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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Hey guys!
I need some serious help. This is kind of hard to explain but I will do my best. So there is a guy that I used to like but now has a gf. Lets just call him Smile for now. I do not like him anymore but because of a friend of mine, he still think that I still like him. He knew that I liked him by the way. So this friend of mine keeps asking Smiles for them to hang out but he doesnt want to and he thinks that I am the one telling her to ask him if they can hang out in attempt for me to be in their "hang out", if they do, so that I can get close to him(Smiles). Smile's girlfriend knows me some how and Smiles tells her everything and how he thinks that I am trying to get close to him and that has caused his girlfriend to hate me. I am a person that does not like conflict or drama and I want to let smile know that what ever my friends talks to him about or what she asks him, I dont have anything to do with it. I have told my friend to stop doing whatever that is causing smile to think the way that he thinks but she has refused. This is what I was planning to call and talk to smile about. Since we used to talk, I will call him and ask him how he has been and whatever and then say something like this...." I know that most of the things my friend talks to you about and asks you for makes you think that it has to do with me or I told her to ask you but it is not true. what ever she asks you is coming from her and not me." What else should I say or add? Please help. If this is too confusing please let me know a better way to contact you so that you get more details.
I agree that saying what you have planned is good enough. Depending on anything he might say or ask, you may have to say more. Just stick with the truth.
I do have one concern though. I do not know if your girlfriend is asking Smiles to be able to hang out with him. What I wondered if that is asking for only herself, or to invite along a handful of friends and if she is even considering asking you to come along if he says yes. She can do what ever she wants if it is only for herself that she is asking but something is wrong with her if she can't plainly see he already has a girlfriend and is not looking for another and may no longer want to be part of a hang out group so he can focus just on her for now.
If it is truly as you say and you have moved on from having an interest in him, then seeing him with the other gal shouldn't be a problem for you. But just in case your friend is trying to play match maker in a round about way and get you into his presence, you need to think about whether you can handle it, if Smiles agrees to letting others hang with him while he still has this other girl. As you mentioned, she sounded jealous. Jealousy is a fear of losing something. So the other girl doesn't feel sure about being able to keep his interest and his devotion. So just because of that, I wouldn't want to be hanging out, even if invited finally. Wish you the best and I hope it all turns out okay for you.
Thank you so much. I just didn't know what to do because this would be my first job if I get it and I didn't want to blow this opportunity.
Fast food places are some of the easiest to get hired at and they do hire mostly younger people so if it doesn't work for one, always try another. Good luck.
Lastnight my boyfriend called me a bitch and said he was kidding and didnt mean it. I told him it hurt my feelings and he said sorry. But i just cant get over it.
You did the right thing to tell him that it hurt your feelings. Stating that is part of letting him know what you consider acceptable behavior from him and what isn't. Have your boundaries and rules and share them right up front with a guy who has asked you out and come back a second time for a date, so you know he is still interested in seeing you. That's the time to teach a guy what you expect. I know how it hurts to have someone you care about say anything bad and then claim to have been kidding.
I am happily married for the 2nd time. The first man was verbally abusive. So if your guy has some kind of emotional problem or whatever is causing him to hurt you and keep doing bad things, the problem is him, not you and he likely needs to see a counselor. It is fair to warn your boyfriend that his use of that word will be forgiven this one time. However if he ever repeats talking to you in any derogatory manner or even raising his voice to you and yelling, that you will end the relationship. You have to be willing to do this or young men are not going to feel they need to change. When girls refuse a guy for how he treats them, if it was done in innocence and not knowing any better, yes give them a chance to prove they can do better but you have to let them know this is one of your rules and boundaries. If he purposely repeats the behavior, its over. Yes, he might break up with you if he doesn't really care about you in the first place. There are more bad boyfriend possibilities than good ones so don't give up if you do not find a good guy from the start. I met with dozens of guys before I found the one I would marry for 2nd marriage.
If you find you can't forgive him for this one time slip up, keep in mind you are actually hurting yourself by choosing to feel that way and it does not affect him at all. Give yourself time to get over the hurt but unless a person gets amnesia, their mind will remember everything from the past, no matter if good or bad memories. However with time, some of the sting and hurt goes away. But its a choice to decide to forgive and give a 2nd chance.
However if he does not realize that he is on unsteady ground with you and that if he messes up again that you'd get angry enough at being hurt again to dump him, its not fair that he feels anything is acceptable and then in a second you only tell him then after he's already done it a second time.
The females, even young ones, who are assertive for their rights to be treated well and put it out there as to what is acceptable, actually do not scare away many males. Young teen boys haven't learned yet and maybe some college age, but in general, men are not stupid when it comes how to treat a women. Lots of the small stuff they don't know, but can learn about the particular girl they like buts its pretty simple for a guy to understand that they wouldn't like it if someone went around calling them derogatory names, so they shouldn't treat anyone else like that even as a joke because their sense of humor is very twisted. Really, it should be obvious to a male how to not mess up on some basic stuff here. This may be a character flaw in him. If you know that you are not going to settle for less than exactly what you need and want in a guy, its then a matter of being imformative to the guy and setting the standards so he has an opportunity to improve. If a guy really cares about you, he will change and improve his behaviour. If he doesn't care, you will know by his on going treatment of you. Lots of guys don't like to see tears on a girls face. If freaks them out in the first place but secondly, if they really love and treat you well, they will be concerned to find if your tears are due to something they did. Now I have the most perfect husband for me but there have been 2 or 3 situations where something he did brought tears to my eyes. He was immediately concerned and wanted to know if it was because of him. When I explained how I didn't like what he had done, He apologized and promised to never do that particular thing again. I can't think of all things to warn him about ahead of time so sometimes it's not until the situation arises that we find a need to clarify things. So be vocal. It is okay to know what you want and ask for it. Mature men who know what they want in a female are not put off by your having and stating your rules and boundaries. It shows the female is self confident and that is something men find sexy. In many cases, men were attracted to self confident women over lack of confidence in models types. It's been proven in tests. So really hon, you do have power on your side if you handle this right. Good luck.
