I like fairies (thus why I am wearing fairy wings in the picture). Good grammar rocks, too. It doesn't have to be perfect but I get frustrated when people completely disregard it. I like every color except pink. I hate the wind. Sometimes, I carry around a little teddy bear I found at an antique store. His name is Robert. I dress very eccentrically. It's not unusual for me to wear a prairie dress one day and a Mod dress (think Austin powers) the next. I don't dye my hair, or wear much make-up. I think it's sad that no one puts any emphasis on natural beauty anymore. I think it's a good thing to be open and educated about sex and other issues that are considered taboo. I have a hard time seeing where homophobics are coming from.
Basically, I'm just some weird teenager in Arizona. If I haven't scared you off already, feel free to drop me a line. -Danielle
E-mail: crimsonenrapture@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 18
AIM: RaincoatEaster
Member Since: September 24, 2005
Answers: 559
Last Update: July 27, 2006
Visitors: 43415
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Theater
View All
Favorite Columnists
TheHeadHonchoPoncho57
DangerNerd
SilentOne
NinjaNeer
Erinn_the_bamf
SaturnMoonie
alisonmarie
TimmyTM
hailebop
Mackenzie
HeartsLiesFriends
more...
|
| |
Alright, Im going to preface this by saying, Im not your average asshole guy who thinks the world loves him, so temper your responses as if youre talking to someone who is reasonable and who approaches things with a relatively open mind.
So, Im in this relationship. One in a long line of similar ones, I have a tendancy to get into the serious kind, and my girlfriends tend to stick around for the better side of a year. My current and I are just about at the 18 month mark.
We have hit this point where I am comfy. I like talking to her, and having her around, and doing the cute little couple things,but I also like my space, and try to communicate that to her in a non hostile or not "get off my back" toned way. I try to just let her know gently when I need to just chill out and not be sitting on the couch with her in my lap.
But she, on the other hand, just cant seem to get enough. She wants me to hold her from the second I get home until the second I leave for work the next day, and generally suffocates me.
Now, Im pointing out what she does, but this behaviour has led to EVERY SINGLE BREAK UP Ive had in the last 8 years. 6 ltrs and a few month - 2 month beginnings. Girls hit this point where they want you around them 24/7, and excuse me if I like my partners to be _part_ of my life and not the entire focus of it.
So as I said, Im not an uncaring person. I cuddle after sex, I like laying together and watching a movie, I give her a massage nearly every night, but I dont want to be wrapped around ANYONE every second that Im not at work. I hate my job, and at times I enjoy going to get a respite from her. Its fucking ridiculous!
So, what the hell should I do? I mean, Im not going to say theres something wrong with me. Hell, I would say that Im more affectionate on a regular basis than the average guy I know, but I like a few hours a day to sit at the computer and play games, or to take a hot shower _alone_ or maybe, just maybe, fall asleep in a position thats comfortable to me, not that makes her feel like my teddy bear.
I cant figure it out. Are all girls like this? Or do I just have some wierd attraction to girls who do this and havent figured it out? I dont know. But its the reason I keep having to end relationships, and I like this girl, I dont want to break up with her because shes suffocating me.
Angry women responding saying Im a pig, or that I dont deserve her, or anything else of an un-thought out and abrasive nature will get a one and an angry riposte. (link)
|
You said that you kind of tried to gently hint to her that this wasn't working for you, and she's not really getting the hint. So I guess... you just need to go about it slowly. Try talking her again and saying everything straight out.. but don't start every sentence with "I need" "I want"... that might put her off from listening too closely. Say something like..' Lately, I've been feeling like you think I'm going to hurt you. I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going to do anything like that. We've come this far and I think it would be in both of our best interests to keep going... and to have our space while doing so. This change won't happen over night, of course, but being together does not mean that our lives have become one, it means that we are sharing them. Let's start planning some alone time so that we don't spoil this good thing that we have by beating the life out of it. You can't love others if you can't love yourself, and you can't love yourself if you don't even slightly know yourself. I can't know myself if I am never alone.'
