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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
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advice
I'm a 19 year old female who has problems with keeps dating the wrong type of guy because I seem to just 'settle' with whoever would date me since the guys who I really want to date, don't want to date me. I'm thinking about trying out match.com to see if I can find a good guy (for once). Is this a good idea to try? Am I too toung to resort to this? I want a more active dating life!
I don't have that much of a problem with dating sites as long as you're careful, but I still wouldn't recommend it for you. How many guys your age do you think will have profiles? That's the issue. You'll end up with mostly old men that aren't lying or old men that are pretending to be younger. It's not that you're too young for a dating site, it's just that it won't be worth it because it won't give you the opportunities that you're looking for. The types of guys on the site that are around your age (or even the older ones) will probably be really odd or desperate. The reputable sites cost money and even if something says it's free, the free accounts are generally useless because you don't get any of the perks that help you to find or be found. It's honestly not worth the money or the time for you to try this. Rather than thinking about a dating site, why not analyze why the guys that you want to date don't want to date you. That's the real problem here. Figure that out, because it'll happen online just as easily as it'll happen in real life. Is it that you're not looking at the right people in the right places or is it that there's something about you that makes these guys not want to date you? Generally if you have a connection with someone, they have a connection with you. I'm not taking physical attraction. Ask your friends if you have a good approach. Maybe you just come off as awkward or something. Maybe you should dress differently, who knows. Things like these are correctable. Please focus on the root of the problem rather than trying to get around it somehow. Making a profile on a dating website will likely just cause more problems and frustrations for you. If you want a more active dating life, just ask people out. You may get rejected 10 times, but if you ask 20 people, you might end up with 2 dates. An online profile just makes the asking easier because you're behind a computer screen. You don't need that. Just go out, muster the courage, and ask people. You don't have to ask them out on a date, just ask them if they want to meet up for lunch or something like that. It may be terrifying to consider actually coming out and saying something like that to someone in person, but just do it. If you take the easy way out, your available options will reflect that. People will really respect the courage and confidence and there will be better choices if you just throw it out there. The only thing is that you can't get discouraged and give up if you get rejected a lot. It's a numbers game. Good luck! :)
18/f
My boyfriend and I are having problems. We've been together for over a year and I really care about him.
We've been getting in little arguments that escalate. But it's normally when something is upsetting me. Nothing really specific about him upsetting me, just like either family or something going wrong. But if I get emotional, he ignores me. Later I'll ask him why he does this, and then he gets defensive and throws it back on me. He usually says things like, I'm not perfect.
But this is happening for the past couple months. He hasn't always been like this.
I feel like if I try too hard, it'll push him away. I don't nag him or anything.
He is absolutely great when I'm in a good mood but if I'm not, he acts almost heartless. Last night I called him around 11 about something bothering me. He's normally really good at being there for me. He didn't answer so I sent him a text and he started texting in caps to let him sleep.
Maybe this is my fault? I'm really trying to figure out if this is me or if something is going on with him. He's so sweet if I'm in a normal mood.
Should I give him space? I've let him know that it hurts me but I get the same response.
It's not like I'm crying every day. I'm hardly ever upset but lately, if I ever am, this happens.
Is it anything I'm doing? Any advice would be appreciated.
The only thing you're doing wrong in this situation is continuing to stay with a person that doesn't have any empathy for you.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy
You use the words "heartless", "defensive", and "ignores" to describe the person you love. Come to think of it, you didn't say that you loved him. This is not the foundation for a lasting, quality relationship. He won't change his ways. This is his personality. You deserve much, much more than this. It is his responsibility as your partner to care about you enough to empathize with your struggles. That's the whole point of being in a relationship with someone. He does not love you enough for you to be in a relationship with him. You need to end this relationship now before it gets more serious. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life enduring this kind of neglect? He's not going to change. This is the pattern he's created with you and it will continue. This is how the two of you relate. You cannot accept this for yourself. I know that it's no easy thing to just end it after a whole year, but it would be much harder to wait and have to have to end it after 6 years, a marriage, and 2 kids, wouldn't it? This is not a healthy relationship and it is not your fault. You're not doing anything outrageous or even slightly out of the ordinary when it comes to human behavior. He is not a good match for you and he is treating you like garbage. He is not the authority on what you are worth. Him treating you badly is not a reflection of you - it's a reflection of him. Your worth is not in your ability to make him care. Do not see those people that treat you badly as a challenge. Attaining his attention when you're down is not a success that makes you worthy. He should be giving that to you without making you work for it. It is so cruel for him to be doing this to you. Find someone that doesn't make you work to feel like you're worth something. That is the ultimate show of love. Be very careful, though. I've heard a lot of what you're saying before - out of the mouths of girls that are being abused. You may be prone to getting involved in abusive relationships. I'm not saying you're being abused now, but for your next relationship don't try to go after someone that puts you down so much that when they do give you the slightest compliment or bit of attention, it means the world. I'll bet food tastes sooo good when you're starving, but you can't forget that the same person that gave you the food is also the one that's starving you. I wish you the very best of luck. You can do so, so much better for yourself and have such an insanely happier life by moving on from this.
