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breakups
my friend jenn has been dating this kid eric for a year and a half now, shes liked him since like 7th grade (were freshman now) well in the beginning i didnt like him at all, i thought he was rude. she got mad at me and we didnt talk for a long time. well jenn is a really good student, class officer and normally awesome grades and AMAZING softball player (just made varsity as a freshman, only one) so school means a lot to her. eric's mom over rid the teachers reconmended levels from 1's and 2's to all level 3's (which is the most work and for hardworking and "agressive" learners) he shouldnt be in level 3's it is to much for him. he doesnt do his homework and now jenn is getting fed up with it. she always says do your homework. she told him "im going to put as much effort into this relationship as you do to your schoolwork" that didnt work. they "breakup" kinda under the scenes, like no one knows about it cause its like a day or 2 and that wont work. so this past weekend we went to friendlys me her and eric and somehow we started arguing about schoolwork. we spent 2 hours like yelling at him "not yelling just arguing and lecturing" he doesnt call her to say goodnight anymore and that bothers jenn, obviously and he sleeps all the time, i gave him suggestions and he just rolls his eyes (it sounds a lot worse than it really was) so after all that and even some tears we thought we got through to him. well we were wrong. he came to school today and nothing was finished. i yelled at him and so did jenn and they got in a fight and sometime throught the day they broke up. like now people know and jenn was upset (not those girls standing in the hall surrounded by a million people. just a few tears.) and she made jokes about it, so i know shes okay but should i
-talk to eric
*if so what do i say
-not do anything
-try to get them together
-how do i help jenn
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ahhh..my mother left me with so many words of wisdom, here's another: "two's company, but three's a crowd".
I realize that you are doing this for Jenn's sake; and that you TRULY feel your doing this to help your friend...I have no doubt that your intentions are good.
BUT it REALLY is NOT your place to lecture him about what he should or should not do.
Jenn has some say in it because they date, but, honestly, you just don't have any AT ALL!
Your interference in their relationship is just making things worse! Why do you consider Jenn and Eric's relationship a "we": because IT most certainly is NOT.
Tread carefully, this kind of behavior can ruin friendships and/or get you in a baaaddd situation..remember about the "thin line between love and hate". I really wouldn't want you crossing over that line!..and Jenn most certainly does NOT need that!!
Also, it's not for you to decide what is best for Jenn and it's CERTAINLY not your place to decide what's best for Eric. I imagine that Eric resents you much more than you realize right now! You have no right to yell at him over his educational decisions.. (you should only yell, of course, if he hurts your friend physically or emotionally!).
You'll be lucky if when they get back together (which they most likely will)..that she will still be as close to you as she is now. (she'll likely stop sharing info about her and Eric's relationship with you, and she will have every right to do so).
It's high time that you step back and let them work out their issues on their own...but that doesn't mean that you can't be there for Jenn when she needs to talk to you or needs comfort.
Ever hear the expression, "kill the messenger"? Jenn is okay this time, but next time she may get angry at YOU!
Remember Jenn is your friend and you should be there when she needs your advice, but she doesn't need you to fight her battles! Don't pick up the battle gear unless Jenn specifically asks you to!
Hugs and Good Luck!
Jasmine Moon
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Well obviously yelling at him is not solving anything. I don't understand why you are trying so hard to get this boy to do something he just does not want to do. Let him do what he wants; it's his future he's ruining, not yours. You both being so uptight about it is not going to change if he does his homework or not, and screaming and threatening to break up is not the way to go. Plus, he pretty much indirectly is telling Jenn that he would much rather not do his homework than be with her, so I think both you and her should stop wasting your time with him and let him figure out what he wants for his future. Don't bother talking about it with him anymore, and have Jenn forget about it as well. Pretty soon he's going to be the one fed up and freak out on you guys.
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maybe theres something else going on with eric it doesnt seem that hes just not doing his homework. and its really none of your buisness now that you got in the way they broke up im not saying its totally your fault but kinda is and your friends b.c you shouldnt push ppl if they are going to not do thier homework then let them not do it its their fault not yours and they suffer not you. or her. i say stay out of it for the best.
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I guess you can try talking to him but Jenn should talk to him and tell him how she feels,if they really like eachother and you know they deserve to be together then i guess you can try getting them bnack but that's only if they want to get back together,just be a friend to Jenn be there for her do things with her go out so she can take her mind of things.
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