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Not sure if my best friend is my friend, or my crush?
I'm a 20 year old girl and I've found myself in what seems to be a fairly unique situation... I've recently made a guy friend, who was limited to being a friend since day one because he made it very clear he was interested in one of my friends(very much my opposite).Our friendship got really strong really quickly.But I'm not sure where the boundaries are, I find myself attracted to him, and its not helping that we sometimes sleep in the same bed. If he didn't constantly remind me of how much he likes this friend of mine, I would have though he was flirting... We talk all day, most days, and I spend every free hour with him... There's a constant sexual tention, but that might just be from my side.Really hoping there's someone who understands this situation. Thanks :/
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
USUALLY, though I'm not saying that this applies in this case, guys who hang around a particular girl a lot want that girl in an intimate way. Guys are all about the destination while girls are more about the journey, so, ordinarily, every guy does things geared to reaching an end as soon as possible, which, in this case, SHOULD be and NORMALLY is, getting in your pants.
Nonetheless, it could be that he's playing you off against your friend, perhaps trying to make the friend jealous so that she'll make the big move on him and he won't have to risk rejection by going for her on his own initiative. The guy can, after all, truthfully say that you and he have "slept together" in a literal sense even though no sex has occurred. And in my experience, when a guy is perceived as already being hooked up he tends to get hit on more by girls due to factors of a perceived lack of availability, competition between females, etc.
You also have to look at it this way,too: guys and girls often hide parts of their real selves in the early stages of dating because of fear that the other person will find those things distasteful, unusual or not a match or whatever. That you and he have communicated to such a degree that you feel that close to him that early on tells me that he has ZERO fear of turning you off. So yes, I don't think he has any interest in you at all and you're just using up emotional energy and precious time in your short life with someone who is ultimately a dead end. In the grand scheme of things, you owe this guy NOTHING and so you should begin easing him out of your life. But never underestimate the attraction that being involved in drama has for women.
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I think he enjoys the attention, affection, and affirmation he gets from being around you. Based on what you've described, it's probably pretty obvious to him that you're into him, and that always feels great to all of us. He may return the feelings, but is distracted or conflicted because he's also interested in your friend.
Unfortunately, I think it's more likely that, either on purpose or unconsciously, he's using you a little bit because you make him feel good about himself. In other words, he likes how you feel about him because it's nice to be liked, but he doesn't return the feelings.
My first piece of advice is to talk to him. Ask him if he's interested. The worst that can happen is that you remain friends. If you don't feel ready to do that, I would recommend putting a little distance between you. Stop the sleepovers, cut back on hanging out, etc. It might help you both to have a little time apart to figure out how you really feel.
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I really don't have enough details here, but I think he is just playing mind games with you. He's probably one of those sick men who get off doing stuff like that. And what? Sleeping in the same bed? Definately not enough details in that area to help at all. You should add more information and then I'll edit this answer. I really would like to know what is going on, I'm interested lol and this sounds familiar.
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