About EricStarr
Hi! My name is Rick (Eric is my middle name) Im an average guy who has been lucky enough to raise 5 wonderful children. 4 girls and a boy, and Im proud how they all turned out. I don't know what, but I must have done something right LOL.
My Hobbies are fitness, sailing, Scuba diving, golf and computers. I'm currently a corporate trainer, training managers in motivational skills and love what I do. I feel Advicenators is and excellent place to share experiences and ideas with others. Im looking forward to sharing with you!
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E-mail: Ericstarr4u@aol.com
Gender: Male
Location: Chicago
Age: 41
Member Since: January 23, 2005
Answers: 78
Last Update: June 27, 2006
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okay so theres this guy im kinda friends with and im sort-of crushing on him and we talk online alot and at school he will always say hi to me in the halls. so anyways i was talkin to him online and he was like well im going to go get naked and jump in the shower , wanna join me ? and of course i was like yeahh lol . but obviously he was joking around but what do you think that he was thinking about when he said it .. and if he's feeling like how i am about him . thannk youuu ♥ (link)
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While he may have said it in a joking way, and definitely was flirting. He was also seeing how you answered. You were flirtatious back so if he was really interested he still is. Go ahead and flirt that's fine, but you don't what to seem too easy so throw in some teases as well to keep him on his toes. An example of a tease answer for the same question would be "we'll see if you play your cards right" or something to that nature. Flirt back but make him wonder if you really meant it. Flirting is a game, have fun with it!
Enjoy life!
~ Rick
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well i just met this amazing guy and he and my best friend used to like be together but now they dont see each other anymore....well he has a girlfriend now but when we were in the car he started tickeling my leg and touching my hands and stuff...it didnt really bother me because i like him and all but the only thing is if my friend finds out what should i do?? and i told asked if he had a girlfriend and he said yeah but techniqully werent not because i only see her sometimes so if me and him did anything would that be like hes cheating on her with me?!?!ill rate high (link)
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First of all it depends on what you mean by "if me and him did anything" What do you mean by "anything" Just remember that if he is seeing someone else and wants to see you, then who's to say that when he's seeing you he's not going to see anyone else too. If you are ok with that then fine.
Personally I believe that early dating should be just that..... Dating.
You shouldnt be tying yourself down or getting too serious with one boy. This is the time you should be "dating" different boys to see what qualities you like in a boy so that when its time to get serious and find a life partner you will know exactly what you want.
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Okay well i was talking to this guy i like yesterday,and well he knows i like him and he likes me too.So we were talking online yesterday and i asked him how his easter was and he said it was fun and he asked me how mine was and i told him,then he said one of my uncles g/f was playing with her kids and she wore tight pants and her underwear was hanging out and her boobs were flying around.And all i could say was lol uhmm o? and then he says hahaha i know but i still love you.I hate it when guys do that and talk about other girls when they know you like them and stuff i mean,its not like hes the first guy ive liked whos talked about another girl in fornt of me but still.My question is,is it okay for a guy to talk about other girls while the guy knows you like him and he says he likes you? And if it isnt why do guys do it anyway?
thank you (link)
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To answer your question directly in my opinion, No. Its not only wrong but its disrespectful. That's just the way I was brought up
That being said, most teenage boys haven't developed an understanding of respect for woman yet. Their hormones are running wild and he's probably just being open and honest with you. I wouldn't worry about it. If you ignore it it may stop eventually because he'll see it doesn't get a rise out of you. If it bothers you that much just be honest with him and find a non threatening way of telling him.
Good Luck!
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I have just been left by a girl. Im 25 6'8" 240lbs. She is 22. we've been together 6mnths. Its over. I lost her. My heart has been broken. She has cut off all comunication from me. I want to move on. More so, I have to moveon. I cant run after her anymore. I know I'll lose. Twice it has happened to me. I find a nice girl. We start courtship. I do my utmost to make her happy, and feel loved and twice I got taken for a ride. Taken advantage of. I can't keep going like this. I have come to the point where I fear to date another girl. Scared I'll get screwed again. I want to be happy. I've had a horrible lonely past. I can't live like this. Any advice or help? (link)
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Since you didn't go into any specifics about the relationships and we can't really give you any advice on what could have gone wrong, Im assuming you need to know how to deal with the loss.
Why do you feel like you were taken for a ride?