I'm lonely. Really lonely. I live on a college campus and there are thousands of people around me all the time but I still feel so alone. I have plenty of friends..but that isnt what i am looking for. I want to meet a guy...but I don't know where to look. I know people are like when you meet the right person it will just happen...you can't go looking for love...when the time is right...blah blah blah. But what if my fate is to make the first move? I can't meet someone if I spend all my free time trapped in my dorm room doing mindless busy work.
So where should I go? What should I say? I am generally not a shy person but I've never been one to strike up a conversation with a total stranger and have it go anywhere.
The reason why I am so anxious about this is because I graduate after this semester and when I do I will be moving back to my parents house in my small town where everyone knows everyone and the chance to meet someone new will more than likely be shot to hell. I need some pointers on meeting new guys...before i have to go back to little town on the prairie and have to pick between the 5 or 6 boys that arent engaged to their highschool sweethearts -_-
Any advice?!
Your biggest obstacle right now is yourself. Wanting to be with someone so badly is not attractive. You'll come off as hopelessly desperate. You need to exude confidence and joy. You say you've never been able to strike up a conversation with a stranger and have it go anywhere. In order to get what you want you have to take risks. It isn't going anywhere because you're not taking it anywhere. Take these conversations to the next level. Have something in mind that you can invite the person to. Give them your phone number. Ask them if they want to hang out with you later. Yeah, you may be rejected like 100 times, but it only takes one person to accept. The final bit of advice that I have to give to you is to not become discouraged. If you really, really want to find someone, you have to be ready to be rejected over and over and over. You have to have the strength to just brush it off and try again. Stick with it, quit being so depressed, and you'll find someone in no time. Good luck!
http://www.wikihow.com/Attract-the-Opposite-Sex
http://www.lovepanky.com/entertainment/gossip/how-to-attract-the-opposite-sex
Hey im 15 and in my school i am reasonably popular but i am probably in the second tier.there is a 'popular group' which i have friends in at school but i have never quite broken in to that group.i dont get invited out with them or get invited to house parties which is tough for me.to show people i can be fun i am considering having a house party.people will DEFINATELY drink but my parents are completely against that so i dont know how i could do that unless they werent there.also,how can i keep a guest list low enough without everyone getting invited by others.and since i never get invited,do people just listen to music and talk at these parties or what? Do you think this will get me more popular or will they just use me and forget about me the next day?Thanks for any help i recieve
As much as this sounds like a good idea, it's probably not. You have to admit, you don't really know what you're doing. This is a risky idea and it's more likely to damage your popularity than boost it. It sounds like you're not sure what people do at parties so what makes you qualified to host one? It could end up being a total disaster. The other issue is the drinking thing. You say that there will definitely be alcohol, but that your parents won't allow it. What's your plan for that? If someone calls the cops you'd be in serious, serious trouble. It's best to just not do this. Like I said, the risk is huge for this being a disaster. A better idea would be to work on your popular friends to try to get invited to someone else's party first. It's a bad, bad idea to just decide to host one and expect everything to go perfectly. If you put yourself out there acting as if you're already popular and you aren't, no matter what you do it will likely be ridiculed. What's the big deal with popularity anyway? Like sure it would be nice, but I'd rather be a step down from it like you are. There's so much pressure that comes along with being popular. You're actually in a great position now and honestly, it a few years this will have zero bearing on anything in your life whatsoever. What seems so important to you today, you won't even remember once you're in college. If you want to become popular, wait until college where you're starting with a clean slate. It may seem like an eternity, but it's really not that long. Just enjoy yourself and don't stress about this. When you're older you'll look back and wonder why you wasted your time even thinking about it. I realize that this is at least partially consuming your thoughts (why else would you write a question about it), but this is not the thing to be spending your days mulling over. Stop sitting around trying to be popular and fill your time with something positive. Good luck!
So, a few years back when I was pretty much still a dumb teenager, I experimented with another girl, but I was too scared to make anything out of it because all my friends were ganging up on us about it and every time we were finished doing something together, I would feel awful about it. We didn't have sex or anything, just touching and kissing. And I felt like I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't help it.