That's a lot but just to give you some ideas I wrote a bunch of different things. After you talk to her, see if anything changes. If shes starts to grow resentful, keep reminding her it's not anything personal, you just need time to yourself and it's in no way saying you're trying to push her away. If she shows no sign of change after a couple or few weeks, keep persistently talking to her about it but with more urgency. If she can't listen to your wishes though, it's like anything else... you'll just have to break up with her. A partner's job is to listen to what the other needs and to respect it and to make sacrifices for them... and if she can't do that, then, you tried, and she just couldn't deliver.
|
Well, my friend "Sarah" likes this boy named "Jason" in our youth group. She made it clear that he is her territory, though he doesn't like her like that at all. My friend "Kia" is "Jason's" brother, who is my best friend. She told me that "Jason" likes me, and I like him. The sad thing is, our youth group strictly is against dating, so it wouldn't really go anywhere even if we tell each other.
So what it all boils down to is, "Sarah" doesn't know I like "Jason", and I'm going to keep it that way. I just don't want her getting mad at me when we flirt with eachother ((b/c we do ALOT)). I don't want to make her mad, but I don't think she should run my life just b/c she likes him.
What do I do?!! (link)
| |
Your friend is immature for claiming him for her "territory," but at the same time, why make it into a big deal if it's not going to go anywhere? Flirt if you want..just try not to in front of your friend so much to avoid confrontation. Telling him that you like him probably won't do much and it would probably get spread around and come back to your friend.
|
|
This weekend I'm going on a date with my best friend (haha, I know) and he's taking me to center city, philadelphia and we're seeing a show, eating at a nice (expensive)place, and going shopping around town. I need some tips on what to wear, how to present myself, but MAINLY the proper etiquette for eating a nice place, and the show... I don't need dating tips, I just need to learn how to act like a PROPER YOUNG LADY, because I was never taught manners, and my friend is totally brought up well and he's very very proper. Thank you! (link)
| |
This may not seem helpful to you, but think about it this way. Your best friend is already best friends with you- indicating that he already likes you just fine the way you are. If his proper ways really clashed with your informal ways so much, you wouldn't be best friends. You just need to be yourself, the same person he agreed to go on the date with. I mean, there are the obvious faux pas like not burping for everyone to hear or snorting when you laugh, but even sometimes in a nice setting it could be even funnier. hahaha. Just act the same since he's the same best friend you've always had, even if he might be turning into a boyfriend as well.
|
okay, here I am, there are some guys, who are kinda my -best-friends... they like me, and I don't know which one to go out with, please, help me pick one:
a) Fred: he's very calm and quiet, not speak a word. He only speaks to me and tells me only about his problems. Very cold hearted, yet nice at the same time. He has been crushing on me since fourth grade.
b) Tao: he's very popular and sensitive, he tells me everything and so do I. He always breaks up with his girlfriends anytime I'm available. He has been crushing on me since sixth grade.
c) Yoh: my ex-boyfriend. we broke up because of misunderstanding and now he wants to get back with me. He is sensitive, understadable, and nice. He's been crushing on me since fifth grade.
d) Leo: one of the nicest person to me. He's romantic and friendly. He's been waiting for me ever since sixth grade. That when he's been crushing me from.
e) Tony: a friend from kindergarten. He's so nice, sensitive, and popular. He's been crushing on me since eigth grade.
f) Richie: my ex-boyfriend in seventh grade. He's smart, intelligent, and super rich. He's been crushing on me since sixth grade.
g) Reid: my ex-boyfriend in sixth grade. He's popular, girls love him and stuffs, and he's athletic. He's been crushing on me since second grade.
