I usually don't have much trouble with my love life but I honestly don't know what to do right now.
The beginning of this year, this guy in my Physics class, Mark, and I got really close. We were both falling for each other. Well, we kept getting mad at each other for stupid reason and we're both stubborn. So, stuff happened and we never dated.
About a month after we got over each other, he gets a girlfriend. This girl is one of my good friends. I was extremely happy for them because they make just about the cutest couple ever.
After they're one month, he and I started getting close again. We were still friend but we were starting to flirt and play around more (not sexually but like tickling each other and cute things like that). At first I thought it was harmless. It probably is harmless but he's starting to act like he did when we had a thing for each other. And well, I think my feeling for him might be coming back also.
I feel terrible because I am such good friends with his girlfriend and I'd never want to hurt her. I think she might have an idea about Mark and me because on Saturday, she tried to set me up with a friend of hers. We double dated but Mark and I were paying more attention to each other more than the other 2.
Any advice on what I should do?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? CameronASTB answered Sunday May 15 2005, 1:35 pm: hmmm... well, since your such good friends with her then maby you schould lay off, & maby date this other guy & try & ignore Mark for teh time beeing, & once Mark & your friend break up, see what Mark dose, & if he think he wants to go otu with you, ask your friend how she would feel, & if its ok, then go with Mark, but if its not, don't runen you & your friend's friend-ship, & you & Mark can just be friends
secretcrushx3 answered Friday May 13 2005, 7:02 pm: alright well there really isnt a way around hurting your friend but if shes starting to suspect it wait until she says something to you and then tell her you guys were playng around and everything else. If she's really your friend she will belive you and go and ask Mark about it and talk to him. [ secretcrushx3's advice column | Ask secretcrushx3 A Question ]
Siren_Cytherea answered Friday May 13 2005, 6:40 pm: Well, in your shoes, I think I'd talk to Mark a bit. Tell him what you're feeling, and what you're seeing and ask him what's going on. Remind him that he has a girlfriend, and she happens to be one of your good friends.
I know you may not want it to stop, but you might want to fix this situation by telling him that all the flirting and teasing is going to have to stop.
Ask him what he wants to do - break up with her? If he doesn't (chances are this will be a no), then he's gotta stop flirting with YOU. He should be flirting with his girlfriend.
But then, you have to ask yourself what's more important to you? Hurting your friend and having fun flirting with Mark or stopping the flirting and keeping both friends?
I've had a similar situation, in the sense that my guyfriends still try to flirt with me and I've had my boyfriend for 1.5 years. I just tell them to back off, and remind them that I am indeed taken.
Mark, it seems, doesn't want you to back off. Do you want him to back off?
The first thing to do is to decide what you really want. If Mark is what you really want, and he's more important than your friend to you, then by all means, continue flirting.
If not, let him know he's gotta back off, and suggest that he focus all his flirting energy on his girlfriend.
Once you decide what you want, talk to him and speak your mind because as much as we'd like guys to be able to, they can't read minds. This is why we have to open our mouths and speak.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =) [ Siren_Cytherea's advice column | Ask Siren_Cytherea A Question ]
i_left_my_heart_in_ohio answered Friday May 13 2005, 5:31 pm: okay! i think that u and mark need to have a looooooonnnggg talk with each other. you have to decide which one you want he cannot have both. you should never hide your feelings i fyou honestly like him and he does u and it is meant to be then it will happen on its own. but dont rush it wait for him to decide. [ i_left_my_heart_in_ohio's advice column | Ask i_left_my_heart_in_ohio A Question ]
iSLAND_iNTHE_SUNx0 answered Friday May 13 2005, 5:30 pm: Well, your friend and Mark are going out, so he's a bit off limits. Its cool to have a friend like that, that'll make you happy and laugh, but you have to draw the line, otherwise things will happen between you and your friend. I'm sorry. In the meantime, try to find another guy that has the same interests as you and maybe you two can hang out sometime. Maybe even with Mark and your friend.
craazylau answered Friday May 13 2005, 4:57 pm: OK you're going to have to try really hard not to flirt with him. It sounds hard and it will be but it will be worth it in the end. You don't want to lose this girl as your friend and at the end of the day she hasn't done anything wrong as you know. Just try staying friendly towards him because ignoring him altogether will mean that things will never happen with you two as he is going to think that you have lost interest in him. If you stay as you are and carry on being nice to him (and not flirting!) there relatioship is bound to fizzle out. Mark isn't going to spend much longer with your friend if he's got feelings for you anyway. This way you won't hurt anybody and hopefully you'll get what you want! Good luck [ craazylau's advice column | Ask craazylau A Question ]
VanityScore answered Friday May 13 2005, 4:43 pm: Even if you and Mark do have a thing for each other... well he has a girlfriend. And even though you may have a good time with him... guess who else could be too? His girlfriend.
If you don't want to hurt her, then don't hurt her! Just be friends with Mark until they break up(though that sounds kind of mean...). When/if they break up you can go for him... if you still want him by that point. And it'd probably be a good idea to ask her if it's ok that you like him.. It's not fair to steal him from her. I mean, how would you like it if she did that to you? Be a good friend... it's not worth losing your friendship with her over one guy.
Especially a guy you had a chance to get with before, and rememeber, you guys had problems when you liked each other! They could/usually do come back.. [ VanityScore's advice column | Ask VanityScore A Question ]
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