Well, just the other night, I had a dream about her after all this time where she was touching me and I remember feeling extremely happy during the dream, but I woke up and panicked because I haven't felt like doing anything with a girl since that time and now suddenly, I'm thinking about her a lot and noticing girls in that way. I also haven't spoken to this girl in a very long time. We had a really bad falling out that had a lot to do with what we did and hid from our friends.
What I'm wondering is if this makes me bisexual or what? I mean, we both have boyfriends. She's still on my Facebook and it says she's in a relationship with some guy. But I'm still not sure. It's stressing me out big time.
You are what you are and you like what you like. Why try to put yourself in a category? Sexual identity is important and it's nice to be able to apply a defined orientation to yourself, but you really don't have to. Just relax and be who you are. Up until around your mid-20's, your brain is still developing so things can get a little wacky in there. Maybe in a few years everything will be clearer. While this is certainly a crazy time for you, what exactly is there to stress out about? Just live your life and the answers will come to you. It won't affect your life negatively if you don't have them yet. There's a huge push in recent years for people to categorize their sexuality. This causes so much confusion for so many people. There's nothing wrong with being unsure as to what category to place yourself in. Many, many people are. The question is, why does it matter?
Good luck! :)
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We are very open and trusting in one another. He has a child with a previous partner but I don't mind and we all get along with each other. A few months ago I came out that I was bisexual and he immediately entertained the idea of a threesome. We talked it over and agreed that it might not be the best idea. He told me he doesn't mind me fooling around with women when we go out to parties but I don't due to the fact it just isn't right. For a while we spoke of inviting others into the bedroom but never have. Well, a few nights ago we were at a party and this girl was hanging all over me and started touching me. He said it was okay so I just laid back and let it happen. I didn't kiss her and I felt a bit odd about it because we hadn't really discussed it with one another. Well, the next day we were talking about it and came to a conclusion. (Our guidelines and rules) We decided that we were both fine with fooling around with people but only if we were both present at the time and comfortable with the person, there would be no kissing or sex (strictly foreplay) if one of us felt left out or anything negative we would stop and that we don't do this with people we are friends with. We are both very open minded people and don't get jealous. I do have a slight fear that it might go sour and it might potentially damage our relationship. I am curious if anyone could give me insight or valuable advice I could apply to the situation, we have thoroughly talked it through and are confident our rules are going to work.
This is a very difficult question for me because I've been in your situation. My husband and I did end up inviting another person into our relationship. It got really serious. We honestly loved her and she became a big part of our lives. I'd say the relationship escalated from a play partner to a kind of poly situation. It was amazing while it lasted, one of the best experiences of our lives.
The entire thing was just too good to be true though. While you can fully and completely trust your partner, you can never and should never trust someone that is willing to be the third wheel in a threesome. There's a reason why it's so hard to find someone that's willing to do it. Most girls that you'll find that would lower themselves to becoming a sexual object for a couple may seem like buckets of fun, but odds are they're very damaged. Could you ever see yourself just joining other couples if you were single? I certainly wouldn't, so why are we so willing to let someone else do it and not see anything wrong with it? Letting someone in that close gives them the tools to ruin you through your reputation and/or emotionally. It took you some time to come out to your boyfriend and a lot of discussion over whether you wanted to do this or not. Why is it okay that the third person be someone that you barely even know? You don't want to give someone that power without an insane amount of trust.
It turned out that this girl was dishonest to us the entire time we were together. The situation turned out to be extremely painful. It ripped me apart and even though it's been a few years, I'm still crushed by what happened. I still care deeply about her and it kills me to see where her choices have brought her. Choices I should have anticipated all along and known to avoid the relationship. It caused problems between my husband and I because it was such a crazy situation. We argued about her and what to do all the time. The problem with giving advice to you about this is that I should be screaming at you "DON'T DO IT!!", but I don't regret having done it myself. In order to understand and accept my own sexuality, I needed to experience a relationship with another girl. There weren't a lot of options and she gave me what I needed and more.
My advice for you would be to go for it if you get the chance, but tread very, very carefully. Do not enter into any kind of committed partnership with a third person and end the physical relationship after a few encounters or less. You don't want to get too close to the type of person that would do this for you.
I hope you find what you're looking for and I really do hope that you're careful! Do not find yourself saying "but she'll be different". Like I said, any girl that's willing to do this has to be at least a little crazy. Good luck! :)
what should i give my boyfriend on his birthday? he dont like to play games or he dont like sports, he is different, what should i give him as his birthday gift?
