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temptation :[
15/F
I've never kissed a guy but over half the kids I know have already lost their virginity or gotten way close to losing it. And they're all like "YOUVE never kissed a guy? youre gonna end up like the 40 year old virgin, oh i know this guy for you" or whatever
And I 'pleasure' myself and stuff but just doing that, I feel SOOO guilty like I cant leave my room after.
And theres this guy that wants to do stuff with me and I really like him, and I talked to my mom about how I dont think hes that good of a person to hang around and she told me how my sister lost her virginity to a guy when she was my age.. which didnt really help.
But I reallly wanna do SOMETHING with a guy to know how it feels.. but at the same time I dont because I like being special, and feeling proud, and seeing peoples reactions when I tell them.
I just don't know what to do :[
this is highschool and its hard
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Hay don't worry bout it i went throught Highschool with the same outlook and i finished high school a complete virgin never having a Bf untill i was 17 (now) don't worry and dont try to push things on yourself. You have to be ready for this type of stuff and your virginity is something special that you should wait to lose untill your 17-18 or even older. You should wait till you feel that your in love with someone or the time is right.
My advice gust ignor those other girls at school, because every one is diffrent and diffrent things happen to diffrent people.
If you need anymore advice sweetheart gust drop a line.
Hope this helped
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I know exactly how you feel. I wanted my first kiss to be with someone I really liked and someone who gave me butterflies every time I saw him. I waited for my (now) boyfriend to ask me out and I even made him wait like 2 and half weeks to actually kiss him. My theory is, you have a first for everything. Do you really want your first [kiss] to be with someone you don't have a lot of feelings for? It may seem like the first kiss is no biggie, but the thing is, the first should still be special. And for me it was. I think the same should apply to you and many other girls who feel the way you do.
Who cares what people have to say? If they didn't wait for someone they cared about, then that sucks for them. I gave my first kiss to someone who DESERVED it. I'm not just going to let any random guy have it. It was special to me and should be for other girls as well.
Teens let middle/high school really get to them. Yes, we entered a bigger school with older kids, who are having sex. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't wait for a committed relationship to do the same. Fitting into the crowd is so dragged out. Be yourself and do what you believe is right. And if that means waiting for the perfect person who you believe is the right guy, then so be it.
Wait. Patience is truly a virtue. Don't take yourself for granted and try and become like every other girl who thinks Abercrombie is the only clothes line out there, kisses and hooks up with every guy she knows. Be yourself and be unique, it really pays off. And my guy finds it quite attractive.
Hope I helped !!
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You should never do something because you feel like you have to or b/c ppl want you too. Otherwise that will lead to regret. Honestly I am in the same position. I am 17 right now. And its November now, I didn't get my first kiss until last august 2008. And I am 17!!! It doesn't matter how old you are. Anyways, I waited out until I felt in my heart that it was the right moment. It meant soooo much to me you have no idea, and it will for you too if you wait for the right time with the right guy. And sex, please that is so over rated. I personally am remaining abstinent until marriage, b/c I want to prove to myself that love doesn't equal sex, and it does exist and is stronger. And I am not scared of ppl knowing. And you shouldn't worry either. I know you may want to do it, and yes highschool is hard. But it is OKAY to say NO. I promise, because I lived it, I lived the pressure, and I said no, and I can tell you that yes I am happy, I may not be popular with all the guys, but I have the respect, and that speaks mountains. I promise. Respect is so much more important, respect for yourself, your body and the people around you.
God bless you for waiting, and don't you dare be afriad to say no, there is nothing wrong with that, I promise.
I understand how you feel, b/c I stood in your shoes, and still am. So if you ever want to talk about it, give me your email, and we can talk about this. I promise :)
<3 Jeannie
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Well I'm only in middle school but I think I have an answer for you! If you feel guilty about "pleasuring" your self be sure not to rush into sex! If you like the guy date him but make sure he's not a guy just after sex! Get a guy you really care about! Remember you only get one first kiss!
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I would absolutely stop talking to people about what you have and haven't done sexually. It is completely and utterly none of their business and when you tell your classmates and friends you are making it their business.
I think you also need to re-evaluate your feelings about masturbation. The overwhelming majority of human beings on this planet do it. It's a normal and acceptable sexual release that allows you to get to know your body, something that is incredibly important to do.
Now, since right now pleasuring yourself makes you feel guilty I don't think it sounds like you're ready to have sexual experiences with boys. Try working on becoming happier and calmer about masturbation first. Tell yourself it's okay and it's great to love your body and how good it can make you feel.
Hopefully in the years to come when you're older you'll be ready to move forward and become a sexual person with your partner, guilt-free.
It's not your problem if other people are having sex right now. You get to live your own life and make your own choices. I know a number of women who, when they were girls, didn't kiss boys until they were 16, 17, 18 and didn't lose their virginity till they were 18, 19, 22, 24.
Fact is, there will always be a male who will want to have sex with you. That's just a fact. So don't worry about becoming a 40-year-old virgin. If you don't want to be a virgin anymore it'll be easy to change that. So take as long as you like. There really is no rush.
When I was still a virgin (and older than you are by several years) I was very proud of it. When I lost my virginity I made the choice based on my needs and my feelings and I knew I was ready. And then instead of being proud of being a virgin I was proud to have waited for the right time for ME. I hope you have the same sort of experience I did. It's very gratifying to make your own choices about your own body.
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If this isn't the guy, then it isn't the guy. Wait until the time is right. If it's not going to be special then I wouldn't even consider it. You may hear it's great and everything but you should think it through. Think of the risks. Also think of how the relationship will end and what will happen. What if you end up having a baby...what would happen? Would it have a good life? Would the dad stay? Think everything through first. I hope this helps. =]
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