Girls: I have used tampons before of course, but never at school. I just started using them over the summer. We have not even 2 mins to go to the bathroom at school, and I'm worried when I'm in the bathroom changing a tampon, some girl will walk in and see me underneath the stall with one leg up. What should I do, any tips? I can flush mine, but what do I do with the applicator and wrapper? The garbage is right by the door, away from stalls. What can I do??
Firstly, i think that you should campaign for a sanitary bin to be put in each lavatory stall in your school. How gross is that, not having one. But until that happens, chill out! Just make a ball with your fist which will hide the wrapper et al. To answer your first worry, if you really have as little bathroom time as you say then noone will have time to peek under your stall. Lol Lucretiax.
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my two best friends go out, and we have been having problems because first my guy friend (Kyle) well i liked him but then it ended up not working out between us. well my best friend (katrina) said she liked him and went after him and now they're going out. there has been so much drama between usd on top of that they ditched me today and lately she has been constantly lying to me. i've already tried talking to them. i don't know what else to do other than drop both friends. any suggestions??
I find your question a little confusing- how'd you mean "they ditched you today"? Did you guys have plans and they blew you off or what? Anyway, the whole situation sounds awkward, as if they have slight guilt issues and are playing up because of them. I think that the best thing you can do is to search out new friends, and let your friendship with those two slide. Believe me, if they value you, they will try to resolve it.
On this latter point, a word of warning. If Kyle tries to go back out with you at any point DON'T DO IT. It wouldn't be worth the extra drama(which can seem like fun ,but isn.t really, just wearing). Neither of them are, ultimately, worth your friendship, perhaps especially not Katrina. Real best friends don't behave like that to each other. Best of wishes, lol lucretiaxx.
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my boyfriend tells me he loves me. but he never calls me... he says he's shy ...but, he is sooo not shy. what should i do?
Ultimatum him. Sorry to be brutal, but there it is. A boy who can't bother to call isn't worth your time and effort. Several explanations may, of course, be possible, but i agree with you that shyness isn't one of them. He could be playing hard to get(yawn)or just be worried about his phone bill(in which case texting may be an acceptable substitute as long as he initiates just as often as you do.) See how it goes , and whether he demonstrates the love of which he speaks in other areas of the relationship. Hope that helped, Lucretia x.
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Alright. I like this guy. Today he told me that he wanted a gf. we are pretty good friends. I wanna tell him how i feel about him. Any suggestions on how i should approach him?
~*Michele~*
Oh, tricky one. Is he hinting that he wants you two to be more than friends, or not? I think you should approach him, but with caution, as it's just possible that he's confiding in you just as a friend and hasn't thought of you in a romantic light. Which isn' to say that he never will, or that a nudge in the right direction isn't a good idea.
I'm probabably not the best person to be advising you, weary as I am of always initiating realtionships and having them not work out. But go for it, ask him to the cinema and , when you feel the mood is right, lay a hand gently on his arm and stroke it, or slip your hand into his. Something like that. Word of warning- nothing more unpleasant or embarrasing than leaning forward to kiss s/o who then doesn't respond, so be sure of your ground before you attempt to lock lips. Best of luck, let me know how it went Lucretia xx.
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What are ways to boost my self-esteem?
Megan's answer is good, but IMHO a bit too compartmentalising. I think that the only way to increase self esteem is to forget yourself. Don't concentrate on YOU, even the good parts. That's limiting ,and leads to self obsession which is depressing for both oneself and others.
I speak from bitter experience: up until fairly recently, I had an incredibly low physical self esteem, which I would inflict constantly on others who tried to help, (but didn't) by praising my looks. The trouble with that sort of praise is it opens up a need, a sort of black hole of yearning which will never be satisfied. The only way to self satisfaction is through independence, and the only way to independence is, oddly, through taking an interest in anything and everything and not worrying about yourself too much.
A great book to dip into is The Bitch Rules by Elizabeth Wurtzel(don't get Bitch,which is confusing and heavy going). Wurtzel has, as you probably know, battled with depression and low self esteem and all the rest, and the aforemetioned book is a witty yet hearfelt poem, if you like, to such a life. The best of luck and feel free to ask a personal question to my column should you wish.lol Lucretiaxx.
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Okay I made the dance team for my school.I'm usally fine performing in front of people.But i just found out that like 8 people from our football team likes me.I like one of them a lot.I'm just afraid that i'm going to mess up in front of them when i'm performing in front of the whole school.So what should i do to help me get over it?Our first game is this wednesday.Help!!please!!I'm 13 female in 8th grade if that helps any bit.
