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Long story short-
I dated my ex (my first love)for more than 2 years, got engaged, were soon to be married , did crazy things together which i might never do with anyone else.Then we hit a bad patch. His family thought I was not good enough for him, etc.We broke up. He came back, I took him.He left to a different country, we continued to be in the relationship. In one year after he left, his behavior changed, he met new people, started ignoring me etc. I called it off. He comes back to me,asks me to marry him. He promised to behave himself,to come for me in a few months and get married. I gave it one more chance, he goes back, same old behaviour. Lied to me, ignored me etc. I called it off. And moved on.I Found someone and am getting married in a month. Now he is back again after an year, and is begging me to marry him. He seems like he has changed. The arrogance is gone, sends me texts all through the day and in the night trying to convince me.I am in a fix. I know my ex is all wrong, he will go back on his word .
The one I am going to marry now is a research scholar and all that, more mature, good nature d ,trustworthy, respects me, families are happy,but he is not as interesting, spontaneous, passionate as my ex.I respect him , but I am not as passionate about him as I was towards my ex. Will I regret my decision to marry him? I'm scared . What do I do? (link)
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If you're not in love with someone, do not marry them. I mean LOVE. Like you're crazy about him. And if you're not! Don't get married. That's just common sense, I mean, I'm not telling you to go back to your ex, you should never have to be in one of THOSE relationships, but you should NEVER marry someone you weren't crazy, head over heels, couldn't stand to be without him, about. I mean, come on. Sort out your feelings and figure out what it is that you want to do. Never do anything just because it's "easy". That, in the long run, is never easy. You'll get divorced and by then, someone who you could have met now would already be taken, if you get what I'm trying to say.
Good luck with whatever you choose,
Have a nice day :)
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Me and my boyfriend first started datin in jube but we broke up in july and then we got back together in october. So everytime I'm around him or in the same room, I get/ feel nervous. Why? (link)
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There is no valuable information in the question for me to even remotely understand what it is that you're asking. Please, add to the question.
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there's this girl who is my boyfriends best friend..whenever he chats with her he'll be online but he'll reply me a bit late(not always)..they were very good friends and mostly everyone thought that they liked each other.. i cant tolerate that girl..i have told him that i don't like her..but still they talk and my boyfriend is bit childish..i cant tolerate that girl..she doesn't like him but i don't like their closeness..it makes me insecure. he says that i'm the most important person to him but i don't feel so..what should i do.. (link)
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Respect the fact that she was there before you were. If you can't accept that, just leave. And if you really have actual feelings for him, (Which realistically, you don't, because this question wouldn't exist if you did.) you would just talk to him calmly about it like a normal person. Don't be the jealous girlfriend. It's not attractive at all. He will eventually leave you because of it, so nip it in the bud now before it gets worse.
Good luck.
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Well, I have a few social problems I'd like some tips on. See, I'm a very shy girl (21 years), I can handle making small talk but only if the other person initiates it, and I'm lacking in any real friends, managed to make a few friends but none who I'd call and say let's go out or whatever. In short, i just have no confidence. However, my boyfriend is the opposite, he'll go out and make several new friends straight away, everyone knows him and he isnt keen on taking me out with him anymore because all I do is stay by his side as opposed to doing my own thing as his ex did.
So, can you give me advice on how to approach a total stranger and make conversation with them? to feel confident in myself to do that and any little advice tips on how to not use my boyfriend as a lifeline per say, so I want him to be able to take me out and then not worry or not have his friends telling him he's left me by myself for a bit too long and I'm just looking lonely. Thanks :) (link)
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Ask your boyfriend. He seems like a confident person, and he could help you.
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How should I approuch or discuss with my boyfreind the problem of him being distant and not opening up to me. He lives with me and is withdrawn and doesnt talk much to me.
He sleeps on the couch at least 3 to 4 nights a week and says its because he has problems sleeping.
Hes not affectionate, but says he does care about me. He is going thru a divorce and says he would rather keep details to himself. He has shared some but on a daily basis doesnt share much. (link)
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You didn't provide enough information...