To be honest, you pretty much were. That's what dating is about, your "test driving" to see if a long term relationship is possible. If you were looking for a car and you didn't like the test drive would you stop looking at other cars?? No, You would keep looking till you find one you like. Relationships are the same thing. Let yourself learn from each relationship. Take the qualities you like in a woman and find them in another. Also, don't let your past become your future, and don't let anyone else's opinion of you become your reality. Is someone put you in a field of rocks and said under one of those rocks there is a Diamond worth a million bucks, would you turn over a couple stones and then give up?? Or would you keep turning over stones till you found the diamond??
Keep turning over stones my friend, every stone you turn over is one stone closer to the diamond!
Happy Hunting!
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i really like this guy! and he liked me back i think cause he always simled at me! i kinda ignored it but i still talked to him on the bus (he's in 8th grade and i'm in7th) and laughed at his jokes and we were getting along pretty good untill a friday when he sat next to me and asked me a lot of questions. i answered kinda weird i was really shocked i mean the questions where like totally normal like do you like somebody or are you good in school whatever and i only answered with yes or no and then he said im mean because of that he was like: why are u being so mean to me your not answering my questions! and then he asked: soooo do you wanna be friends? i couldnt say anything cause he got interrupted by a friend and then my busstop came so i never answered that question! but the thing is that a week later he told me he loves me and i was REALLY shocked then and i was like : uuhhmm to bad and i know that was really mean! so then we had vacation for about 2 weeks and when school started he didnt talk to me or anything and well i also ignored him but he still looed at me. then i called him and i was like:
peter:( thats the guy im talking about) hello
me: hello my name is cornelia can i please talk to peter
peter: yeah
silence
peter: i am peter
me: ohhh sorry uhm i yeah remember me cornelia?
peter: uhuh
me: well im really sorry for being so mean to you lately
peter: yeah...
silence
me: soo is everything ok again?
peter: yeah
me: ok than
silence
peter: bye
me: uhh bye
that was it and well he really acted weird and since that happened he IS weird!!! he only lookes at me when im not looking and i became kinda angry cause he was like an idiot at the phone and in school so i just ignored him! so then once he looked my way really sad and i almost started crying but today on the bus he totally ignored me again and i really dont know what to think anymore! i dont get it what is he thinking??? he ignores me all the time and it really hurts and well now im doing the same thing......what should i do now? i tried to talk on the phone but well you know.....he acted like weird and does he still like me? i would do anything to get those days back when we where like kinda friends and when he smiled at me and always said hi! so maby you guys know what hes thinking! guys are like a mystery!!!
(link)
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Guys are a mystery? He's thinking the same thing about you. But, that's ok. Your both learning social skills in dealing with the opposite sex.
Here is what hes thinking.... First, you were a bit shy so he took that as you didn't like him. Then he got the nerve to tell you he "loved you" (ok big mistake on his part but hey, he's learning too) you got nervous and shot down his confidence again. When you called him, he's thinking "Umm what's with her? is she going to slap me down again? He obviously likes you since he keeps looking at you, but hes scared to death of getting rejected again.
What I suggest is when you see him just smile and say hi. When he's comfortable with you again, talk to him. If he or any other guy you like says "I love you" or something similar in the future, rather than shoot them down, say something like
"Aww I'm flattered, You seem like a nice guy, lets be friends and see where it goes" The trick with people is to be honest while building them up, rather than putting them down.
Good luck!
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I'm 16/female... Me and My boyfriend have been dating for 2 months, and everything is great and I like him alot but, when we talk on the phone he is always quiet and i'm like if you dont want to talk i will just let you go, and he's always no i'll talk and the continues sitting there quietly... How can I get him to talk or start a conversation that he will talk in, because i like him and all but i'd rather hear him talk than breathe... please help i'll rate high... Thanks in advance... Sorry so long
ALIX (link)
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Good question! One thing to remember is that guys for the most part are not phone talkers.
He doesn't want you to "let him go" off the phone as you put it, because he likes you and feels like he's close to you while on the phone.
Guys at that age for the most part, just havent learned communication skills with a woman yet. If you want him to talk Ask questions. Find some of his "hot buttons" Find what his interests are and asq questions about them. Believe me you get a guy talking about his favorite hobby, sport or whatever and you'll have a hard time shutting him up! Then start telling him about your favorite things and get him to ask questions.
