STOP BLAMING YOURSELF. Another old saying, "it takes two to tango". So, it is as much (if not more) his fault than it is yours.

Again..SEX IS NOT, I REPEAT NOT LOVE. LOVE IS LOVE. AND TWO PEOPLE THAT LOVE EACH OTHER SOMETIMES DECIDE TO HAVE SEX. BUT TRUE LOVE EXISTS- SEX OR NO SEX! Okay, sorry, I'm yelling at you..just want to make sure you get the point.

I want to let you know, that personally, I abhor when a guy just "hangs up" on me. Fact is, if they do something like that, I will NOT call them back- until they call me. And even then, I may not answer the first time they call back. When a guy does this, he is showing a huge disrespect for you, not only as his girlfriend, but as a person to whom he is supposed to care about!

BIG RED FLAG: Why would he share his account with an "invisible" "friend of his", when accounts like (yahoo chat, myspace, facebook, chat proggys) are SO SO EASY to get???!! Makes completely NO sense whatsoever.

I have to tell ya, and I really do hate passing judgment on those that I have never met (I actually try to refrain from it), but it really sounds to me as he is lying about this!!

He obviously thinks that you are obligated to have phone sex with him, and gets angry when you do not. Which tells me that he is more than likely talking about sex to these other girls, without guilt because he justifies it in his head (unfairly I might add) that he should be able to do it, because you aren't bowing to this whim! The fact that more than one girl has told you this, adds to my suspicion even more than I can express! And I sense that what these girls are telling you is completely true.
Think of it this way, What motive do ALL these other girls have??!! Why would they say it, if it weren't so? On the other hand, he has plenty of selfish motives!

It sounds to me as if you "jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire". This guy knows about your past, and is USING YOUR PAIN AND GUILT TO CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS! *tsk*

Another reason I find him guilty is because he is making accusations against you! I discovered long ago, that most guys that are cheaters act in a certain manner. When they think that you may be getting close to the truth, they will quickly 'turn the tables' on you, and begin to accuse YOU of cheating, among other things (ie. you don't love me, you ignore me, yada yada yada..), so that you will stop your suspicions and begin to concentrate on, not only your need to prove your commitment, but also will drown yourself in thoughts that you 'owe' them something! This is very unhealthy, but common with cheaters.

He obviously knows that your past sexual relationship caused emotional scars, so if he REALLY CARED about how you felt- he wouldn't dare ask you to do ANYTHING UNCOMFORTABLE...including phone sex.

If I may ask: What hypocritical things do you think you are doing? Did YOU, on your very own, decide that you were being hypocritical, or did he accuse you of being so- and then you decided he was right?

Regardless, it sounds as though he is already looking for someone else (and it is very likely that he has already cheated). I say this because he is giving you a "time limit" on how long he will wait. Think about it: IF he cared half as much for you as you do for him, time would not be an issue whatsoever (the "maybe less time" part tells me that he is already looking to find a way to break up, because he already has someone else in mind that is nearer to him-maybe they have even dated!). If he were serious about the commitment you two have, he would allow you to take all the time you need.

AGAIN, not your fault! Don't be a victim!!!

Maybe it's for the best? Long distance relationships are hard enough already! Much less when one of the partners is not nearly as committed as they should be! AND he obviously isn't. Relationships take work: and he's not trying!! Why should you?

I would suggest (but you certainly don't have any obligation to take my advice)..but I would suggest that you two DO break up until he comes back. I personally feel that he is already cheating, if not merely physically, he is MOST DEFINITELY cheating by being intimate with other women. That, too, (and IMHO is worse) is cheating.

If he loves you, he needs to love you with his WHOLE HEART, not just what he can spare in his free time. If you do take my advice, go ahead and date, you don't have to jump into any new relationships right away, but at least give yourself some much needed love.

If, when he comes back, you two are able to patch things up: great! If not, then he didn't really care enough in the first place, and you are wasting your heart, soul and time.

And just because I think you should know, I think this guy might have a sexual addiction problem...are you SURE your his ONLY girlfriend? How well do you REALLY know him? How long did you date before you committed to this long distance relationship?