I mean, you could always ask him, and tell him no matter what it is, you won't judge him or be mad because it's all said and done. Of course, only say this if its true, but I would start off by saying that to see what he tells me right then and there. And I don't know enough to say anymore but just talk to him and see what he tells you. If he doesn't share anything, give him time and show him your support. He will open up when he's ready.
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Hi,
My boyfriend and I are both 18 and have been together for almost 6 years now. He's not really the type to express his feelings and that really bothers me. Lately things have been getting quite bad, where I'll ask him questions that can simply be answered with a yes or no like, 'Do you want me to come over tomorrow?' He won't give me an answer, he will just simply reply with 'What do you want to do?' or, 'I don't know.' It's getting really annoying, it's like I'm talking to a brick wall! I do admit that I get angry with him when he does this, which most of the time starts a fight. I've told him I have a problem with this and that I need him to communicate with me and answer my questions and he agreed to try, but he hasn't and absolutely nothing has changed. It gets me so angry and I don't know how much longer I can take being with a brick wall! What should I do? (link)
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Ask him if there's any kind of attraction anymore between you two. See what kind of reaction it gets you. I honestly think that is a big part in a relationship.
If he loves you he would be trying. From what you've said, I don't think he is.
Ask him what the source is. Have there been any recent big changes in your relationship? Maybe that's your answer there. Maybe you have done something you're very proud of that he doesn't think is that cool, but he doesn't want to hurt your feelings? I don't know...
He could be feeling guilty of something. I would say to ask him, but that seems to be your problem, so I suggest therapy. They will be able to figure it out. Right now, he's a closed oyster. Therapy would be the boiling water to open him up a little. It would also help if you weren't so angry. You should show him that you're there for him no matter what. Be comforting.
I'm sorry if my answer sounds all over the place, but I am just putting all of my ideas together. If you have any further questions, you can email me at melanielovesdylanobrien, which is my personal email.
I hope I helped and good luck :)
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I am female and 14 years old This friend i hav she just started dating a ninth grader and he is older by a year and she is having dreams bout him. What does she do tell him or not? (link)
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Well, I would if I was her but it depends on what kind of dream it is. If its funny or ironic, I would tell him, because those kind of dreams aren't private or embarrassing if someone else heard it. But if its more personal like a romantic date or you know, something like that, unless they're very close and saying something like that wont scare him, then I wouldn't tell him.
So, depending on the dream, it's up to her.
I hope I helped :D
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I'm going to try to shorten this the best I can. It'll probably end up really long though..
Ever since the end of my freshman year I had a thing for my friend. He's 20 and I'll be 18 next month. I already graduated from high school and I'm about to go to the same college as him.
So pretty much, I've had a thing for him for 3 years.
We became really close my sophomore year. I had a boyfriend at the same and he helped me with some of those problems.
During my junior year we started texting a lot more. Eventually we told each other how we felt. It was complicated because we weren't sure what to do since he was leaving in January. He said we'd talk about it the next day, we didn't. We didn't talk about it for a couple weeks. I just thought he gave up on me and I became interested in someone else. Eventually I start dating someone else and he gets mad. We ended up becoming friends again though.
I had suspicions on my boyfriend cheating on me and I always went to him for help so he called me and we talked all night on the phone. He told me he still had feelings for me and he wished I was older so that we could be together, stuff like that. He said a bunch of sweet stuff.
Maybe a month later, while I was at their house, he and I hooked up. No sex, just making out and a little more.
After that, he ended up leaving and he'd text me a lot and call me and talk about his life in college. One phone convo ended badly though. He kept talking and talking..I can't exactly remember what happened. Then I said I was gonna go and he said, "Oh ok." I said, "Bye" He said, "I love you" I said, "Bye.." Afterward I ended up crying. I guess something he said hurt me. Then he texted me saying, "I'm so done with you."
We don't talk for 3 months and he texts me and he said that he needed time to grow up. So we became friends again.
He comes home during the summer, we hook up again like 3 more times.