if your job was being audited...would you leave them? I don't see being audited a good sign...that means money spent cant be accounted for and the irs finds that odd.
I agree with all adviceman said. My ex used to do taxes and a couple of his clients had calls from IRS wanting to meet with them for an audit due to something on the tax form that didn't make sense to them. In this case it had to do with a home business and what was okay to use as tax write off. This is best handled by a persons tax preparer to be the one to explain and show all records to the auditor from IRS. So depending on the situation, there may be nothing wrong at all. So I also suggest asking company officials for the truth. Unless you already know that bosses have admitted money spent that can't be accounted for, then there is likely no issue to worry about.
16/south africa
At school ive always been known as the "nice girl" and the teachers think im a really sweet person - which i am. Now my class has been having problems because we're in a small school with only 13 in a class. We got in a huge fight. Theres one girl, lets call her bella. Weve never liked each other but we do get along sometimes. She asked me what i thought of this other girls profile picture and i said shes changed alot - she went from quiet and shy to confident and showing her body. Now i was absent from school and bella told my favourite teacher i called this girl a slut and how two faced i am. And the teacher was shocked that i would say something like that. Then today in when theybwere in that class and i wasnt they told her that ive been fingered - even though i havent. Now this teachers oponion of me is changing and all the other teachers probably also.
This is bothering me alot because i dont know how to stop this. Its ruining my reputation and i also wana be headgirl at my school - so my reputation cant be ruined. How can i get my teachers to understand that they were lying? We have young teachers so its really close relationships with them.
Going to the teacher with your side of the story is important. If it seems teachers or any other school officials start treating you worse, then it will be time to involve your parents or guardians. I also feel lots of teachers know that a student with a good behavior does not change so drastically. You did say your teachers were young so if they are in their early 20's they may not yet have to skills to know how to properly deal with this situation and they need to learn. You may just be the person with an issue that instigates a new training of the teachers on how to handle such a thing in the future. So don't keep quiet about it. Be vocal about anything and everything someone does to you that seems vindictive. Its better coming from you first before this Bella person can go spread the poison. Don't keep quiet wondering what the adults are thinking about you. If you keep quiet, they may feel you do so to avoid bringing attention to yourself because you feel guilty cus you did do something to feel guilty about. You don't want to send the wrong message. So start with practicing telling your parents to see how you'd do telling your story. That girl is probably being affected by puberty hormones which can alter the persons character and make some emotions run out of hand, such as uncontrollable anger and easily irritated or just hating someone and wanting to be mean. This can happen to even a girl who is always nice and hormones change her attitudes so I am not surprised to hear what she did. However, the adults shouldn't believe it. They may not. Just because they looked or sounded shocked when told, doesnt mean they beleive you did it, they could simply be shocked at what the girl said to her.
In the past number of months, I have had a couple...I don't know what to call them...I think they might be panic attacks or anxiety attacks or something?
I have what my therapist calls a "mild mood disorder", I'm not sure if people are familiar with the term, but basically it's like depression but less severe.
Anyways, there have been a couple times where I have been in situations that normally would make me slightly uncomfortable/upset (ex. packing to go to university, working on a group project where the group members didn't agree on things) which I reacted to in ways which scared me. It starts with feeling uncomfortable, then I want to cry. My throat tightens up, I start breathing really shallowly. I feel trapped, and I can't think rationally enough to figure out what I need to feel better. Sometimes I start feeling sick or lightheaded.
I don't what these are. I haven't told my therapist about them, I probably should, but it just hasn't come up.
Anyone know what is happening to me? What can I do to prevent/stop these?
I used to have anxiety issues and anxiety can easily cause the reactions you are having. So i agree with Hollywood, its likely anxiety. So if you have a therapist, next time let them know of anything and everything you feel may be important if it has to doing with your emotions and how you feel. The therapist will ask standard questions but may not think of or know to ask you some specific questions that would help your therapist know what was going on. I don't think you can over do it. When ever I see a Dr. I tell them all sorts of things that they never asked questions about and it has been helpful to the Dr. in knowing what to do about an issue I have medically. Don't wait for the subject to be brought up, just tell whats going on for you. Next appointment, all you need to do at the very start is say, I have something important to share with you about issues I am having that I haven't told you before since you didn't ask me anything that would cover it. Or you might be better able to say, I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if it was important information to you but I am not doing good so thats why I am telling you now. Just do it. While you are seeing your therapist, there are things you can do, reading books meant to help those with depression or anxieties because they are based on treatment using CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. Read these books to know that there is hope for you for a full recovery to a normal life.
