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the "ah im confused girl"
the thing that i dont get is that sometimes he will be like ok we can be friends, but its never going to be how it used to be. [meaning we wouldnt be talking as much as we used to be, or even hang out] and then whenever i agree, the next thing i know, his mind completely changes and he doesnt want it anymore.
this has never happend to me, so i dont really know what to make of it.
i just want us to have the friendship that we used to have. but i dont know if that will ever happen, he always flip flops his mind on what he wants from me.
i try to get him to talk to me about this and tell me exactly how he feels, but he doesnt give in
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hmm..
Do you think that maybe he is trying to "keep you on the back burner" while he is "grazing in other fields"?
Remember: males think about sex every 20 seconds! (It is a fact, I honestly don't understand how they get anything done! -lol)
And it sounds like he is obsessing that you just won't give into what he wants..and playing "head games" to try to bring you around. If he's a real friend, he'll finally realize that this isn't the way to go! ..and, if he values your friendship at all, he WILL regret it sooner or later!
In more understandable words, (sorry I like to use metaphors, especially the ones my mother used to say a lot -smile)...maybe he doesn't want- or is scared- to be alone, BUT he is hoping that he can find a romantic relationship with some other girl, a relationship that "goes further" than the one that you two have. Maybe he IS attempting to find these relationships? Thinking that if he finds a girl that will "give in" that he won't need you anymore, but, at the same time, is afraid to completely let you go because, 'what if he doesn't find her?' Which, in fact, he doesn't even realize that he WILL need you anyway!! *sigh*
And he may be hoping that if he continues playing these games that you will change YOUR mind and finally give in to the romantic relationship he wants, rather than accepting the wonderful friendship that you have (it's a shame that he can't see what's right in front of him, and that he's missing out on a wonderful relationship-regardless of whether it is romantic!).
If this is the case, then it means that he is the one that is insecure, and IS using you, in a way, as someone that will be there so he won't be alone, yet he's only thinking about himself..and in turn, it is making YOU really insecure!
If he has any sense at all, he'll realize how valuable your friendship is..and will stop acting this way! A true friendship (which by the way is really hard to find!) requires give and take/50-50 just like any other type of relationship, and right now, it sounds like he's too busy thinking about his own WANTS to take the time to understand your NEEDS! *he's being really selfish*
If I've pegged him-and I think I have, he's thinking with the wrong head right now!..hopefully he'll recover soon from this terrible male disease -ugh.
If he doesn't, maybe you should find yourself another really good friend, and leave HIM on the "back burner" for awhile, just like he is doing to you!
If telling him how this is making you feel doesn't work (or isn't working), then that is just what your going to have to do for your own sake (and especially for your own happiness!)...
He is obviously using 'control' (ex. he says he'll talk to you but not as much, etc) to attempt to make you do only what he wants, to get HIS way. That isn't a good, or healthy friendship for either of you.
Hugs,
Jasmine
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