He leaves, we stop talking. I start seeing someone else. Then he texts me again asking about the new guy. No mention of feelings or anything. Maybe a month later he asked if me and my boyfriend have made out. I said yes and he gets all upset. I was clueless.
From then on, we kept it as a friends thing. Until we start talking a lot more like 2 months ago. Like a week before he came home he told me that he still has feelings for me, he wants to try again, no games. I figured it was because he was lonely and his friends had girlfriends or he was homesick. So I kinda just blew that off then he came home and everything was cool. We'd hang out and all that. Then one day he gets so cold. He stops talking to me, hardly looks at me, doesn't text me or anything. I asked him what happened. He told me he didn't feel the same as he did before. I cried in the bathroom for like an hour..
I didn't talk to him for maybe two weeks. Then he texted me saying he missed me. Then we become friends again. We ended up making out again like 2 weeks ago.
At this point, I'm not sure what to do. He hardly texts me and I feel like it's going to be the same thing again. We probably talk like once or twice a week. I feel like I'm in some dramatic movie. I know I should probably call it off but I don't have the guts to do it. I care about him way too much. I haven't texted him, I'm really stubborn.
We're going to the same school at the end of this month. Should I just wait and see and not text him? I don't want to make myself look like I want him if he doesn't want me. I'm thinking maybe he texts me and we start reminiscing about our past, I'll say that I don't want to mess around anymore. I want something more serious.
Idk..and this whole thing between us is a secret. I'm really close to his family..they only know we use to like each other 2 years ago. So I really don't have anyone to talk to about this.
Sorry it was so long. I felt the need to explain everything so you could get a better picture of him and how he is. (link)
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I totally agree with the last person on every way. I couldn't have said it better myself.
One thing to add though;
Don't think "what if". Stop. Be confident, put your damn foot down and go talk to him seriously and like the adult that you are. Don't text him. Do it in person, the DAY you get there. Don't let him slip out of your fingers. He has told you he's had feelings for you, and you treated him as if you didn't care. Don't do that. It will make him want to get away from you. You're causing him to lose interest. It wa because of your own lack of confidence. Do something to boost your confidence right before you talk to him.
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I'm a 20 year old girl and I've found myself in what seems to be a fairly unique situation... I've recently made a guy friend, who was limited to being a friend since day one because he made it very clear he was interested in one of my friends(very much my opposite).Our friendship got really strong really quickly.But I'm not sure where the boundaries are, I find myself attracted to him, and its not helping that we sometimes sleep in the same bed. If he didn't constantly remind me of how much he likes this friend of mine, I would have though he was flirting... We talk all day, most days, and I spend every free hour with him... There's a constant sexual tention, but that might just be from my side.Really hoping there's someone who understands this situation. Thanks :/ (link)
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I really don't have enough details here, but I think he is just playing mind games with you. He's probably one of those sick men who get off doing stuff like that. And what? Sleeping in the same bed? Definately not enough details in that area to help at all. You should add more information and then I'll edit this answer. I really would like to know what is going on, I'm interested lol and this sounds familiar.
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ok here goes nothing.. ok me and my finance have been dater ang on an off for 3 yrs. and just last night i asked him about his daughter an wanted to search her on facebook but don't have one. ok now i asked him about the mom and that's when things changed.? he didn't want to tell me about her.and i was wondering whatsb up with this . i mean i don't know what to think . i jst knnow he's very nice to me and gives me the world . i just don't know what to think. please help . thank you delores i'm 43 female and he is 38 male i from the united states i am an american. (link)
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Just say once and only once that whenever he's ready, to tell you when he wants to and that he can tell you anything and that you won't make fun of him or judge him and leave it at that. Don't bring it up again. That will just annoy him. When he tells you, and I'm sure he will at his own time, then there you go. I'm sure it's not so bad that he can't trust you with it I mean aren't you his fiancé? You should be able to tell each other everything anyways so just say that. And make sure you don't keep asking! Do NOT do that, horrible idea.
