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advice

i'm a girl, and i'm 16 and i never used to masturbate but i recently discovered it.

however i feel that i'm the only girl that does it and i am embarassed by this fact. do a lot of girls do it? i know no-one will talk about it, and its probably not as common as with guys, but i'd like to think i'm not alone out there. :(

also -- i think i get close to orgasm, but i always stop myself because i'm afraid of making too much noise (i live with my parents) i start to shake and feel a bit "dizzy" does this mean i'm close? should i just go with the flow when this happens?

sorry for all the questions. thanks for all your help.

Yes, alot of girls do. We just aren't as open about what we do and all the gory details like guys are. Girls consider that a kind of taboo subject, but it is certainly nothing embarrassing about it. It is actually very healthy. And when it comes to the orgasm, you should not stop yourself. Experience it and get to know your body. It will help you be more comfortable with yourself in the future.

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hey i am 13/f and i'm trying to find a new hair color
i'm getting my hair cut like this picture:
http://imdb.com/gallery/granitz/3274/AshleeSimp_Pimen_5265256_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Simpson,%20Ashlee&seq=3

i have reddish hair and a pale skin tone. (this is a picture of my hair and skin color)
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e43/ooxSaRaBaRaxoo/screwup_jpg.jpg

i really want to change up my hair color and i'm not sure which way to go. i think i'm going to get some highlights but i'm not sure what shade and what color to make the base. any ideas? thanks a bunch! i rate

Well based on the fact that you are a natural red head, you need to go to a good hair stylist to get your hair dyed. It takes a skilled hair stylist to be able to transform your hair from red to blonde. It is because of the pigment in your hair. Pigment is what determines your haircolor, and yours has a lot of red. So your hair stylist will probably have to strip your hair, or take all the color out of it first. They might have to strip it twice to ensure that all the pigment is out so when they dye it, it won't turn orange. Well after they strip it, they will show you a color guide and you show them which one you want and they will pick out that shade. After that I suggest getting low lights and hightlights done to top off the look. Just try not to attempt dying your hair yourself. Go to a professional that has training, because red heads really do have a hard time dying their hair different colors. Look at Lindsey Lohan? So just call around your area, talk to them about the cost and tell them what you want, and then pick the place with the best price range for you and a place you trust will do a great job. The cut you picked is very cute by the way. Need any more advice, note my inbox. Good luck!
~Sherah

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Hey,
well im having a guy problem....so ill jus go ahead and tell you wut happened. Im 15 and me and my new boyfriend had just started dating..and its been almost a month but not quite there yet. We've only held hands and hugged and stuff..but weve never kissed...which is okay to me cus i dont want 2 rush. Plus the reason we started dating was becus my friend began to date his best friend,so they hooked us up. Well i thought we were doing pretty good intill like one friday he asked me2 go2 this fsamily thing to meet this HOLE intire family not jus his parents but all of them..and i was goin 2 but i was at a friends house and got home and had no time to get ready. So i called him and said sorry and he told me it was fine. So i figured it was okay. Well On monday he dumped me and said "He jus didnt want a gurlfriend right now" And that "Its not becus of me" ....so here i Am ...wishin i went, i shulda tryed to go to his thing. I want him back and homecomings in a week....i wanted to go with him....what should I do? How can I get him back?