They all are confessing love to me!! (They all go to different school, so if I date all of them, there won't be any problems, but I can't do that!!) Help me!!! (link)
| |
d or e. a does not seem to fit with you well, and ex-boyfriends are just asking for it. Might as well start something new and fun. b breaks up with his girlfriends for you- that doesn't sound loyal to me. he may be loyal to you, but he's not loyal to other gf's and that doesn't paint a good picture.
|
|
my boyfriend(19) and I(18) have been together over 2 months and he suggested sleeping together this weekend. We're both virgins but we discussed contraception etc and i do feel ready for it but my university entrance exams are in two weeks and are the most important exams i will ever do. I think ill be too stressed to be able to enjoy it and id like to wait til after the exams. (a month or so) he says he doesnt mind and ive said id like to do other stuff with him but i still feel as if an innocence is gone from our relationship and its made me very depressed.I feel like the issue is hanging in the air and that sex is all that matters.How can I clear the air?please help,i cant study properly for exams! (link)
| |
Well, to me, sex is as innocent is anything else... you just have to think of it as such. In this case I think it is anyway, because you and your boyfriend seem to love each other and like you're handling this in an intelligent manner. If you're worried about the idea of sex consuming your relationship, just pose that idea with him. Being completely open with him will get so much off your chest, and you should be able to do that anyway if you trust him enough to give your virginity to him. Tell him that while you're all for having sex once the stress lets up, you're afraid in the mean time that the relationship will just become based off of that one silly occasion that probably won't even be that great anyway. (First times never really are). Do romantic things like what you might have done at the beginning of your relationship and try to reinstate that feeling of love and security. If you're still feeling like this by the time you're thinking of having sex, I'd suggest putting it off a little longer.
|
|
Ok, so there is this guy that I really like and he knows that I like him and about 5 or 6 months ago I asked him out and he said that he would think about it and he never gave me an answer. Recently he told his friends that i was ugly and he would never go out with me. So now I want to get over him. How can I do that? (link)
| |
Well, why would you want to date someone who had no respect for you? What he said was really mean and hurtful. Realize that you'd never want that in a guy and try to find a guy who will appreciate you. I mean, even if this jerk came up to you at this point and said nevermind I want to date you, do you really think it would go well with the insecurity that he might think you're ugly in the back of your mind? He's just the totally wrong guy. Feel lucky that you didn't get stuck with a superficial jerk like him.
|
|
Me and this guy were kind of dating then he stopped liking me cause he met some other girl. Now, he is coming back to me and wants to have what we had before. I don't like him, the only reason why I would get back with him was to kiss him cause I have never been kissed before. What should I do? Go along with it and get kissed... how could I do that? Or just totally forget about him? (link)
| |
Eh...just wait for another guy that you actually like. Speaking from experience, it's annoying to have to look back on your first kiss with some skeeze you didn't even really care about anyway. It's definitely a much better experience when you care for the person.
|
|
This great guy & I have been dating for a few months now. He's popular and he's been with a few girls from our school. He has told me that 2 of his exes have mentioned me in a negative way. I've started to notice a few girls giving my dirty looks around school, which has never happened before. He says these girls are jealous but I'm getting upset by it. I'm starting to question if this potential relationship is worth it, even though he really makes me happy. Should I just forget about the girls or forget him? (link)
| |
If you really like the guy, why the heck would you let a few bitchy girls get in the way of that? They don't matter. In a couple years, you won't even remember they exist anyway. It's not like it's his fault that girls in high school are just catty by nature.
|
A boy is going to ask me to a school dance. I dont want to go with him. what should i tell him to let him down gently?
I'll rate 5's. (link)
|
Say, I'm sorry, I just wanted to go alone and have fun with my friends.
If you're waiting for someone else to ask you or you're going to ask someone else, you could just say you were planning on going with someone else already.