Hang in there sweetie! and keep in touch,
Blessings!
Jasmine

If you stick to a healthy diet and exercise daily you will lose 3-5 pounds a month. That's likely not the answer your looking for, but as I said to someone else, there just isn't any miracle weight loss drug out there! It's a big scam *frown*..but I'll send you the tips in my advice column and add one to the top:

I didn't mention this before:
If at all possible, stay AS FAR AWAY from fast food places as you can!!! Those places breed fat!

Anyone see 'Supersize Me'? Well, it's true!

If you find yourself in a situation (say with friends) that you must order something from their menu(s), go for the baked stuff (cept' potatoes), or a salad, but with a salad go as light on the dressing as you can. Oddly enough McDonald's salad is even really high in fat (they stuff their salad dressing with fat, to make up for that burger you didn't order)! *it's a conspiracy I tell ya!*

On a side note, has anyone, besides me, ever noticed that all during the day commercials barrage you with promises of "quick weight loss" and "join this weight loss club" programs..and then after about 5 pm, suddenly it's chocked full of "you should eat greasy pizzas, and go to fast food joints"!! *that's my conspiracy -smile* (the media wants you to gain, so they can sell you useless weight loss products!)

Okay, now back to my eating advice..

It's much better to eat small portions several times a day than it is to eat three big meals.(this naturally "shrinks" your stomach).

Drink lots of water, as much as you can (rather than 'diet drinks' all day). Water cleans your system out naturally, and actually helps you to lose weight!!

Always leave the table while your still hungry.

As women, when we are emotionally upset, we tend to resort to eating: try to find something else to do- like chew sugarless gum! In fact, keep it in your purse for those "cravings" or emotional times.

Also, a big meal before bedtime doesn't help at all, because you are not up and around to burn off those carbs! Best to eat your largest meal at breakfast time and stick to a light dinner.
(the worst mistake most of us make is those midnight fridge raids! If you MUST treat yourself to a dessert, try to eat healthy fruits: strawberries with a TSP of sugar is the best...but if you just have to have that bowl of ice cream {sometimes we need a reward}-at least do it early in the day.)

There are so many things that "seem" like they would be healthy food, yet are REALLY full of carbs which turns to sugar..which in turn becomes fat!!

As I mentioned before- The healthiest fruit you can eat is strawberries. Bananas are actually have the most carbs than any fruit! ..Apples are good for you too. Another old saying that has lived through time for a good reason: "An apple a day keeps the doctor away!" (Apples help your digestive system!)

The obvious things: stay away from fried foods as much as possible. Baked foods are SO much better for losing weight. You can always add seasonings to tickle your taste buds, but try to cut down on the salt as much as possible as it causes water weight. Ms. Dash makes a great seasoning line, low in salt, but extremely yummy! Baked fish (or seafood) is the lowest in carbs. *yummy...baked tilapia with garlic (not garlic salt) and low carb/fat butter!*

Soups and yogurt are great too! And you don't have to buy the expensive ones that brag about "weight loss/fat/carbs" either. All soups and yogurts are low in the above! It's just a media twist to add the "low in carbs/fat junk" on the label so that you will pay more for their particular product.

Eat lots of veggies! Not only will they help you to lose weight, but they are healthy and will help keep your digestive system working correctly (ie. dispose of the fattening stuff)! Greens are nature's natural laxatives!

Stay away from potatoes in any form or fashion..they are chock full of carbs whether they are fried and even when baked!!

Turkey contains much less fat than hamburger meat, you can substitute it in almost any meal that calls for hamburger!

Bread (in all forms: rolls etc) is very fattening! Stay away from it as much as possible!

No one really likes to exercise (me included) but if you want to lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time, I'm sorry to say, that is your only real solution.

But, you don't have to exercise all day long..30-45 minutes a day is plenty. And you can split those into morning and night if it is easier. Say...20 minutes in the morning while you watch your favorite TV show, and 25 at night while you jam to your favorite music (or visa versa -smile).

The best exercises don't include running 5 blocks a day in the heat (or cold). Walking fast in place is, in fact, MUCH better for your joints and bones, and, of course, weight loss! If you can get a stationary bike, (or even enjoy bike riding) that would be great...just hop on your stationary, or walk fast in place, in front of your TV (or grab your mp3 and go for a bike ride) and commit to at least 5 mins a day..and slowly increase it to about 40 minutes a day. FYI, most songs are about 4 minutes long..15 minutes would be about three or four songs.