Well given that you are 15 and you guys don't seem to have gotten that serious yet, then I would just let it go for right now. Try to be-friend him before dating him and start it over fresh. You said that the only reason why you guys were together in the first place was because your friend is dating his friend and you guys got hooked up because of that. And you also mentioned that you were glad that you guys haven't kissed yet because you don't want it moving too fast. Well maybe he wanted you to meet his entire family because he wanted to see if you wanted to take your guys relationship to the next level. It seems weird that he dumped you right after that, so the only thing I can think of about why he did this is because he felt that you didn't take the relationship seriously. He probably felt that if you really wanted things to be more serious that you would have wanted to meet his entire family. And since you told him you couldn't go he felt like you blew him off. If I were you I would try and talk to him and let him know in all honesty that you were sorry about that incident. Don't make excuses for why you didn't go, because he might feel like you are making excuses for yourself when you tell him you didn't go because you didn't have enough time to get ready. Guys don't understand that because it only takes them about 5 minutes to be ready lol. Just try and talk to him, without a time limit. It doesn't matter if he isn't your date for homecoming. If he isn't ready to be back with you by then, then that is fine. Don't pressure him. It is his desicion. Just find out why he ended things, and talk with him about it. If you really like him, and he really likes you, then you two should be able to work through this little problem. Just don't stress over it. Everything happens for a reason. I hope I helped.
~Sherah

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This is very long, sorry. I'm just trying to provide enough information for you guys to get enough info.
So this guy used to like me four years ago (he was a popular guy) and I hated him because he was a jerk. He stopped liking me, I think. A year later, I started to like him even though everyone else still thinks he’s an ass. I just think he’s secretly very sweet. Anyway, this year he became kind of famous. Throughout these four years, we keep staring at each other all the time. It’s very odd. But none of us made a move till now.
Elaine and I are in yearbook (she is pretty popular too). We had to interview him because he won the “most likely to be rich and famous” thing.
So we see his teacher and we ask her if we can interview him. She went inside and told him there were some ladies there to see him. He watched me approach him with surprise.
I walked inside the room and said hi.
Then he leaned back and said the first thing he's said to me in about four years,
"What's up?"
I told him he won the award and I wanted him to come do a question thingie. So he got up and came with me.
We were walking down the hallway and I said "You won the rich and famous thing... which I don't understand because you're rich and famous already." He paused and did this modest agreeing shrug thing like meaning, Yeah well, what can I say?. which is odd because you’d think he’d be cocky as usual.
So we took two pictures of him. I asked him if he wanted to do it later and he said he didn't care. Then I asked Jake why he thought he won this award, he said it was probably because everyone knows him or something. He couldn’t think if anything else so I told him we'd do it tomorrow. I asked him if he'd be in school tomorrow (he skips a lot) and he shrugged. We started walking down the hall again and he went left into his classroom hall.
A few minutes later, we were walking and these friends of Jake’s showed up and talked to Elaine. Then I saw a friend of mine in front of us coming towards us and right behind her was Jake at the soda pop machine. He got his drink and started walking towards us too.
Jake’s friends sat on the ledge. Carey and I started discussing the yearbook and the guys decided to get a picture taken. So Jake asked what the picture was for and we all said the memories page. He said he wasn't going to do it because he wasn't going to be in the yearbook twice in the same outfit. He got off the ledge and folded his arms across his chest and then looked at me. After the pics were done, Jake sat on the ledge again when it looked like everyone was going to leave. So they moved away so he had to get up and go with them. After they left, Elaine and I were walking down the hall again and Elaine said Jake was nice when he was alone but he was a dick when he was with his friends. The next day, I was walking down the hall during that block. Jake was walking towards his classroom with a pop can in his hand and I guess I prolonged eye contact because he put his hand on the door handle and waited. I asked him if he had though of anything and he responded with the likes of "I don't know" or "Not yet" or something and did this little continuous awkward shrug thing. I sad "Ok, we'll do it later."
So is he interested? What do you think.
Thank you SOOO much. I just need some kind of confirmation because I've like him for so long. I'll give you 5's.