Guys tend to like gifts that are practical - something that they can use. Does he wear hats? Does he have a nice pair of headphones/ear buds? If you can't think of anything, he'd probably like a pocket knife.
Good luck!
22/female
Mike grew up mormon, but he left that religion a few years ago. Mike and I have been dating for a few months now, just recently we started getting sexual. Last night we hung out and it started to get hot and heavy, we ended up naked in his bed. He grabbed a condom and of course it takes forever to put them on so by the time he had it on the mood was dead. We started making out to get him hard again but after awhile, we were tired of trying, he could not get hard. I was so confused and bummed so I asked him if it was my fault he couldn't get hard, if he was even attracted to me. He said he is definitely attracted to me and the problem is that his old religion (mormon) always gets in his head at the worst time and messes him up, hence why he can't stay hard.
I don't know what to do about that! It has happened both times we have tried, so we still haven't had sex yet. It's not that i'm mad about the sex, it's that I know it upsets him and I wish I could help him somehow. I can definitely get him hard and stuff, but when it comes to the actual sex part its like his brain takes over and he can't anymore.
I don't know much about the mormon religion, but if anyone does I would love to hear if you have any insight on any of this, or any help you can give me.
Thanks!
I know that you reacted in the moment, but the last thing that you want to do in this situation is start asking him if he's attracted to you when he's having these problems. Clearly he's attracted to you and making accusations because you're hurt over what happened makes the situation much worse for him. "Accusations" may sound like a strong word from your perspective because you were hurt, but that's what it was. His problem has nothing to do with you and you being hurt over his hangups, which he can't control at this point, will cause even more anxiety for him. Not only will he be worried about whether his thoughts will get in the way when the two of you get intimate, but now he'll also be worried about hurting you if they do, making it even more likely for the thoughts to arise. It may seem like I'm being harsh here, but if you want this relationship to work out, these are realities that you must understand.
I'm guessing that you aren't blaming yourself for this anymore now that he's explained the situation to you, but do make sure that you do not start doing it again. If you're not careful, you could end up unintentionally questioning or insulting his manliness out of frustration or anger. It's unfair that you have to deal with this, but if you are choosing to stay with him and deal with it, you have to be very careful or it's not going to work and you should leave him.
If it happens again, don't keep trying. Give him a hug and say something like "thanks, that was fun" with a big smile and lots of love. Both of you know what happened, but just moving on from it and sending the message that you still love him anyway and that he's still good enough for you even with this problem would help. And hey, making out is really rather fun. If that's all he can give you right now, be supportive of it and don't try to force anything.
Here is some information that you should take a look at about his former religion's beliefs regarding pre-marital sex:
http://www.lds.org/topics/chastity?lang=eng&query=sexual+sin
One thing that stuck out for me was that "Chastity means not having any sexual relations before marriage", something that he's already broken without having such an intense reaction. The two of you haven't had intercourse, but I think that I would consider getting "hot and heavy" and "naked in his bed" to be sexual relations. Many religions focus on making sex seem extremely terrible, when really, it's no different from any other "sin" that most people commit on a daily basis without even thinking about it. Why is lust such a big deal when envy and pride are also "deadly sins"?
Sex is a basal desire and religions can do a great job at trying to suppress what is a natural instinct. It isn't our natural instinct to go out and kill one another, so it's easy not to commit murder. Since it's our God-given desire to reproduce, however, church's make rules about it and strongly focus on it, which can end up really damaging people psychologically. It isn't an uncommon thing for some people that are very devout to have problems in the bedroom.
The thing is, if you look further down that page and sift through the scriptures that are referenced when it comes to this topic, not a single one of them says "never for any reason have sex outside the commitment of marriage". The church's interpretation of these scriptures really takes some liberties. The scriptures say not to commit adultery, to treat your body as a temple and glorify God in body and spirit, and to bridle your passions.
Read this article about adultery:
http://atheism.about.com/od/tencommandments/a/commandment07.htm
Adultery has nothing to do with pre-marital sex.
Treating one's body as a temple for God just means to take care of yourself, but it's popularly interpreted only as "don't be a slut". What it truly means is to celebrate God and His love through everything you do. Eat well, exercise, etc. Your body serves a divine purpose so it needs to be taken care of. Having sex with a person that you love and trust is not going against this. According to the Bible, sex joins you spiritually with the other person. The example that they use as being a bad thing is having sex with a prostitute. You sort of defile yourself with her filth when you have sex. Being intimate with a committed, loving partner may actually be in support of serving a divine purpose. If God didn't want us having pre-marital sex with loving, committed partners, He would have used that as the example rather than using adultery and prostitution as examples. Of course those are wrong and we all understand that. These activities diminish the meaning of sex and they diminish you if you participate in them.
