Member Since: November 25, 2011
Answers: 6
Last Update: November 25, 2011
Visitors: 945
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24/f, my boyfriend is 23/m.
Please don't think I'm ungrateful, it's just that I'm... not used to being treated well, or being appreciated.
I've been in two abusive relationships, one right after the other. My last ex liked to buy me things out of the blue, but somehow always held it against me (e.g. "I got you [blank] and you didn't [blank]! How could you be so ungrateful?"). The guy before him never gave me anything without getting or wanting something in return.
My current boyfriend is beyond wonderful. He somehow treats me like a princess and an equal; we don't play mind games with one another, and I really trust him, which is surprising, given my history. He loves to get me little things to make me smile. For instance, he picked up on me feeling kinda down one day, so he showed up after work with a stuffed animal, saying he thought I could use a fuzzy pick-me-up. I know, "why the heck would anyone complain about that?" But that's part of my confusion...
I feel so... strange about taking presents from him. He talks about all these things he wants to give me, and it's sweet, but it's not practical.
It also frustrates me a little, because while he's living with his parents, working part time, and able to spend his money however he likes, I'm living on my own; I have a cat to take care of, I'm working full time, have medical problems, and can barely pay my own bills. There's so much I want to do for him; so much I want to give him, but I can't. He understands perfectly, so far, but I guess I'm a little afraid he'll start holding it against me, or something.
I haven't mentioned any of this to him yet... I'm not really sure if I should, or how to do so.
What should I do about this? Should I even do/say anything? Or is it time for me to shut up and enjoy a healthy, happy relationship? Is this part of a healthy relationship? After my ridiculous past and boyfriends from hell, I'm not sure I know anymore.
Help a girl out? :) (link)
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24/m
Its time for you to shut up and start enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. haha. Don't even talk about it with him. For what i've read you don't even have a problem. I know you're feeling guilty about not returning the favor, but take it from me, some guys just like giving their girlfriends gifts to show them how much they care about them and dont expect anything in return. You're guilt is coming from that first relationship where the guy made you feel bad about not returning favors. This guy sounds great. You should consider yourself lucky theres not alot of guys like us out there. The only thing he wants in return is for you to let him know how much he means to you. If you ask him to stop giving you things hes gonna take it personally and you're gonna create a problem out of nothing. Just leave it alone. If its not broke dont try fixing it.
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18 f
i have an on-going flirtation with this one guy that i go to school with. we openly flirt and will most likley hook up within the next month. i know he thinks im attractive and all but he recently said that i was a 9, as in a 9 out of 10. i dont know whether to be flattered that he gave me such a high number or insulted that he doesnt think im a 10. any opinions on this would be great.
thanks! (link)
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Dont take this personally.
9 is the best answer you can get. 10 means hes just trying to get into your pants, and you're not a 10. no girls are 10s if youre talkin about just looks. Just remember there are 8 other numbers he could have rated you with and be happy it wasnt one of them
you're thinking into this way too much, to be asking for advice. Just be happy that he likes you.
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do girls get pregnant without losing virginity???
please tell. (link)
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Unless you're talking about the virgin Mary, the odds of that happening are extremely rare. If you know a girl that is pregnant and says shes still a virgin, theres a better chance shes lying to you.
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I've told my boyfriend i wanna be fingered by him but i'm reallu scared about it as i'm only 12 but i do really love him but i don't wanna be fingered now, how do i tell him? (link)
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Don't do it. I dont even know how to convince you not to because you're too young to even begin to understand the serious effects this will have on you when you get older. You came on here for advice, and there is a VERY good reason everyone is telling you NOT to do it. Even if you don't understand it now, you will some day. And trust me, I know you think you love him, but in a few years you will realize you didnt actually love and you will REGRET doing this. If you do, you're going to make more problems for yourself. TRUST ME.
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I'm talking to this guy, and he likes me so I want him to really feel it! I want to get him hard, but how do I do it over a phone conversation?? (link)
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Try texting something dirty first. You won't have to worry about any awkwardness over the phone if it doesnt pan out the way you wanted it to.
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15,female (link)
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24, male
Well if you're 15 I can tell you the guys your age have no clue what they really want. At your age most BOYS really like the pretty, attractive, popular girl. Thats just how it goes in high school. Social status is a big deal to pretty much everyone your age. All the guys your age want to be popular and dating one of the popular, good looking girls is gonna make them more popular or keep them as one of the popular kids. Its gonna take 4 or 5 years for most of these guys to mature and realize its not all about the looks and social status. Im not saying all of the guys your age are like this but the majority of them are. The biggest thing on their mind is sex. Most of them havent had it yet and its a huge deal to all of their friends when one of them does it.
You should be asking yourself what kind of guys do i want to attract? If you're looking for a boyfriend, someone to go on dates with and cuddle with and all of that good stuff without having to worry about him pressuring you to have sex, dont go for the popular guy whose dated all the hot, snobby girls. Odds are hes going to be concern with keeping his social status up. Look for a guy you're attracted to outside of the popular click. He's not worried so much about impressing anyone. I know he might not be the hottest guy in school, but hes probably a better person. And once you get out of high school you'll realize looks are far less important than personality.
And another thing about looks that I can attest to is, you're gonna be really surprised in 5 years when you see all of your friends from high school out. That chubby nerd from 1st period you never found attractive is gonna look alot better than he did in high school. Same goes for girls. I know plenty of girls that look ten time better now than they did in high school, and those are the good one. So if you're like most girls in high school and you think you're ugly or fat or whatever, you're not. In 5 or 6 years you're going to look back at relationships in high school and laugh. I know that seems like a long time from but trust me, 5 years from now guys are going to be looking for something completely different. (most of them)
I dont know if this helped at all but I hope it did.
This is the best advice I can give you: find out what is really important to you and stick by it. Be a good person, don't take anything in high school too seriously, These years of your life are going to shape you into the person you're going to after high school. People will know you for who you were not for who you are. And as lame as it sounds, focus on school and hobbies. Some of those popular girls I knew in high school are now, not everything they were made out to be back then.
I was in your shoes 9 years ago, and i followed the same advice I gave you, and I cant tell you how good it felt shutting down one of the hot, popular girls that shut me down in highschool 5 years later. You'll be alright. Just dont be fake.
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