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how to know if my husband still loves me


Question Posted Tuesday April 8 2008, 8:43 pm

Me and my husband have been together for 2yrs and its gotten to the point that he doesn't want to take me out anymore and its becoming a real bore he just wants to sit around and play poker and I'm sick of it what do I do. I'm 18 and he's 23

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Peeps answered Tuesday April 8 2008, 11:54 pm:
Communication is ALWAYS key in all relationships. This means, you need to really make time for a good sit-down discussion with your husband about what you've been thinking and feeling.

Since you haven't expressed your concerns to your husband, you really have no clue as to what is going on with his side. If you're feeling bored, chances are he is too. Your relationship is a two-sided deal and you need to pull you weight as much as he needs to pull his.

Ask him what you can do to make him more active in your relationship, especially if he has expressed the disinterest in taking you out. Maybe he wishes you'd dress up more or would be more willing to do things he enjoys doing (or see movies he enjoys seeing or...well, you get the point). For all you know, he's been waiting on you to press him to go out together and has thought you've became uninterested in him. Whatever it is, ask him what you can do differently to liven things up!

You have to let him know what you feel is missing and what you wish would be happening. He has to know what he needs to "fix" to be able to change it and meet your needs. Sure, he should be able to have a poker game once a week, but he should give you more time than he gives his buddies since you have a closer relationship to him.

Really express exactly what you've been feeling about the situation though. Let him know if you feel he's uninterested in you. You have to communicate with him for anything to go smoothly--he isn't a mind reader. Spill your guts to the man.

After discussing with him about what is going on between you two, make plans to go out one evening. If, for some reason, he puts it off then you need to let him know what it makes you think. For the "date" think of a couple of nice things you two can do together that you haven't done in awhile. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy--just time out together.

You may also want to suggest to your partner about making a date-night once a week or two. Again, it doesn't have to be costly and you could possibly even do this at home with some home-made popcorn, snuggling on the couch, and a rental movie.

Remember the things you use to do that he really loved. As time goes on, couples tend to forget about complimenting each other and things become so routine they don't think about it any longer. It's always the little things that really matter. Show him you're still interested in those small ways.

In the future, remember to go to your husband first about problems. He knows your relationship and he is aware of what exactly is going on with him. He may be just as lost and confused as you are if he's feeling what you're feeling and hasn't opened up to you.

I hope things work out well between you and your husband.

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Jasmine_Moon answered Tuesday April 8 2008, 11:39 pm:
Now, I have a question..I'm assuming, but will ask anyway. Does he invite his "poker buddies" over to the house?

It's a shame. Most men after they have been in a relationship for awhile, think that they don't have to show affection or treat you as nice anymore.

TO ALL THE MEN READING THIS:
Just because you've been together a long time doesn't mean that you automatically get the "get out of courting free card". Women still need to be shown appreciation, they still want to be "flirted with/courted/taken out/treated like a lady"!!

I'm a bit mischievous..IF his poker buddies come to your house to play. The next time they do this: spend the day pampering yourself, get REALLY decked out, wear something..well.. sexy (but not trashy). A short skirt, with a NON-revealing blouse-something maybe of silk, and some heels usually does the trick...

then while he is playing poker..waltz into the room (feigning to bring snacks or something). Strut it honey! I bet his poker buddies will take a second look..and then the inevitable. He will become jealous and be reminded of what he has!!

That's the evening, to let him know that if he wants passionate, giving sex from you, that he needs to give you what you need!! ROMANCE!

Just a thought *sly smile*
Jasmine

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laynemayhem answered Tuesday April 8 2008, 11:13 pm:
talk to him. ask him if he still wants to be together. marriage isnt a game you play and when you get tired you quit. its a life commitment and he needs to know that.

if he doesnt?

make him know that. tell him you love him and really want things to work out but if he doesnt try, you wont wait for him to try. divorce isnt pretty, but neither are lazy husbands.

maybe you guys got married too early. early marriages never ends up pretty. hate to tell you that...but yeah.

but like i said. talk to him and tell him whats on your mind.

i hope it all works out, take care! :)

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