The rest of the exercises you do, should really concentrate on toning. Crunches- (not sit ups as they are bad for your back and actually don't help as much!), knee to elbow (and hold it for as long as possible): switching sides- starting at 5 reps and moving up until you can do more. Also laying on your back with your hands on the floor, lift your legs off the floor about 5 inches and hold them there as long as you can. This helps your lower abdomen shrink: the better you get at this, the closer to the floor your feet should be without touching it.

Squats are great for toning your booty! In fact, how do you think that Jessica Simpson got to her butt to look SO great in her 'Daisy Dukes' in 'Dukes of Hazzard'? YEP, she spent like eight weeks doing workouts, that mostly involved squats!! *kick those daisy dukes! -singin' again *smile*

And as I mentioned before, anytime you begin a diet, you should always add a good daily vitamin supplement to your routine to stay healthy!

I would like to add that I got my best benefit by actually joining Tai Kwon Do for just twelve weeks! Much more fun than boring jazzersize or Aerobics! I had a great time and my stomach actually got so tough, from the pre-exercises, that it was almost rock hard- couldn't even grab any fat!!

==============================

As far as your acne, I've advised on that also from my column, and here, too, you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars to fix it! You just need a routine:

First, don't use any treatments on your face that contain any type of alcohol. (when you dry you face out, it just makes more oil which = more acne (example don't use oxy pads)

Stay away from perfumed soaps to cleanse your face with.

If your a girl, use hyper-allergenic make-up and be sure to wash it off (as below) every night!

Try a facial cleansing routine!:

EVERY MORNING AND EVERY EVENING-

1. Wash/scrub your face with face wash (Dove-and I think Suave- or Oil of Olay makes good facial cleansing products, they come in a bottle). And rinse your face by hand, ie. throw water into your face.

2. Apply a Toner. (also made by those above..DAB -DO NOT RUB- it on and wait for it to dry)

Then..

3. Apply a light face lotion (so your face doesn't dry up and make more oil), I would recommend one that is recommended for oily skin.

Wish you the best of luck and hope I've helped (without discouraging you too much!)

Blessings!,
Jasmine

First, there is NOTHING wrong with you. You are responding in a very normal way!

You say you had some trust issues: Was it because you didn't trust him? Or because he didn't trust you? Both? Who started the "non" trust arguments? What were they about? How did he act? What was said?
Also, were you and he having intercourse or any type of sexual relations before he left?

Answering these questions will help me understand his thinking and personality much better..

But, I do have a little advice about what I think is going on with him.

There are a lot (and I do mean a lot) of guys out there that equate sex with love & intimacy. They REALLY and TRULY believe that if you aren't having sex with them, that you don't love them.

Unfortunately, they are just 'wired' that way and they can't be changed. Even though, to most of us females, this concept is utterly and completely ridiculous-it's an unfortunate fact.

Remember, just because your his girlfriend doesn't mean that you have to be his personal "1-900" number! (I will share a story about a high school boyfriend that relates to this later.)

If HE REALLY LOVES AND CARES ABOUT YOU (to use his OWN words) then he wouldn't want to put you in a situation that makes you SO very uncomfortable. (I will have more information about the 'whys' of his behavior later and better advice on how to handle your situation).

In the meantime, it MIGHT be that he is struggling with himself, trying hard to remain faithful (and hopefully succeeding!), and thinks this is the answer to HIS problem. Note I said: HIS PROBLEM not yours.

If so, when he comes back in three months, it's highly likely that he won't be wasting much time at all with merely 'holding hands' and 'cuddling'.

It's normal for you to react the way you are..he has put you in a position that makes you very uncomfortable, and then expects you to act like everything is "normal" and the same - when it's not!

Your on an emotional roller coaster right now..one ridden with guilt, loyalty, love, fear and a touch of shame!!

Before I have my final say about what I think you should do, I'd really like to hear back from you about the questions I asked above...I think I've got him pegged, but I want to be sure before I go pointing my power finger at him.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Blessings!
Jasmine

Hmm..