If you need more specifics or have any other questions you know where to find me! Id love to hear how things turn out as well.
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13/f I just need a little help, or a lot depending how you look at it! Short Version:I like my best friend more than a friend and it is a SHE! I mean, I used to kid around with her but now whenever we get close i have to back off or I'm afraid I'll do something...stupid. And I'm starting to stare and when she looks at me I have to look away. I've been feeling like this for weeks and I dont think it's fair to her that I'm like this...what should I do? I thought I was normal! (link)
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You are actually very normal. This is not unusual at your age. Your hormones are beginning to change your body, and affect the way you look at a lot of things. So much is happening at once that you could be confusing the emotional close friendship you have for your friend and that type of love, with the type of love that your hormones are starting to desire. It does not mean you are turning into a lesbian.
As far as telling your friend, I would hold off for now. Just take the time to try to understand and separate the emotions you are feeling. You are at a tough age in development emotionally and physically, but you will be fine!
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I'm 13 and I've liked this guy for a year now, and I'm beginning to wonder whether I should tell him I like him. I doubt he likes me back in "that way", but I'm 99.99999...% sure that he likes me as a friend. We're good friends. Not like unseparably devoted best friends, but we talk a lot. I'm not sure whether telling him how I feel is a good idea. Can anyone give me their thoughts? (link)
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Just be honest with him. You could say something like. "We've been good friend for a while now, and seem to get along well. I Don't want to ruin our friendship, but I feel there could be something more developing between us. How do you feel?" Then listen, and see what he says. If he says he feels the same way, then you know. If he says he doesn't you can say something like "Thats fine, I just didn't want to feel like I was leading you on in any way" You save face either way and it doesn't have to ruin the friendship at all
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hey iam sally iam 15 yrs old 1st i met a 18yrs guy on the net each day i get to love him more and more well so did he.u can say i loved him like hell we had the same felling. i cant let a day go past without talking to him he was my life my soul and everything after that i got rapped by a guy i dont know i told my bf everything he got so mad and worried anyway after that my sister called him and told him she is lying to u and i never thought that even i lie to him in 1 word so when he heard that he stopped talking to me and sending me emails....i miss him alot and i cant spend my life without him and i dont know what to do
(link)
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Im sure you really do feel like your in love with this guy you met on the internet but Please be carefull. The internet is a great tool, and you do get to meet and chat with many interesting people. However, one thing about internet relationships is that people tend to make the person that they are talking too "Bigger than Life" so to speak. Its kind of like a fantasy world where the people you talk to become what you want them to be in your mind. This is a difficult concept and causes alot of pain to alot of people.
This may not be what you want to hear, but Please don't let an internet relationship hurt your Real physical relationships in the here and now. Countless good relationships have been ruined because someone "fell in love" with a person on the internet that turned out to be nothing like that person imagined. Have fun but be carefull not to confuse fantasy with reality.
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One of my younger friend's boyfriend and her been getting alittle to intimate(touching/using mouth on personal places), and she's only 12! I don't want to tell her parents cause i don't want to get her introuble what should I do? (link)
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It's good to see you are so concerned for your friend. She's lucky to have a friend like you.
At this point if you tell her parents she would see it as breaking her trust. Hold off for the moment and talk to her first. When she brings it up next time say something like "Wanting to experiment is normal, but maybe you should slow down because you don't want to get the reputation of being easy. Guys that age are horomone driven and will say just about anything to get what their body is telling them they want, and most will tell their friends all about it"
With my daughters that was the age I started to sit them down and explain this to them. I told them all the things a guy would tell them to get what they wanted. (I knew because I was there!)
They were prepared when it would happen on a date. It was funny because after their dates they would come home and say "Dad you were right he tried saying this and that.
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okay well for awhile now i've been noticing that everytime i like a guy i seem to like them a lot but once i know they like me i get all happy but then once he asks me out i kinda loss interest in him. like this one kid we'll say george.. well we went out before and then broke up and then went back out a few month after but like before we were going out i really liked him but then we started going out and i was like oh man. i dont know if i really like him anymore.. and then i broke up for him. im not trying to lead people on like i actually do like them its jsut that once we're going out i just stop. then that happened with this other kid we'll say ryan. like we were talking and then he was like i like you a lot and i thought i liked him too but once he like walked away and we were going out i was just like omg. i dont really want to go out with him and then dumped him. but like the thing is if i know the person i like doesnt like me i still like them a lot but once i get my chance with them its like idk bout you anymore? i dont know what this is.. help? pleasee.. sry its long. (link)
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Don't feel bad nothings wrong with you. In fact its probably more like things are "right" with you. Its ok to date different people thats why its called Dating! You'll find different qualities in each person you like, and some you dislike. Then when you find the "one" you'll know.
