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Q: Hello.
My name is Lilian Owoka, i went through your profile today at www.advicenators.com and i wish to continue relationship with you if nature will permit we have a long way to go.
to tell you more about myself and including some pictures of myself too. I will like you to get back to me through my private email (lilianowo@yahoo.com)
Thanks from Lilian

Hello Lilian.
Thank you for the compliment. However, I cannot accept your offer as there are some intrinsic issues that would make such a thing impossible. I hope you do understand, as this isn't exactly the orthodox means of starting a relationship... we simply no nothing about each other.

However, I'd also advise you to revisit your current passwords for your email account and advicenators account, as this entire question may be suspect.

Best of wishes,
Raldo

Q: me and my boy have been together, here, for a year. he just moved to live in florida.. we together in person would have so much to talk about do, we get along so good. now that hes gone, like, on the phone, theres not so much to say, its really hard to keep this relationship, i feel like eventually we'll just fall outta love cause the things we loved about each other we cant do cause hes far away, we can just talk, i like in NY by the way. Anyways, idk what to do.. any advice..

Long distance relationships are tough, I'm not even going to lie to you on that. They're tough because the distance really puts a limit on the things you can do (more on that later).

1. I implore you to be very open to each other about your expectations. "Expectation Management" is HUGE when you only have a phone to talk with. Honesty is the best policy! The things you choose to hide *will* act like a wedge between you two.

2. Be open to changing moods. Frustration and ambivalence are popular emotions because both of you are powerless to do anything short of traveling to see each other.

3. Try taking things one day at a time. Rushing "closeness" will get you nowhere and will only add to your mounting frustrations that you're not with your special someone.

The remedy:
Invent new things to do "together" either online, or over the phone. The world we live in today is very helpful when it comes to communication and there are limitless possibilities for you to explore. Try watching a movie together via the phone (if that isn't too expensive for minutes)--Timing the start so you both can see it at the same time adds an element of teamwork.

Playing scavenger hunt with camera phones (assuming you have them) by making lists for each other and the first to take photos of the other list wins.

It's all about keeping the novelty of dating while living 1000+ miles apart. It can be done, you just have to be creative.

Q:
it's wrong... because YG is supposed to be this family bonding..or what ever people continue to say...

DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM?!

where they like someone from their YG (or from school etc.)yet their like a best friend to you...and you couldn't dare take the chance to lose him as a friend?

You realize.."alright just be happy with what you have right now..which is a great friendship." But UGH that thought or imagination of what it would be like to be something more than just friends brainwashes you.

WELCOME to MY WORLD... hmm 7-8 months only...i've been like this... Don't get me wrong i attend to church for my unconditional love with God..but yet theres him...my bestfriend someone who never looks bad..someone who just i can't see but only him...it's like i'm left in a room with ONLY him and no one else.

HMMM more about us...well you see..this boy... lets call him darien shall we? :)
Darien well he's kinda shy...meaning he's not that average boy who can just jump up to any girl and talk to her right away...it's always a girl who talks to him first THEN he will start to talk to her..But OK so me and darien...supposdly people from YG has thought that he has liked me...because i'm a rare girl who he talks to A LOT... they say i'm his "no.1 girl best friend"
which i don't mind :) But yet...

i like him...and yet..i always wonder WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME...personally i'm not afraid to admit the fact that no..i am not ugly...i'm perfectly fine. I'm smart straight As all the way. I'm nice friendly funny...i'm a big social clown... So i ask...whats wrong with me...i try to look for reasons as to why he WOULDN'T like me more than a friend... (cocky of me..i know)

so i asked a friend one day and she said "wow..ok i swear darien likes you...or as least has..because online he just would always talk about you..and say oh serena said that too! or serena this and serena that..." So one time my friend asked him..."Do you like ashely?" (ashely is a girl from yg..who also likes him) he said flatly no... then my friend asked "what about serena?" He NEVER said no..all he typed in was She's nice...and he would change the topic...
IS THAT A SIGN?

NOW DAYS...it's been obvious that i like him..
so we went to a retreat...