Well you were certainly right about your story being long lol.. Well my answer kind of is too so oh well :) To answer your question, I don't think he is really interested in doing the interview. When a guy shrugs things off and says things like "I don't know" or "I'm not sure yet" they generally are just trying to be nice and not say what they really are feeling. You said he has been acting "humble" and not "cocky" like usual. He has been nicer than usual and not really rubbing the whole "rich and famous" thing in everyone's faces. So since he is acting nicer, it makes sense that he might be trying to kindly blow you off with the interview. But of course it never hurts to ask to try and find out his true intentions. Being that he is more popular now than before and that it has been 4 years since you guys really have talked, I think catching up between you two would be nice. But I think he would rather you try and get to know him through better terms, than an interview about how he is rich and famous. I would feel that way too. Maybe he feels like you are just starting to like him now because of his new acclaimed fame. And maybe that is why he keeps shrugging off the interview. If he does still like you then the best thing to do is try to get to know him and talk with him. And when you do, don't bug him so much about the fame. Focus on getting to know HIM. Money and fame is not what he is all about! I suggest asking him one more time about the interview. Say something like, "Hey Jake. Not trying to get on your nerves or anything, but I really was wondering if this interview thing is going to work out. If you don't want to do it that's fine." By saying that you put him in the position of actually saying how he feels and he doesn't feel like such a jerk if he declines, because you already told him that it wouldn't be a big deal if he couldn't. Now if he says yes and you guys set up a time and place to do the interview, here is your chance to get to know him. Go somewhere you can relax and hang out, like Starbucks or something. It's comfortable and will make him feel alot more at ease. During the interview, don't just read off the questions and jot down his answers in a monotone voice. Comment on his answers and then actually tie in some questions that you want to know about him, and then it will be more like a conversation, not an uncomfortable interview, which I'm sure he will appreciate, since he seems to have issues with the whole interview in the first place. After all your questions, continue talking with him and let him get to know you too. Don't be nervous and act funny around him. Just be yourself and get to know the REAL him, the nice guy you know he is deep down inside. He will really like that you are trying to get to know him. And since you are starting off square one with him, act friendly and maybe a little flirty, but do not throw yourself at him and tell him how much you have liked him. That should be your little secret until you guys are better aquainted and you know how he feels about you too. Keep it friendly for right now and that's it. Good luck with him hun! I'm sure it will go alright. Just don't stress and remember to just be yourself. Just give it a try, because you never know what can happen. I really hope I helped you and if you need any more advice, just note my inbox. Best of luck!
~Sherah

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I have to go for my first "girly" check up alone because I am having problems at school and they are being slowly sorted out but my parents know nothign about it but my health is going down. What I want to know is during this check up do they really look at your vagina and boobs and what do they do to them? Also do they do anythign to your bum? I am really embarrest andits happening in a month please give me some advice.

Well when you go to a gynocologist for the first time, it is very normal to be embarassed and nervous. Basically to answer your question bluntly, yes, they do check all of your female anatomy. Since you are young, they will probably just do a regular breast examination (they will feel around your breast in a circular motion, feeling for lumps). They will also give you a pap smear... which will definently be the most unpleasant part of the examination. They might also give you a rectum examination. It depends on your age, the reason why you are getting this examination, and mostly on the doctor. Just don't worry about it. Every woman will go through this, so it is something everyone will experience. So don't worry about it. Talk to your doctor about it or just call the office and ask them what they will probably be examining. It is embarassing to talk about, I know, but it is important. So just relax and don't stress. You'll be just fine. Need any more advice feel free to note my inbox.
~Sherah

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ive been dating my boyfriend for a long time now, a year and a half almost and he still makes excuses to his friends. his friends say he hangs out w/ me too much. when im over and a friend calls, he wont tell them im over. his friends will invite him over and ill be at his house and he will say "let me ask" and he will put the phone down and wait then pick it up and say hes not allowed, he wont ask cuz im over. why doesnt he just tell his friends that hes with me? why does he have to hide it? he is really good at telling lies.... but i KNOW he doesnt lie to me.