~Kristy~
8 people from the team? Blimey! You must be either very hot, very rich or you're deluded.....
But to be serious, just negatively visualise. Imagine that instead of chunky but innoccuous footballers, you're being watched by evil despots who will drop you in boiling oil if you don't perform to a certain standard. Think salome and the seven veils and you'll be allright. Good luck! Lucretia x
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Ok, my girlfriend is on the Flagline at her school, so she has to be at all of the games on friday. I usually see her on fridays and saturdays. I'm a guy, and she's the first girl I've ever been, lets say, sexually involved with. And friday's I want to do 'stuff' (stuff being seuxal activities) but she says she's too tired. I know she likes to do it, because every time we do, I please her (and I know this for a fact)I guess I just don't understand how you can be too 'tired'. I could work all day and still have more than enough energy to do 'stuff'. Sometimes we do 'stuff' saturdays, but it makes me mad when she's too tired. I just get frustrated and feel like she doesn't love me. I don't understand why I get mad, it seems like a perfectly good excuse. Please help me understand this. Thank you.
Ok i think there are two issues here: one, your burgeoning sexuality(and its attendant insecurity) and two, your communication with your girlfriend. I really hate to generalise, but it is,I believe,a proven fact that guys your age are more highly sexed than girls of the same age. So it's quite natural that she should feel sheer physical exhaustion at the prospect of endless ,ahem "stuff" (why not just say making out......)
None of this, however, touches on what I believe and you suspect to be the real issue, which is "how much does she love me" I'll tell tou this much- girls are tricky. We stand convicted! Guys are too sexually demanding, we withdraw. Not demanding enough, we write them off as losers. Having said that, there is a golden mean, a perfect level of sexual communication, which with a little effort, you can attain. LISTEN TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND. If she says she is too tired, withdraw a little. Hold off, let her come find you if she horny. And if she just isn't, well, the time may come when you should go your seperate ways. Sorry for the long-winded answer, hope i helped, Lucretia xx.
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Heyy. I'm Jamie and im 14/f
Okay my best friend is really annoying me lately. She doesnt tell me anything! She likes some one and told everyone but me and im one of her best friends! I got so mad at her because seems like she doesnt trust me but anyway shes also acting conceded like all these guys like her so everyday she'll talk to me online and be like so and so likes me and im like I dont care cause she constantly brags about it. I'm not jealous it's just soo annoying! To make it worse the one person I like likes her. I'll be like ur so lucky the one person I like likes you and she'll be like haha or laugh or something. She also says that she doesn't like this one girl Ashley that doesn't like me but she talks to her on the phone like almost every nite and went to her house a week ago! How two-faced is that!? What should I do!? Please don't say talk to her because that never works.Thanks!
I hate to say it, but it seems as if you've already answered your own question. Such behaviour as you've described is anything but friendly, and you deserve more than that from someone you value and consider to be close to you.
I speak from experience: I'm twenty-one and I came very close to completely abandoning my best friend after she displayed similar traits to yours(minus an Ashley equivalent). In our case, she was devestated when I told her and made a real effort to change- which might just be the difference between twenty-one and fourteen. Having said that, I am not sure you shouldn't talk to your friend, even if only to let her know, as you leave the friendship, how much she annoyed you. Good luck, Lucretia xx.
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well there is this guy who i've liked for like 2 years and we're like friends and all. i went out with him and he broke my heart but i still like him and like a week ago i went over to his house and in the end we were all kissing. he is such a good guy if you knew him you would fall in love. well ever sense then we haven't talked alot but i mean we do ...do u think it means he doesn't wanna be with me? he called me 2 day but i was at volleyball ... do u think im looking too much into it ? what do you suggest that i do?
help ..i'd really appreciate it
My advice would be to go carefully, as chances are he knows full well that you still feel involved. People have a sixth sense for that sort of thing, and can abuse it, not perhaps consciously meaning any harm.
Having said that, I don't think that you should write him off, if as you say he is a good guy then he will not deliberately hurt you- he might well be having a change of heart. Burt be sure to cultivate outside interests, insofar as you can- not only will that make you stronger, should he not be interested, it will make him see you in another light and actually strenghten the relationship, however it might turn out. Good luck!