Good luck being patient lol
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The guy I've been off and on with for 3 years (mostly on with a few breakups)is not the perfect guy for me in just a few ways. All these ways have nothing to do with personality. He is addicted to rescription pills and just about any drug when he gets in his lows. I've constantly tried to help him but he always pushes me away and then comes back.Fact is, I was probably enabling him more than helping him back then.
Last time he relapsed (a month and a half ago) after going 90 days clean and being in rehab, I figured enough was enough and ended it. He keeps coming back here and then saying he still loves me. And it sucks cause I still am SO in love with him but know I can't be with him.
I'm just hoping for some advice on moving on. I know the first step is accepting the decision to and I'm having trouble doing that. I keep wishing that he would just get clean and we could be together. This guy is like perfect for me personality wise. We click so well and only ever fight about the drugs. Plus we have an insane physical attraction that I'm also missing :/ I feel like I'm never gonna get through this. I just really really crave to be happy again. I can't stand this pain :( (link)
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Well, since everyone here is going to tell you to leave him, I'm gonna help you with ACTUALLY doing just that, because neither of the others realized that you were asking "I want to know how" and not "but I don't want to..." so here it is:
I'm 14 & I have never had a boyfriend :) but I do know a lot about getting over someone. I have a big crush on this guy and he got a girlfriend THE SAME F***ING DAY THAT I WAS ABOUT TO ASK HIM OUT!!! So, to get over that guy, this is what I did. I sat in my room, with my computer off, phone off, tv off, everything off except the light. I sat there and I just meditated, and left only 1 thought in my head: him. Jeremy. Then as I closed my eyes, I started to see some really AHEM attractive guys that I knew running through my mind and I'm not saying that I started to like those guys but they got my mind off of him. It reminded me that there were hotter and more loyal and trustworthy than Jeremy. After a couple of days, it had an effect. After about a little over a week, I was over him. After the first couple of times meditating, I just sat and thought about why it was I actually liked him. I focused on the "why" and not the "why not" like I used to. It will take longer for you of course because you used to be with this guy and not admiring from afar but I'm confident that it can still work for you. :) Besides, the same thing happened to me with another guy only a month ago and it still works for me! so yeah... My life sucks.
Don't give up on yourself, & of course don't give up on him, but that doesn't mean that you get back with him. That is the worst thing you can do now. You would be showing him that he can manipulate you. You don't want that, trust me!!!
So there you go, and I hope you try this made-up-yet-fool-proof trick of mine. I wish you the best of luck :)
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Me and a group of friends decided that me and a guy would pretend date to pull a prank on his sister. She's really nosey and gives him no privacy, so I figured I would help him out and teach her a lesson on minding her own buisiness. (I am close friends with the sister) But a problem came along... I fell for the guy. Like I don't even think of it as pretend dating anymore. What do I do? (link)
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I think you should tell him that you like him. But make sure you pick a good time. You might want to wait until you can see that he doesn't think it's pretend anymore either. Trust me, it's like a huge load off your chest. Listen to your heart on this one. (meaning, decide for yourself whether you should or shouldn't) Things like that usually end the same way. The "pretend" couple usually ends up falling for each other. But if this is not the case, don't worry. His loss. And it might get awkward between you two
You might also want to make sure you like him because you're attracted, not just because you're already being put into the situation of being a couple, and you get all these feelings that aren't really there, if that makes any sense. To do this, sit down somewhere, close your eyes and think about him, what you like about him. Think past what you do as a pretend couple. That will show you if you truly like him.
Good luck :)
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Alright well my boyfriend or fiance I should say, has dedicated a few songs to me, so I need some for him and I need a good nickname for him too, his nickname for me is "Boo" and he wants me to come up with a nickname for him, but I can't think of a good one that suits him...
we've been together for about 8 months now btw
He's real sweet, he's understanding, he's caring, he's funny, romantic, very athletic, just plain out amazing :3, tall, has brown eyes, brown hair and his eyes sparkle whenever he sees me :) oh and he's 15 almost 16.. (link)
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Well I would sing either;
Jump then Fall - Taylor Swift
You and me - Lifehouse
Anyone else but you - Moldy Peaches
Mine - Taylor Swift
So Listen - Cody Simpson
As for the names, I would pick something that describes the way you feel about him or something that comes to your mind when you think about him. Let these things just pop into your head. You can't force things like this. But for the songs, it's a bit harder to do that.
