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Hello I am 18 year old female. I've been dating this guy for the past 4 months. He never asked me to be his girlfriend but from the start we spent time together and get lunch together, did things couples do. But one day he'd just disappear for a week or two without hearing from him. I respect people and if they need to be alone then that's fine, but he started doing this all the time. I'd ask him if i'd see him this weekend and he'd say no i'm out of town or no i work. Sometimes my friends would see him around campus on the days he said he had to work late, I know he was let out early. I would start to doubt him but then he talks to me and tells me he acts distant because he gets paranoid that I am going to move on. That's when we kinda became official cos I told him it was better if we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. the next time I saw him he used the word "relationship" which never happens. but he still didn't ask me to be his girlfriend. I stayed over his place, he in mine. I came back from school over break and he wanted to see me right away and he took me out to dinner. but then two weeks go by and I haven't seen him nor heard from him. I messaged him and no respond. Then I ask him why he isn't talking to me and his response is "i've just been playing around in my world"..few days later my grandmother passes away. He doesn't know cos he doesn't even check up on how I am doing. So I decide to cut it off without telling him, because he does not want to tell me what's up . So I go to a party and see him there and he says hi, but I ignore him, I was talking to other guys and he actually went right in between me and this guy having a conversation and he just started dancing right there between us trying to block me from talking to the guy. I ignore him, he gets the picture. Next week passes by and he texts me saying he has been thinking about me a lot lately but he can't keep up with us. The next day is superbowl party at our friends house and he walks in 5 minutes after I get there, not even ten minutes go by and he leaves. I ask our friend if he left cos of me and his friend said yes. I don't understand. We aren't talking and I am not going to talk to him cos I am hurt at how the way he is dealing with things. Anytime I try to get serious with him he tries to avoid the conversation. So I am leaving it up to him. So after the party I message him telling him that I am going to miss him and he responds "you see me all the time, say hey or talk to me if you miss me" so I tell him that I can't talk to him cos I am hurt. So first he asks me "what's your plan for recovery?" but then he says "sorry wrong question, why are you hurt?" so I tell him and he says "you have control over all these things. You have as much power as I do. Just remember any situation is what you make it."...so I don't respond because basically he is saying I need to get over it. I never thought he'd be this insensitive, but maybe it is just me. I am not making a huge deal out of it, I haven't flipped out on him, but that is cos I don't need to flip out on him. I guess these things happen, I just wish it wasn't this messy. I really loved him. What should I do about this whole thing? Do I keep not talking to him? I don't want him to leave everytime I am there, it makes me feel like I did something wrong. (link)
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Wow, you were really mature about this whole thing. The fact that you haven't flipped out on him and you stopped talking to him and talked to other guys really shows.
He's really immature and doesn't know how to handle things. He doesn't want confrontation. He just wants everything to take care of themselves.
I just suggest you just stop talking to him. You didn't do anything wrong, he's acting careless. Start talking to other guys and eventually you'll find a guy who'll want to call you his girlfriend and not talk to you when it's only convenient.
If he leaves when he sees you, that's his problem. He needs to deal with it himself. If running away is what he's gonna do, then let him because you didn't do anything.
Anyways, just let him go and he'll realize what he lost especially when he sees you moving on.
Good luck
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I've gotten myself in a "rut". I can't meet a guy if my life depended on it. All i want is to find someone like the movies. Telling me they don't exist isn't good enough. I've been so scared I've actually been hidding myself. Enclosing myself in my room. Convincing myself the only way i can acchieve love is if i lose weight and change my clothes really become like all the other girls in the movies. I'm not like who i used to be. Going out every night and really having fun, instead i sit at home and watch tv. The easy answer would be: just get out there. But like always it is not as easy as it sounds. Maybe i'm just too harsh on myself? (link)
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You're right, getting out there isn't as easy as it sounds. But honestly, that's what you have to do.
You don't have to be like every girl in a movie to get a guy. You pretty much just have to be yourself. You'll hear that a thousand times but it's true.