As long as you're just nice about it and don't make some disgusted face at him when he asks you, I don't think there's even a slight chance he'll be traumatized by the rejection. :)
|
|
Okay here it is. Im the popular girl in school, and alot of guys think im hot. Oh yah,and please dont answer this if you are just going to say im a bitch or something.Yes,i am hot and pretty and im pretty much use to all the boys wanting me. But there is this girl in my school,a wannabe me. She got the exact same haircut as mine the other day!Can you say:BITCH!!! i know! Anyway,theres this HOTT guy and he barley knows her but he thinks she is hot.GRRR. This is a major problem if you are me! I dont share! Does any one know what i can do to you know well...get him away from her?Im so mad! Shes ugly but im not going to lie,has a nice body.I know people say you dont like someone because of there looks but,i mean come on! One thing i dont do is lie,and beleive me im not lieing SHES UGLY. Sad to day,for her anyway,a few people think so too. Im going to get this guy no matter how much it takes no matter how much clevage because people!, I had a dream that one day ugly people and pretty people(*Me*) do not mix! And i need your help. Maybe you think im concieded so what,if you are too you will probably be able to help! Thanks!I Rate!!!HIGH! ANSWER FAST! Time is wasting :/ (link)
|
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA.
Sorry, I can't type any advice because I'm laughing so hard.
Google "narcissistic". You might find some useful information.
|
|
i have a girlfriend and we have done smooches and physical contacts. but she isnt ready to do sex. tell me what shud i do to make her do so with me?????? (link)
| |
Buy her a vacuum cleaner.
|
|
okay i am in a new relationship with this guy that i have known for about half a year and we work together and we just started dating, officialy. wed been on a few dates before and all but anyways i was just wondering i know us girls seem to think about guys like crazy! haha but i was just wondering do guys think about us girls as much as we think about them? im just curious if he ever thinks of me too. lol. i know i sound dumb haha but opinions are great. question is do guys think about their girls as much as we think about them? (link)
| |
It really depends on the person. I know some guys who think a lot about girls, and others, not at all. Similarly, I know girls who think about guys a lot and girls who hardly think of them.
|
Okay, so I was dating this girl and we were makin' out and stuff and she took off her pants and I looked "down there" and there was nothing. No hair at all.
Is she a slut? am I goin' to get warts or HIV or somthing?
I rate 5s (link)
| |
Something like hair does not determine if someone is a slut... that's silly. It's just personal preference.
|
|
Hey, so i've been going out with my boyfriend for about 8 months and we just recently have becoming open with each other and talking about our past relationships and what we have done with people, and i'll admit i hav hookedup wit a decent amount of people..and whenever i mention a guys name he asked me if i have hookedup wit them..and i keep telling him what happened and i think he gets uncomfortable..so when he asks if ive' hooked up wit a guy next time i mention a guys name, shud i just say no or tell him truth, i do think honesty is the best policy but it seems to be making him more upset..so what shud i do? (link)
| |
You don't necessarily have to lie.. but first of all, you should just ask him. See how he feels...and if you're right... then you don't have to go into graphic detail about what you've done with each guy. You could just say..yeah I kissed him once.. but that doesn't matter now because I am with you and happy with you... maybe he just needs reassurance that he's just not another guy on the list. (obviously he's not if you've been with him for 8 months but being reminded can be nice).
|
|
i have not had my period in 4 weeks and 6 days is that bad? (link)
| |
Wait another week, and if it still hasn't come, you should get a test at the drug store. It's still kind of early to tell, so it might just be a little late because you're stressing out.
|
|
Well, Okay. There's this boy named Senad & I have liked him foreverr. Me & him are always on/off, and idk. I want him back so badly and things completly switched between us. In the beginning he wanted me so badly, and I didn't like him that much. Now I am obsessed, and he's like uhh. It sucks. Before he met me which was around January when we started talking he was so shy, and afraid to say the wrong thing. It was so cute. Now he's so mean, and bossy. I'll look at him in class, and he'll be like "What the fuck you looking at?" Just because his friends are there. It's so immature. Then when I am with him we makeout, and stuff. Sometimes I think he's using me. On Friday we were in a pretty big fight, and we were at the same persons house cause she had a few people over and he was like "Wow fuck her!" and then by the end of the night we were alone in the living room, and he finally talked to me & madeout. I don't know what to do? He says he "kinda" likes me to people, and tells me different. I like him so much, and do not wanna give up. What should I do to get him back? Someone pleasee help. (link)
|
"Sometimes I think he's using me."