Do you think that maybe he is trying to "keep you on the back burner" while he is "grazing in other fields"?

Remember: males think about sex every 20 seconds! (It is a fact, I honestly don't understand how they get anything done! -lol)

And it sounds like he is obsessing that you just won't give into what he wants..and playing "head games" to try to bring you around. If he's a real friend, he'll finally realize that this isn't the way to go! ..and, if he values your friendship at all, he WILL regret it sooner or later!

In more understandable words, (sorry I like to use metaphors, especially the ones my mother used to say a lot -smile)...maybe he doesn't want- or is scared- to be alone, BUT he is hoping that he can find a romantic relationship with some other girl, a relationship that "goes further" than the one that you two have. Maybe he IS attempting to find these relationships? Thinking that if he finds a girl that will "give in" that he won't need you anymore, but, at the same time, is afraid to completely let you go because, 'what if he doesn't find her?' Which, in fact, he doesn't even realize that he WILL need you anyway!! *sigh*

And he may be hoping that if he continues playing these games that you will change YOUR mind and finally give in to the romantic relationship he wants, rather than accepting the wonderful friendship that you have (it's a shame that he can't see what's right in front of him, and that he's missing out on a wonderful relationship-regardless of whether it is romantic!).

If this is the case, then it means that he is the one that is insecure, and IS using you, in a way, as someone that will be there so he won't be alone, yet he's only thinking about himself..and in turn, it is making YOU really insecure!

If he has any sense at all, he'll realize how valuable your friendship is..and will stop acting this way! A true friendship (which by the way is really hard to find!) requires give and take/50-50 just like any other type of relationship, and right now, it sounds like he's too busy thinking about his own WANTS to take the time to understand your NEEDS! *he's being really selfish*

If I've pegged him-and I think I have, he's thinking with the wrong head right now!..hopefully he'll recover soon from this terrible male disease -ugh.

If he doesn't, maybe you should find yourself another really good friend, and leave HIM on the "back burner" for awhile, just like he is doing to you!

If telling him how this is making you feel doesn't work (or isn't working), then that is just what your going to have to do for your own sake (and especially for your own happiness!)...

He is obviously using 'control' (ex. he says he'll talk to you but not as much, etc) to attempt to make you do only what he wants, to get HIS way. That isn't a good, or healthy friendship for either of you.

Hugs,
Jasmine

OOHHH! One of the questions of all questions..how do you know if he or she is your soulmate.

Fact is, you won't until you spend many years together and have been through the good the bad and the ugly and everything in-between...and still survived.

Then you'll know, in the meantime, enjoy the love that you have!
Jasmine

I'm a woman..and I must admit..there are times that I have had some really loud sex. Fact is, the couple having sex, isn't really thinking about whether the noises they are making "sound embarrassing" or not *laugh*. They are too caught up in the fervor of passion to even give that a passing thought.

I know that you think it sounds bad now (especially because it's your mom and, well.. no one likes to imagine what their parents are doing..no matter how old you get -shudder-), but you may very well change your mind about it sounding 'gross' as you get older..."never say never"

Jasmine

It sounds like you need to find a new boyfriend. A temper is when you get impatient and maybe cuss and yell..

...hitting people and throwing things is completely different. If he doesn't respect his parents enough not to hit them, how do you think he will treat you after the shine wears off?

He obviously has a serious anger problem and possibly some serious mental disorders. Trust me from experience, you can't fix him no matter how hard you try or how reasonable you try to be, and eventually he will just pull you down with him. "Get out while the gettins' good!"

Hugs,
Jasmine

You won't know for sure unless you catch him or find some definite proof, so yeah, don't point fingers unless you know for sure, otherwise, like most men, he will get angry and begin to act more immature.

Instead of accusing him (which always works out badly); ask him upfront in a very neutral tone, (psst..if this applies to you..men are the most honest right after sex).

Right after you mention it by saying something like, "I love you so much!, you wouldn't ever cheat on me would you?" *eyelash flutter*; RIGHT THEN is the time be eagle keen, watch his reactions closely. If you have said it in a very non-accusing way, but he gets really offended and starts getting upset/mad..then he chances are REALLY high that he is.