God is love and if you can intimately express your love through the deepest connection you can have with another human that you love, trust, and are committed to, aren't you closer to God? Today's culture has changed a lot since biblical times. The world is complex, you can't just marry someone because you desire them. Women have careers beyond simply serving their husbands and children. Men aren't seen as being the only ones with sexual desires and women aren't seen as pure objects that men need to control themselves around and be taught to treasure. As most any homosexual person could tell you, marriage nowadays doesn't just serve a religious purpose. There's a lot of legal and financial stuff that comes along with it today. The bottom line is that it should not feel wrong to have sex with someone that you love because unlike something like prostitution or adultery, it just isn't wrong.
The scripture about "bridling" your passions is an interesting one. What I take this as is not to become so enthralled with something that you have no room or time to welcome God's love. It's almost like not worshiping idols, not becoming envious, or not becoming consumed by sex. It doesn't say "no passion" it says to "bridle" your passions.
There are a few problems you may encounter. First, he may not really want to listen to you too much about this because you're the temptress. It's not like he's necessarily thinking this, it could be subconscious, but if you don't get very far with him, that may be why, and understandably so. He may feel that it's hard for you as an outsider to deeply understand his religion and understand why it's holding him back.
Another problem is that I believe (you'd have to check with him on this one) that the President of the Mormon Church is kind of like the Pope. He speaks directly to God and so the Church's interpretations of the scriptures are considered to be the correct interpretations because of that. Even if many of them are a bit of a stretch.
I am not sure if Mormons view sex as a reproductive act like Catholics tend to do, but this could be another hangup for him. Some religions teach that sex is for procreation only. To me, this is the best argument against pre-marital sex because it actually makes sense logically and there's not really a different way to interpret it. Your only ammo against this one is that this isn't actually stated anywhere in the scriptures. Unlike most animals, we have a God-given intelligence, which causes us to desire sex for fun rather than just for procreation. Are we supposed to act like animals in this case, but be higher than them in all others?
If this guy is really important to you, you may want to seek help from someone who specializes in this sort of thing. By "this sort of thing", I mean seeing a therapist with deep knowledge of the Mormon religion or at least someone with experience dealing with men having performance issues due to residual religious hangups. If he won't go himself, you could certainly go and possibly get a lot of good information.
The most important thing, though, is to remember that you've only been with him for a few months. Given time, he may become ready to commit to you at a sexual level. All that stuff that I've been saying about being in a loving, committed relationship, while it's true, may not be strong enough for him this early on. It may seem like plenty of time for you, but he may need a longer commitment and a stronger bond with you before he's ready because he's scared. Have you tried taking it slower? Like, giving him a hand job or oral and seeing if he's okay with that? Full-on sex is a big jump from kissing and touching. Take yourself back and remember what it was like your first time and how you may have viewed your virginity then. Maybe it would go better if he got comfortable with oral for a few weeks first. If you simply don't have the patience to wait for a half a year to a year, this may not be the relationship for you, but if you're willing to work with him on this because you believe he's worth it, then go for it. You'll probably get somewhere if you're patient and kind.
I am actually Christian and I actually waited until marriage for sex. My husband-to-be and I did everything else, but we saved sex until after we were married. This was a personal choice rather than a religious choice. We really did it because it's what we wanted to do. We thought it would be special to save it and it was. The issue in your situation is that I'm assuming you've had sex before and he hasn't. This doesn't really give the two of you the option to save yourselves for each other. It may be that he really wants to wait. If you find out that this is the case, it would be wrong to push him into anything and you'll have a big choice to make. If he's just trying to do this for you because you want it, that's not good.
Good luck! :)
Disclaimer: While I'm a part of it and I feel that I have a good understanding of it, I'm not an expert on religion.
My step-dad is in Mexico, and my mom met this guy at the bar. They have been texting, and I saw some pictures that I would rather not have seen. He's been coming to our house while we've been sleeping. What should I do?
I think that you should confront your mom about it. It may be the most awkward conversation of your life and she may blow you off and not want to talk about it, but it's the only thing you really can do without causing a ton of pain and trouble. If she's making a bad choice here, calling her out on it might be just what needs to happen for her to snap out of it.
You have to approach the conversation from the right place or you won't get very far. You have to be calm and not accuse her of anything. Simply confront her with the evidence and ask her if anything is going on. If it is, she'll probably be extremely embarrassed and she may get defensive. This wouldn't be something that she would have wanted you to notice and the fact that you did is going to upset her.