You don't have to go out looking for a guy. Go out and have fun. If you meet a guy, great. If not, you still have time.
Just get yourself looking good and feeling comfortable, get some friends and go out.
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So im 12 and going threw the changes and all ,I just want my own room and some place to cool off when I'm mad but I'm stuck sharing a room with my MOM and DADthere are 4 bedrooms and 7 people including my parents and I have 3 older brothers and 2 are very close in age.i asked my mum if they could share but she sayed no please help (link)
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There's nothing you can do to change their mind. It's hard when there are older kids in the house because they have more privileges and they get their own room. It's tough being one of the young kids. You're probably just going to have to wait till they move out.
Until then, you should find another place to be alone when you get upset. Maybe outside somewhere.
Just be patient and try to be understanding about the situation.
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Hi, Thank you for your reply to this question! I appreciate it:-)
I have sort counselling & worked on this situation from the past a lot over the years. I came back to my partner & fully committed myself to working on our relationship plus as hard as it was, gave him & us time we needed to heal. I thought it would all go away peacefully after the many steps I have done but as I wrote from time to time it resurfaces. I am aware that something is still not quite right or that I have not fully cleared the matter up.
I braved it & spoke to my partner last night. The things that I was worried & making myself sick about I had apparently previously already said. He told me I had expanded on one part then we hugged & he said he understood why I still felt I needed to get stuff off my chest.
I sadly, as much as it was on the tip of my tongue, couldn't divulge the main part:-( I hoped I had let out enough but do not think so...I woke up with it still on my mind. I feel sick & believe it is my higher power/universe trying to push it out of me.
As you wrote, whether I decide to tell him it may still come up within me. I am stuck on this hopefully last step/hurdle/process/healing! I see it as live with not telling him, do further work on myself, address it again a.s.a.p with my partner or wait a few days as we just spoke about it. May I have your advice again please? Take care. (link)
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I think you should bring it up again. Since you told him and he understood, you should let the rest out. I'm not sure this will change his mind, as I don't know what the situation is but like before, keep calm and just tell him and know that he might not have the best reactions.
If you do think telling him will help your relationship or help you heal from this past event, then do so. If you do tell him, don't wait since you've recently brought it up. He could get upset that you waited even longer.
After that, if he needs time then let him have it. After a little while, if this past event that you brought up to him is bothering him and is hurting your relationship then I think you should suggest couples counseling and also go to counseling for yourself again.
I've seen many lives changed because of this. It helps because you won't be dealing with it on your own.
I really hope everything works out fine. If you need anything else, let me know.
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Hi,
I have a past situation that still bugs me from time to time & I would appreciate a non judgemental outsiders advice who can step into both shoes please.
There is a long story to this situation, over about 4 years long but the same question remains...Do I tell my partner the whole truth about the situation or continue with him knowing parts or most of the truth, leave it in the past, let it go & move on?
I have been with my partner for 10 years (with a few breaks in between). He was around when this went on & does know a lot about it yet there are parts that I blocked out, feared revealing, were too painful, regretted, was a different person at the time & or traumatised by. Needless to say, certain parts have come back or are clearer now.
I am not fully sure why it comes back to bug me except that it is a part of my past I am ashamed of, the whole truth of it has not been disclosed to anyone, fear of always being defined as the black sheep in the family, no one understands, will I now lose my partner, if I do tell will it really make me feel better & improve our relationship?
I realise this is a grey area & that is why I get so caught up in the whole thing. Do I tell or don't I? I have bit my lip a few times plus started to say more about it then stopped, changed the subject or brushed it off but I am also sick of swallowing it back down, feeling caught in the web, letting it affect my soul & have it return.
We try to tell each other everything. We are normally great communicators. He has been my rock & is a wonderful man. This is something that stops me feel honestly worthy of his love & I believe creates distance between us (from my part) that I do not want us to have. We are looking at getting engaged/married & starting a family soon.