"Thou dost protest too much.."

Like someone else said, if you think they are, they probably are. Fact is, a woman's instinct isn't given as much credit as it should be given!!

Hope everything works out for the best,
Jasmine

Now, I have a question..I'm assuming, but will ask anyway. Does he invite his "poker buddies" over to the house?

It's a shame. Most men after they have been in a relationship for awhile, think that they don't have to show affection or treat you as nice anymore.

TO ALL THE MEN READING THIS:
Just because you've been together a long time doesn't mean that you automatically get the "get out of courting free card". Women still need to be shown appreciation, they still want to be "flirted with/courted/taken out/treated like a lady"!!

I'm a bit mischievous..IF his poker buddies come to your house to play. The next time they do this: spend the day pampering yourself, get REALLY decked out, wear something..well.. sexy (but not trashy). A short skirt, with a NON-revealing blouse-something maybe of silk, and some heels usually does the trick...

then while he is playing poker..waltz into the room (feigning to bring snacks or something). Strut it honey! I bet his poker buddies will take a second look..and then the inevitable. He will become jealous and be reminded of what he has!!

That's the evening, to let him know that if he wants passionate, giving sex from you, that he needs to give you what you need!! ROMANCE!

Just a thought *sly smile*
Jasmine

Eek! Sour grapes!

It sounds like he is hurt and is lashing out in anger because he wants more from you than you should give.

I do hate head games..because, it seems that he does miss you and probably cares much more about you than you know, but is trying to pressure you into a more romantic relationship by being mean, and then cutting you off at times.

I would just continue to be friends with him, but at the same time, DO NOT let him say cruel things to you without addressing it. When he says something mean, be sure to let him know that, while you value your friendship with him, you will not continue to be his friend if he continues to be cruel! And follow through with what you say, if he continues to be cruel, shut him out of your life for a little bit..let him know that you "mean what you say, and that you say what you mean."

Hope this helps!
Jasmine

Well, I promise you that you are not the only girl in the world that isn't ready for committed romantic relationships until YOU are just ready.

Fact is, you've had offers, and you must be a pretty level minded young woman because you didn't take them just because you feel like "you have to have a boyfriend no matter what". And that's a good thing.

Your still very young regardless of what you may feel like at 19 (for instance I still feel young most times and I'm twice your age)! When the time is right..when the right guy comes along you will know it, in fact, you won't be able to stop thinking about him! And because your already 19, the chances are MUCH MUCH higher that the relationship will NOT end up "silly" nor will you end up in a disastrous "heartbreak" or "playing head games". Not to say that you won't ever experience heartbreak, we all do at one time or another, but the fact that you are committed to finding the right guy shows that you will likely have more success and your relationship will be much more worthwhile. You have a good head on your shoulders.

I once knew a woman that was saving her virginity for marriage, she had few to no relationships until she finally met the right guy for her! She didn't marry until she was like 30 years old! BUT she was exuberantly happy, and didn't have nearly as many problems with her relationship as I've had with those that I have had (Can't help it I'm a hopeless romantic *sigh*- which is odd because I find soap operas corny *shrug*).

Anyway, you said you prayed for the "right guy" and The Creator will answer..always does...so that you will get the "right guy" and not the "wrong one"! And that takes time..so don't worry, your just fine!

In the meantime, just concentrate on being the best YOU that you can be. I have a feeling your going to have a very rewarding career, and will excel much faster than most of "us"! So that when you do find the right guy for you, you will be ready, and armed with a great amount of independence that will allow you to be even more choosy (and not end up with a loser) when the guys are literally falling at your feet!

Hugs,
Jasmine

Well, it sounds like you would rather just break this off.

Avoiding him at this point will probably hurt his feelings, and may even cause' him to be mean to you later on (don't want any nasty gossip going around).

So maybe the best thing to do is to remind him that you BOTH agreed that you weren't ready for anything serious.

If he says, "ok, we won't" and then continues to be serious..then you will need to be a bit more firm, but kind. If he continues to attempt to try to make the relationship serious: Just kept reminding him, each time a little more firmer, that you two had a pact, that you are really NOT ready to commit to anything like that, that you like him a lot and enjoy "hanging out", but your just NOT ready for anything like that right now, (not ready for a commitment, and/or think it's better for you both to remain single).