Listen, if a guy is good at lying to his own friends, then he could lie to you too. My current bf is a MAJOR pathological liar. It's a pain in the ass to say the least. I'm not saying he lies to you, but if he lies to his friends all the time, then he could easily lie to you. Now back to the main question: he probably lies to his friends because of what they said to him about always hanging out with you. He doesn't want to appear "pussy-whipped" to all his friends and get made fun of and get shit for it. He can't just be like, "Yea bro.. I'm with my girl and if you don't like it you can get over it!" His friends will be pissed at him either way, because he is choosing you over them. I had the same issue with my bf. He would lie to his friends so that they wouldn't think he was pussy whipped by me. Now he just doesn't care anymore, since I had a talk with him about it. But I also think it might be a good idea for him to hang with his friends a little more, so he doesn't lose contact with them. His world shouldn't always revolve around you. Space can be a good thing. So talk with him about why he does that and let him know that if he wants to hang with his friends once in a while it's fine. Guys like to have guy's night out, like girl's do. So give him that and let him know his lying needs to stop. Just don't be too hard on him. Hope I helped. Need anymore advice feel free to note my inbox.
~Sherah

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Do u also have the problem that your hair tie/scrunchie slides out? Tell me! I getting sick of it! please help! XO

Yes, I usually have this problem when I wear my hair up before I go to bed. In the morning my hair is all over the place, and my hair tie is not even in my hair. This happens when you don't wear your scrunchie tight enough or you play with it too much. When you play with your hair you add oil to your scalp and hair from your fingers. This makes your hair tie loosen and also makes your hair oily :( So in order to keep this from happening wear pony tails that have no metal clasps in them, and also wear them tightly in your hair. Lightly spray them back with a felxible holding hairspray and don't mess with it much. Hope I helped.
~Sherah

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Ok. I like a girl. She is still in love with her ex-boyfriend. We are kind of friends with benefits and make out everytime we get together. Things haven't been going so great, I want more, she is still in love. Lately I've been hanging out with this new girl, we will call her girl B. she is amazing, and beautiful. She says she doesn't want a boyfriend right now, which I know is girl translation for back off. but I really like her. I like them both, but I'm in a pickle with both, so any advice would be good.

Well your very intuitive to say the least. It's true that when a girl says she "doesn't want a boyfriend" that means that she probably doesn't like you like that. But sometimes girls really don't want boyfriends at the moment. I've said I didn't want a boyfriend before, because I really didn't like the guy, but I have also said it before because I wasn't exactly ready to be getting back in a relationship at the moment. Now the first girl, I'd stop all of the friends with benefits thing you guys have going on. That just shows her that you are there for one reason and one reason only. If you like her more than just for a mess around than show her. Basically by just messing around with her you show her that she has a right just to use you. And no one likes being used.

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My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and a month, on Decemeber 15. We are always together, and I think that I love him. I know it's like, oh your a child you don't know what love is, but I really do believe that I am in love. We were laying on my bed on each other and I was thinking about how I love him, and I was about to tell him.. I asked him what he was thinking about, and he said, "I love you." It was like so strange though because I was just about to say the exact same thing, but anyways.. Wow, totally off topic. I'm 13, and whenever we are making out.. We get a little too into it, I suppose. Where it gets to the point when it's "dry sex", or having sex with your clothes on.. Yes, I know it's weird.. But, I feel the erge to want to have sex with him, and go farther, sexually. I am only in 7th grade, so of course I don't want to go that far.. All I have done with any guy is "feel up", because I refuse to go farther.. He was trying to finger me and I wouldn't let him. Basically, I am trying to ask..

Would it be wrong if I had sex with him?
I don't think I am ready, at all.
I could be wrong? Maybe, I am.
But - I am scared that next time we hook up that it will go a little too far.
And it's not like a 10 second hook up, it's more like 10 minutes.
Really, how far is "too far"?
I believe feel up is far enough for 7th grade.
But I'd love your views.

Alright, you NEED to stick to your feelings. You are only 13 and you have plenty of time to explore this subject. you may be in love with him right now, but feelings change drastically with time. If you don't feel ready, and you are questioning it, then you ARE NOT ready. You push him away when he tries fingering you or pursuing a more sexual display of affection. You are having that instict to push him off for a reason. You are not ready. He said he loves you and you feel you love him, but you DO NOT need to show eachother your love by something this personal. Sex is a special thing and your first time should be too. Give yourself time. In the meantime, talk to him about it. Let him know that you are not ready to pursue this kind of sexual exploration just yet. If you need any more advice feel free to note my inbox. Much luck.
~Sherah

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I'm 16/f catholic; and I masturbate. Is masturbating a form of lust, thereby making it unacceptable against the commandments? I was just wondering, as I found that I'm virtually addicted, and although it is healthy, I want to know whether it is morally wrong for me.

Cheers. I rate high

Well this is a very "iffy" subject... Many people that are highly religious find it a sin to masturbate despite the healthy aspects because when you masturbate generally you lust after someone or lust after the thought of being with someone. It all depends how you look at it. Honestly I don't find it a sin, but if you think it is and you are dead set on staying fullu holy to all aspects of your religion, then you will probably have to drop the addiction to this natural "animal instict". Hope I have given you some insight on this. Need any more advice note my inbox.
~Sherah

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Okay, I have a wonderful boyfriend. He's my best friend in the whole world, we talk about anything and everything. Trust is not an issue and never has been in about 7 months of dating. (And about a year of a friendship before that.) I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We've discussed all the issues that need to be discussed, such as our views on children, religion, and our personal goals for education and career, etc.
But I have another factor affecting my life that he doesn't know about, not because I don't trust him enough to tell him, but because of the huge impact that it would have on my life, my family, and him if I were to tell him. I have never told anyone about this and now that I've found love I see how stupid I've been in keeping it a secret and what the consequences of doing so could be. I feel like I have to tell him, and that if I just tell him everything would be okay, but I don't know. I don't know how he would take it or how my family would take it, and I know that it could possibly ruin a lot of things that I've worked for. I know I'm being a bit vague, but I need help on how to introduce this to my boyfriend and how to help him realize that it's not his fault that I haven't told him. And I think I need his help in introducing it to my parents as well.
Quite frankly, this is a huge leap into the unknown and I don't know how to make it. Has anyone had similar experiences that might help me sort through this?
Thanks in advance.

Well I think the most difficult thing to do is open up to someone about something that could affect not only your personal relationship with your b/f, but with your family as well. But you NEED to be open with him about this secret. Show him that just because you have kept it from him for so long, that it was not because you didn't trust him, it was because of other more personal reasons. He should be understanding, but know that it will probably be a huge shock to him, since it has been so long into the relationship and this huge secret has not even been brought to his attention or discussed. Whatever the secret is you need to be understanding of his feelings, be considerate, and tell him it with tact. Maybe start out by saying something like: "Baby, we need to talk about something. It isn't neccesarily bad, but it is something that I need to tell you. I love you so much and I trust you with all my heart. You have always been there for me, and that is why this is so hard to bring up. There is something I have been not only keeping from you but I have also been keeping from my family as well. I felt it would be easier to dismiss the issue then to bring it up to you, which is so stupid on my part. I'm sorry about that, but I want you to know that I love you and I hope you understand..." Then go on and tell him your secret. Being tactful, yet blunt makes everything you are telling him straightforward and honest, even though he might feel a bit betrayed by the fact that you never told him in the first place. You need to find the strength to open up to him about this. No matter how hard it seems, just take a deep breath and do it. In the end it should be fine. I'm not saying it will all be so simple and so easy, but it will be difficult at first... AT FIRST. Time heals all pain, and problems as well. And everything happens for a reason. So be bold, be strong, and be honest. He loves you and you love him. That is all that matters and he shouldn't take whatever you tell him the wrong way. Good luck! Feel free to note my inbox if you want. I hope everything turns out good for you.
~Sherah

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How can I get a beautiful girl such as your self to fall for a guy like me? :P
Ramon

Hey wat is ur name on this site...?

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How can I get a beautiful girl such as your self to fall for a guy like me? :P

lol, well hun, you can't "get" a girl to fall for you. Just be yourself. I love when someone can be themselves around me, be comfortable around me, and be open with me. Most girls like a guy that can be funny, make them laugh, but can also be serious and listen to them as well... I'm pretty sure you won't have much trouble getting girls if you just be yourself. You seem to have everything under control ;)
~Sherah

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I am really not shy but i find it hard to start conversations with guys. SOmeone picked me up from the movies and i was quiet the whole time. Is their a strategy i could use or something to help me think of topics? PLease help its so akward!

Its okay hun, everybody goes through this. I'm incredibly nervous when I first hang out with someone especailly when I am on a date. So try to smile alot and be yourself. It is natural to be nervous, extra shy, and unsure about what to talk about. During the movie, if he bought you popcorn you could sit it in his lap so you have to sit closer to him to be able to eat it. After the movie, talk about the movie, your favorite scenes, and as that conversation evolves you guys can start talking about other topics. What is his favorite band? What kind of movies does he generally like? After he responds, don't sit there and say something like, "Cool..." It seems like you are very uninterested in what he had to say. Instead start talking about what you love as well. Even add a little funny story or something that will tell him a little more about you. The more you guys talk, the easier it will be for you to feel comfortable around him. Don't have too much expectations of the night. And do not obsess about how nervous you are going to be. Even talk to yourself in your mirror at home, to come up with ideas of what to say, and what you will do when asked a question. It seems silly but it can actually really help. Also, if you notice that you are acting nervous and not talking, force yourself to talk. Tell yourself you MUST talk to him. Don't worry about anything. Just be yourself and relax. I hope I helped. ~Sherah

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On sunda is my boyfriends little sisters birthday party. It will be the first time I have ever met his parents! I want them to know I am a really nice girl and that I love there son alot. What kind of things can I do to show them that I am really nice and that I will treat there son well. I love him and I want to be with him for ever!

The best way to get on his parents good side is to be yourself, be genuine, and friendly. Try not to be shy, because this makes you seem secretive and shady. If you seem too excited you will seem fake and insincere. You want them to like you, so try and get a little something for his little sister since it is her birthday. When your bf introduces you smile and say something like, "Nice to meet you." Let them be the ones to ask you questions about yourself, that way you won't babble about something you might not want them to know about. And don't act nervous. Just smile, answer their questions, and also ask them questions too, that way they don't feel like their interviewing you or something. You will appear nice, friendly, and they will feel that you generally want to be a part of their son's family. Just don't worry... if their son is dating you, I'm pretty sure his parents will love you! Just be yourself and relax, because their is absolutely nothing to worry about! Good luck! ~Sherah

PS:) If his parents aren't as excited to meet you and aren't as friendly as you expected don't give up. Just keep coming around, so they know that you are going to here for a while. They will warm up eventually. Remember... this is THEIR son and they want nothing but the best for him. So it is obvious that some parents will overprotect their son and question every girl he is with. Everyone's parents are different. Like my mom... she is very intimidating. When she met my bf she acted like it was an interview. My bf was very polite, answered the questions directly, made eye contact, and smiled... things a person would do in an actual interview. But his parents on the other hand... totally the opposite. When they first met me they introduced themselves and then acted like they didn't really care about much more about me. Well I kept coming back so they warmed up to me and now I feel totally at ease around them. It takes time and little effort. So just don't worry. Things will be just fine! :)

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anywayz i hate my hair its always frizzy. i wanna straighten it but its still gets frizzy. does anyone know a way for me to get rid of this frizzy hair without my hair looking nasty and feeling hard like hair spray. thanks!!!

Alright when you are straightening your hair, not only are you damaging your hair strands, you are drying them out causing major frizz, broken ends, and split ends! Before styling, wash you hair with a shampoo snd conditioner especially formulated to help dry hair and scalp. Then deep condition your hair with a deep conditioning serum, like Aussie 3-minuite revival conditioner. Afterwards, lightly towel dry your hair and let it set in the towel and air dry for about 15-20 minutes. (This will mean less heat damage from your hair dryer, since it will take less time to dry.) When your hair is damp, spray a leave-in conditioner and shine spray. Try anything by Pantene and John Frieda. After this apply a straightening cream before you dry. This will definently help with the uncontrolable frizz. Then dry your hair and straighten as usual. Make sure you are using a straightening iron with gold plates. It heats up faster and lasts longer, meaning less wear-and-tear on your strands. (Another option is to go to a salon and pay to have your hair professionally straightened. It is like perming, but straightening instead. It last about 6 months.) Hoep I helped. ~Sherah

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i want to ask this guy to like this spooky woods thing.. but im kinda scared.. (feeling like an idiot if he rejects me) we are friends, and i was thinking of like, on aim, i should be like "haha, your so cool we should hang out sometime." like that? then asking him tommarow :/ but idk. can you help me?

Alright, I think you should just casually bring it up. If you think he will reject you because he doesn't like you like that, then just ask him and make clear to him that it is just friends. And he might even like you more than friends and just doens't know how to go out and say it. So spending quality time together and being scared together could definently spark something. So basically ask him like this:
You: Hey, what are you up to?
Him: Not much, you?
You: Not alot, kinda bored, but this weekend is going to be pretty fun!
Him: Cool...
You: What are you doing this weekend?
Him: Not much really, I don't really have plans.
Why?
You: Oh, I was just wondering because i was going to this scary

(*NOTE: If he definently has plans than you don't even have to ask because you already know he can't go.. thus saving you embarassment)

If he does turn you down don't be discouraged... he might be busy, might not be allowed to go, or he just might not like scary things... whatever the reason, don't let it affect your friendship. Good luck! ~Sherah

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13/m I have a sister, let's call her "Z", she's 2 years older than me. Niether of us have ever had dates before. But this last summer, I realized that I was in love with one of my best friends from school "M", and Z was in love with one of her best friends from camp, whose name doesn't matter. Well, of course I told M how I felt about her, because it was just burning up inside me and I didn't know what else to do. It turns out, she's not sure how she likes me, and also she has an ex who went through a painful breakup with her. Because he's a jock. I am not in any way, shape, or form, a jock, and also I can't thing of any reason why we would go through a painful breakup with her. So not only is she unsure of her feelings, but she also doesn't want to go through a painful deja vu. And to put it on top of everything, she had a huge argument with the popular kids, and they will do anything to get revenge on her or anyone close to her---namely, me. So I was insanely depressed for a long time...

About two months later, we learned that what Z was feeling was mere infatuation. She went to another school this year, and she met a really weird guy "R", first they just had a bunch of classes together, then Z realized that she liked him, and eventually she loved him, and her best friends were pushing her to ask him out, or else they could slap her really hard continuously for 3 straight minutes. So she asked him out, and they're going out in a few weeks---on his birthday!

A day or two before, I had asked M to the school dance, as friends or more. She might be rehearsing for a play then, but at least there's hope. But for some reason I feel like Z isn't ready to be dating yet... I don't know why. I've never met R but he sounds like such a great guy... I don't know... Maybe it's just a huge milestone in both of our lives... maybe I'm jealous... I don't know... And right now I feel like I'm going to burst out of confusion... I usually know what's going on, people always answer my questions with stuff like "Wow, how old are you really?" or "I know some people who are 21 and you're more mature than them!" And all that crap. But now this is the one time outside of social studies or having to do with M when I have no idea what's going on... why am I so jealous or worried for her? And has it ever struck you as difficult to have two people who happen to both love each other? Like, really, what are the odds? Thanks... I'm so distraught!

