories based on observation.




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