Is it something I must get over & leave alone or it is to be fully shared in hope it does bring us closer after the possible tears & hurt?
Thanks in advance!
(link)
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That's a really tough situation. It is good to tell the truth. This will probably weigh you down unless you learn how to move on from it.
I'm assuming this part of whatever happened in the past would possibly hurt your relationship. What I think you should do is talk to someone about it. See a counselor and talk it out. Obviously what happened is really bothering you and it's still coming up in your mind.
I'm pretty sure even if you told your partner about it, it'll still come up in your head. So maybe you should try figuring out how to solve that problem.
You're looking to have a future with this man so I believe the relationship needs honesty.
It's your choice whether to tell him, it's probably a good idea to. But you already realize it might tear you two apart.
I think you should tell him, but also let him know that you're thinking of talking to someone to figure everything out (If you decide it's something you need to do) Tell him you love him and give him time if he needs it.
I hope everything goes well.
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My friend is 5 feet (Like me) and she's 12. I'm her height, but we're different ages so... She worrys about her weight and I'm just curious on how much a 12 year old 5 foot tall female should weigh. Thanks! (link)
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It all depends on your height, your frame, how you are built, your muscles, ect.
The only way to know for sure is to see a doctor.
I'm pretty sure you can be up to 130 and not be considered overweight. So just go see a doctor because they can be more specific with you and tell you or your friend the weight range you should be in.
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Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl in the 8th grade. I have blue eyes, freckles, pale skin, an oval face and my natural hair color is brown. I got sandy highlights in my hair last spring, and I have long hair. I just want something different, something that's easy to fix in the morning and a hair color that would go well with my pale skin and blue eyes. (link)
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I wouldn't go dark or full on blond. Maybe a light brown would be nice for you.
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i am a 13/female and i like my friend that my other friend wants to ask out as well. what should i do? (link)
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Well, I don't think you should ask him out. You explain to your friend how you feel and that you're not going to ask your friend out because you value your friendship. At that point, she could still ask that guy out but think about it, would you really want to lose a friend because of a guy? Most likely, the guy won't be around in a couple years so don't do anything about how you feel about this guy.
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I'm a 13 year old girl. I am straight. I have some acne (not tht bad), I have long brown hair with blonde highlights, I weigh 103 and I am 5'7. People refer me as independent, cute, awkward, funny, shy, sweet, nice, beautiful, smart, optimistic, cool and fun to be around. I have been on the honor roll since 6th grade(in 8th grade right now). I like dance, track, playing guitar, video games, photography and singing. I am not popular but I am certainly not on the bottom of the list. Why won't boys ask me to be their girlfriend, is there something wrong with me? (link)
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There's nothing wrong with you. You already know you're a great girl. Guys your age just don't focus much on dating in 8th grade. Girls do, and some guys might ask a girl to be their girlfriend but it's always awkward when you're young.
You're only 13, you have so much time to have a boyfriend. Right now, you're doing fantastic. Boys are really immature when they're in middle school and 9th grade. When you get older, you'll realize it. Then when you're older, you'll end up dating because you're pretty, you have something going for you, you're smart, and you have talents. Right now, most guys could care less.
Just enjoy being 13 right now.
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I'm scared my parents fight a lot and I'm the oldest of three kids ( my 8 year old sister and my 4 year old brother) I'm supposed to comfort them but I don't know how to calm my sisters fears without her knowing mine I want to be there for them but I can't do that without crying myself what should I do? (link)
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There are many kids that go through this situation. This happened to me when I was younger.
When this happens, just go do something with your siblings. Color, play a game, do something to distract yourself.
Later when things cool off, you need to talk to your parents and tell them how you're feeling.
Parents fight, adults fight, girlfriends and boyfriends fight. It's not good at all, but it does happen. So just stay strong and know that your parents are going through a hard time as well. When people fight, it effects everyone but I'm sure they're so consumed on how they are feeling that they don't realize you're listening to them.
Just go talk to them and tell them how you're feeling.