If he just stops talking to you because of this, it will likely mean that he got hurt (not your fault). If that happens tell him that you weren't trying to hurt him, and that you value his friendship and don't want to lose something that valuable, just because your not ready to commit.

If the kids at school ask about it, just tell them that it just isn't working out between you two the way BOTH OF YOU thought it might- that you prefer to be friends, that way you BOTH can leave your options open right now. Use the words "both of you" that way he is much less likely to be hurt or "embarrassed" by what you say to others.

Hope this helps, if you need to, you can contact me again!
Jasmine

ahhh..my mother left me with so many words of wisdom, here's another: "two's company, but three's a crowd".

I realize that you are doing this for Jenn's sake; and that you TRULY feel your doing this to help your friend...I have no doubt that your intentions are good.

BUT it REALLY is NOT your place to lecture him about what he should or should not do.

Jenn has some say in it because they date, but, honestly, you just don't have any AT ALL!

Your interference in their relationship is just making things worse! Why do you consider Jenn and Eric's relationship a "we": because IT most certainly is NOT.

Tread carefully, this kind of behavior can ruin friendships and/or get you in a baaaddd situation..remember about the "thin line between love and hate". I really wouldn't want you crossing over that line!..and Jenn most certainly does NOT need that!!

Also, it's not for you to decide what is best for Jenn and it's CERTAINLY not your place to decide what's best for Eric. I imagine that Eric resents you much more than you realize right now! You have no right to yell at him over his educational decisions.. (you should only yell, of course, if he hurts your friend physically or emotionally!).

You'll be lucky if when they get back together (which they most likely will)..that she will still be as close to you as she is now. (she'll likely stop sharing info about her and Eric's relationship with you, and she will have every right to do so).

It's high time that you step back and let them work out their issues on their own...but that doesn't mean that you can't be there for Jenn when she needs to talk to you or needs comfort.

Ever hear the expression, "kill the messenger"? Jenn is okay this time, but next time she may get angry at YOU!

Remember Jenn is your friend and you should be there when she needs your advice, but she doesn't need you to fight her battles! Don't pick up the battle gear unless Jenn specifically asks you to!

Hugs and Good Luck!
Jasmine Moon

Did you know that the average guy thinks about sex about every 20 seconds? Yep, it's a fact!

By the way is your astrology sign Cancer?

So, yeah, most guys will take whatever you will give them, regardless...although I'm sure your a very pretty girl- I want you to have more pride in yourself, just in case you aren't going by this method, please don't base most of your confidence on the fact that guys want to sleep with you....

I say this because, from experience, I know that if you concentrate on this only...then your confidence will shatter when some guy decides to be cruel to you (and it will happen sooner or later.) Oh yeah, they find your weaknesses when they want revenge!

I know this may sound rhetorical, but those old sayings, they stick around for a reason: they are true time after time! "Beauty is only skin deep"...so, for your own sake, always exude confidence on many different levels other than just your sexual attractiveness (your intelligence, your personality, etc)..not just because guys want to sleep with you...

sorry I went way off point, but I wanted to save you some pain down the road..no need to be a slut to have really good sex! IN FACT, spending time getting to know one guy intimately, gives you the opportunity to have SO SO much better, intimate and fun sex, rather than swapping partners often, because you won't be as anxious and will eventually be able to express your desires, even if it a whisper in his ear!!! Being a slut doesn't give you the opportunity to share yourself with a guy (not to mention becoming multi-orgasmic!).

It sounds to me that you are just a modest/shy/nervous person (like I was, and still sometimes am!) I was that way too- nervous and shy. Honestly, whenever I date(d) a guy and am I'm STILL this way most times..I have to feel completely comfortable with him before I can take that step without backing down. psst..the guys that are willing to get to know you (relationship or not) will actually help you overcome this fear!

I don't know exactly how your dating relationships come about or how long they last before you go in another direction, but I found that if I get a chance to know a guy better..hanging out, flirting, and just making out REALLY, really slowly- for extended lengths of time..*wow* and being good friends in the meantime, it was (and still is) much easier for me to overcome my nervousness because I feel so much more closer to them before jumping to the next step!

