about

Oh, don't worry, he totally likes you. In fact, he likes you so much that he's going to propose to you (even if you're only thirteen) and you guys are going to get married, and live together happily ever after forever and always and have ten children in the country with the best jobs ever until you die at an old age together in your sleep!

If you know that's not how life works, and you want some real advice, you have my undivided attention. Ask me anything, and I'll try and figure it out for you (unless it has anything to do with geometry).

advice

Okay so I met this guy (we are both 16) and we hit it off. spent like 10 hours together he was totally flirting holding hands cuddling and he would just stare at me and would always sit next to me and he tried to kiss me and such.. (it was a church retreat. We were helpers lol for the little kids) so at the end of the night when its time to leave he just left no good bye and didn’t ask for a number or anything! what does that mean? What happened?

It could mean a variety of different things. I had something of the sort happen to me (except it was at a family reunion, and it was with my cousin's best friend)... well, in my case, the guy ended up asking me out 2 weeks later... but he got my phone number and stuff from my cousin a couple days after we met. (He was apparently afraid to ask me for my phone number....)

I can't really say what happened.. you said he left without a goodbye, which makes it sound like he was in a hurry to get somewhere...

If this guy really wants to get back in contact with you, he'll at least try. If not, well... he's probably just not that interested. Some guys are just jerks, and unfortunately, we have to live with that. Is there another retreat coming up anytime soon? If so, go to it. And maybe you could ask for his number this time...

[view]

ok... so i've liked this guy for like 2 years. he is one of my bff's and his sister is too. I don't know if I like him anymore, but i think i might like this guy in my class. We talk alot and anyway... the other night.. our youth leader was giving us a devotion on waiting for the right guy/ knowing he's the one and i know im too young, but which one do I love? That night I had a dream about i got married to My bffs brother and then the guy in my class was all "I love you" after I married the one guy and I started to cry because i felt bad... what does this mean? Which one do I like?

Maybe you're getting sick of waiting for the one best friend to make a move... and that's why you're not sure if you like him anymore. The guy in your class, well, you said you talk to him a lot, so it's possible you could like him too. I don't think you should worry about falling in love with either of these guys... yet.

Dreams are our subconcious thoughts pieced together, as stated by Sigmeund Freud in a more elegant fashion. But, most of the time, they mean nothing. I don't know which one you truly like, but which one do you like more? It sounds like the guy in your class... maybe you should tell him how you feel?

[view]

ok i really like this kid, but i dont know if he likes me, but he acts like he does..my friend told him i liked him and he said oh ok? what should i do?

There's not much you can do... some guys just won't like you. And it's really confusing when they act like they do!! But that's just some guys version of being nice/friendly/gentlemanly or whatever. I'd try to move on, and get over him.. because.. mean as this sounds... why waste your time?

K... well...I came up with an idea::

ask him who he likes.

[view]

ok, this is going to be really embarasing. here i go: school has all sorts of idiots. u can get rid of them by cussing, punching, guestures, tattletalling. there is this one kid who wont stop bothering me. it started when he would stare really hard at me in sex ed. than he started whipping his head to look at me when the teacher talked about kissing and sex. a few weeks ago, he touched my ass, and he tries to everyday in the hallway and health class. if anyone finds out i will be so embaresed. if bf finds out, ill go insane, if he finds out i told on him, im dead. i didnt mind him looking at me that much.....but touching, squeezing, pinching, running hand down my ass is too much. i hate him, and he never even said a word to me. i really need help getting rid of him, please help me! PS: i am 13 f.

I would beat up the little creep. Though that may not be the best answer... I would feel more in control. The right thing to do, though, would be to rat him out to a guidance counselor, and ask to remain anonymous. They'll most likely suspend him, and if he tries it again, he could be expelled.

I don't know why everyone thinks it's so embarassing to tell someone that a guy is doing something that's wrong to you. It's not like everyone's going to shun you. It's not like you led him on. He, among many other men, deserve to be punished. So punish him!!

[view]

My boyfriend and I went out for six months, we were inseperable. Before that we had been best friends for little less then a year. We were so close, always with each other. He would always say to me "I love you. Someday we'll get married, we can be forever. Run away. Just you and me" he's romantic like that, but the I love you really stuck with me. Only a few weeks after he dumped me (He didn't even tell me why) He has a new girlfriend. His girlfriend always smiles at me when I walk by her in the halls, that bothers me so much. She's always giving me looks if I look at my ex. I like him so much, and I feel my heart drop to the ground whenever I see him! I've noticed though, he watches me. Whenever I walk by, or I'm talking with another guy- he's watching me. He says we can be friends, but he blocked me online and won't return my emails. I'm completely heartbroke and crushed,I just don't know what to do.
I'm 14 by the way

Thanks


Ex-boyfriends are difficult... I've had enough of them, I should know. And it's even harder when you see them with another girl. But the only thing you should do in this situation is move on. I mean, 1 of my ex-boyfriends was like my best friend.. and there was a really harsh break up. And now we don't talk at all.. though I can still catch him looking at me. We dated for like a year and a half.. and then it was just over. It hurt so bad, and it took me 2 years to get totally over it.