Here is a link to The website of David D. Burns, MD
https://feelinggood.com/
So this is my story, (I tried to condense it at the end if you don’t want to read it all):
I’m kinda friends with this guy from school. (I’m a junior girl, he’s a senior.) He’s nice and friends with a lot of people. My problem is that I’ve kinda been friends with him for a while, and we’ve had our ups and downs, but now we’ve reached a plateau.
Once a week almost every week, I get together with some friends and he’s there too. Those days, I have so much fun with my friends and with him. However, the rest of the week, me and him act like strangers and avoid each other. It’s because of me.
You see, he’s really good friends with people who I hate and who hate me. I’m okay with that, he can be friends with whoever he wants. The thing is, whenever I try to talk to him, one of those people (they’re freshmen girls btw) comes up and sorta steals him away. Like, I’ll be talking to him and then one of them comes up and inserts themself into the conversation and steals his attention away and I curl up into shyness and they both leave and I feel crummy and embarrassed. He’s the kind of person who won’t say no to anyone. If it seems like I don’t want to talk (which I don’t when someone I don’t get along with is there) then he won’t try to talk to me. It sucks when I want to talk to him but he won’t tell the other person to hold on a moment. I’ve gotten so tired of this that I especially avoid him when those people are around.
I’m a pretty shy person and I see him so very little a day and those people are almost always there so we don’t communicate that much because I’m scared.
He knows that I have a problem with those people, but what kinda upsets me is that he doesn’t really care. In the past, multiple times, he’s told me he wants to be friends with me, but he doesn’t put any effort into it. I always start the conversation. He never puts any effort into making sure I’m comfortable.
The only time I can interact with him are those hangout-nights, when it’s just friends. Those times are so special to me because they were like a break from the struggles of life and after a tough week, I knew I had a chance to just have fun.
Recently, I’ve found out that he and a few of the friends from those nights have had their own hangout-nights with the people who I hate/hate me. They can do whatever they want to, I just get jealous that something so important to me is now something who those people can now get in on. It’s like I’ve found an island in the ocean but suddenly sharks grow legs and take over my island.
What I’m upset about is that those people get to see him every day and now also at their own hangout-nights while I only get to see him once a week at my own hangout-nights.
Despite the fact that we’ve been friends for a few years now, despite the fact that he’s always insisted we are friends, I get treated like I’m a once a week special.
I’ve become okay with this.
For a while, I was fine with that.
Now though, I’m wondering if it’s worth it.
Every day, I see him having fun with those people and they must be having fun if they want to have their own hangout-nights.
I want to be his friend, but if he enjoys them more, that’s fine. I don’t want to waste my time or his. I don’t want to make him choose between me or them.
It hurts seeing him always having fun with them and thinking that that could never be me and I know I’m just being jealous and selfish but recognizing that doesn’t make it hurt less.
My question is, should I keep up this once-a-week friendship or should I move on?
Should I suffer through the week for a reward of happiness, or should I forget about both?
Both choices will hurt. One hurts a lot but has some joy. One just hurts.
Hopefully, this will all end in May, after he graduates.
Any advice you can give me, whether it’s an answer, an alternate choice, or just things to consider, is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
It may be a case of his not having any good manners and that could be due to inexperience and being young and a Sr. qualifies as young and inexperienced as far as being a young adult. Although manners should be really known at a much younger age. It's not your job to teach him manners so if what he is doing as a friend is choosing others over you, then the guy isn't as interested as you. YOu are just another school friend. I see no where that you both have a committed dating relationship. So until you are supposedly in that position, its fine if a guy doesn't pay you the amount of attention you require. If you become a guys girlfriend, then you can expect to be one of his 3 top priorities juggled between.
For a friend who is not available for you because he prefers friendship of people who do not like , you, the fact is you are lower on the scale of importance than all these other student friends. Or he would find a way to brush them off or ask them to wait until he was done talking to you. So if you decide to stop being a friend to him, you might have to explain why if he asks. And one of the big things you could say, without putting blame on him (even if you're right...it works to keep other person open and listening and not closing off the moment they think they hear character complaints against them. So just mention how you feel.
Example: "Joe, everytime we are talking and someone walks up and interrupts, you give them your full attention and that makes me feel left out and not as important. I am the kind of person who needs a friend who makes me feel important to them and that isn't happening with us. You know that these people you are hanging out with are people I don't get along with and I wouldn't consider asking you to choose between me and them. You are free to talk to whomever you like but it isn't working for me. So I feel it is better to no longer pretend, and try to find time to spend together with each other. Sure it hurts but hon....that is what relationships friends or dating is about, we have to open our hearts to make a connection and so are hearts are vulnerable to getting hurt, be it from a friend or a mate/partner. Dating is actually a good venue in which to discover more about a person when two people are attracted to each other. In dating you learn more about the person so you can decide if you want to continue dating or move on because you do not like how they treat you and that means you need to have your standards of what you expect from a friend or someone more than a friend. If what you expect is unreasonable, then every person will say so. If only a few find your rules, boundaries and wishes in a guy too harsh, then its because they have low self esteem and know at the start they won't be able to win you over. YOu are young enough that it is hard confronting a person on a relationship issue. YOu feel you may be overthinking it or unfair but you deserve respect from those who call you their friend and he is not treating you with respect.