BEAUTIFUL...

all our cabins next to a lake with about 170 people there in total.. we went canoeing together (me and darien) and...i sat on the swings alone..and he sat with me and we had a swinging contest :P i WON..hahahahhaha

anywho
While we were on the canoes people said "SERENA THIS ISN'T A ROMANTIC GET AWAY!" and they were kidding cause they had a foolish wild grin on their face but those people all knew about my secret with darien.

darien just said..haha sigh*

and it sucks...being stuck on that boat with the dude you like...and being embarassed so i just coughed unconditionally several times and said i was fine (i didn't know what else to do!)
i kept thinking to myself...it done..he knows... becuz funny thing is..when we land the canoe onto shore my friends see my and darien and they yell. "OH MY GOD SERENA I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!" and gave me the thumbs up.
i just laughed...and ran to the swings..he joined me and we had fun...

OK now heres the other part

So we had encouragement notes..where we can each write anyone in the retreat a note...and put it in their mail box ...
he wrote me one..he drew us on a canoe and said hope you had a great retreat and goodtimes on teh canoe and swinging :) see ya later!

i was so happy...
and i was even HAPPIER when i found out that none of my girl friends from yg got one from him.
then of course when retreat ended we talked a lot on AIM.
is this a sign? :p

haha i suck at this...

i'm sorry...wat a bother to be reading about my stupid life...but if you just want to be a jolly fellow and leave any advice or comments..feel free to do so...:)

(This should really be in Relationships - Friends rather than hobbies music... but I digress...)

What has stopped you from ever sharing this with him?

This may not be what you want to hear, but if you want to have a relationship with him you need to say something about how you feel.

How will he know you're even interested if you don't tell him? And don't say that you have acted interested by flirting and such... Guys don't pick up on subtle hints like that.

If you never say, "I like you." then he doesn't know. I can honestly guarantee that.

You obviously are infatuated with him, and he definitely enjoys your company from the sound of your experiences. So I encourage you to do something about it.

Q: I didn't know what category this would go into so I guessed, hope I got it right.
Anyways, I have a problem, atleast I think I do.
I ughh laugh to much. It doesn't sound that bad, just a happy kid. The thing is, I'm not happy :|.
If I fail a test, I laugh. I was about to fail math, I laughed. If someone shows me alot of emotion and starts to cry, I laugh.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not mean. It seems like it buut, I can't help it, I laugh to cover up things/feelings.
My friends if they cry infront of me they know by know that I don't do it to be mean, they understand.
Just, I don't. And, neither would other people.
I don't find when people are upset funny, espically the people close to me. It's just automatic reaction.
So, tell me, Am I screwed up?

No. In fact, laughing is a very normal thing for some people... especially when it's inappropriate. I know many people that laugh when it clearly isn't the right time. It's their way of coping with what is going on around them.

I can understand why you might want to rid yourself of this habit (and the good news is you can), but keep in mind why it is you're laughing. Are you only laughing in serious moments? Are you laughing uncontrollably, or out of anxiety from being nervous? Do you laugh at the news when natural disasters kill hundreds?

Asking yourself these things may help you realize why it is you're laughing.

Try looking here: http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Laughing-when-You-Laugh-at-Inappropriate-Times

There is a bunch of tips on how to stop yourself from laughing when you know you shouldn't be. My personal favorite is #12, the reverse psychology bit.

Q: wednesday, a guy asked me out and i said yes. we only just met on sunday, but we'd been hanging out for four hours that day and we talked online and on the phone.

anyway.

this "relationship" has GOT to end. i can't really go into the specific reasons why, it just absolutely has to. but he's been very nice and sweet to me, and i feel like $#!* for having led him on maybe.

but the truth is i got to know him a little better and... he's trouble. he's no good.

i already know i want to end this as swiftly and efficiently as possible without completely pissing him off and without getting into a confrontation/argument thing...

can anyone give me a good layout of a swift, persuasive, concise breakup speech?

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Law #3 of the Universe (a.k.a. The Law of Simplicity) states that nothing simple will ever be easy. That said, there is no easy way to end a relationship no matter how swift, persuasive, and concise your speech may be.

Law #5 of the Universe (a.k.a. Washington's Law) states that honesty is the best policy. Tell him the truth and don't drag it out... Nothing is worse than beating a dead horse.

Tell him why you don't wish to continue and be clear that there is nothing he can "fix" to keep it going. If you're worried about destroying him, make it more about you than about his personality. Stay away from nebulous expressions like "it's not you, it's me" or "you're not my type" or "I just don't feel it happening" because they all beg the question "WHY?"