There's only one way to seriously get over a guy. And that's to realize there's more to life, and get busy (not like that!). You'll find someone else, just like he did... and then you'll totally forget about all of the feelings for your ex. As for the girlfriend... the only real thing you can do is ignore her (or, if you feel like it, annoy her)... break ups are rough. The only thing you can do, is to not do anything you're going to regret later.

[view]

ok so I have this friend who I can't stand. (she isn't really my friend) She is so screwed up and I can't stand her. 1. She is a patheloical lier and 2. She snjoys screwing peoples lives up. So anyway my best friend recently started dating her and I can't fiure out why. She's mean, ugly, dramatic and really hurts people. No one likes her. So we were at a concert and he had his arm around me and I turn around and he was making out with her! How do I tell him how I feel about their relationship? Thanks. 14/f

Ok.. it kind of sounds like you like your best friend.. but that's just my opinion.

First off, I wouldn't say anything about not liking the relationship. That might get your best friend pissed off at you. I mean, you can have an opinion and all.. but don't share it unless he asks you to. This is his relationship, and even though you care about him... he cares about this girl for some reason, and it wouldn't be cool to go and and all-out insult her... I wouldn't do it, but the best way to talk to him about it is to get around to it casually. And don't say she's mean or ugly or anything like that...

[view]

how do you know if a girl is lying to you like when you ask them out and they say something. How do you know if they are telling the truth or lying to make you feel better??

Unless the girl is an amazing actress, if she's lying to you, then most likely whatever she said will sound a little off, or practiced.

When girls get asked out...if they say no, usually, they will give you a reason (which some girls make up, or steal from someone else)... then they will say you're a nice guy and that they're sorry. This is a difficult thing to do.. as most girls seriously don't want to hurt your feelings. So, some will lie. It really depends more on the type of girl and the circumstances... so I don't know if I really helped you..

[view]

I was just curious to know if it was wierd that Im in 8th grade and have never had a first kiss? Part of it is that I am too nervous but I just wanted to know...ThAnX I RaTe HiGh!! Maddie 15/f

No!! A couple of my friends in highschool (even the juniors) haven't had a boyfriend yet OR a first kiss. Some people are just not very interested in it. And some are fickle, and waiting for the right guy. Some just never have, but really want to kiss someone...

I remember I was nervous when I had my first kiss (especially since I was the one to make the move) and it was pretty embarassing (since I couldn't REACH him because I was so short... even on my toes...) but he got it and he bent down to kiss me. Anyway, the point is most guys want to be kissed... just like most girls. So if you have a boyfriend, make your move!!

[view]

I usually don't have much trouble with my love life but I honestly don't know what to do right now.

The beginning of this year, this guy in my Physics class, Mark, and I got really close. We were both falling for each other. Well, we kept getting mad at each other for stupid reason and we're both stubborn. So, stuff happened and we never dated.

About a month after we got over each other, he gets a girlfriend. This girl is one of my good friends. I was extremely happy for them because they make just about the cutest couple ever.

After they're one month, he and I started getting close again. We were still friend but we were starting to flirt and play around more (not sexually but like tickling each other and cute things like that). At first I thought it was harmless. It probably is harmless but he's starting to act like he did when we had a thing for each other. And well, I think my feeling for him might be coming back also.

I feel terrible because I am such good friends with his girlfriend and I'd never want to hurt her. I think she might have an idea about Mark and me because on Saturday, she tried to set me up with a friend of hers. We double dated but Mark and I were paying more attention to each other more than the other 2.

Any advice on what I should do?

Even if you and Mark do have a thing for each other... well he has a girlfriend. And even though you may have a good time with him... guess who else could be too? His girlfriend.

If you don't want to hurt her, then don't hurt her! Just be friends with Mark until they break up(though that sounds kind of mean...). When/if they break up you can go for him... if you still want him by that point. And it'd probably be a good idea to ask her if it's ok that you like him.. It's not fair to steal him from her. I mean, how would you like it if she did that to you? Be a good friend... it's not worth losing your friendship with her over one guy.