If he seems to have no problem with you moving on, then you'll know you're making the right move cus hon, its not worth staying with anyone long term if they don't treat you nicely. I married at 20 and spent 30 yrs with a man who was verbally abusive and said he loved me as a person but told our counselor that he had never been in love with me. That explained a lot. I did find a good 2nd husband and now have a wonderful happy relationship with both of us in love with the other. So at the right time, when you are actually ready for the right person, they will come along.
Good luck
So the other day I had a job interview at MacDonald's and they said that they would call me and tell me if I got the job of not. My problem is that I have an appointment with the dentist Wednesday to have dental Surgery I should be fine to go back to work the next day since I am only having 5 teeth pulled if I get the job. Would it be okay to ask for the day off if they call or do I need to reschedule my appointment with the dentist? I just don't want to get fired when I just get the job . Thanks in advance.
I agree that you will need time to recover. When I was younger, I had 2 wisdom teeth extracted as well as one upper tooth that had no where to fit and came out roof of mouth. With just 3 pulled, I ended up not only sore but swollen cheeks and chin, looking like a chipmunk with nuts stashed in my cheeks. When an employer decided to accept a person on staff, it is perfectly okay to mention your appt. and when you can start. Dont worry
I'm in the process of wanting to commit suicide as I want to be with my son, I haven't got anyone at all, my partner ignores me blames me for what our son did, he wrote me a letter blameing me and how much he hates me and he wished I was dead instead, I'm having nightmares and dreaming of being with my son so so much, iv tryd to get help and I cant get any at all, I'm on medications and it makes me feel even worse, I sit up each and every night now as iv planned my suicide to the end, as I vet left at him on my own quite alot and i know I wouldn't be found till.i am dead, I need help and I cant get it so what's the point, I wouldn't be missed at all as I'm always on my own anyway, I tryd it last year and it felt so good as it took the pain away what I was feeling, cant believe I am still here, please help me or vive me son advice to help me please, next time I'm going to go somewhere very spe ial so I has to be right I do t want to wake.yp I'm done and fed up, iv found homes for my pets tht iv raised and they don't need me now, thank you for reading
On this site, no one will help someone to end their life. You may be very depressed due to your situsation and not seeing possible paths to take. I don't know but I will address the qusetions at least raised in my mind from the choice of words you put down. But before I go into that, I want to share with you a helpline number in case you have not thought of calling. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Now you say you lost your son. I do not know if this was in a custody battle or if you meant he died in an accident or committed suicide himself. The only other "lost" scenerio I can think of is if this is an adult son who decided to cut you out of his life and just disappear. Depending on the actual situation, there are possible ways to address your issue and learn ways to find peace or a solution.
I'll tell you what it does sound like, and it doesn't matter if the son was an infant or anything inbetween up to adult aged. This sounds like something that couples go through when losing a child, the stress and the grieving is bad enough but when a partner begins to blame you for a chlids death even if in truth there was nothing you could do as a parent to help the son. Some people are drawn closer to support each other through a hard time and for others, it tears apart the relationship, that is if both are not willing to go for counseling. If this is the case, both of you need to see a professional ASAP but if you can't get to that moment, then calling the crisis line I posted should be your first move.
If a court decreed in a divorce and custoday battle that you will not get the son, I do not know under what reasons they made that decision but If you truly believe it all based on falsehoods made up about you, get another lawyer and appeal it. If a partner just grabbed the kid and disappeared with it, you have as much right to the child and your partner can not hog the child to hisself especially if you both are not divorced or at least there is no court ordered parenting plan. One should get the child weekdays and other on the weekends or alternating weekends. While not the ideal, at least by going through the courts you can assure that you will have your son around enough to continue to have a relationship with him. I could continue to write a entire essays worth to go over all possibilities. I listed the couple examples to show you there are path to take, it's not like you do not have any options, even though thats all you see right now due to your emotions. Your medications may not be helping much and you might start with seeing your Dr. to get on something that works better for you.
While working on new meds, you could try also a non medical way to ease or get rid of depression or anxieties that may be plaguing you. If its either of those conditions, I know of a process some psychologists are using these days called CBT, cognitive, behavioral therapy. It helps rid me of social anxiety. I have belief in these methods as many folks no longer have depression. Just to give you hope, please check out the website of an author/former psychologist who uses the CBT method. I've read his books, some were at my library. In case I am right about the depression/anxieties, you owe it to yourself to give this a try or at least check out the website, see the list of books. Listen to some of his podcasts, and read the comments of people who wrote in, having been helped hy his books.
https://feelinggood.com/
You may write back with any clarifications, although I would still tell you the same things. I wish you the best in life and a bright hopeful future.
I'm 21 and usually 85 pound or a little less, but 4ft 10in.
I've always looked different because of how short I am and I'm also pale. Instead of ever being called hot or sexy I've always been called "cute"or "pretty", or told that look like a doll. To be honest it kind of gets to me. I always feel ugly because I'm surrounded by tall blonde bombshell types even though people tell me I'm pretty all the time. I also feel like every time I see a photo of myself I look fugly because people take bad photos of me at weird angles. Meanwhile my friends always look perfect in photos! I think this also affects how I feel about myself.
It makes me feel better to be skinny. I figure at least I have that going for me. My father and my friends have always talked about how ugly they perceive overweight people to be so I always try to be skinny.