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Well,Im 14 and me and my boyfriend have already spoke about how we feel for eachother and how we want to spend our lives together,i know many say your too young to be thinking about it let alone discussing it,But we really love eachother and he said if we last a few more weeks he will propose to me. Honestly i don't know what to do,i mean i love him alot and weve been together for a while now but im not to sure how to react.i dont know wether to say yes so we have a long time to talk about our future or say no and deal with it when were a btit older.Any ideas? (link)
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Answer him honestly. Say what you wrote here. Tell him you don't know what to say. Be as real with him as possible. If you really like eachother enough to be talking about things like this so openly, he will understand. I'm 14 too, and that is exactly how I would react. You don't want him to be confused or have the wrong idea about anything, especially now.
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I feel so lame for seeking out advice on something like this at the age of 20, but I don't know where else to turn. My family friends have this cousin who I am completely and utterly in love with, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know if he would ever bother giving me a chance, or if I'm wasting my time because he is so close with my brother that he would never want to screw up their relationship. It's literally to the point where I can't even date anyone else because he's all I think about and I don't want him thinking that I want anyone else. Help! (link)
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To askjane:
She didn't say it was HER cousin. She said it was a FAMILY FRIEND'S cousin.
To the person who asked the question:
Why don't you just tell him? There's nothing wrong with telling a guy how you feel, as long as he doesn't have a girlfriend already. Please, don't make the same mistake I made by not expressing your feelings. It will spare you a whole lot of confusion and frustration.
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I'm 17/f. I see all my friends have long-lasting relationships and they go everywhere with their boyfriends and they're happy. I've never had that. My "relationships" were all about sex pretty much. I have quite a past of guys that I thought made me happy, but really I look back and I've never had a good relationship. I'm attractive, have a good personality, have a promising future, and I can get along with any type of person. What's wrong with me? I'm almost 18 and I'm sick of feeling like I've been used.
I honestly don't even want a relationship with sex in it because I'm sick of it. I've never been on a date and I've never had a fun time with a guy that didn't involve sex. And thinking about it makes me mad. Why can't I have that? I want to stop doing the same things.
And now I like another guy and I have a bad feeling that it will turn out the same as my past relationships. How can I have a good relationship with someone? Please help. Thanks in advance. (link)
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Look at yourself before you feel bad that you can't have the same thing as your friends. Look at the way you dress and how you present yourself. "The way you act is the kind of guy you attract." You can't just go on saying oh god why all the time. You have to do something. Always do this; if there's something that confuses you, as in why you have different experiences than your friends, then you have to look at yourself. You're doing something wrong, not the guys youre attracting. You are what they look for, so if your ass and tits are out, then put them away and start atracting the good guys that you want.
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I was having a purely sexual relationship with a young guy who had just come out of a five year relationship (he ended it). He slept over practically every night since the first time we hooked up for about a month. He cried in front of me, he held me all night, the only thing he refused to do is go out. We seemed happy in our time one on one though. This made me fall in love with him but he only wanted friends with benefits. So he stopped pursuing me the moment I said I love you and we had some drama but then we reunited on Monday night - went out and had a casual night by the lake. It also happens to be the same day he saw his ex for the first time since their phone breakup and he ended it in person and had the talk with her. When he walked me home that night I'd never felt so close to him. He also requested we take a picture together and I sent it to him on his phone. When he walked me home he said he didn't just want to walk me home he wanted to stay over and we had an incredible night. We had sex twice more in the morning on Tuesday before I left for work. I didn't get a text or a phone call until Friday! He texted "what's up?" at 1:30 in the morning. I didn't get it until Saturday morning because I was asleep. Told him I was going to yoga and to have a good day. Now it's Sunday (and a long weekend so we both have Monday off) and I haven't heard from him at all. I'm afraid we're in a no contact zone. What happened??? (link)
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He used you, that's what happened. Don't you see? He didn't want to be with you, he just wanted friends with benefits. He used you as a crutch to get over his ex. Now he's done with you. Those kind of guys are assholes. My advice to you is, pick different kinds of guys than that to fall in love with, not someone who will use you as a rebound. I hope you can learn from this, because this sounds like a virgin losing her virginity to an asshole who avoided her after he got in her pants.