If your reasons aren't clear, they will be called into question.

Q: how do you pronounce disgusting" disGusting or disCusting?

i hear lotsa ppl say disCusting!?!

According to Dictionary.com the proper pronunciation is dis-guhs-ting OR di-skuhs-ting.

Both are officially acceptable (I would, however, lean toward the former simply because it reflects the spelling).

Q: Stacy 15 Female,
When I get mad, I go on rampages and mess up my relationships with everybody, and I make sure things cant be fixed, I say things so hurtful and things I bottled up, everything Ive ever hated about tht person. Even if they forgive me, I always DO something to make them hate me. This has happened a couple times before I caught it. I dont even know what question Im asking, Im not even explaining this right. I dont think Im a depressed person but I am, right now just thinking about it. HELP!
Im starting high school with no one I had last year, the only people Ive ever opened up too.

At your age, a lot of teens have troubles communicating exactly what it is they feel. Rest assured that your situation is very normal, and there are plenty of people today (even adults) who don't fully understand why they feel the way they do.

Often times we bottle away our frustrations hoping that they will subside or go away--which is never the case. If you never truly deal with something troubling you, it *will* come back again. Bottle enough angst away and eventually you're going to pop. I suspect this is what you do, but only you can determine this.

Teenage years are often the most difficult as it is a radical transition in life; from child to adult. I compare it to a bridge--and in life there are many. We all pass through stages that get us to where we are now, to where we ought to be... try to make this a learning experience. Do some introspection and really identify what it is that bothers you and be aware of it.

You'd be amazed at how much a difference that will make. Simply being cognizant of your actions will help you shy away from those outbursts you've described.

More importantly, don't be hard on yourself. Give yourself a break every once in a while, because if you beat yourself up about it constantly you will end up just hurting yourself more.

If, however, you really do think you may be suffering from depression, I recommend that you maybe take a Depression Test (http://depression.about.com/cs/diagnosis/l/bldepscreenquiz.htm), or better seek some help with a counselor of some sort. Keep in mind, I got a 5 out of 10, and I'm clinically sound... it is by no means a substitute for the real thing.

Q: my friend (f) and i (f) want to do a duo piece this year. can someone help us find a piece for two women, preferably comedic? we can't find much online or at barnes and nobles. IT IS NOT NECESSARY that you give us actual PIECES, but maybe a website, a book.

and PLEASE GIVE LINKS. don't be vague by saying, "google it." cause we have. believe us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m72GNRrvc88&

Confessions of a Tooth Fairy.
Do it. Rock it. Be loved.

Q: Hey, so I know that probably that a lot of girls say this on here, but I guess I'm gonna say it now. I'm 15, female. All my friends say I'm pretty, but I seriously don't think I am. My friends, I guess you could consider them "popular". I just don't talk to guys very much. And if I do, it's never like a serious talk, it's always joking around. I always see my friends having serious talkes with guys, and their like, best friends with them. I'm just not like that. I consider myself as kind of, socialy akward, maybe. Like, I have cute clothes, good hair, great friends, but those things aren't that important in life. I just feel like I'm never going to get a boyfriend. I've never had one before. My friends say I should just wait until college to have a bf, but sometimes I just don't want to do that. I'm not looking for sex or anything like that, I'm just looking for a nice, sweet guy. All the guys that always like me, aren't that good looking. And I know that's really bad of me to say, and that's not all I care about, trust me, but looks are something. I don't know what to do. Guys don't know anything about me. There's actually a lot that people don't know about me. Like I love the NHRA drag racing. I think that if people knew more about me, they might like me more, but no one really ever asks. And if I bring something like that up, it's just akward. So what should I do???? I feel like I'm not pretty or skinny enough. Like, I'm not super skinny, but I'm not super fat. And my confidence level is usually very low, if you couldn't already tell. What to do???? Thanks

First and foremost, you need to smile at yourself in the mirror. It is perfectly normal to feel lonely at times. Everyone on this planet feels it at some point in their lives, because deep down we all want a feeling of belonging.

That said; you're 15 years old and you have PLENTY of time left ahead of you. Worrying about something as silly as not having a boyfriend isn't going to do you any good. This isn't a test, and you can't flunk if you don't have a boyfriend by the end of Summer.