Recently my new doctor told me she wanted to see me gain 10 pounds by my next appointment with her and that I needed to be at least 100 eventually. I refuse to do this, because I actually want to be skinnier. Right now I can't see my ribs and I want to be able to so I'm kind of trying to lose weight. At the same time though I love food and I typically eat twice a day and then a snack or two. This week I've been sick with the flu and I keep throwing up, but I'm kind of happy that I'm throwing up and get a little disappointed when I don't see a lot of regurgitated food because my body absorbed the rest already. I also want to say that I'm not throwing up on purpose, it's just because I'm sick and I would never make myself throw up on purpose.
I've recently told two people I was trying to lose weight and they didn't even flinch. I was kind of hoping they would tell me I shouldn't and now I feel like I do need to lose weight until people do tell me I shouldn't. On top of this a month or two back I had a guy grab my stomach while I was a little bloated (from pms) and tell me that I could lose that weight. He was laughing about it, but it made me want to do just that. I stopped being friends with him, but I still think about it all the time. I also think about how when I sit there's a little overlap flab of skin. I want that to go away and I don't want a little pouch at all when I lay down or stand up.
I'm feeling extremely self conscious and hoping that being sick takes some pounds off of me. If it doesn't I think I'm going to try something that does. I don't think I have an eating disorder though? I'm not anorexic or bulimic because I love eating food and hate the feeling of throwing up. I kind of want to be 75 pounds, maybe 70 but that still seems like a lot...
I just want to feel pretty.
I do not know what BMI chart your Dr. is using but according to the chart I bring up, a weight of 90 lbs for your height is considered healthy so you are perhaps just a little underweight. BMI is body mass indicator and here is the chart for you to see for yourself.
http://www.bmi-chart.info/bmi-chart/68-bmi-chart-table
The chart doesn't differentiate between men or women and doesn't take into account bone structure. Bones weigh too. So depending on whether you are what they call 'bird-like' which I translate into fine boned or if you have medium sized bone structure or big boned, how much weight you should weigh will change. The bigger the bones, the more you weigh on a scale but you may not have enough weight. I did look at charts for Asian women who are typically smaller framed and shorter than other races and you are in a pretty good spot if you are fine boned. If not, you may be close and only need to add 5 lbs. So a gain of 10 would still be okay and you wouldn't be overweight.
Now as to whether you have an eating disorder...you don't yet as you explalined how much you eat and you don't throw it up. However your thinking sounds exactly like that of females who have eating disorders so if what I call distorted thinking, doesn't change for you, you will soon have an eating disorder. Then you would need counseling from a professional who deals with eating disorders.
Due to your height, and being slim, yes many people will consider you 'doll-like'. Being pale of complexion will give you that porcelain or china doll look which is something that Upper class women used to strive for from Renaissance period (14 century) to 19th century. It is not often you find both a petite person with paler skin but that doesn't make you abnormal or any less pretty. Hispanic women are often really short and sometimes shorter than you so you are not alone in being 'vertically challenged' as a friend used to tease me, and i am 5'2.
There will always be men who find the porcelain doll look more to their liking. Not all men are the same in their preferences. At your age bracket tho, many males have not yet figured out which type of woman they are most attracted to for more than a passing fad. If you look up short female celebs. you will see there are many who are only five feet tall and yet look sexy and have guys who are 6 ft or taller. Apparently it doesn't matter to some men. If you feel good about yourself, people will subconsciously pick up on that, men too and you will begin to get more admiring looks.
If you need a boost in self confidence, let me know and I can share something you can do that works. It worked for me and I found it in a womens magazine long ago.
I am fairly young under the age of 18 and had been engaging in oral sex with my boyfriend who has suffered from a cold sore years ago. I had oral sex with him on a Saturday and then by the Wednesday I had some discomfort weeing. I had a look up my vagina on the Saturday to see thrush build up (have encountered thrush oral/vaginal for two years every few months). I treated it with canestan, however I was finding it painful to wee and to sit down properly. The next week I went to the doctors on Tuesday and was told I have genital herpes, and had medication thrown at me without any swabs taken. I then decided to go to a GUM clinic on the Thursday to be swabbed, I am now waiting for my results. The lady who swabbed me said it looks like genital herpes. However I keep reading it up on the internet and have found that a yeast infection can also cause red bumps down there. I have suffered with yeast infections for two years both in my mouth and vagina. I was put on the mini pill to stop the reoccurring of the infection however I still had it. They have said my hormones are incredibly imbalanced, my mother and my nan have also had these spots down there and it has been to do with a yeast infection. My question is what do you think it is, a yeast infection or herpes.
What I think will not solve the problem is I guess wrong. However since you have suffered yeast infections in the past and are prone to getting them and/or thrush, it simply means that not only are the hormones imbalanced but your body is needing someething else in vitamins or supplements, amino acids, etc that are missing in your diet.