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Ok so I have a small crush on him but he is constantly hugging me from behind and he lays his head on my shoulder and offers me his jacket I don't know if he's being nice or if he likes me and there's times when he will just hold me today he told me he didn't want me to leave after school when I was getting on the bus so what do I do? (link)
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It's obvious he likes you. Everyone is always scared of rejection when it comes to someone they like. Start talking to him more and become closer. If you're too nervous to tell him you like him then just keep talking and being friends and he'll tell you how he feels.
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13/F
So I don't have one of those shavers. However, I have an electric one. But my sisters used to use it like last year and stuff...
What should I do about hair down there? I don't like the actual shavers. But I NEED to shave there because I don't like a bush! Should I just use the electric shaver even though I use it on my legs and other people have used it? (I don'r think I can get a new one) (link)
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Well there are different ways to get rid of hair down there. You shouldn't use the electric razor because other people have used it. It's unsanitary. You need to get a razor for yourself and only you because it's not good to share razors at all.
Ask someone in your family to take you to the store so you can buy more razors.
Some girls trim down there and then shave with soap and or shaving cream.
Just remember, don't share your razors or use one that someone else has used.
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Looking for a fast and easy way to hurt myself .. wanting attention and/ or to end up in the hospital.. this is the only thing i can think of, i've tried messing up my kidneys and bladder i have tried cutting i have tried beating my head till it bleeds ...nothing..
(link)
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It's not a good way to get attention. You can go to the hospital or try talking to a counselor to get help.
You obviously want help and you need it so go get it. Trying to get peoples attention never really works that way. You need this and you need someone to talk to so go talk to a counselor and figure everything out.
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hello, my name is Sam. Im 13 almost 14 year old guy. There is this girl on my swim team and i really liked her. I asked her out and she told me it was wrong timing, because she had just broken up with her boyfriend. I told her that that was fine. I gave her some time and about 3 weeks later i asked her again. She said no. Again because she wasnt ready. Then i asked her if she reslly meant that, or if it was just an easy way of "putting me down" she said honestly a little bit of both. Well then she told me later that she likes a guy in my grade (shes one year below me) and asked me if we could just be friends. Honestly.... I dont want to be friends anymore. I want to show her that i am better than him. And i dont know what I should do. (link)
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If you don't want to be her friend, that's completely fine. Don't be her friend because sometimes it's hard to handle friendships when you really like the person.
Being friends means listening to when she talks about other guys, dates other guys, and being there when she needs you.
Once you really like someone, it's hard to handle that.
Anyways, she likes someone else. I don't think there is really a way to show her you're better unless you don't be needy or clingy from her, or holding a grudge that she didn't want to date you. If you act cool and normal like it didn't bother you, you won't seem immature so that might help.
But if she wants the other guy, don't try to stop her because if she wants you, she'll come to you.
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my boyfriend says that he loves me but he doesn't spends money on me. If he does so then also its very rare. Why he does like that? (link)
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It's possible he doesn't have very much money or he's saving it up. Every once in awhile it's fine for a guy to spend money on you but not all the time unless he's rich.
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So there is this guy that was in my college math class. He was very quiet but I thought he was the most gorgeous guy I have ever laid my eyes on. Now he told my friend he was single so I decided to just go rite up to him and give him my number because I would have felt really bad if I didn't even try to communicate with him. Anyways he texted me later on that same night I gave him my number. And we got to talking then I told him to tell me some things about himself he felt comfortable sharing and the one thing hat kind of got to me was that he said "I am in a long distance relationship but shit happens" and when I complemented him he told me thank you and"at least you see that" then asked me to go somewhere with him the following weekend. He keeps flirting when we talk what is he trying to say? (link)
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There could be a few things going on. He told your friend he was single but then told you he's in a long distance relationship that is obviously not going well.
If he is in any sort of relationship, I'd back off until he end things with his girlfriend.
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Let's start here; Basically my mom is not in the best of health right now and she is out of work for quite a while. Been busy taking care of her and everything including chipping in what I can when it comes to money. Well I got an early birthday present and it was nice. She gave me $200 which I thought was funny because most of it is probably going back to taking care of her.
