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Getting No Play At Home
My Name is Mark and I am 29 and my girl is 26 we have a 1 year old son, for the past few months or so i have not been getting any attention for her i tried to talk to her about it a few times and tell her i need her but she takes it like i am complaining about her,I try to be romantic and try to get some alone time but i get i am to tried or the baby this or i need to do that and after that there no time for me and if we do have sex its not good she just doing it just for me and i dont like that so my question to you is what do i do because i am close to seeking time from anthor women but i dont want to i love her so what do i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Don't do it! There is absolutely no excuse for cheating EVER. Think of your entire relationship. Think of all the trust you have built up over time. Think of all the hard work you've put into the relationship, and then realize that if you cheat on her, your whole relationship will be destroyed. You may get over it, but things will never be the same. The relationship will never be as strong. The trust is gone. You may lose her forever... which if you cheat, you don't deserve a good woman.
All that aside, couples who have been together for a while often go through periods of not being intimate for a while. It's completely normal, although frustrating. Every now and then, you might find yourselves drifting apart a bit, but you just have to figure out a way to put a spark back in your relationship. Staying in a relationship takes work, but the rewards of a strong, lasting, loving relationship are worth it.
My advice is to stop thinking about your own needs for now and focus on her. Do something special for her. Buy her a gift for no reason. Shower her with affection. Offer to give her a full body massage, or something equally selfless if she wouldn't like that. Remind her you think she's beautiful and sexy and amazing and you love her. Perhaps you could plan a special weekend trip for the two of you, and hire a baby sitter for your little one. She will likely remember why she is with you in the first place and be more affectionate.
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I agree with the below, its time for couples therapy.
Alot of awareness, hard work, dedication, and a large number of conversations can overcome this issue.
I would sit her down and tell her that what you're about to talk to her about is important to you, and you need her to listen. Tell her whats on your mind, not the cheating thing but just the frustration of not feeling wanted in the relationship. Tell her that you want to be able to talk to her about it openly and honestly, etc etc, and try one more time.
If she gets defensive, recommend couples therapy a few days later.
She needs to be able to have a discussion without resorting to defensiveness and she needs to care enough about whats going on in your head to actually want to listen.
If she doesn't want to work things out, thats a very big problem, and I'd say talk to a couple's therapist without her.
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OH NO!!! I SAID SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T WANNA HEAR! UH OH!! YOU SHOULD HAVE STATED IN THE QUESTION THAT YOU DIDN'T WANNA HEAR THE TRUTH. SUCK IT UP, REALLY.
I'm not sugar coating this.
If you love her like you claim you do, the thought of cheating should be the last thing on your mind. Wonderful, especially since you have a son.
how about couples therapy or marriage counseling? it works. if she wont listen to you, maybe she'll listen to an outsider of the situation.
She is having sex with you & she's doing it JUST FOR YOU. isn't that something? she's doing it to make YOU happy, and you dont like that. she's obviously not in the mood for sex, but still tries to please YOU but yet you say she's not giving you attention. maybe your son needs more attention than you do right now? you're talking about not getting enough attention from her, huh, that sounds like complaining to me. ever think that maybe now that you have a son, it's her first priority, and she's too tired to have sex everytime you want some? honestly you need to think about these things before you say crap like you wanna cheat. she sounds like an amazing girl and she's not being treated the way she should be.
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