AND, this may sound bad, but if you seduce the guy into chasing you and romancing you, over at least a few weeks together, and get to know you- the nervousness seems to dissipate almost completely when you reach that highest heat of passion and desire!

Maybe instead, of chasing many guys, find a guy that you are really attracted to, then spend lots of time with him. Getting to know him much better. You will still get a little bit nervous, but you anxiety will be SO much less because you will feel much more comfortable with him! It's a great feeling to be able to tell your partner what you like and visa versa...just hanging out in bed ALL DAY, naked, taking turns exploring each other slowly....*hmmm...yep that's some of the best stuff*

Keep in mind that the first guy you set your eyes on may not fit the bill, so if he doesn't, don't fret! Like you said, there are plenty out there that are willing!

Oh, and I forgot to add, although I'm sure you don't need to be told this- ALWAYS use protection! *smile* Wrap that rascal!

Jasmine

=========================================
POST EDIT: April 7, 2008

Answer to "How did you know?"

I know because I have a few "gifts" that I've honed with practice. I'm not always perfect, no one is; but suffice to say: I've practiced for quite a long time so my "senses" have strengthened some over the years. *smile*

*might as well face it your addicted to love*~Robert Palmer *sorry was singin' wink*

Okay, I cannot call the kettle black, when I was young I tended to chase after the "bad boys" myself. I think it's a stage some of us go through to find excitement. Unfortunately, the guy really liked me back and I ended up heart-broken... Fortunately, I finally figured out that the "bad guys" WERE really "bad guys" and will likely make you miserable in the end.

You should shove this guy right out of your impending love life because, as you said, he obviously doesn't have any interest in you. AND being the Goddess/Diva that you are, you shouldn't waste your time chasing a guy that won't return your affection!

It sounds to me like your rushing things- there isn't any hard and fast rule that you MUST have a boyfriend at any age! Fact is, when the right guy comes along you'll know it, and you will forget this "mean guy" in two seconds. You'll be too busy with the butterflies in your tummy and trying not to tremble or look stupid. *laugh*

Stop trying so hard, and/or worrying about it. I've found, and this is another of life's ironies: that when your NOT looking..that is always the time that the right guy finds you! *smile*

Instead of chasing romance, why not take a bit of a break and find something else to occupy your mind? I know this sounds corny, but it works..find a hobby,get a job (you'll meet lots of new people doing that!) or something of that nature..and before ya know it, the guy of your dreams will be chasing YOU down and you will go together like "peas and carrots" *grin and laugh*.

Really though, give it some thought, you really deserve to love AND be loved!
Hope this helped some!
Jasmine Moon

I'm with Razhie on this one *grins at Razhie*

Just how mean is he to you? AND how old are you?

It's funny, it's like there is an age of "crossing over" from being "mean" to show a girl that he likes her to being "nice"..

Then again, and this applies no matter what age you are: "There is a thin line between love and hate". I've seen so many people that seem to hate each other end up together! *shakes head..weirdos lol*

NO, He's NOT worth it. Just paint a capital "L" on this guys forehead!

ANY guy (or girl for that matter) that wants your relationship to be a "secret" doesn't care a fig about you...he's obviously just using you for something else!

As far as what happened while you were drunk, well, when "we" overindulge in alcohol..we take the chance of getting out of control.

The best thing is to straight up apologize to those that were present (I wouldn't worry about what you said to him, he probably deserved it!) when you acted this way. Be sincere, and be sure to tell them that you didn't mean to drink that much or say the things that you said like that!

And if I were in you shoes, I would add that he deserved to be cussed out that way because he's a jerk, and a cheater, but that you would have chosen to do in a more ladylike manner..it's just that you were fed up and had too much to drink.

And..next time try to monitor your usage better...so that doesn't happen *smile*. It does take time to figure out what "your personal limit" is when drinking. It's best, especially if your the type that "loses control" when drinking to drink slowly: once you've drank too much you cannot go back, but, if your okay, you can always make yourself another drink...but drinking too much just causes you to embarrass yourself, and/or throw up *yuck*! Won't find any boyfriends that way...trust me from experience. *lol*

Get this loser out of your head, heart, and life and find someone that will cherish your attention and care!