If what you have at any given point in time is not an outbreak of herpes or both herpes and yeast at same time, then you need only to treat the yeast. It can be done by adding probiotics to your diet. One food that has some is yogurt and you may have heard people say to take that for yeast infections, eating it or plain yogurt placed inside the vagina for yeast infections. I am putting 2 links up to get you educated on probiotics and foods that are good to eat. However, the best way to add it into the diet is to go to a vitamin supplement store or health food store in your area or order on line and get probiotics with high concentration of live cultures. This is what will treat the imbalance causing yeast infections and also help prevent it in the future. You can get a 2nd opinion on the herpes though. I have it too but not often. I got regular screening for STDs but never asked them to screen for herpes which most places won't as it is such a common disease that the maajority of people have it. The problem is that a person can be a carrier of the virus but never having had an outbreak. Stress is what usually causes an outbreak. When I left a bad marriage and went through a divorce and had to get resettled on my own, that was the greatest stress I'd ever had at once and that caused me to have my first outbreak after years of never having it even though I was a carrier. A carrier can pass it on just by skin contact even without an outbreak as the germs of the virus will be present on the surface of the skin having traveled up the nerves from where they lay dormant until they rise to the surface usually because of stress or low immune system. Trying to determine if its herpes simply by looking at your skin is not good enough, they need to test in a lab to be sure. Right now, I'd focus on getting rid of yeast problems. Heres the links:
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/food/best-probiotics
https://smarter-reviews.com/lp/sr-probiotics?ch=paid&pl=aws&ca=SR-Probiotics-exact&gclid=CjwKEAiAi-_FBRCZyPm_14CjoyASJAClUigOiTWmXjCzFbSfm6h7pOvn_9yxFX5I6L4JkHNIsy9-ZBoCcmrw_wcB
Okay, so how it all started.
A close friend has a tendency to ignore me when he gets upset. I hate being ignored, it hurts. He always has excuses to ignore me for days!
So the last time he did it I don't know what got into me but I just decided to cut. To my surprise, it actually helps! Not the pain but the blood. I don't know but seeing the blood makes me feel way better. I feel less bad. So after that I cut every time I get angry, frustrated or when I just feel bad. Well, my life isn't exactly great, I have other better reasons for cutting besides my dumbass friend.
I do not cut deep so I do not think its any dangerous but should I still stop? I cut my thighs and hips not my wrists so no one finds out. If I have to stop how do I stop? Its really addicting.
Yes you should stop cutting. And yes it is hard to stop cold turkey just like it is hard for smokers to stop smoking. A person needs help with that. You won't be able to stop just because you want to. And thats where the advice from adviceman comes in. I second everything he said. I wish you the best dear. You are a very intelligent person hon, for reaching out here to ask for help. I only hope you do see this advice as the real help, no matter how scary it may seem. If you face your fears and start the process, the fear will soon subside. Fear is a bully that keeps you from mentally being able to take the steps to change for the better. Good luck and God Bless.
I have finger my girlfriend but she don't get period why what is the reason
Fingering doesn't stop a period. What changes the time a period will start is actually being in the presence of other menstruating women and its a weird thing of science but womens periods will slowly chainge to start later or sooner to match the same time as all the other women.
Other than that, stress will delay a period and can do so for months if the stress is great enough.
There is enough stress for a female when she is not on birth control and messing around and always worried about getting pregnant if getting carried away.
Then there's the stress of illness on the body. The bodys energy goes into fighting off sickness so it isn't available to pour into her cycle.
If you both intend to keep being sexual together, its best that you have condoms on hand but even that is not enough as accidents can happen if they break or leak, so she is better off getting on the pill and eliminating that worry.
So Im a girl and I'm 17 years old and I have known this guy since I basically started school I've known him for 10 years, I have liked him on and off for years and he knows and he's liked me before. But not recently have we liked each other. We are in our last year of high school and we have been put in a group together, this has made us talk again and its like we are good friends. But my feelings are coming back for him... but I don't know if he will like me back again but recently he has walked up to me and said Hey (my name) then talks to me or goes (my name) can you believe this just happened. Like I'm surrounded by my friends but he's not bothered with talking with everyone just me and he keeps using my name and he always looks me dead in the eyes like he is only focusing on what I'm saying and he always tries to get a seat by me. What do these things mean?
He obviously likes you. This is common body language. We don't consciously think about it, its just a human instinct that one acts on subconsciously without being aware. If a person seeks you out and always tries to be near you, they like you. If a person leans towards to when you are talking, it shows they are genuinely interested in what you have to say and like you. If seated or standing, the persons foot or both feet are pointed towards you, they like you. If you watch for and catch him copying some of your movements, (called mirroring) he likes you. People tend to unconsciously copy the movements of the person they like such as if you cross your legs while seated, he may move his leg up on the other leg, of if you tuck your hair behind an ear, he might do the same to himself or something close like scratching his eaer. This is mirroring. Sounds like you are already pretty good friends. If you want to try for more than friends, heres what to say: "Hey, we've been doing great as friends for a while here. It makes me wonder if we might do just as good if it were something more than friends? What do you think?"
This is not asking point blank if he'll date you so it is not so scary for a guy to answer. If he is interested in dating you, this is his chance to ask since he now knows you are open to trying it. If not interested that way and only a friend, he will say something here too to head you off at the pass before you might develop deeper feelings for him.
Hi, he says he can't give me a lift if it's too far unless if I'm taking him to movie however he always offers me a lift but if it's too far then he can't but keep asking,'are you going somewhere', come on,'i will drop you off, he says,'i say ok cool, thanks.'also mentioned few times saying, 'i will give you a lift even though it's far if you're taking me to movie' and we just look at each other and smile. i know him for about 2 and half months and became really good friends. we have a lot of laugh when we're together. so guys, is he indirectly asking me to go out with him or just being friendly or am i overthinking? we do flirt but in a slight amount and i reckon i like him a little. thank you all!
He may be financially tight on money. If you think of what it would cost in bus fare, and gas being about that at the most or even less, how does that compare to the cost of you paying for 2 movie tickets. Based on cost on the west coast where I am, I would say the movie cost is more expensive.
