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Sharing whole truths about a traumatic past situation
Hi, Thank you for your reply to this question! I appreciate it:-)
I have sort counselling & worked on this situation from the past a lot over the years. I came back to my partner & fully committed myself to working on our relationship plus as hard as it was, gave him & us time we needed to heal. I thought it would all go away peacefully after the many steps I have done but as I wrote from time to time it resurfaces. I am aware that something is still not quite right or that I have not fully cleared the matter up.
I braved it & spoke to my partner last night. The things that I was worried & making myself sick about I had apparently previously already said. He told me I had expanded on one part then we hugged & he said he understood why I still felt I needed to get stuff off my chest.
I sadly, as much as it was on the tip of my tongue, couldn't divulge the main part:-( I hoped I had let out enough but do not think so...I woke up with it still on my mind. I feel sick & believe it is my higher power/universe trying to push it out of me.
As you wrote, whether I decide to tell him it may still come up within me. I am stuck on this hopefully last step/hurdle/process/healing! I see it as live with not telling him, do further work on myself, address it again a.s.a.p with my partner or wait a few days as we just spoke about it. May I have your advice again please? Take care.
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I think you should bring it up again. Since you told him and he understood, you should let the rest out. I'm not sure this will change his mind, as I don't know what the situation is but like before, keep calm and just tell him and know that he might not have the best reactions.
If you do think telling him will help your relationship or help you heal from this past event, then do so. If you do tell him, don't wait since you've recently brought it up. He could get upset that you waited even longer.
After that, if he needs time then let him have it. After a little while, if this past event that you brought up to him is bothering him and is hurting your relationship then I think you should suggest couples counseling and also go to counseling for yourself again.
I've seen many lives changed because of this. It helps because you won't be dealing with it on your own.
I really hope everything works out fine. If you need anything else, let me know.
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