Especially a guy you had a chance to get with before, and rememeber, you guys had problems when you liked each other! They could/usually do come back..

[view]

I know this is long but please don't skip it. Ok, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 3 years and we've known each other for 4. I just had a baby by him. He's willing to help and he's been trying but the problem is my parents. They are extremely religious and they said that he could have nothing to do with the baby. I was 16 at the time I got pregnant and he was 20. I am now almost 18 and he's 23. My parents said that if he got involved at all with Christian, our son, then they would have him arrested for rape. They said that the only way he can get involved is if he comes and asks for "my hand in marriage" We're not in love though and it's not right to marry someone just because your parents want you to. We know that we made a mistake but we are trying to be responsible about it. But my parents are making it difficult. My father is always at work and my mom is sick now so things are tough around here. I wanted to call my bf and see if he could take christian until things got better or maybe we could work something out but my dad flipped out and said that if i did he would have him arrested. They also took my keys and I had to listen to a lecture about jesus to get them back. They said that they would rather put Christian up for adoption than have him go to his father. My question is can my bf get arrested for rape even though it was a while ago and I dont' want him to be? And also if they put him up for adoption wouldn't his father get rights to him anyways?

Please help me

*will rate high*

Ok. Well, you guys only have a 4 year difference in age, so it couldn't really be considered rape. The only problem is that he was 20, which means that he was an adult, and you were 16, which means that you were a minor. But you did it willingly, so I don't think that would be rape.

You should tell your parents what you just wrote there. That you realized it was a mistake, and you and your boyfriend are trying to be responsible... but you're just not in love. Your parents shouldn't be putting pressure on you like that... you're 18 now, and they really have no say over your life. Just remember, they have the ability to kick you out! So be careful.

If things are hard for you, then you should be able to have your boyfriend there to take care of your son! I would just let my boyfriend take care of and see the kid for a while.. no matter what my parents said. And even if they decided to try to put Christian up for adoption, they couldn't unless you all went to court and gave them legal gaurdianship... which doesn't sound like something you are planning on doing, so really, your parents can't do anything. They just want you to think they can.

[view]

Im 16 years old and i just recently started dating a guy that i have known all my life since like the 6th grade and we are juniors now and never before have we looked at ecah other in the way of i like you but through some friends we started dating and we are happy. i mean i say that and we have only been together about a week. so as for right now we are happy. but hes really shy and i am really not shy. so when it comes to him kissing me and things like that he doesnt know what to do but i know he wants to because of the way he acts and our friends have told me this but hes just to shy to make the frist move hes just to shy. and he hasnt even held my hand or put his arm around me or anything and one of my other firends told me to spend more time together so we can be more comfortable around each other and we will hang out this weekend and we will just see what happends but if any one has any advice please tell me!!

heather
16 female
texas

I know what it's like to date a shy guy... they are so complicated! They want to do something.. but they just won't.. so frustrating... Ok. I'm done complaining.

Sometimes, you just have to make the first move to get them to loosen up and relax. It's a lot easier for guys to do something if they know you want to... I know a lot of girls don't like to make the first move, but with a shy person, you usually have to. Anyhow, it's not as bad as it sounds!! Usually, they'll do something totally amazing to make up for it..

[view]

what happens if you really like someone and u think they like you too but they wont admit it and all they ever wanna talk about is getting the good stuff and its not like i dont wanna give it to him its just that im afraid if i give it to him he wont wanna talk to me anymore what if thats the only reason he pretends to like me

If he doesn't admit to his feelings (if you're right, and he does have feelings for you), then that's not exactly a great sign.. it means he's embarassed of liking you.

Some guys are just perverted. You should watch out for yourself... I mean, this guy doesn't sound like he likes you for your personality or anything. As for the whole sleeping with him or whatever.. I wouldn't do it. This guy sounds a little too interested in 'getting some'. But that's your decision.

[view]

I met a boy at a battle of the bands 2 months ago. We didn't really talk then, but he was really cute. Recently I found his MySpace & LiveJournal and he accepted my add. He told me I looked familiar and the conversation just went from there. He told me my picture was 'insanely hot' and it was like he was lithium and I was chlorine, if you know what I mean..okay I'm a nerd.

But anyways, my favorite song of all time, he can play on the guitar. He owns a leather jacket. He likes the Libertines and numerous other bands I adore as well. He LIVES for music and is really intelligent and random, just like me. We began talking about how we'd live together in a one room apartment with a big sofa, drinking and smoking and sleeping to pass time and prowling the nyc scene at night and living off cheese and coffee and making beautiful art together....it was intense. He told me out of the blue he thought I was really cute.

