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Young age and proposals: He said if we last a few more weeks he will propose! (But I am only 14...)
Well,Im 14 and me and my boyfriend have already spoke about how we feel for eachother and how we want to spend our lives together,i know many say your too young to be thinking about it let alone discussing it,But we really love eachother and he said if we last a few more weeks he will propose to me. Honestly i don't know what to do,i mean i love him alot and weve been together for a while now but im not to sure how to react.i dont know wether to say yes so we have a long time to talk about our future or say no and deal with it when were a btit older.Any ideas?
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Lets be realistic, You are not going to marry your boyfriend
At 14, Boys do not know what they want and most think with their pants not with their heads. Stop stressing and worry about marriage when you hit your 20's
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Legally you can't accept his proposal as in every state of this country you are under the age of consent. In fact if he is under the age of consent he legaly can't propose to you either. Since you did not give us his age and it really does not matter as you both have to be of the age of consent for a proposal to be valid.
That is the first part of the problem. The second part of the problem you two legaly can not marry until you are both 18. Some states will allow marrage under the age of 18 with parental consent.
If you don't want to hurt this boys feeling fall back on the truth. Tell him legally you cannot accept his proposal as you are under the age of consent. That you, and maybe he, are under the legal age to marry as well. If the two of you are still a couple when you are both 18, or older, to ask you again and you will answer him then. For now, for legal reasons you cannot accept his proposal.
Your not saying no to the proposal. You are saying no to the legality of the proposal. There is a big difference and you leave open that in 4 years your answer may be yes if you two are still a couple. His feeling remain intact so this should be a win/win situation.
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Honestly, you tell him no.
Because anything else would be a lie, and silly.
He might mean it to be sweet and caring, but it's really just careless to make a commitment like that at 14. You are both going to change a lot in the next 10 years, and you both deserve to make those changes. You might make them together, but it's not sensible to promise you will at this point. Most concerning, his willingness to propose at the age of 14 suggests he doesn't actually take a life time commitment as seriously as he should.
Maybe you really will marry this guy someday! Some people do live happily ever after with their high school sweetheart. But that is not going to be made more likely by getting engaged at the age of 14. It'll be made more likely by being honest and realistic with one another.
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It really does not matter whether you say yes or no because you aren't going to marry him anyway.
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The fact that you're asking us whether you should say yes or no clearly shows you that you want to say no. You are young but that doesn't change how you feel about someone. I've been going out with my girlfriend since I was 14 and to tell you the truth I did think about spending the rest of our lives together and marriage but as time went on in the relationship you change because you're still growing up. I don't care for marriage any more because I don't feel it's necessary. The fact that you're 14 means you can't actually get married without parental consent and I highly doubt either of your parents will allow this and in fact it will just cause trouble for your relationship and cause you guys to drift apart. I would be really grateful if you could inbox me more on this as I would like to know just how long you guys have been going out and how long you guys have known each other, and maybe we could discuss this further. You need to tell your boyfriend that your not sure about marriage because of how young you guys are and how much things might change in the up and coming years (GCSE'S, A Levels, University etc). Tell him honestly that you still love him and still want to be together and you'd rather wait to get married.
Please inbox me, hope this helps.
AskSinz.
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Answer him honestly. Say what you wrote here. Tell him you don't know what to say. Be as real with him as possible. If you really like eachother enough to be talking about things like this so openly, he will understand. I'm 14 too, and that is exactly how I would react. You don't want him to be confused or have the wrong idea about anything, especially now.
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