Just be up front with the guys from the start that you are not ready for a commitment and go out and have fun.
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hey everybody. My friend was dating her bf for a year and a few months and they had already decided their wedding date, childrens names, where they would live, ect. They just recently "went on a break" and then broke up completely, but they are still going to get married, as planned, the summer after she graduates high school. I told them that if they can't be together in a dating relationship then how where they going to do in a marriage but to them this makes sense. What do you think about this? (link)
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While it does seem like an awkward thing. You didn't mentions their ages but based on what they are planning I would guess they are young.
If so, then actually it's a good thing that they are separating for the time being. It will give them time to get to know them selves and probably date other people. I wouldn't worry about them. If its not meant to be they will drift apart by the end of High School. I'm sure at that time they won't just get married because they said they would when they were younger.
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Okay, well my ex boyfriend wasn't the best person to and for me. We just broke up recently. Well this other guy like me alot, so he asked me out, seeing as how we are best friends I said yes. Now, I'm totally regretting it. I am madly in love with my ex and it kills me everday because we're not together. I seriously just want to die w. out him. So I have to break up with the other guy, my best friend. But he is crazy about me, and I thought I was about him. What should I tell him?
I know I'm going to tell my ex I still love him, I'm that kind of person to do that.
But my best friend. :'[
someone please help me. this is awful.
andheartssemicolon
Alex (link)
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The first line of your question concerns me the most. Your ex wasn't good to you? For your own sake don't go back. I know it's hard to get over a relationship, even destructive relationships are hard to let go of. Try to take a rational look at why you feel you're madly in love with your ex and you may find some surprising truths about yourself. Perhaps you are right about this "best friend" not being the one, but remember the "RIght" one should always be your best friend!
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my boyfriend told me he has a
crush on another girl,
and i don't know what to do.
he says he loves me and wants to be with me,
and that he just wanted to be honest with me.
but now i feel as though i'm going
to be paranoid all the time.
i dont like feeling like this;
but i can't leave him.
i love him too much..
and today he spent all morning with me,
telling me how he doesnt want this to
interfear with our relationship.
he said it was weighing him down
and that he needed to get it off his chest;
but now that it's off of HIS.
it's not been put onto MINE.
what should i do?
-L
(link)
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When we're young and unsure of a relationship it's hard to hear things like that from someone we care for like you do. However, if a guy told you he never looks at another girl he's pretty much lying.
He's being honest with you and telling you that in spite of this fact he wants to be with you. I would look at the positive side. He sees you as the BEST because in spite of is hormonal desires he chooses to be with you, and is open enough to share his true feelings. Not many guys are mature and secure enough in a relationship to share and trust their partner that much!
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Not good. My best friend and I like the same guy and he might like her back and I'm completely jealous annnd she doesnt know I like him.
I just got out of a relationship.
what to do? (link)
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I would be honest with your friend if it comes down to it, but if they like each other let it go. A real friendship is much more important than one guy, I wouldnt let a crush ruin it, There are alot of guys out there, and you'll find one.. or two.. or three!
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so i've been dating this guy and he really likes me. he talks about wanting a really serious relationship as in wanting it to result in something for the future. hes 18 so i can understand why but the problem is im 16. i was in a year relationship all of my freshmen year and i enjoyed this year by being single. i really like single as a matter of fact i prefer being single but i really like this guy. he really likes me too and i dont want to break his heart and i dont want to lose him. but i feel like im not as happy as i used to be cause i cant party as much as i used to i cant talk to all the guys i used to hang out with all the girls i used to or anything like that. i really dont want to waste two more high school years by being in a relationhip when i should be having fun. what do i do? should i break it off or give it time to see how things go? what would you do? (link)
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It's thoughtful of you to think about his feelings like you are, and shows maturity on your part. However, you need to explore those feelings your having. You need to allow yourself the fun teen years without feeling you have to answer to a guy. If he is the one down the road, eventually you are going to feel that you didn't get to be your own person during this time of your life and may even grow to regret him for it.