Try loving yourself more. Forgive yourself of the things you can't let go; give yourself a break. There is nothing more attractive than a person who is confidant with themselves (not arrogant mind you, but mindful that they aren't worthless).

And there is good news:

There is a law that governs the universe, and it's called the Law of Attraction. It states that you will only get what you give.

You are obviously a person with depth, and if your friends tell you that you're pretty... believe them. Take that in. Enjoy that you are who you are and try to let things go their natural way. You need to be open to just letting things happen, and stop concerning yourself if things don't go the way you expected them to.

Something *will* come along.

Q: OK so im 18/f and he is 22/m
His father owns the restaurant i work at.

Any how the other day at work when i was getting the buffet refiled he was getting something to eat and he said "i miss you". Then he flashed a lil smile. We were right next to each other. It was quite quiet.

Last summer we talked alot but lately we just talk every now and then. He barley ever even responds to my e-mails. Im leaving in two weeks for college. I also had a thing for him before but i never let him know.

I guess my question is what do you think he ment by telling me this and what do i do?

THANKS!

Let me answer with the typical boy mentality...

"I miss you." means... "I miss you."

Guys aren't the type to hide what they're thinking. It tends to just come out the way it came together in our heads. So when he says that he misses you, he honestly misses whatever you used to have.

That doesn't mean there isn't potential. Guys are dumb like that (I can say that, because I'm a guy). Just because he 'only said' that he misses you, doesn't mean he doesn't want to go out with you... If he said, "Let's go on a date." you wouldn't think he was saying "I miss you." now would you? So try not to make it seem it's the other way around.

Guys will either say what they mean, or not say it at all.

So, spend more time with him if that is what you want. He obviously wants you to.

Q: ok my best guy friend asked me out, problem is im gay and her doesnt know it....neither does anyone else. (he's liked me for 2yrs now) so how do i tell him that im gay without breaking his heart?

Unfortunately, dealings with emotion are rarely simple (and this time is no exception).

Honesty is *always* the best policy. Easy to say, not so easy to do however. I recommend that you tell him the truth.

However, it may be easier for you to deal with this as two separate things and tackle them one at a time. The first issue is about him. Obviously you have no romantic feelings for your friend, so tell him. It may cause some heartache, but good friends stick around no matter what. Be very clear that the way you feel for him is nothing more than a good friendship. Throw in some compliments about his personality, or how much he helps you out and relate them to how they make him a great *friend.* You don't want to mislead him.

The second issue is about you. You may choose to tell him your sexual orientation, or you may not. I recommend you do so only if you feel the time is right and that you are ready. You must be very comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with anyone else knowing. Keep in mind, that friends are friends. They aren't judgmental, and they want to support you. If they act the opposite, then they really aren't your friends.

When you finally do tell him you're gay, don't beat yourself up over any reactions he may have. You have to remember he's known you for a while and it may come as a shock to learn something very new about someone very close. Don't take it negatively.

Q: I need to find a 30 second comedic monologue learn a british accent and a german one so i can audition for a part in y school play charlie and the chocolate factory. Can anyone help me in any possible way? I kind of have the british accent down but i have no idea aout the german one. and i can't find a monologhe.

help please!!!
i have 5 dayss!!

14/female

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4DTRB55TPk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03oAbzQmTdg

Check out these lovely videos. Best advice is such:

If it starts in th, switch with Z (that = zat)
If it ends in th, switch with a hard t (with = wit)
All w's should be replaced with v's (what = vhat)

Try to roll your r's slightly. It helps to just substitute the R with L. (very = vely) It's pretty odd sounding at first, but when you get into it, things become a little more natural.

Best of luck!

Q: what does it mean when people say "thats what she said"

Usually, it's a direct innuendo used to turn whatever was just said into something sexual.

I.e. If you are talking about a burger you just ordered and commented, "This isn't as big as I was expecting it to be."

The classic reply is: "That's what she said."

If you read into it, you can guess what the hypothetical 'she' was talking about.

bio

I'm a random eccentric with an excellent ear. I tend to appeal to common sense and logic, but I know a good knee slapper when I see one.

I love helping anyone and everyone, no matter what it may be. I consider myself a doorman...

Any doors I can open for you?