If she denies it, gets really angry with you, or shuts down, tell her that if she's doing what it looks like she's doing you don't approve and that if she doesn't tell your dad when he gets back that you will show tell him about what you know. Never once should you accuse her of cheating. The best way to go about this is to continue confronting her with the evidence. Talk about the text messages that you saw and ask her why this guy is coming over at night. If you back her into a corner with things that she can't explain away, it'll go much better for you than if you go up to her and say "I know you're cheating". Unless you've actually seen it take place, you can't know for sure.
Another thing that's important is that even if she isn't having sex with this guy or anything, it's sometimes still considered cheating to have an emotional relationship with someone else. Sending those types of pictures and having him come over at night is probably not something she'd be proud to tell your dad so even if it's not physical cheating, it's still wrong and she knows it.
Like I said, this could be the most awkward and difficult conversation of your life, but it's something that you have to do. Make sure that you prepare for the consequences as well. Your parents may split up because of this. It's less likely to happen if you can get your mom to go to your dad. Don't wait around for him to catch her. The fact that you found out before him and that you can try to help the situation is a wonderful thing. If they do end up splitting up, you can't blame yourself for it because you blew the whistle. Letting your mom know what you've seen is the best thing that you can do right now to try to save their relationship.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope that your family can work this all out.
So I met this guy a year ago and we dated for 2 months and then one day he randomly stopped talking to me. I was so infaturated with him so I was completely heartbroken. As pathetic as it sounds it took me 11 months and I'm still not completely over him. He was never a sexual person when we dated and so when he texted me on his birthday asking for sex I freaked out on him and told him off. We hadn't talked for 5 months exactly and he texted me yesterday and apologized for the way things went last time and we had a good conversation thennnnn he turned it sexual again, I've missed him so much that I jumped at the opportunity to get with him. I don't doubt he won't talk to me again and he knows i'm not usually easy but I just feel so disappointed in myself. How could I be with someone who didn't even remember anything about me or likes me when I'm in love with him. What should I do from here? SHoud I text him? By the way we are both 20 years old!
Thanks so much in advanced for any help!
Lose his number, seriously. You mean nothing to him - you're just a booty call. What he is doing to you is completely disrespectful. Have some respect for yourself. He doesn't view your past relationship the way that you view it. You may have liked him before, but he is not the person he was before, or at least, he's not hiding his true self anymore. He's treating you like trash and you can't stand for that. What you should do is tell him never to contact you again. Tell him how disappointed you are in his behavior and it may even help to let him know how much you still care about the person that you once knew. You need to be the one to end it for good because he's just going to keep trying to get sex from you with the intent of disrespecting both your body and your soul. You have to remember that you're in love with a memory of him, not him himself. You mind is holding onto something that you remember. A thought that you created about him and something that he actually is not. All that we know is created inside of our own heads. You have to realize this in order to let him go. He isn't all that you know him to be because all that you know him to be was created by your emotions and your interpretations of his actions long ago. You can't let him continue to treat you like this because of a false memory. You created this dream guy so only you can destroy him. He never has and never will live up to what you believe him to be. You're holding onto a perception, not a reality. What he is doing is horribly wrong and he knows it. Don't give him a pass because he doesn't deserve it. You have to demand much more of yourself. Good luck.
So i went over my friends laura house, and we went to with these boys on their mopeds. Even though we wearnt supposed to. While we were on the mopeds we had stopped at this car wash. One of the cars that were getting washed had their car door open, the boy i was with had told me to hang out to the break, but i had already told him i dont know how to drive a moped but he didnt listen and he let me take control and that's when i recked the car door.
They called the police, and since im a miner they told me my parents will have to pay for it. Im not as worried about the money as i am about my dads dissapointment in me. I want to tell him i just dont know how, and how i should take it.. im 13 years old.
It's best to tell him. He'll be much, much more disappointed in you if he hears about what happened from the police or someone else. Take that angle with it when you talk to him. Start out by saying that you didn't want him to hear it from someone else. Tell him how terrible you feel. Tell him you'll pay him back. Tell him how hard it was to tell him about it and that you've learned your lesson, but if wants to give you a punishment that you'll take it, whatever it is. Coming off as completely sad and sorry like this should help you in the long run. It's going to be very, very hard to approach him and tell him these things, but it's something that you just have to do. There's no way around it. Good luck.
My boyfriend's birthday is coming up and I want to do something special for him in a sexual sense, he shares his birthday with his daughter so most the day we are going to be doing children things, and then go to dinner with his parents. He won't have much of a chance to do his own thing and I wanted to surprise him when we got home, I bought some nice lingerie but I'm not sure what to do beyond that.