Now I have never had this happen. He is my dream guy and he wants to hang out or go any rock show I say. It might actually work out for once with a guy, and believe me, I'm not lucky. My question is...where do I go from here? And what do I do when I finally hang out with him?

Well, he's interested in you if he wants to hang out with you, so just be yourself!! (Go to the rock show!!!)

Hm... if you want to go for the extreme, kiss him during the concert or whatever.... Or you can tell him you like him... or something like that (though talking is hard when the music is really loud... like it ususally is...)

To me, it sounds like he likes you back, and that will work out really well if he's your dream guy... so tell him you like him! you know you want to!

[view]

Sorry for asking so much.. but You dont have to be 18 to buy a test at a local drug store or so right?

Don't be sorry!! Why do you think I got an advice column? lol.

Wellll... you don't have to be 18 to buy condoms, so I'd guess that you don't have to be 18 to buy a pregnancy test. And even if you did, I doubt anyone would try to stop you.

And if they do, you can always get tested by a doctor.

[view]

I have officially met the love of my life.He treats me better than anyone ive ever known. he says he wants to take care of me for the rest of my life, and hes proven that in many ways. there are only two problems: 1. he has a girl living with him- they used to go out, but now theyre just sharing living quarters.hes moving soon, and shes not coming with.2.(the main issue, at hand)there is about 15 or 16 years between us, and i should probably mention that i am defintely not 18. its so hard to keep this a secret and lie to everyone around me, i hate it, but i love him so much. PLEASE give me an honest opinion on how you, personally would handle my situation. thanx for any advice you can give.

As you are just a teenager (I hope you're that old, anyway) it is kind of doubtful that he is the love of your life.. I mean he could be, but your tastes/personality changes as you get older... now that I've said that...

Age IS important in this case, because if you are under 18 it is illegal for the two of you to be dating (at least in some states...) And just the fact that he lives with another girl... I wouldn't trust him, sorry to say.

Personally, I wouldn't even be dating this guy in the first place... not only is it illegal, but he lives with another girl, and you have to lie to so many people...if you hate what you're doing, you probably shouldn't be with him. Even if you do love him. And even if this doesn't apply to this guy, I have to say it.. most guys who date teenagers are just looking for sex. So please, be careful!

[view]

Ok.. well first of all my younger brother has a mental disability called Autism. I try rally hard to be nice to him and understand him but sometimes he drives me crazy! But my older sister just doesnt understand him AT ALL and doesnt try to help him and is always mean to him. I try to talk to her but shes just mean to me too... What should i do?

Either get your parents to talk to your sister... or tell her off yourself. Just because he has a disibility doesn't mean he's not human... doesn't she realize that? I mean, why would you be mean to your own brother? Does she have no respect for her family?! What the heck is so hard for her that she feels she has THE RIGHT to treat him that way!?!? If she doesn't listen to either of you, just treat her like she treats him... or beat the crap out of her!!!

... This isn't the usual type of question I answer, but it pissed me off that your sister could be such a jerk! (no offense)

[view]

If i want an at home pregnancy test, should I just wait a week.. Like Next tuesday around 9 to be safe because it happened yesterday ( tuesday ) around 5-8 ?

Ok... well I looked it up. So this is what I've gathered from it (This is a regular at-home pregnancy test):

The accuracy of the test is more.. well, accurate... when the test is done one week after a missed period.

If you have had unprotected intercourse within the previous two weeks, a test result may not be reliable yet. Use a consistent method of birth control and wait at least two weeks before doing a test.

The home pregnancy test is over 99% accurate.

I got all this from: http://www.mckinley.uiuc.edu/health-info/tests/homepregtest.htm

Four days after conception, the fertilized egg begins to produce a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin... this hormone allows your body to know whether or not it is pregnant. So I wouldn't try anything right away... it would be a waste of money.

Human chorionic gonadutropin (hCG) can be detected in your blood first and shortly thereafter in your urine. Most tests can detect pregnancy as early as the first day of your missed period (about 14 days after conception) or earlier.

If you do a home pregnancy test four to seven days after your missed period, it will be positive 95 percent of the time (assuming you are pregnant).

The major drawback with home tests is that when done in the early days of pregnancy, sometimes it will indicate you’re not pregnant, when in fact you are.

At home pregnancy tests are not designed to take the place of a consultation with your doctor. They should be considered screening tests only. If your test result is negative, but your period is late and you have symptoms of pregnancy, consult your health care provider.

Blood tests are very accurate and can detect the presence of hCG as early as one week after conception.