I would tell him how you feel, You obviously like this guy so tell him. But, also tell him you need to take it slow and enjoy the freedom to be yourself before you can commit to one person on a long term basis.
Good luck and love.
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Well I just realized how old I am getting. I'm turning 28 in 2 months and that's like almost turning 30!! I can't believe how time has snuck up on me. I remember when I was 18 thinking that someone who was 25 was anceint, and now here I am turning 28. It's quite a milestone because it means I've been out of highschool for ten years, and that the reunion will probably be this summer. I havent acomplished even half of the things I wanted to have done. When I was 18 I thought I'd be married and have kids by this age. Well I'm still single and childless. I also don't have a nice career, I work at a minimum wage job.
Does anyone have any advice to make me feel better about my age? People are joking that I'm turning into an old maid. (link)
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It's completly normal to think about that some time in your mid to late 20's. Mine happened when I was 25, I guess it was the 1/4 centry thing that got to me LOL. Anyway, it will pass and you'll realize how young you really are. I'm 41 and recently went on a Diving trip with a group of guys whos AVERAGE AGE was 65, and they were wild! My point is, don't think about your age in years. Stay active and fit, focus on trying new hobbies and activities, keep learning, and most of all, dont look back at what you dont have. Look forward to what you want and go for it!
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This guy that I've been friends with for a couple of years just got divorced. He told me that he wants to get married to me. He has never had children and said he wants to start a family with me. My concern is that he is 45, 17 years older then me. If we started to have children, by the time my child was 18 he would be in his 60's!! I am also concerned because he is quite old fashioned, and would want me to be a stay at home mom. I just got a promotion at work, and I don't want to have to quit it so soon. I've only been with the company for 4 months. He also has a tendancy to treat me like a child, has a bad temper, and is very tight with his money. He's also very possesive of me. I don't know what to do. He would be a good father, and I know I'd be a good mother, but I don't think I'm ready to start a family. My job is too important to me right now. And he seems really desperate to have a child, he's not getting any younger. Does anyone have any advice? (link)
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Honestly, I think the age difference is the last thing you should be worrying about. Take a close look at how you describe him. You use words like bad temper, desperate, controlling, treats you like a child, tight with his money.
You seem like an open and caring person. Of course this is just an opinion but find someone as caring as yourself that when you describe them you use words like, Loving, caring, supportive, and generous.
Good luck!
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when it comes to guys im way behind. im not so good at handling them. a lot of guys have approached me and like me.. but i seem to always turn them down.. not because i dont like them, but because im scared. theres only one guy ive ever trusted and he has a girlfriend. he said if he was single hed go out with me in a second. which is why i think i turn guys down. im scared that if i get into a commitment with a guy.. when the guy i really like(the one with the girlfriend) is single ill be taken. im also scared because my parents are super strict and i would have to hide a boyfriend if i had one. im 16 years old btw. ahh i dont know what to do. im missing out and i want it to stop. any advice? (link)
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Dear Shy,
I feel that Bittersweet's advice was right on the money. Remember, when you first begin dating, try to date different people and find the qualities that you like in someone and those that you get along best with. That way when its time to commit to a serious relationship you will know what your looking for. What I mean my dating is going out, having fun and getting to know different guys, not getting a bad reputation by giving them what they "want". So go ahead see other people, if it works out with this other guy later great, if not that could be great too, at least you'll know what your looking for and the type opf guy that you like best.
Good luck!
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I need advice! Iam a female and 15 years old. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year now. My parents did not care about me dating him at first but now all of a sudden my dad wont let me talk to him, and i still love him so what should i do??? (link)
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Dad's are funny that way. At first Im sure he thought it was a harmless relationship. However as things progressed and the relationship lasted I'm sure he now has the normal Father fears. First he's afraid that his little girl is growing up. Second, all Dad's remember what they were like and what they thought about at 15 years old. And he KNOWS what your boyfriend is thinking. You need to sit down with Daddy and Honestly ask for his advice, listen to what he says then assure him that you understand and appreciate his point of view. Tell him that what ever YOU decide to do, you will take his advice into consideration and that you appreciate having a caring father. Beieve me, it will score some brownie points and perhaps make him see what a mature daughter he has, and may let you make more of your own "good decisions"
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