When it comes to sex he does mostly everything, I want him to just sit back and relax though. But I don't have a clue, when I'm on top we just can't get in rhythm with each other, I don't know what to do and I don't want to feel foolish when I make an idiot of myself in the bedroom, it's his special day and I want to make him feel special.
Any tips or advice?
This might be too late of an answer, sorry if it is, but you didn't give a date!
If it doesn't really work when you take control, don't try it, there's other things to do. Like you say, you want it to be special, not awkward.
What about stripping/dancing for him? Have you ever done that? Even if you look a little foolish I'm sure he'll like it. Even if you've done it before, it's a nice way to show off your new lingerie. It's definitely a way for him to sit back and relax! Put some wrapping paper on or something and make a whole show of it. Practice a little before hand in front of a mirror and trust me, you'll look a lot sexier than you may feel. After your show, you can have sex like normal and the entire experience together should be really special for him. Good luck! :)
I need to go to the toilet nearly every 10-15 mins. Could i be pregnant as had unprotected intercorse!
It could be any number of things. You do need to see a doctor. Even if you're not pregnant, don't have unprotected sex again. It's one of the worst decisions you can make if you're not trying to get pregnant. Even if it was his idea and you just didn't speak up, you made the decision too. There's just no reason to do it, yet so many people do. Your life could change forever. It's never worth feeling good in the moment to risk completely messing up your life. Next time, speak up and say "no way" or you'll end up with another pregnancy scare and eventually a baby. Good luck.
I am confused if i should give gift to the guy I like? If I do, then when do I do it and how do I do it?
Please help me
Me likes meand I haven't told him that i like him, should I tell him and then give him the gift??
What should you give to a 12/13/14 year old as a gift?
You shouldn't get him a gift until after you've told him you like him and you think things might go somewhere. You don't want to be embarrassed if he says no and you don't want to come off as being too motherly, clingy, or desperate. You don't want it to look like you've planned the whole thing expecting him to say yes with him not having a choice in the matter. Even if you know he will say that he likes you too, giving him a gift because you like him may come off as controlling or uncaring. Show a little more humility, like, as if you were afraid he might not like you. That's a lot cuter and probably more effective than doting on him from the get-go. Save the gift for after you've been dating a week. Then, it will have meaning. Now, it wouldn't really mean much. Think about it, what does it mean? Is it an "I like you" gift? Seriously, save it as a "we like each other" gift. Good luck. :)
19/f
I have been dating my boyfriend for six months. We haven't had sex yet but we have done everything else. He is so good at touching me but for some reason I never orgasm. I feel guilty about this because he tries so hard and always does such a wonderful job but I still can't orgasm. Sometimes I fake it but honestly I just want to orgasm for real. Please help me I don't know what's wrong with me.
Have you ever had an orgasm, like with someone else or with yourself? If not, there is nothing wrong with you. This article may help you feel better.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/sex-study-female-orgasm-eludes-majority-women/story?id=8485289#.UHLlRlExZ2A
Have you told your boyfriend that you sometimes have trouble orgasming? You should. There's no reason to feel embarrassed. As long as you approach it in a nice way and make sure he knows that it has nothing to do with him and that he actually does a great job, it'll be fine. This is really something you have to share with him if you want any chance. It's going to be rough bringing it up, but as long as you do NOT bring it up right after you've been intimate, he shouldn't take it too hard. Just gather up the courage and do it. You know it has to be done.
There are a lot of women out there in your situation. Has your boyfriend been focusing on your vagina, your clitoris, or both? Clitoral stimulation is more likely to lead to orgasm. Have you tried a vibrator? You don't have to do it alone, have your boyfriend try it. You may need a faster rhythm than he can provide. Have you explored your body yourself? If you can figure out how to give yourself an orgasm you could give you boyfriend tips so he can do it too. It may be easy to give yourself one. Whatever happens, do not be discouraged. There are a lot of women out there that have never had one and never will. There are others that can give themselves one, but can't seem to get one from someone else. Unfortunately, that's just the way it works.
If you've already had an orgasm, what you really need to focus on his instructing your boyfriend. Tell him what to do. Show him what to do. There's really no other way. It may be a little uncomfortable if you're not used to doing that, but it should be worth it. Good luck! :)
Hey i have a question about self-publishing where should i publish my story if i want to get noticed by publishers?