But anyways I have this friend of mine who was in debt for a while and needed help, other wise his debt with the bank would increase again this week. I was kind of hesitant to help him out because he doesn't have a job, best he gets is $20 a week allowance. He had this friend who was supposed to help him with it, but she never showed up, twice in a row in fact and it was already the end of the week. So then I decided to use the money my mom gave me for my birthday to help pay off his debt. He was really grateful and everything, promised to pay me back by saving up every week too.
But thing is why don't I feel good or happy about this good deed? I have a job myself, the pay and hours suck greatly but I manage it. I just don't know why I don't feel good about what I did? Is it because my mom is sick and not working? My jobless friend? What is this not-so good feeling I got? (link)
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I could assume it's because you're just not happy. You're giving all your time to your mom and now more to your friend. You have nothing for yourself. You spend your time worrying about other people, working, and helping others.
It's not a bad thing at all. It's really good but that's probably why you're feeling this.
You're probably not feeling bad because of what you did, you probably just feel bad because that was the $200 your mom gave you, for yourself but you're using it for someone else's problem.
Anyways, my advice is to find time for yourself, to think about yourself.
Maybe put a little money aside for yourself, to spend on something you want or go do something one day when you could get the chance.
It's important to care about yourself.
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Me and my Boyfriend have been using condoms for the passed 4 months since he took my virginity. None has ever broke or had holes in them and no sperm has got on me. My period is due in about 5 days and I usually will feel me starting to cramp. I'm feeling it off and on now but I don't know if I'm imagining it? I'm really paranoid about this and I need advice from someone who knows and can help, please. I'm seriously freaking out. My period isn't late or anything. Its due in about a weel or less. It switches around sometimes so should I be worried? Your advice would be very helpful. Thanks! (link)
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Well you're chances are very slim. You're probably just freaking out for nothing. You can start getting worried next week if you're period hasn't came yet. Then just stop by a store and pick up some tests. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about though.
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so ever since 2 years ago its been hard being in a serious relationship when i guys think your a slut or some fling.... everyones like you have to change the playing field. because i like to make jokes about sex. i like being one of the guys. and i don't have sex with just anybody but if i like you a lot then i do and it comes off as if im easy? and i end up waking up to one nights stands or guys who are like its cool we can be friends with benefits.. but then again before i have sex i try to tell them i want a real relationship..and they run :S .........what to do? (link)
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Well, guys want sex. A lot of guys don't want a relationship. The way you find out if a guy wants a relationship is by not having sex with them. You might like them but if they don't respect you they're only going to stick around for the sex.
If you sleep around a lot, even if you mean well, people will label you as a slut.
It's just, you are looking for love in all the wrong places.
When you really like a guy a lot, you don't have sex with them. You take things slow.
So if you are interested in a guy, just talk and become closer, don't have sex with them, just date and enjoy it. If he is still around by then, then he's probably a good guy and you have a better chance at a relationship.
Good luck!
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I like this girl, and ill be really happy if we were together. We sometimes hug, and sometimes we make eye contact and just tease each other by showing our tongue. But i still dont think she likes me, i know if i ask her out she'll reject me. I have already been rejected and it doesnt feel good, but i really want her. And other people say that she plays with her hair or her jewelry if she likes you, but she doesnt! please help tell me what to do, tell me if she likes me or not!! (link)
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Well I'm sure every guy that likes a girl is always afraid of rejection. But if you like her and you want her, ask her out. If she says no, it's her loss. There are so many girls out there and there will be the right one for you.
And about other people saying if she plays with her hair or jewelry she likes you, it's not exactly true.
Lots of girls just mess with their jewelry because it gives them something to do when they're bored or out of habit.
I always touch and play with my hair. It has become a habit.
Then there are some girls who just don't. So don't worry about that.
Go for her, if it doesn't work out, move on. Good luck!
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