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there is this guy who i've liked for like 2 years and we're like friends and all. and like a week ago i went over to his house and e were just talkig and then in the end i gave him a hug good bye and he kissed me2 time he is so sweet to me he supports me in everything i do. and he's deffinetly not a player well ever sense then we haven't talked alot but i mean we do like he called me the other day but i wasnt home...do u think it means he doesn't wanna be with me? do u think im looking too much into it ? what do you think i should do?
please help me out
Go for it. He clearly likes you. But don't make it too easy for him, don't be all over him or he might lose interest. Guys are odd that way- give them too much of what they want and they no longer want it. having said that, don't play too hard to get. noone likes a tease and games are a bit tedious and boring. good luck!
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I want to have pizza. The question is, should I have pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, or pizza at suppertime? Now that pizza's on a bagel, I can have pizza anytime, but I'm just not sure when to have it. Kthx.
Have you thought about pizza in the jacuzzi? Just a suggestion.......lol lucretia.
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My parents don't like colored people but i have a lot of colored friends that are guys. I think i'm starting to like one of them but i can't help it and i think he likes me. I've been going to all his footbell games and everything like that. but if my parents found out that we liked each other i would get in a lot of trouble ( and right now isn't a good time for that ). I asked them why they are like that and they said they knew some bad ones when they were growing up..and that a lot of colored people are like that to white people...but i said the black people that live around us had to get used to it and my parents should to but i don't think it worked. Would some one PLEASE help me?!?! Thank You So Much If You Can Help Me!
Firstly, I would like to congratulate you for even thinking about taking a stand against your parents- you sound a very independent minded young lady. So many people are just brainwashed into their parents' way of thinking- so if you have liberal parents, you'll be a liberal, redneck parents, you'll be a redneck(lol).....But you're not...
So, how to tackle?You don't say how old you are, but I would guess somewhere in the early to mid teens? Dating at that age, finding a decent guy, is difficult enough without parental objection to irrelevancies such as race. I really don't know how to advise you, except to say that if you like this boy, by all means go on seeing him, on the sly if necessary. Better yet, of course, would be to openly defy your parents, but I can quite see that you wouldn't want to do that. Parents are so all powerful when we are young. Just stand your ground and keep your friendship with this boy, whatever else may develop. Good wishes, Lucretiaxx.
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ok well in the music industry, i've noticed there's not a lot of asians..like chinese or japanese or anything at ALL. like there's plenty of blacks, and some hispanics, and even some indians...but no like chinese or anything. it's not that there's not a lot in america, there is..but how come they're not in the music business?? is this racism or what??? sorry but i find it sort of odd, what do you guys think??
I completely agree, I think it's a shame that there's not more integration. Time for my plug! check out Miyuki Furtado (no relation to Nelly) of the brilliant Rogers Sisters(purely evil, three fingers). He is , I believe Hawaian/Japanese. I think it's a limiting argument to say that Orientals are better and happier doing classical music. You should just go for what you want.
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I am 5'4" and weigh 145 lbs, which makes me a little on the chunky side. I used to have a hard and sexy body and weighted 110 lbs. I no longer wear swimsuits or dress in tight, sexy clothing. I recently married my fiancee of 3.5 years, he met me when I was the sexy me. I have been at this weight for 2 years and struggling to lose the pounds. He has never put me down for being fat but says that I should lose weight for health reasons. Do you guys think he might lose interest in my body soon? I'm 22 and he's 24. How much can a guy take of his girlfriend being fat? And if I do lose the weight, do you guys think he will go back to the place where he wants to jump my bones again? Will he see the difference and act accordingly? What's your opinion?
I have hardly anything to add to the excellent advice already given by The Old One, except that Iwould strongly advise against any kind of 'Miracle Diet', even a hospital supervised one. Your husband sounds like a good guy- I'm sure he's just responding to your insecurity when he cites your health- really, he would like to tell you that nothing is wrong at all, but knows you would not take that answer at face value. Believe in yourself, take excercise, and trust in his love for you at whatever weight you happen to be. Love and good wishes, Lucretia.
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what are some good ways to bring up a past relationship when talking to your ex??
like for example if i want tot ell him that i still have feelings for hima nd that i miss him??..do i come out and just say it or what??
Just take the temperature of the conversation, try to get a feel for whether or not he's into you. Also, never lose sight of how you feel about him, allow yourself some space to enjoy life apart from him and don't dwell on it too much. That way, you're in a win/win situation; you get to enjoy your independent life, AND he's more likely to be interested, as everyone likes a person with a mind of their own. Best of luck, Lucretia.
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