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He says he can't keep up with us
Hello I am 18 year old female. I've been dating this guy for the past 4 months. He never asked me to be his girlfriend but from the start we spent time together and get lunch together, did things couples do. But one day he'd just disappear for a week or two without hearing from him. I respect people and if they need to be alone then that's fine, but he started doing this all the time. I'd ask him if i'd see him this weekend and he'd say no i'm out of town or no i work. Sometimes my friends would see him around campus on the days he said he had to work late, I know he was let out early. I would start to doubt him but then he talks to me and tells me he acts distant because he gets paranoid that I am going to move on. That's when we kinda became official cos I told him it was better if we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. the next time I saw him he used the word "relationship" which never happens. but he still didn't ask me to be his girlfriend. I stayed over his place, he in mine. I came back from school over break and he wanted to see me right away and he took me out to dinner. but then two weeks go by and I haven't seen him nor heard from him. I messaged him and no respond. Then I ask him why he isn't talking to me and his response is "i've just been playing around in my world"..few days later my grandmother passes away. He doesn't know cos he doesn't even check up on how I am doing. So I decide to cut it off without telling him, because he does not want to tell me what's up . So I go to a party and see him there and he says hi, but I ignore him, I was talking to other guys and he actually went right in between me and this guy having a conversation and he just started dancing right there between us trying to block me from talking to the guy. I ignore him, he gets the picture. Next week passes by and he texts me saying he has been thinking about me a lot lately but he can't keep up with us. The next day is superbowl party at our friends house and he walks in 5 minutes after I get there, not even ten minutes go by and he leaves. I ask our friend if he left cos of me and his friend said yes. I don't understand. We aren't talking and I am not going to talk to him cos I am hurt at how the way he is dealing with things. Anytime I try to get serious with him he tries to avoid the conversation. So I am leaving it up to him. So after the party I message him telling him that I am going to miss him and he responds "you see me all the time, say hey or talk to me if you miss me" so I tell him that I can't talk to him cos I am hurt. So first he asks me "what's your plan for recovery?" but then he says "sorry wrong question, why are you hurt?" so I tell him and he says "you have control over all these things. You have as much power as I do. Just remember any situation is what you make it."...so I don't respond because basically he is saying I need to get over it. I never thought he'd be this insensitive, but maybe it is just me. I am not making a huge deal out of it, I haven't flipped out on him, but that is cos I don't need to flip out on him. I guess these things happen, I just wish it wasn't this messy. I really loved him. What should I do about this whole thing? Do I keep not talking to him? I don't want him to leave everytime I am there, it makes me feel like I did something wrong.
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Wow, you were really mature about this whole thing. The fact that you haven't flipped out on him and you stopped talking to him and talked to other guys really shows.
He's really immature and doesn't know how to handle things. He doesn't want confrontation. He just wants everything to take care of themselves.
I just suggest you just stop talking to him. You didn't do anything wrong, he's acting careless. Start talking to other guys and eventually you'll find a guy who'll want to call you his girlfriend and not talk to you when it's only convenient.
If he leaves when he sees you, that's his problem. He needs to deal with it himself. If running away is what he's gonna do, then let him because you didn't do anything.
Anyways, just let him go and he'll realize what he lost especially when he sees you moving on.
Good luck
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