Gee, ya think? Why are you wasting your time on this guy? You really should just stop talking to him, and it will suck at first, but then you will slowly start to realize that being treated like shit should not be a turn on. You should try to date someone who won't talk shit about you and get angry at you for looking at him in public. It kind of makes things a little less stressful.
|
me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 weeks. he wanted me to help him with his myspace so he gave me the password and everything and i read his messages and he sent them to this girl jessica. and the other day we were having sex and he was like.. "i should call jessica and say, 'im having sex with kendall'" so now i think he was thinking about her the whole time. and i dont know what to do!
does this mean he wants to be with other girls? (link)
| |
The fact that he said that during sex is just plain stupid and unnecesary and flat out does not make sense. It almost sounds like he wants to rub it in her face and flaunt it or something. Definitely a little weird. I wouldn't want to be with a guy that wanted to brag to everyone about having sex with me, personally. I guess he could have just been joking, but either way, you should definitely ask him what the hell was up with that.
|
Ok this is kind of a personal question but here it goes:
My current boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now. And everytime we sleep together, I can never get an orgasm! At first i thought it could be because he wasnt good in bed but his past gf's has both said that he is amazing in bed! And i enjoy everytime we have sex. Im 17 and I havent ever been able to get an orgasm from sex. Is something wrong with me??
(link)
|
First of all, just because the other girls say he is good in bed doesn't mean that he would be to you. Everyone has their personal preferences, and what works for one person might not for another. That's not to say that he's necessarily bad in bed, but just keep it in mind for the future.
It is extremely common for women not to orgasm during sex. This is because most sexual pleasure comes from the clitoris rather than the vaginal walls, but the clitoris is not stimulated near as much during sex. Most girls find they can orgasm much easier from fingering or oral sex.
There are also mental factors. Some people are just not in the right mindset or relaxed enough...they might simply think too much about it. It helps me to be on top and to be fantasizing. Most girls have an easier time cumming while on top. Some women go until late adulthood without ever having an orgasm, alone or otherwise. You'll get the hang of it, though, as you experience new people and new things. Masturbation is good for this though because then you know what you like and in turn can communicate that to your partner. As you get more and more experienced, you'll find what works for you. Good luck!
|
|
My prom is coming up really soon. Everyone is so excited about it, but I'm just not at all. I've had guys already ask me but I have no interest in going with any of them. I've told them all the same excuse that, "I'll be on vacation probably". One guy who I would love to go with, might ask me now. What am I supposed to say and do when the others find out I lied? They're all great guy friends who would be hurt and embarassed by my terrible lie. (link)
| |
I'd say don't go with lying in the future, but what's done is done for now. Say that the vacation was cancelled because there was an illness in the family, or that your family decided that you shouldn't miss school so they planned the vacation later.
|
17/f
ok so theres this guy...he's amazing, gorgeous, but he's 21. we've been hanging out a lot for the last 4 months and stuff but he always told his best friend who told me that he only liked me as a friend and nothing more. well like a week after that we would be hanging out watchin movies at his house and he would cuddle with me, lean in towards me, hold my hand and stuff and it just seemed like he liked me but he kept denying it. but now, all of the sudden, he's been acting all weirdo around me like when we're around his best friend he's mean, snotty, and annoying, but when it's just me and him he's sweet, nice, and fun to be with. i was told by his sister's friend that he was torn about the age difference but idk now...it's not really THAT big of a difference in age. i can't tell if he likes me and is worried about what his friend will think since i'm a junior in high school and he's a junior in college or if he's just 2-faced. can someone help me out please! (link)
| |
Ahh.... run away from this guy...FAST! What's ironic about him being scared of the age difference is that he's obviously less mature than you are. If he was really a keeper he'd just be cool to be around all of the time, not some of the time. If he's telling people he only likes you as a friend, he doesn't seem like he's willing to admit anything beyond that. If you guys fool around, who says that that will change anything? And then it will be him just leading you on, using you, humiliating you and all of that other fun stuff because he's too stupid to take the relationship one step further. He just doesn't sound like guy who's really serious about a relationship. Try to find a guy who's more comfortable around you and with his own identity.
|
|