It doesn't sound as much like Him asking you out rather than trying to find a deal and getting you to pay for his way, in a round about fashion. If money is that tight, then it is best that when you both hang out together, that each pay their own way. That means he boys his own movie ticket, and you pay for your half of what the gas cost him. This would require him clocking the miles on the speedometer of a round trip of him leaving home to pick you up, drive to the movies and take you home. His trip home from there is questionable whether you pay or not if he would've gone to movie anyways. Make sure you are not getting caught up with a guy who is the type who depends on the woman too much financially.
so basically... i think i fell out of love with the guy (lets call him A) ive been dating for awhile. i don't rlly say i love you, and since we are in school together, i try to avoid him because i dont want to go public.
so a few days back, he told me that he thinks i dont like him anymore, bc i rarely say ily and i dont want to be near him at skl, and he said "correct me if im wrong" that made me think, do i really like him? and since then ive ignored him, it has been like 3 days, but during these 3 days, he still messaged me and said he loves me and such, but i still didnt reply. i didnt reply because i dont know what to do, i think that i dont like him anymore, but im not entirely sure, i dont want make a huge mistake. but i think that i want to break up, because i know that i think i dont like him anymore?? i stil want to stay friends cuz overall, hes like a really good guy, sweet and stuff. i know that if i say that i wanted to breakup, he would ask for a reason which i dont have one. the feelings are just gone. i just dont want to date him, i want to be friends.
i know that i might seem to be a player, but i am truly not, i mean hes my first love so why would i? i just dont know how to say that i want to be just friends, because i know that its either all or nothing
When we are young and in school, relationships, dating and love are all a learning experience. I understand you not knowing what to say to him if not interested anymore so it is good you wrote in.
Basically to avoid and not say a thing to him comes across to him as rude and immature. Well, it would come across that way to anyone you did that too, even though its not your intent.
Feelings change quickly at your age. Dating is actually a time when you learn more about the other person to decide if you still like them enough to want to continue to date and become exclusive, committed. At a young age, its not even about that yet, just getting used to what the other sex is like because boys and girls are quite different in how they think, explain, and such.
Think of what he must feel like. Its quite easy. Lets say you were in love with a guy and he fell out of love with you and just stopped talking and started avoiding you without explanation. Wouldn't you be hurt. Sure it hurts to have someone break up with you but it also hurts to be avoided without explanation.
Just approach him where there are no people around to listen in. He won't want an audience to witness this. Tell him that you have been avoiding him because you had no idea how to go about telling him something important. You realize now that it was unfair not to say anything and you need for him to know that your feelings have changed. You do not feel the same as you once did and that he did not do anything wrong. You just simply do not feel that needed chemistry to be a couple. So you are letting him go.
Hon, there is no easy way to tell someone you are breaking up, but it is the right thing so that he knows for sure, can do his grieving and when ready start dating again.
there's this woman cashier I see whenever I frequent this store. she is always extra happy to see me, she is always smiley and says hi too me, she isn't like that with anyone else, just me. she even gets upset if I ignore her..I find it funny, my brother told me to give her my number maybe we could hang out...now im not the outdoorsy/travel type, and ive given my number to people in the past whom I thought would be cool and boy did that take a turn for the worse...talk about obsessive/possessive/clingy/and start falling in love and I don't like women EWWWW... so I said im done, never again...and that was about 7 yrs ago...people scare me....I just keep to myself, I don't go out like I used too etc.....should I put myself back out there and meet new people/give her my number, or just continue to keep to myself? thanks
Keep in mind that cashiers do represent the company they work for. I am one too and we are taught to think of customers as friends or even family members so that we will treat them as such so it makes them feel special and want to come back again. Some people are more outgoing and friendly than others so those cashiers will stand out. Now as being extra happy to see you, I too have customers who I enjoy chatting with more than others as our personalities or temperaments are same or similar so its easier to talk and joke and laugh. I have been given plenty compliments by customers saying how much they enjoy talking to me. Then theres the case of one guy who is quiet and soft spoken and he will never say a word to me. But he opens up for other cashiers to talk with. Its not that two people have a lot in common or like each other enough to want to see each other away from where he/she cashiers, it is more that their aura or energy that is picked up on subconsciously feels comfortable and open and approachable and much the same as the person picking up on it.
So don't assume any cashier who is super friendly and comfortable with you is interested in more.
But where does a single person meet people to possibly date, just about anywhere. School, job, out in society, as you're running errands, so at stores, banks, the beach, in the neighborhood..the list is vast. So there is every chance that something could happen. If you are lonely and ready to get your feet wet dating again, then first go after a girl whom you find yourself attracted to such as this cashier. Since you are a bit rusty at dating and haven't had good luck before, you might want to search for and watch some you tube clips done by dating experts. Some men tell you the do's and don't of trying to start at the very beginning of how to ask a girl out and how to talk to them, especially if she's a stranger. Some actions make a girl uncomfortable and others can totally creep her out like a guy staring at her for long periods without ever talking to her. It gives off the stalker feeling. So study up quickly on some pointers and then go ask her out. A good way to do this is having tickets for two to a show or concert and saying that your friend (non existant made up person) isn't able to go and you're wondering if she'd like to go. It helps to have found out from chatting ahead of time as to some of the things she likes.
