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is he rebounding or what?
f/16
I went out with the highschool quarterback for about 6 weeks and during our relationship we were super close. We’d talk about everything and anything. We talked on the phone all night and we always said I love you and everything was going great! Then he broke up with me a week after his concussion. He said that the concussion messed up his feelings for me and now he only sees me as a friend. The break up was out of no where and no one else saw it coming either. I wasn’t ready to breakup with him and a lot of people including me don’t think that his break up reason was true.
I’ve see him occasionally looking at me which made me have hope that maybe we can get back together. We’ve talked as friends but not like the convos we use to have. After a couple of weeks I thought that I’d finally gotten over him but then I saw him holding hands with this one girl only 3 weeks after the breakup.
Just seeing them hurt me a lot!! To me it seems kinda fast for him to already be in a new relationship. Honestly I’m not trying to sound mean but she’s not all that pretty either. I would understand if he went for the really pretty girl but he’s got me confused on y he’s with her. A lot of people don’t even know who she is. And he’s that hott jock.
I’ve got people asking me who she is and I’m all like I don’t know… a lot of people are saying that he’s an ass and did wayy better with me. My friend thinks he’s rebounding but that doesn’t make sense or does it? I mean he broke up with me so why would he do that? There’s also a therory that he’s trying to get me jealous but again he broke up with me, unless he’s realized something in the last few weeks?? Like maybe he likes me again? I’m not sure.
But I would love other peoples opinion on this please and thank you :]
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No answer that I, or you, or your friends, or any other columnist here comes up with, is going to satisfy you completely.
There are NEVER totally satisfying reasons for a break up. Unfortunately, since it seems like this guy is being dishonest, it's even more dissatisfying.
He could be insane. It could be the concussion. He could be gay! He could think you have bad breath. He could have been replaced by an alien clone.
Same with the new girl. He might really like her. Her dad might be rich. She might put out. He might be rebounding. He might be desperately and madly in love with her 21 year old sister.
You'll never know. You'll be happiest when you are able to let this go and stop trying.
Stop talking to him. Then, stop talking about him. Then you'll find you can start to move on.
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I'm going to give you some blunt answers that while I think may hurt to hear, will help you move on from this boy.
I too think that his reason for breaking up with you was false. Likely he said it to spare your feelings because the real reason was that he no longer was interested in you OR that he liked someone else instead, probably this girl you mentioned.
So I don't think he's rebounding. Typically if you are rebounding it means you have been dumped and you are looking for someone else to make you feel better and wanted while you heal from the breakup.
Now, here's something to consider, whether he said it first or you did, it was really early to say I love you. Moving too fast tends to scare guys away. This doesn't change either. I'm in my 20s and this is the case for all of them. If you reveal your feelings too fast or have sex too soon, they tend to run.
My advice for the future is to never let the boy move as fast as he wants to move. Always stay in the driver's seat and make him wait a little bit. Even if this girl isn't as pretty, if she's holding his interest by being a little harder to get then she's playing her cards right. A pretty face matters to guys, sure, but personality is what makes them really interested in the long run. And guys will ALWAYS value what they have to try harder to get. It makes them think she must be something special if they have to try.
Try not to focus on her. This isn't about her and you don't have to feel like you need to compete. He's made a choice and you can make one too. Focus instead on yourself and what new boys you might like to date. The longer you stay hung up on this guy, the more other cute guys will think you won't date them because you're still thinking about this quarterback.
Based on your writing you seem like a well spoken and intelligent young woman. You'll find someone else.
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