Good luck
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I am talking to this girl she likes me and i like her but i know i can do better there is this other girl who is much prettier and i think she like me but im not sure i can get her if i tried and shes really fun what should i do? (link)
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Really?
Stop talking to the girl you're talking to because you don't deserve her.
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Ok so, I've been dating/dated this girl for over a month. It took off pretty fast, we only talked for 3 weeks but we spent a lot of time together and did so much for each other those 3 weeks. She actually asked me out on a surprise picnic. Well anyways to the problem, she recently got to thinking about her future since she will be graduating soon and doesn't know exactly where she wants to go to college but when she does go she wants to be single. This all happened last Saturday and I took it pretty hard but I want her to happy. Then this past Friday, she called and we talked more about it. She said that her heart was telling her that she needed to be independent for awhile, it had nothing to do wit me at all. She still wants to talk and stuff and she still really likes me. But what do I do? Should I be there for her and wait or just let go? (link)
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Listen to your heart. I cant stress this enough. Sometimes you have to listen to your brain, other times with your heart. This is one of those times. You should ask yourself this question. If you think you should keep in touch, do just that. Also, talk about things when you have a problem with anything. I'm slowly learning to do that more often myself. I notice that I do feel better afterwards.
BUT if anything you choose to do is out of greed or insecurity, then DO NOT do it !!! Get over her, if this is the case, because for a lot of people, insecurity is a bright-red flag.
If you want to wait, then wait. Again, this is a question for you to ask yourself. We can't decide for you because we don't know what you're feeling.
Good luck !!! I hope I helped or at least made you smile, or something
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I've told my boyfriend i wanna be fingered by him but i'm reallu scared about it as i'm only 12 but i do really love him but i don't wanna be fingered now, how do i tell him? (link)
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Hmm... where to start...
OK I got it:
1) Why don't YOU finger yourself? Have you ever thought of that? You might even like it better than when your "boyfriend" does it after a couple tries (of you doing it) because if he does it and it's the first time your clit has ever been touched (if you don't know what a clit is, you're not ready) you WILL not like it because of how inexperienced you both are with your body, you won't know what you like and don't like, assuming that you don't masturbate.
2) Don't do it !!!!! He will lose interest in you, break up with you, tell everyone, whether it's only his best-friend that he tells and then his best-friend tells everyone, or if he directly tells everyone, and you will be called a slut (I'm not calling you a slut I'm saying your classmates will) and probably commit suicide if it bothers you to that extent.
3) The reason why I say "boyfriend" is because he will leave you once you show him how easily he can get into your pants. He will not respect you.
4) You THINK you love him, but you don't. I've been there, I had a "boyfriend" when I was in 3rd grade who bought me a present. It was a really pretty and probably very expensive necklace. One day one of my friends told me he was going to break up with me for one of the school sluts. I got mad, and threw his necklace in the trash. A while later in the class that I had with him, he asked me why I wasn't wearing his necklace and that he wanted it back. I lied and told him that I had given it to my mom as a birthday present. He was smart not to believe me and I said OK then check the trashcan! He got mad at he and said "You know what?" and the rest I can't repeat (yes all of this happened in class and the teacher yelled at the crowd of people around us and us to sit, and yes I was about 8 or 9 years old). That was my first heartbreak. I really "loved" him and he was just using me to make another girl jealous.
5) When you've made the (MOST STUPID) decision to do anything sexual with a boy before you're married (unless you're older, like an adult, and you live with him, met his parents, etc.) and you know that he loves you for you and not because you have let him touch you, then that would be OK, in my opinion.
I just hope that you don't regret any of your decisions. I hope you end up happy with whatever you choose, and good luck!
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