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should i or should i not, that is the question???
there's this woman cashier I see whenever I frequent this store. she is always extra happy to see me, she is always smiley and says hi too me, she isn't like that with anyone else, just me. she even gets upset if I ignore her..I find it funny, my brother told me to give her my number maybe we could hang out...now im not the outdoorsy/travel type, and ive given my number to people in the past whom I thought would be cool and boy did that take a turn for the worse...talk about obsessive/possessive/clingy/and start falling in love and I don't like women EWWWW... so I said im done, never again...and that was about 7 yrs ago...people scare me....I just keep to myself, I don't go out like I used too etc.....should I put myself back out there and meet new people/give her my number, or just continue to keep to myself? thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Keep in mind that cashiers do represent the company they work for. I am one too and we are taught to think of customers as friends or even family members so that we will treat them as such so it makes them feel special and want to come back again. Some people are more outgoing and friendly than others so those cashiers will stand out. Now as being extra happy to see you, I too have customers who I enjoy chatting with more than others as our personalities or temperaments are same or similar so its easier to talk and joke and laugh. I have been given plenty compliments by customers saying how much they enjoy talking to me. Then theres the case of one guy who is quiet and soft spoken and he will never say a word to me. But he opens up for other cashiers to talk with. Its not that two people have a lot in common or like each other enough to want to see each other away from where he/she cashiers, it is more that their aura or energy that is picked up on subconsciously feels comfortable and open and approachable and much the same as the person picking up on it.
So don't assume any cashier who is super friendly and comfortable with you is interested in more.
But where does a single person meet people to possibly date, just about anywhere. School, job, out in society, as you're running errands, so at stores, banks, the beach, in the neighborhood..the list is vast. So there is every chance that something could happen. If you are lonely and ready to get your feet wet dating again, then first go after a girl whom you find yourself attracted to such as this cashier. Since you are a bit rusty at dating and haven't had good luck before, you might want to search for and watch some you tube clips done by dating experts. Some men tell you the do's and don't of trying to start at the very beginning of how to ask a girl out and how to talk to them, especially if she's a stranger. Some actions make a girl uncomfortable and others can totally creep her out like a guy staring at her for long periods without ever talking to her. It gives off the stalker feeling. So study up quickly on some pointers and then go ask her out. A good way to do this is having tickets for two to a show or concert and saying that your friend (non existant made up person) isn't able to go and you're wondering if she'd like to go. It helps to have found out from chatting ahead of time as to some of the things she likes.
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You sound a bit like my so in that you are looking for a custom fit in the off the rack world. He finally found his custom fit but it was not by chance dating. He signed up on some of the dating sites.
Now my son has a great many interest and loves the outdoors, loves to travel and seek new adventures. His biggest problem was finding a women who was not looking to become him but could or did have a life of her own. The last thing he wanted was someone who could not be self-reliant.
He has a dangerous job and he is away from home for 24 hours when on shift. He wanted a wife who was not afraid to be on her own. She had to be able to live with the fact that when he left in a morning he might not return the next morning or she could get a middle of the night phone call summing her to a hospital or worse. You don't find that type of person on a hit and miss bases.
On these dating sites on your profile you get to for the most part custom tailor what your looking for. You also get to look at women whose profile are similar to yours and they to yours. You chat with these women first either by email or phone then decide if you want to meet in person for coffee. After that you can decide if you want to ask her out on a real date.
A for the cashier. Chat her up while checking out. Ask her what she likes to do in her spare time what her hobbies are. IF she is interested in you she will tell you and she might ask you to meet for coffee.
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There's a dilemna! It's quite true that living 'the single lfe' avoids a great many of life's hassles, problems and anxieties. I'm sure most guys would testify to that! However, by doing so we miss out on a great many of life's pleasures. I would be inclined to say that seven years of being your own man, as you might say, is probably enough for now. And it might well be time to have another try? In dating, meeting and getting to know someone we do not, of course sign a legally binding contract up front. There is no 'penalty clause' if either drop out. Why not roll the dice and see what happens? Don't let previous negative experiences influence you in evaluating the new potential relationship. Different day, new game. Go in open-minded and with no preconceptions.
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