[view]

The other night , well day actually Me and my 'boy' were just Hanging out, right? Well yes i am young, A minor ( too young for kids either way ) .. Well yeah we hadnt seen eachother in forever .. So yeah we hung out n stuff yeahh.. Then we ended up having..sex & I left blah well Later on, His father ( yess.. can you say Ahh? ) he walked in the room saying he smelt sex & Picked one of the.. four condoms up and realized it was broken, This was around 5-8 or so.. on a Tuesday night, so I'm gona get tested to be safe ( i guess, right thing to do right? ) on Tuesday.. night probably like 9. Well, Do yall think its better to have a plan what to do before I find out, and we need to make one ? Lately alls weve gotten at is, "Shit were gona be even more fucked" , Or should we just worry about it later? Also, He is going to be 18 next year, And I will still be a minor, I am NOT bragging at all I just want help, But we both have very wealthy families.. Not sure how this happened, with bright futures, and How to break it to them? His father knows ones broken though, Whats the best thing to do here? Its kinda crazy, Kinda hard to sleep and eat, with this decision totally on my own.

You should always have a plan when this kind of stuff happens. I personally have no experience with sex... but my sister (and some girls I know) have gotten pregnant as minors. So hopefully I can help you out here...

First thing you should do-- Get tested for STDs. Like, just in case, you know... that way, at least you'll know you if have them, and some STDs will go away with treatment. Possibly your doctor could test you? If not, call and ask for recommendations. Heck, even go and ask for reccomendations. Your parents still don't have to know at this point (even if it is the right thing to tell them).. you can just tell them you feel sick, then ask for some privacy with your doctor.

Second-- Wait.. if your period is late, that's when you're in trouble. Just because a condom broke doesn't mean that you'll automatically get pregnant. But if your period is late... it's a sign... get tested for a pregnancy. (Or an early pregnancy, if you don't want to wait that long) Get an at-home pregnancy test from a drug-store. Get several, if you want to. (Hey, you have money to spend!).. you can even go to a doctor and ask them if it seems like you're pregnant.

Now, if you are pregnant, you should try to eat and sleep, for your child's sake. And tell your parents. There is a good chance that they will support you, even if they'll be dissapointed... Decide whether or not to have an abortion, set up an adoption or even keep the child... seek help from a doctor, and they'll tell you what to do/not to do if you decide to go through with the pregnancy. Go to a psychologist if you are really having trouble with the whole sleeping and eating thing.. sometimes they can help. Even go to a regular doctor and ask them for a prescription (TELL THEM THERE IS A POSSIBILITY OF PREGNANCY!!)

To prevent this kind of thing from happening again, I would suggest birth control pills perscribed by a doctor... there are other methods, like having your tubes tied, or something along those lines, but I find them a little scary and too permanent. I hope I helped!!

[view]

well ive had a fwb for awhile and its been going pretty good up until now .. hes my best friends ex from a while ago and she doesnt have a problem with it .. but me and him dont really get along anymore so weve decided to stop. the problem is now i like my other best friends ex boyfriend and i dont know if i should tell her or not because im afraid she'll be mad. She told me she thought it was wrong of me to hook up with our other friends ex so im scared shell think its wrong to go out with her ex. i really like him and she told me she noticed me flirting with him lately but i dont know if she cares because she doesnt like him anymore .. i don't know if i should just ignore my feelings or let her know the truth? does anyone know what i should do?

You should tell her how you feel about her ex.. and ask her if she's okay with it... why lose a friend over a guy? That's just stupid.

I hate to say this, but chances are she's not going to be okay with it... in that case, I'd personally just ignore my feelings... I don't think it's right to date my friend's ex-boyfriends... you could either do that, or go out with him anyway... but you could lose her as a friend that way. Anyhow, she might suprise you, and say that it is okay.

Also, I wouldn't exactly count your chickens before they hatch... or whatever... he might not want to go out with you. You might want to find out how he feels about you before you tell your friend about how you feel.

[view]

My b/f thinks im cheating on him... but his friends are telling me he is the 1 that is going around grabbing other girls butts! should i believe them and break up with him... or should i just go on pretending like i don't notice?

Confront him with this information you've gotten from his friends... then hire a P.I. to follow him around school... lol I'm kidding about that part, unless you seriously want to do that.

Or, you could always ask his friends who he's supposedly cheating on you with... then ask the girl, or ask your boyfriend. Or ask both. When you're done talking to all of them, your intstincts should tell you what to do.

Why act like you don't notice?! You deserve a guy who will at least be faithful to you! Where's the self-esteem!?

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker