Kendra is a young woman working as a professional in Toronto. She's a cat lover, a bookworm and has always had a deeply rooted interest in people, love and what happens when the former attempts the later.
She's been in three long term relationships, lost her mother when she was 16 and has lived through her father's alcoholism and drug abuse. She's a college graduate in journalism and art, has a quirky personality and has acquired some realistic yet romantic beliefs about love and relationships.
She lives with her boyfriend. Life may not have always been good, but it is good now.
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario
Member Since: August 22, 2008
Answers: 207
Last Update: February 14, 2013
Visitors: 15411
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Razhie
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there is this guy at school that is obssessed with me and i really want him to stop that becausee hes freaking me out i told him that i hate him but he says he will love me till the last day of his life what should i do?
(link)
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Ignore him as much as possible. Avoid eye contact and try to never be alone with him ever. Make sure your friends know you don't want to be around him on your own. He knows you don't like him, and now all you can do is prove it to him by pretending he doesn't exist.
Eventually with no contact from you at all, he should give up and move on.
If his interest in you becomes more aggressive and starts scaring you, talk to your mom or dad about it.
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i really like my boyfriend of 3 months but i get uncomfortably wet when i make out with him and grind with him...i know its a good thing but i dont like getting that wet...it feels almost as if i peed my pants...
does anyone know how to stop it or anything? thanks. (link)
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You can't stop it. It's just how your body is made. And this is a good thing. Try to realize that if you get really wet it means your body is working really well. Trust me. Some women never get wet and this causes problems.
Also, it always seems way more messy than it actually is. The easiest thing to do is to become comfortable with your body and your sexual responsiveness. What you're feeling is normal, but the solution is to accept your body as it is instead of looking for ways to change it.
Believe you me, when you're a grown woman you'll be thankful for this. And your boyfriend is probably loving it, or will love it if he's aware.
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Okay, well I kinda snuck out the house at 3am a few weeks ago to go to my boyfriends house and he didn't even know I was going over there he just called me and said "im outside" so I decided to walk out there to see him. Well anyways my parents found out what I did and they think it was all my boyfriends fault that I snuck out even though it was my idea. Well they grounded me from everything and called my boyfriend who I was like in love with and told him never to speak to me again and that I couldn't talk to him anymore. Well that didn't stop me. I been using my friends phone and been texting him and when my parents go to bed I get the house phone and call him at night, but we are broken up. I want to go back out with him, but ill never be able to see him, but im like madly in love with him. Also my parents don't want anything to do with him so what should I do? Like should I go back out with him? or should I just move on and stop talking to him? (link)
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I would move on. And I'll tell you why. Relationships in your teenage years end most of the time. The likelihood of this love becoming long-term and marriage bound is almost 0%.
Love when you're in high school is about the experience and letting yourself fall and getting your heart broken and breaking some hearts too. It's about making mistakes and learning from them, and figuring out your boundaries.
In all honesty, most teenagers would probably do exactly what you're doing, sneaking around the rules to make it work.
But in the end, the strain of not seeing each other is going to bring this relationship to an end. At the very least, try to look at this love as a sweet memory, and remember in the future not to sneak out of the house or your parents will make your life very difficult for you.
It hurts, I know, but time will take care of that. You'll fall in love again.
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15/f
i have a 4 year old brother. im scared of being a bad sister and scarring his views of me for life, but sometimes he is so annoying that i feel like really hurting him. when i explain he's being annoying he does the same thing any 4 year old boy would do... do it again.
it scares me and it makes me feel bad because i know he has no idea what hes doing wrong.
instead of hitting him what can i do to make him stop being annoying? (link)
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I agree with making some time for him to have some fun doing what he wants to do. Try a half hour a day or something. Then if he annoys you later you can say that because of his behaviour you don't want to play with him that day. Thus you as a big sister are teaching him the consequences of his actions.
Also, if he's getting positive attention from you, he may be less likely to seek bad attention from you.
I had a little brother growing up and I wish I had tried that more often. I do know when I was nice to him and spent time with him he would try and annoy me less.
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I've been having dreams of girls lately. Like some are I suddenly wake to be in a relationship with a random girl. (But then I suddenly ask what happened to my boyfriend...)
And others are I don't even see the person, but I have some kind of feelings for them and am searching for them.
Two dreams I'm going to mention are of an old friend and a boyfriend's friend. I'm honestly not sure what the feeling is I have for them.
I mean, yes, when I first met my old friend... I thought she was pretty and such. But I moved my feelings to someone else as at the time she was not interested in girls.
I'm not quite sure what love really is. But I think I love her... but as a friend.
I've been having a couple of dreams of her lately. I'm always looking for her and I feel love towards her. I think I might miss her. I haven't spoken to her in over a year. I was in a bad relationship at the time and I wasn't allowed to see her. I feel guilty ignoring her.
And this other girl, my boyfriend's friend, I met once and didn't really talk to her.
She's barely older than me and has a child. I think I may just care a lot for her. In my dream, I was taking care of her. I think I just might feel bad for her because of her relationship problems. I was in abusive one so I really want her to be happy.
What do you think? I do love my boyfriend a lot. So I'm confused as to why I keep getting these dreams/thoughts/feelings...
Is it just that I want to make people happy? (link)
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I think you might miss your friend too. I doubt this is anything sexual.
I had similar dreams about a friend I had stopped talking to. I was looking for her and missed her and wanted to see her. I took it to mean I had let go of our differences and I should let her know that.
Long story short, we're best friends again.
I think you should call your friend and let her know you miss her.
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Ok i told you all about how this guy liked me told me that he loved me said he didn't want my friend and lied to me we he really did. But i don't want to go back in all that detail. But i am not talking to him he text me yesterday and i told him i was mad and wasn't talking to him and told him about SOME not ALL but some of what I knew he lied to me about. I asked him why he lead me on and he said I lead him on which I didn't(i don't think I did). Now I have questions is the girl my friend for real because she knew I liked him and asked if she should go with(not if i approved but just asked period) him. And I saw him flirting with her RIGHT in front of me. What should i do???? Should i still talk to him and PERTEND not to care that he is flirting or do what he does to me? And WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I LOST THIS BATTLE i always said that I would never fight over a boy or let them know that i want them if they don't want me. But he told me that he still loves me and I said i know he doesn't mean it. PLEASE give me advice you can ad anything extra I NEED IT. (link)
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You probably feel like you've lost because this boy is dominating your thoughts and has control in this situation.
My advice is to stop giving him control and to take back control over yourself. You do this by no longer texting him back whenever he texts you. Ever. This will make him nuts and will stop you from playing into this foolishness.
Secondly, don't get into big or small conversations with him. Find reasons to leave if he's around. This is called "The Snub." You must remain calm and centred. Acknowledge his existence when you absolutely have to, but otherwise pretend he's not there.
As for people asking you about him, just shrug it off. Don't let anyone draw you into talking about him either.
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Iv been with my bf for 8 months and he has a obsession with blonds. Which is nothing like me I am have black hair and very curly, but whenever im out with him and he sees a pretty girl whos blond he will stare or he will say oh shes hot and it makes me feel ugly or like shit I dont want to talk to him about it in case he thinks im jelouse or being stupid I dont know what 2 do! Sophie (link)
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I would very calmly the next time he says something like that to you, "oh, she's hot," for you to say to him, "Those are thoughts you should keep to yourself, or I may have to start airing my feelings about the attractive men I see."
Or you could give him the cold shoulder for a long time and when you're good and ready (and he's going nuts) you can calmly explain to him that you've been trying to decide if you want to date a man who says things like that to you because it's disrespectful.
Or you could break up with him.
My only definite advice is to not continue in a situation with a boyfriend where you feel ugly. Either find a calm (I keep saying "calm" because if you're going to cry or shout you'll lose the battle and he'll think you're nuts) way to coldly inform him it won't be tolerated, or leave.
And don't worry about coming off as cold about this either, either. It'll put him on his toes, make him a little nervous and make him realize he doesn't have you so far under his thumb that he can treat you so rudely. Because it's when guys think they've got you for sure that this nonsense tends to surface.
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I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 8 months now and i know its not long but we have been through so much together and i love him so much. He can be jealous especially when he has had a drink. I used to run nightclubs for a living but gave it up so i could spend more time with him and so that it would help his jealously. we recently had an argument and he got very agressive and started punching walls and stuff. He even punched me in the leg and threw me off the sofa. Ive never seen him like this before and it scared me. The problem is i love him so much and i dont want to loose him, the only thing stopping myself is my pride. I always said i would never let myself get into a situation with a guy when he rules me, yet thats what im in. I know deep down i should just walk away but my heart wants him back. Am i stypid? (link)
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You're not stupid, you're confused about what love means.
Do you want to know how to help someone with their jealousy? By not tolerating it and walking away from them if it's too much for you. The way you make a person's jealousy worse (on you too) is by accommodating it and validating it by changing your behaviour.
What is going to happen now is he going to start hitting your more regularly because he knows if he does you are not going to leave him.
He's got you convinced you're in love with him and going to "lose" him, when in fact his violence should cause him to lose you.
You need to ignore your heart on this one because it's being clouded by abuse. Your brain is what you need to listen to, and your gut instincts, both of which are not so far gone yet. They're telling you to get away and you should listen.
Do you want to marry a man who hits you? Do you want the father of your children to hit you in front of your kids? Is this the future you want? Because it's the future you're signing up for by staying with him.
Tell your girl friends and your parents what has happened in your relationship so that you can see their reactions. When they're horrified and want you to leave, hopefully you will get the courage.
Beware, his next step, if he hasn't done this already, is going to be to try and prevent you or discourage you from seeing your friends and family. DO NOT let this happen.
Get out now while you still have a chance. This happens to a lot of women. Don't be ashamed to get help. Please don't become a horrible statistic of women who stay with their abusers.
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Ok.. so im not very good at like dating or with love. it seems everytime i get close to someone, i always end up hurt. well i had 2 loves in my life they were about 5 years apart. well i finally moved on and i found someone new. Im falling so deeply in love, i mean i never felt this way before ever!! this is like i think about this person all the time and i can see myself being with them, everyone thinks were so good togther. but i always have this feeling that things aren't so great. Now am i just feeling that way cause im just afraid to get hurt? i think this relationship is amazing, and its gonna work, but then i feel like it wont. im just so confused??
if you could help me..i'd be gratefull (link)
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Most relationships fail or end. Think about it. How many people fall in love once, get married and then live out their lives together and die together?
That never happens.
You're likely to have relationships end in the course of your life. It's the human experience and nothing to worry about. Hey, this relationship may end. And then maybe you'll learn some things about yourself and what you want and what you should and shouldn't do.
Or maybe it won't and this will be it. One thing I do know, though, is this: If you spend too much time worrying about it ending then you're not really enjoying the relationship. Bringing neurosis into a happy relationship is a good way to make it end.
Will you never get a pet just because it'll die and you'll get hurt? Will you never have children because giving birth will hurt? And you'll be worried about them and that will hurt? will you never make friends because you may grow apart and it will hurt?
Life is pain. Life can be great, but there is always the eventuality of pain. Just accept that and try to take joy in what you have while you have it. The only person you're ever guaranteed to have your whole life is yourself. You can't worry about things ending to the point you're picking apart the things that make you happy.
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let me start off by saying I am a 20 year old female virgin. I been wanting to have sex for a long time but I just never found the right guy or the right time to have sex but I KNOW I AM READY.
I met this guy about a yr and a half ago. and I told him that I didnt want to have sex with him anytime soon. He undetstood that, so we just did foreplay. I know it was a bit stupid becasuse when you do foreplay, other things come over you. It was all good at first but then he started asking me if he could have sex with me and i told him no, but like most guys, he kept asking me over and over. I havent did anything else with him since Oct 2007. Now that im back n school this semester, he wants to start up again even though i told him that I DO have a boyfriend. I told him no again, but now he is claiming that he wants to continue to talk to me.
This august, I met a man that I am currently dating. I have been going with this guy for about 2 and half months. he is not a virgin, obviously because he is 25. I think im starting to fall in love with him. I never told him because I dont know how he would respond. He is starting to ask me over and over if I want to have sex too. But even though I am ready, I just refuse to go through with it and I dont know why.
my questions are...
Should I continue talking to the first guy (not sexually), just keep in contact with him?
Should I start having sex with the second guy just because I am finally ready to lose my V(virgin)-card and because I think I might be in love with him. (link)
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Maybe you're holding back even though you're ready because while you think you're falling in love with this man, you're not sure if he loves you back. If this is the case, then I would wait until you know he loves you before you sleep with him.
And I don't think this other friend of yours is really much of a friend at all. I'd stop talking to him.
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ok, so I had sex at the beginning of the month, on both the fourth and eleventh of October. About two weeks from the first time I had some spotting, it lasted for a few days but was fairly light. I know some women can have implantation bleeding so I got pretty nervous. But yesterday was the day that I'm supposed to get my period and I had bleeding, but not as much as I normally would. It's more than the spotting in the middle of the month, so I don't know what to think.
I've been pretty stressed lately and have made some diet changes, so maybe that could be affecting my period? What do you guys think?
I'm not on birthcontrol and sex was mainly protected ( the first time he didn't use a condom for the beginning, but then put one on. The second time was completely protected. I'm aware of precum, please don't preach to me.) (link)
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You don't sound pregnant to me. But there are pregnancy tests available for you if you're nervous. Buying them isn't a big deal. People at the drug store see all kinds of stuff that are way more embarrassing than that: adult diapers, lubricant, hemorrhoid cream... you get the idea.
If you're having sex and concerned about pregnancy I would advise talking to your doctor about birth control options. Worrying like this every time you have sex and a strange period is not really fun, is it?
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My boyfriend has been mentioning things about his girl friends like last night he was telling me how this one chick looked real good in he halloween outfit and then he said sorry for saying. Later we were talking and I told him to hang on so u could fix my bra and he goes u thought you didn't wear them to bed you said they hurt your back and I was like no I never said that and he said oh that must have been someone else then srry again. It upset me a little but I acted like it was no big deal. Is it one? If so do you think he is playing the jealousy game or what? (link)
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The best way to deal with boyfriends who try to make you feel jealous is to ignore them. Pretend like you didn't hear it or care. That keeps you in control of the situation because he has then failed in getting a reaction out of you.
However, any guy that does this a lot is not worth dating because it's a rude and insecure way to behave and it's easier to date someone who isn't always trying to upset you. Guys who actively flirt with other girls or go to strip clubs or things like that should just be dumped.
So far it sounds mild. I think by acting like it's no big deal is best. A blank stare or brush off of the comments is good, as though he said something about homework or something. When you act like no other girl is a threat to you by not even acknowledging this stuff it shows him you're confident.
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15/F
I've never kissed a guy but over half the kids I know have already lost their virginity or gotten way close to losing it. And they're all like "YOUVE never kissed a guy? youre gonna end up like the 40 year old virgin, oh i know this guy for you" or whatever
And I 'pleasure' myself and stuff but just doing that, I feel SOOO guilty like I cant leave my room after.
And theres this guy that wants to do stuff with me and I really like him, and I talked to my mom about how I dont think hes that good of a person to hang around and she told me how my sister lost her virginity to a guy when she was my age.. which didnt really help.
But I reallly wanna do SOMETHING with a guy to know how it feels.. but at the same time I dont because I like being special, and feeling proud, and seeing peoples reactions when I tell them.
I just don't know what to do :[
this is highschool and its hard (link)
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I would absolutely stop talking to people about what you have and haven't done sexually. It is completely and utterly none of their business and when you tell your classmates and friends you are making it their business.
I think you also need to re-evaluate your feelings about masturbation. The overwhelming majority of human beings on this planet do it. It's a normal and acceptable sexual release that allows you to get to know your body, something that is incredibly important to do.
Now, since right now pleasuring yourself makes you feel guilty I don't think it sounds like you're ready to have sexual experiences with boys. Try working on becoming happier and calmer about masturbation first. Tell yourself it's okay and it's great to love your body and how good it can make you feel.
Hopefully in the years to come when you're older you'll be ready to move forward and become a sexual person with your partner, guilt-free.
It's not your problem if other people are having sex right now. You get to live your own life and make your own choices. I know a number of women who, when they were girls, didn't kiss boys until they were 16, 17, 18 and didn't lose their virginity till they were 18, 19, 22, 24.
Fact is, there will always be a male who will want to have sex with you. That's just a fact. So don't worry about becoming a 40-year-old virgin. If you don't want to be a virgin anymore it'll be easy to change that. So take as long as you like. There really is no rush.
When I was still a virgin (and older than you are by several years) I was very proud of it. When I lost my virginity I made the choice based on my needs and my feelings and I knew I was ready. And then instead of being proud of being a virgin I was proud to have waited for the right time for ME. I hope you have the same sort of experience I did. It's very gratifying to make your own choices about your own body.
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I was wondering if anyone new any jewelry stores that sell some nontraditional engagement rings? (link)
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Actually, the diamond engagement ring came from a DeBoers commerical decades ago, where it was stated "A diamond is forever." Sales skyrocketed and a long fad of the diamond engagement ring came about.
Prior to that an engagement rings were any ring a man gave his fiancee to signify the engagement. It still holds true today. Any ring that's from the heart will do. Hence, "non-traditional" engagement rings are everywhere!
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i(16 in december) had sex for the first time last night with my boyfriend (18 in november)! i have a few questions;
1. is it okay if it hurt for most of the time, but felt so good at the same time?
2. is it good or bad that i bled while having intercourse?
3. it hurt like heck when he first inserted his penis into my vagina, is that alright?
4. we used protection, is he supossed to cum in your vagina with the protection?
5. how can i be 100% positive that im NOT preggers.
6. is it okay that i couldnt sleep the night we had intercourse? i fell asleep at like 1145 then i woke up at 4am before school!
7. is it okay if i sweated a lot on my body, but not my face?
8. do you think it was a little early? we have been going out for a month and a week.
please dont lecture me about the age difference between us, i like this boy a lot. he has done so much for me, hes gotten me out of so much trouble, gotten me away from almost being arrested twice. drives me to school every morning. kisses me in the hallway. holds my hand around his friends and my friends. he isnt all about hooking up or sex. i am able to tell him anything thats going on. i trust him 100% with anything. he meets me after almost every class.
oh, and 9. is that a good relationship? what i just described.
answer what you can =]
thank you in advance!
(link)
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Wow, lots of questions! Okay, here we go:
1. Sex can be painful or uncomfortable the first time. If you felt pleasure then that is positive.
2. It's neither good or bad that you bled. Many virgins bleed, many do not. It's a hymen thing. Google "hymen" and you'll see what that is and where it's located. Sometime it stetches for first time sex, other times it tears and bleeds. Some women tear theirs prior to sex in some other way. Everyone is different.
3. The pain was probably him tearing your hymen. The fact that you bled makes me think that is what happened. Totally normal.
5. If you are sexually active, look into getting the birth control pill and take it as directed. It's very VERY effective in preventing pregnancy. Continue to use condoms to make absolutely sure you're safe. As for now, make sure you get your period. If you're late, take a pregnancy test to check.
6. It sounds like you had an important night and couldn't stop thinking about it. To figure out if it's okay or not you couldn't sleep, spend some time reflecting on the night and ask yourself: was I comfortable? Was I happy? Did I feel safe? Did I feel loved? Am I confident I made the right choice?
When you've answered these questions for yourself you'll know if you couldn't sleep because you're worried and upset or if you were excited. If you were worried and upset, talk to your boyfriend about it and let him know how you feel.
7. Sweating on the body is a normal sexual response.
8. It is a little early, if only because when you're in your teens your feeling are really intense. When you're older your feelings will mellow out a bit more (good news, right?) so it's good for teenagers to take things a little slower, just to give themselves time to handle their strong feelings.
Ultimately you have to make your sexual choices based on what you want, what you feel ready for, what makes you comfortable. Also, think about what you would be prepared to do in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. Now that you've started your sex life, this is an important part of it. It's not fun to think about, but it's part of becoming a woman.
9. Your relationship sounds caring. I'm concerned about the getting arrested part, though. Try and stay outta trouble.
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My mom doesnt trust me at all im 17 years old im in high school last year in high school; i have good grades i went to boces for certified nursing assistant i feel like im doing everything im suppose too .my sister got pregnant when she was 16 years old i was 13 years old at the time my mom was dissapointed and upset .ever since then my life has been a living hell im not allowed to go anywhere but school im not allowed to have friends i cant communicate with no one if shes going out she takes the house phone with her i dont have a cell. and if i do go out for a walk she locks me outside (i live in long island NY and its freezing)she get so mad and says shes done with me that she doesnt care about me a bunch of stuff.im going to college soon and im going to need her to sign some papers for me she said that shes not going to.i have a boyfriend its been hard on him and me his great he treats me right and he makes me very happy i'm afraid that im going to have to end it because im not allowed to go anywhere. (link)
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Have you thought about talking to your guidance counsellor at school and telling him or her that your mom won't sign your papers to go to college? Maybe they'll have a solution or they'll talk to your mother. How about aunts, uncles and grandparents? Is it possible to reach out to them to get some help?
I think the time may have come to seek some outside assistance.
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f/16
I went out with the highschool quarterback for about 6 weeks and during our relationship we were super close. We’d talk about everything and anything. We talked on the phone all night and we always said I love you and everything was going great! Then he broke up with me a week after his concussion. He said that the concussion messed up his feelings for me and now he only sees me as a friend. The break up was out of no where and no one else saw it coming either. I wasn’t ready to breakup with him and a lot of people including me don’t think that his break up reason was true.
I’ve see him occasionally looking at me which made me have hope that maybe we can get back together. We’ve talked as friends but not like the convos we use to have. After a couple of weeks I thought that I’d finally gotten over him but then I saw him holding hands with this one girl only 3 weeks after the breakup.
Just seeing them hurt me a lot!! To me it seems kinda fast for him to already be in a new relationship. Honestly I’m not trying to sound mean but she’s not all that pretty either. I would understand if he went for the really pretty girl but he’s got me confused on y he’s with her. A lot of people don’t even know who she is. And he’s that hott jock.
I’ve got people asking me who she is and I’m all like I don’t know… a lot of people are saying that he’s an ass and did wayy better with me. My friend thinks he’s rebounding but that doesn’t make sense or does it? I mean he broke up with me so why would he do that? There’s also a therory that he’s trying to get me jealous but again he broke up with me, unless he’s realized something in the last few weeks?? Like maybe he likes me again? I’m not sure.
But I would love other peoples opinion on this please and thank you :] (link)
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I'm going to give you some blunt answers that while I think may hurt to hear, will help you move on from this boy.
I too think that his reason for breaking up with you was false. Likely he said it to spare your feelings because the real reason was that he no longer was interested in you OR that he liked someone else instead, probably this girl you mentioned.
So I don't think he's rebounding. Typically if you are rebounding it means you have been dumped and you are looking for someone else to make you feel better and wanted while you heal from the breakup.
Now, here's something to consider, whether he said it first or you did, it was really early to say I love you. Moving too fast tends to scare guys away. This doesn't change either. I'm in my 20s and this is the case for all of them. If you reveal your feelings too fast or have sex too soon, they tend to run.
My advice for the future is to never let the boy move as fast as he wants to move. Always stay in the driver's seat and make him wait a little bit. Even if this girl isn't as pretty, if she's holding his interest by being a little harder to get then she's playing her cards right. A pretty face matters to guys, sure, but personality is what makes them really interested in the long run. And guys will ALWAYS value what they have to try harder to get. It makes them think she must be something special if they have to try.
Try not to focus on her. This isn't about her and you don't have to feel like you need to compete. He's made a choice and you can make one too. Focus instead on yourself and what new boys you might like to date. The longer you stay hung up on this guy, the more other cute guys will think you won't date them because you're still thinking about this quarterback.
Based on your writing you seem like a well spoken and intelligent young woman. You'll find someone else.
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Well, I'm 14, and recently, I discussed with my dad if I could have a boyfriend, and he said he guessed so. I'm glad I can finally go out and all, it's just that only one person has asked me out this year, and I had to turn them down... so... yeah... it's not like I'm ugly or annoying, I'm not actually sure why a lot of people don't ask me out. Maybe I'm not flirty enough? I dunno. Can I have some tips on how to flirt with boys? I'm pretty quiet, but I'm outgoing if I get to know someone a little... does that make sense? Ok, well let's just leave it at I'm pretty quiet. And I'm more for boys asking me out, not the other way around... so... yeah...again. Anyone? (link)
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You sound like a nice young girl. I was very much like you when I was 14. I didn't get asked out until I was 16 and by then I was, well, desperate and I said yes just to have a boyfriend. Well, long story short, he was awful and I wish I had never dated him.
What's my point in all this? Dating happens when it happens. If you put too much importance on getting a boyfriend you might wind up dating a creep like I did. Don't tie up your self-esteem in this. It'll only make you feel insecure or too easy for some mediocre boy to swoop in.
I think letting the boys ask you out is perfectly fine. At least then you know for sure they like you and they're not just spending time with you because you're there.
As for how to get them to ask you out... well, just smile at the boys you like and be friendly. You'd be amazed how far that will take you. Don't try to be someone you're not. It's too much work and you'll come off fake, which isn't attractive.
Remember that you can't make a boy like you, but you can make yourself more approachable so that when boys do like you they feel comfortable talking to you. Avoid crossing your arms. Try playing with your hair. These things will make you seem more open and cute.
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Please do not judge me, or lecture me, just advice. 18/f
well i have this friend m and he is so sweet to me, and we text every freakin day, and he is always begging me to hang out with him, and if i ask him to come see me at work...he does :)
he's told me that he liked me, and is always texing me first and tells me im cute...blah blah...seems like things are going good right?...wrong, he has a girlfriend.
i always am asking him about her, like should'nt you be paying attention to her and not texting me, and he'll just be like nah, shes fine, or your funner to talk to anyways...and stuff.
well ive hung out with both of them, and she is ALL over him every time.
it bugs...
and he'll end up texting me the same night.
but i honestly dont know what to do.
i like him a lot...and i know he likes me, but i dont know what to do about his gf...???!!!
her own brother even thinks she's crazy...
should i go for it, give it time, leave it alone...anyone been in this situation??? (link)
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The key thing to know in romantic relationships is this: If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you.
Meaning, if he's betraying his girlfriend with you, then if you date him he'll just hit on another girl and text her and neglect you. It's almost a law of nature. He's showing you his true colours. He is the sort of guy who strings girls along and badmouths his girlfriend to other girls.
I'm sure this is very fun for you. I bet he's charming and his attention makes you feel good. But this is a fast road to heartache and drama.
Also... being with a guy who treats you poorly can bring out the worst in you, which may be what's happening to this girlfriend. And it could be you some day if he dates you instead.
I say leave it alone and stop letting him work his way into your life. He sounds like bad news to me.
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im a 20 year old male and i live in Canada
im dating a 14 soon to be 15 year old girl.
i wanna know if this is wrong? and if i have a problem.
i didnt think i did, but all my friends say i do.
so now idont know
i really love this girl (link)
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Yes, I'm afraid your friends are right and what you're doing falls under the category of "unsettling" and "creepy."
14 year old girls are nowhere near emotionally ready to date a grown man. You have more life experience than she has and your brain is developed. You can drink alcohol, drive, go to college, vote, get married... and she can't even get a learner's permit.
People likely look at you and think there is something wrong with a grown man that dates young girls. She's not even halfway through puberty yet.
If you love her, let her go. With this age difference for a 14 year old, you are interfering with her natural development and what you are doing is not legal.
A 14-year-old can be with a 19 year-old and a 15-year-old can be with a 20-year-old. When she turns 15, and you're 21 it'll be illegal again. You're breaking the intent of the law. Her parents can charge you.
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