Publish it as an e-book and sell it for 99 cents. Seriously. This may sound counterproductive, but it's actually good strategy. If a lot of people are interested in your book, it will rise up the charts. You'll get a lot of people to download it if you're selling it for cheap. The website below gives you some good information and instructions. They recommend not to sell your book for 99 cents, but it may be a good idea if getting noticed is your goal instead of making money right away.
http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-18438_7-20010547-82/how-to-self-publish-an-ebook/
Good luck!! :)
F17
Hey people im going to a homecoming dance in school and I have to choose either to go with my bf thats a high school graduate and tell him to come with me or go with just friends cause they invited me to go there house after and it be a bit weird if I brought him cause it's just me my friends that are girls! Any advice on what I shoud do thanks!(:
Would your boyfriend be upset if you did both? You can go to the dance with him and then attend the girls-only party without him. This really would depend on his feelings, but he might be fine with it. He should want you to have a good time with your friends before you graduate. If you had to choose between the two, I would skip the party and invite your boyfriend to the dance. It's the right thing to do when you're in a relationship. You have to make little sacrifices. If you don't, he might feel like you maybe don't care about him or you're not that serious about the relationship. When you're in a relationship you want the other person to be and to feel like they are priority #1. You'll get some great pictures of the two of you and make memories that you can take with you into the future. There's only once dance, but there will be other parties. Whatever you choose, you'll have a great time anyway. Don't stress about this decision too much. If you're worried, just ask your boyfriend what he thinks you should do. He might have some good advice himself. Good luck! :)
after upgrade to new hot mail, my menu bar disappear. Hotmail altomatcally direct to www.bay145.mail.live.com.
I cannot send, reply, delete or logoff
Hotmail is rather outdated. It's going to have weird issues like this. Have you considered trying a different free e-mail provider? I'd recommend G-mail. You can set it up so that any messages that get sent to your Hotmail account will be forwarded directly to your G-mail account. It's really neat and you won't have to worry about having to check two accounts. You can even have all of your messages in your inbox transferred over. It's great. Really, check it out.
http://support.google.com/mail/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=56283
Good luck!
I am crushing super hard on my SI organic chemistry student tutor. Let's call me *Kane*. He's really smart, but not arrogant, so cute, funny, and laid back. I want to talk to him, but I just don't when. I only seem on three occasion : 1) when he's sits in on my lecture 2) when i go the SI tutor 3) when I go see my private tutor. I just can't talk to him alone, and its driving me crazy, because I really think we hit it off. I just don't how start with, because he's not the typical guy I fall for, and its freaking me out. I just don't wanna come off as stupid or creepy grrr I don't know what to do, I just really like him a lot! Help!
It can be very hard to approach someone that you like. Why not use technology to your advantage? Is there any way you can get his e-mail address or cell phone number? You know, in case you need his help with your chemistry homework. It would be much easier to send him a quick e-mail or text inviting him to lunch than asking him in person. You could also try it the old fashioned way. Slip a note into his bag or something. You can reveal who you are or keep it a secret and ask him to meet you somewhere. If these ideas really don't appeal to you, you're going to have to muster up some courage. If you really like this guy you have to go for it. Work up the nerve and just speak to him. Even if he's not interested you should feel better because at least you'll know either way. Unfortunately, there may not be an easy way to do it. Don't forget to keep in mind that he may already have a girlfriend. Part of dating is putting yourself out there. Somebody's got to do it. You may feel stupid or creepy, but he probably won't see it that way. You're your own worst critic. Good luck!
Hello everyone, i'm 19 and i've been with my boyfriend for about a year and 7 months straight, haven't broke up once. Well i've been taking birth control for about 2 years never had problems. This last month I started my period on Aug 14- the 19. What was weird was that period was about a month and 4 days late. This time I was suppose to have my period on the 14. Always been the same day besides the last month, since I started late. Anywho, this month I was 11 days late till I was suppose to start. I've never had unusual bleeding, it has always been the same. That day it was a brownish reddish, more brown. So I decided to put a pad on, and noticed i didn't bleed at all after. So I removed the pad, & continued on with my day, on Sep 27 I had practice at 7 in the morning. I woke up went pee when I wiped there was blood. So I decided I would put a pad, Then AGAIN that was the last time I bleed. Haven'y actually started my period. I've been discharging. And the last time I had intercourse with my boyfriend was Sep 1, 8. What do you think? Has this happened to you, if so what was the outcome? PLEASE HELP ME.
It sounds like maybe you're just spotting. Something like this happened to me once, too. If you've been taking birth control correctly lately, there's not too much to worry about especially since you're not noticing any other symptoms besides irregular bleeding. Even so, go to the store and get a home pregnancy test just to be sure. There's no harm in it and it'll make you feel a lot better. Good luck!