Jasmine

Disconnected is SO on the money on this one...most relationships begin in the "infatuation" stage, and once this stage is over..this is the prime time to find out whether it's really going to last.

A good relationship needs to be treated like a garden..you have to put a lot of effort into it EVERY DAY to make it work (pruning out the bad, re-planting the good, and daily watering with love). Some people never realize this, it's fortunate that you have! This way you can ensure the longevity (if it's meant to be) in a mature and rational manner. IE. Don't play head games! And it looks like you aren't! *gives kudos*

As a woman, I can give you a little advice-- most women by nature crave romance. Maybe it's time to plan a little romantic surprise for her, so you can find that "exciting" feeling just for a little while again? Maybe go somewhere new to you both so that you have something more to share and a memory to keep.

Like Disconnected implied, this is the way of relationships..the media, most times, gives us this impression that it is always exciting and romantic..but in reality a good (and actually more rewarding) relationship takes work, and lots of love, to become ever-lasting.

Good luck to you both!,
Jasmine

Odd...you said they seem to like you at first but end up dating your friends?

I could be wrong..but know that..popularity comes with a price. I do hope that your friends aren't being ugly about you behind your back. And the scarier thought, maybe your friends are "giving up" more than you do. If so, GOOD FOR YOU! If I'm wrong, I'm terribly sorry to make accusations about your friends.

Milo..sounds like a nice guy so far...the fact that he added you to facebook opened a wide door. Send him some messages! Get to know him better..chat with him online..who knows what may happen??

And when you see him,wave at him!, be open about yourself, find things that you have in common and talk about them (maybe shyness?), smile at him a lot, let your soft voice, eyes, and body language tell him that you find him attractive without saying anything outright. You don't have to jump in his lap or anything *lol*..you could just stand a bit closer to him for instance. There is no rule that you have to look away when he looks at you..*grin*

I have a feeling he'll come around soon *big smile*. The fact that he is shy is what is probably making it more difficult in letting you know that he likes you too! I bet that once he realizes that you are a nice "non-threatening" person he'll become less shy around you. Who knows? Maybe he doesn't go on the "dating merry go round" either! I mean..he IS shy, right?

You have mutual friends, eh? How bout' a mutual hangout time and place? Talk to one of your mutual friends and mention casually that you think that he is cute! ..like "You know Milo right? Well, he added me to his facebook..ya know, he's kinda cute." It WILL get back to him and give him the confidence he needs to step up.

*twinkling eyes*
Keep me posted!
Jasmine Moon

Sounds like the vanity monster has taken a bite out of him. I may be wrong..but he is likely reveling in all this new attention that he is getting from other girls. Add your attention to it to boot!, and he's on cloud nine when it comes to his current ego level.

Maybe it's time to stand back a bit..and allow him to see that "the grass isn't always greener on the other side". If you really care about him, then don't hold on too tight, he may just cut and run.

Hold your head up high, but let him know how you feel- for instance, that if you have a commitment (ie. he's YOUR boyfriend) you won't tolerate cheating: when I say cheating, that truly includes the fact that he should have more intimacy-and I AM NOT referring to sex, see my page for the definition of intimacy-..he should have more intimacy with you than with the other girls. Hopefully, once the "shine" wears off he'll realize that he's messed up by letting you down.

It's a corny saying..but, oh so true: "If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you: it's yours. If it doesn't: it never was."

And don't forget.."what's good for the goose, is good for the gander."

Don't play games, but don't sit on your hands either. "Live, love, laugh, and be Happy"!

Hugs,
Jasmine

I'm a 36 year old mom who has too much life experience. I realize that, no matter your age, life throws some crazy curve balls at you when you least expect it. I know in my heart that absolutely no one is perfect..and we all make wrong decisions at one time or another; and sometimes we just need someone to help us out without being judgmental! Furthermore, I think that the only stupid question is the one that you don't ask...knowledge is power.

One of my favorite sayings:
"If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones."

Well folks, we ALL live in glass houses at one time or another!

Never say never,
Jasmine

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