There is nothing wrong with being protective of your sister. You seem very mature so I assume you guys are pretty close to eachother even though the age difference. You might be a tad jealous as well. Your sister and you both hadn't been dating other people before and now that she is in the dating scene, you might feel left behind, especially since you like this girl, and things aren't going exactly as planned. All I have to say is that your sister is older and she is just starting to get into the dating scene. I didn't start dating until I was 15 and most people my age had already had bf's and gf's before and I was new to the whole thing. My twin sister had never dated either or gotten kissed, and when I started dating before her and got my first kiss before her, she felt left out, confused, and I could tell she was jealous as well. But her time came, and so will yours. I suggest meeting your sister's bf if things get serious since you seem to be a good judge of character. Plus it will put your heart at ease a little bit after meeting him. That way you will know for sure if he will treat your sister right. And as for the girl you like, pursue her but don't have high expectations. The more you want things to happen the more it will hurt if things don't go your way. I hope my advice helped and if you ever need any advice note my inbox and I will be happy to answer your question. ~Sherah

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Ok me and my bf have been going out 4 almost 8 months. It would be 8 months on Saturday. We've been fighting lately and just when I think we're good again he turns around and we're fighting again. I don't think I can put up with it. I love him so much im jsut sick of being confused all the time. I wrote him a breakup note and everything i was so sure of it last nite..but 2day i dont know. I love him so im afraid to lose him but I think we should just take a break 4 awhile...I don't know if he would ever take me back tho. I'm so afraid to do this and I'm gonna miss him so much. I guess my question is am I doing the right thing by taking a break?

It all depends on the topic of your fights. Your fights might just be bickering due to stress about other things, not enough space from eachother, or maybe there is a hidden issue you guys have with eachother that you aren't bringing out in the open so it is causing you guys to fight over anytihng and everything. My boyfriend and me went through this and I know exactly what you are going through. The first 2 months of datig we were always fighting then everything would be fine, then we would fight again. The issue was not what we were bickering about. It was something else. We bickered because we weren't sure about our relationship. We were so close to eachother, yet not sure if how we felt for eachother was actually real. He said he loved me, but I didn't really believe him, and the same with him. Well after 2 months he went to Chicago for 4 days and we hardly got to talk on the phone because of his cell didn't get good signal. But when he did call the day before he got back we talked for 2 and 1/2 hours about everything and anything on our minds. It felt like we broke through a barrier and the space showed us how much we really did love eahother and want to be with eachother. You NEED to get space from him, and you need to weigh in the options of why you guys are fighting so much. If it is something really big, then maybe a break is the best thing to do for both of you. But you NEED to talk to him about this. Be calm and civilized. No reason to fight about why you are fighting! Just ask him why he thinks you guys fight all the time, and when things gets tense you MUST take the initiative. You be the calm one. That way both of you aren't blowing up on eachother. Hope I helped. If you need any advice just note my inbox and I will be happy to help. ~Sherah

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i straighten my hair and by the time i get to school its kinda poofy and thick.. my question is what can i do so it will stay longer.. put a little gel or moouse in ?

Do not use moouse! Moouse is used to volumize hair, and since your hair is really thick, I doubt very highly that that is what you want. My sister has to straighten her hair because she has very thick, naturally curly hair, and it poofs real easily. She went to a salon and bought one of their straightening irons. They are expensive though, so for a less expensive option you can go to any local store and purchase a straightening iron. The straightening iron MUST have:
1. Gold plates (silver doesn't warm up as fast as gold, so gold will straighten ALOT faster and better)
2. High heat settings (read the back of the box and it will mention about heat settings up to 20 or 30. This helps maximize the amount of heat your are putting on your hair. For you it will need the maximum amount of heat)

Before straightening: shampoo and condition your hair as usual, or with some kind of relaxing formula that deep conditions. Then apply a straightening cream or serum. Blow dry your hair as usual and then straighten. After that style the way you want. *NOTE: After straightening your hair will get VERY dry and it will need to be deep conditioned once or twice a week to keep its natural shine, silkiness, and to prevent split ends. This will prevent frizz, broken ends, and dull, dry hair. I hope my advice helps. If you need any advice about anything else note my inbox back and I will be very happy to help you. ~Sherah

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