Hello, what does family mean? I mean I know what it means but what does it mean exactly when a boy mate says, 'he wants me to meet his family on lunch?' we know he's got a girlfriend and kids but I'm just wondering either him saying family means,'if he wants me to meet his parents or kids and gf?!' meeting his gf would be bit awkward I suppose as we're both joking and flirty mates. I have a feeling that he fancies me a little, We both do actually but nothing more than that. So, who he ACTUALLY wants me to meet with?? Thank you all.
He should know his girlfriend well enough to know if she feels secure with him and is not the jealous type. If you want to know exactly what people he is calling family, that he wants you to have lunch with, then ask, is it your parents and siblings, or is it your girlfriend and kids.
okay so after this school year, which ends in july, i will have to study abroad, which means i have to leave all my friends.
I actually wanted to study abroad, its my decision, but now that a school really accepted me, i realised that, im not as brave as i thought i am.
I have a few close friends, A,B and C. A,B and i are like besties and C is just like a close friend that always hang with us. although friend A is not in the same class as B,C and i, we consider each other as like the closest among us all. and now that im going to leave this school after this semester, they are asking friend A to change to our class if its possible. and now i feel like, A is going to replace me, which i dont want to. im struggling to believe that they will still keep in touch with me when i move overseas, and since im not an extrovert, i know that it is going to be hard for me to build friendships with new friends in a new environment. im questioning it now because now friend A, the one that i said we think we are the closest, seems to drift apart already. like we still hang in school like before, but her replies are just... i dont know, as if she doesnt want to talk to me sometimes. i hope that friend A wont replace me, i still want to be friends with them, even if they dont like me anymore...
i dont have much friends
You need to look at the situation differeently. It is not a matter of being replaced, no longer liked or wanted, but something entirely else.
Let me explain. No matter for girls or boys, we grow up with childhood friends. Eventually we graduate HS or college and begin taking the path we chose for our adult life. This means we may no longer be living in the town we grew up in. Even without college, some may take a job in another town or state. Even without you going overseas, eventually your friends will marry and have husbands and kids and that certainly takes them on a different path usually where they do not see their childhood friends as often as before because of course circumstances have changed. I drifted apart from some friends who stayed single forever and i got married and had kids. We had different responsibilities. I wasn't going to see them next door or at school every day as I used to. This is all a normal part of growing up. Some friends do stick around, remembering you and calling you and doing a couple visits a month, per year or every couple years depending on how far apart you are. My best friend moved with family 5 states away when we were junior high. OUr focus then centered on our own family and kids and jobs. there wasn't time to see each other. She made two trips out to see me, once when she had her first child with her and later once all the kids were out of the house on their own. We talking by phone or wrote periodically and now Facebook is our way to keep in touch but the friendship is different, nothing like what it was before simply because it can't be. We can't hang out daily with our best friend unless we live in the same town, are single, and meet every day after work or are roommates. That isn't the likely scenerio. Do not worry about how things are going to change. You will still be friends but not in the same way you are used to. You will also broaden your horizons by studying abroad and make new friends or at least a couple if you are shy. When you come back to the states, you will be keeping in contact with the newer friends abroad via long distance. Some phone calls but mostly on the computer.
He's got a girlfriend and kids. He's a good friend of mine. We get on well and teasing each other. I say he flirts with me but he says we banter. I like him but also have a feeling that he likes me. We both share personal stuff stories. As he was saying I could take him to this restaurant for a meal but he had to cancel because of his daughter instead he invited has me to his place and wants me to meet his family which I find weird. Because we're only going for a meal. I feel like we're drifting but I don't know. Guys, could guy fall for another person even though they are in a relationship already? He did ask me, 'are u happy in your relationship?' i said I'm alright, we're alright. Help guys. What do u all reckon?
Heres a possibility I've come across with people I knew. First I will explain that a healthy fulfilling relationship has two things that make up the solid foundation. One is being best friends which is the emotional need people have and the other is being sexually compatible which takes care of desires and sexual needs. Not all people have both with their partner. Or perhaps it once was there but things changed. Our partner should be the one we get our emotional support from, compliments and building up are examples. If not getting enough or not in the right way or it is non existent from their partner, a married person will easily seek out good friendships. The friends may not be same sex but the opposite.
Now if a guy had the best friend in a partner but the sex was missing, then he might have affairs or be working towards it. Then he would not be wanting to broadcast a friendship with such a female who was his sex partner. But when it is innocently a emotional support friend, even female, then the man will not feel awkward bringing such a friend home because he is not having sex with her. The flirting doesn't count if its being done just for fun cus its pleasant and a good way to keep up ones skills in flirting. So yes, it can be totally innocent and he is just wanting you to meet the people important to him.
Asking if you are happy in your relationship sounds like something a friend who cares might ask. Now is it possible for guys or even gals to be in a happy relationship and yet fall for another person...no...not very likely. There are however people known as polyamorists. This means they have their core relationship..the one they live with and/or are married to, and both are okay with sharing each other...no secrets kept in such a configuration. And if one then falls for another, it is well known and accepted by their partner and some time is spent with the other. In a few cases, it is just love like love for a sister or brother or best friend but in more cases there is also the fact they become sex partners. That is why communication is important for safety sake and all being on the same page. If a guy intended to stay married or with a girlfriend but has friends on the outside who are important, why wouldn't he want all the special people in his life to meet. Since you are not looking for someone new and he is taken, just enjoy his friendship without trying to overthink it.