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I told my boyfriend i wanna be fingered but i'm not sure now how do i tell
I've told my boyfriend i wanna be fingered by him but i'm reallu scared about it as i'm only 12 but i do really love him but i don't wanna be fingered now, how do i tell him?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hmm... where to start...
OK I got it:
1) Why don't YOU finger yourself? Have you ever thought of that? You might even like it better than when your "boyfriend" does it after a couple tries (of you doing it) because if he does it and it's the first time your clit has ever been touched (if you don't know what a clit is, you're not ready) you WILL not like it because of how inexperienced you both are with your body, you won't know what you like and don't like, assuming that you don't masturbate.
2) Don't do it !!!!! He will lose interest in you, break up with you, tell everyone, whether it's only his best-friend that he tells and then his best-friend tells everyone, or if he directly tells everyone, and you will be called a slut (I'm not calling you a slut I'm saying your classmates will) and probably commit suicide if it bothers you to that extent.
3) The reason why I say "boyfriend" is because he will leave you once you show him how easily he can get into your pants. He will not respect you.
4) You THINK you love him, but you don't. I've been there, I had a "boyfriend" when I was in 3rd grade who bought me a present. It was a really pretty and probably very expensive necklace. One day one of my friends told me he was going to break up with me for one of the school sluts. I got mad, and threw his necklace in the trash. A while later in the class that I had with him, he asked me why I wasn't wearing his necklace and that he wanted it back. I lied and told him that I had given it to my mom as a birthday present. He was smart not to believe me and I said OK then check the trashcan! He got mad at he and said "You know what?" and the rest I can't repeat (yes all of this happened in class and the teacher yelled at the crowd of people around us and us to sit, and yes I was about 8 or 9 years old). That was my first heartbreak. I really "loved" him and he was just using me to make another girl jealous.
5) When you've made the (MOST STUPID) decision to do anything sexual with a boy before you're married (unless you're older, like an adult, and you live with him, met his parents, etc.) and you know that he loves you for you and not because you have let him touch you, then that would be OK, in my opinion.
I just hope that you don't regret any of your decisions. I hope you end up happy with whatever you choose, and good luck!
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im not going to tell you not to or do it cause it is not my place. but your here to get an opinion . so i say if you feel like your not ready then dont do it. first of all you are young so like most young people most of them dont really understand love yet... (some teens do but not alot of them). you should just tell him that you are not ready for that. it seems small and harmless but it means alot to you that you feel happy and ready to do somthing like that. just my opinion.
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Don't do it. I dont even know how to convince you not to because you're too young to even begin to understand the serious effects this will have on you when you get older. You came on here for advice, and there is a VERY good reason everyone is telling you NOT to do it. Even if you don't understand it now, you will some day. And trust me, I know you think you love him, but in a few years you will realize you didnt actually love and you will REGRET doing this. If you do, you're going to make more problems for yourself. TRUST ME.
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There is a reason you are scared: Your body and subconscious mind are telling you that you are not ready for this. You are way to young to even be thinking of sex. Relax you have plenty of time to have boyfriends and to consider when to have sex when you are older and mature enough to both understand what your doing and to enjoy it.
Right now you are way to young. If you think you need to do this to keep your boyfriend and to make him happy you are wrong. Never, never ever trade sex for companionship. When you are older you will better understand this but sex is not a commodity that you trade for anything; be it money or companionship. When you do something like that it is prostitution. Prostitution by definition is the trading of sex in return for something of value. In the some cases the value is companion ship. Prostitution and being a whore are two different things, by definition.
There is something else to consider. Young boys cannot keep a secret. Your boyfriend will tell someone, most likely his best buddy, you let him finger you. He will tell someone else and the next thing you know you will have a reputation around school. Is this something you want? Once you get that reputation you will have a hard time living it down if you ever do.
If you were my daughter at 12 I'm not sure I would be allowing you to have a steady boyfriend. I would want you to be more group involved at this point in your life. Do more mall dating in groups. Go rollerblading, Ice skating and things like that.
I would warn you about boys going through puberty and how they are hard wired for finding sex. How they confuse lust for love at this age. How they are unable to keep secrets and how they chase after girls with reputations to get what others say they have gotten. How do I know this? I was once a teenage boy? Nothing has changed and ever will change about teenage boys.
My advice: Forget about letting him finger you. If you feel it is right to hug and kiss fine do so. Make him either keep his hands to himself or at the very least above your waist line until you are much older. Also keep you pants and panties on for your own well being.
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You are 12 years old, You are not ready.
Why are you even thinking about sex? You are not mentally nor emotionally mature enough. Wait a few years until you are at least in your late teens. Never let someone pressure you into doing something. Again, You are too YOUNG
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Like the person below me said, you are only 12.
Please enjoy this time in your life! Now that I am older, I miss times where guys didn't expect you to do sexual things. You have the rest of your life to do that, there is no rush now.
Your body is young and not fully developed, so you won't enjoy fingering or sex as an older woman would. And your young boyfriend probably won't know how to do it so you can enjoy it.
If you're scared, you absolutely shouldn't do it. Like I said, there is no rush. You should feel completely comfortable, or you will regret it.
If your boyfriend tries to do anything, stop him and tell him you just arent ready. Say it has nothing to do with him, you just don't feel right about it yet. If he REALLY loves and cares about you, he will accept that answer and wait until you are ready. If he tries to push you, he is only in the relationship for the sex.
To keep him from trying anything, I suggest group dates and going to public places. Kids your age shouldn't be hanging out alone anyway.
-Abby
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Don't take this the wrong way, but you are 12. You are way to young to even be thinking about doing sexual things. Fingering leads to sex; and sex can sometimes lead to pregnancy. You are way to young to be pregnant.
You need to just tell him, that you said it out of desire and once you thought about it, you realized that you aren't ready for it yet. Ya'll are too young, and I don't want to see you ruin your life. You have a bright future ahead of you!
If you are worried that he will leave you, than thats okay. If he leaves you that shows that he doesn't love you the way you thought he did, and that sexual things are the only thing he was after.
Good Luck!
Need anything else feel free to inbox me.
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