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advice
hey, i used to be the former leader of my clique at school. then for some reason the people that i used to lead became retarded and started acting dumb. so i have a new group of people now, but everyone is pretty much individuals. like i wouldnt be able to boss them around. basically they wouldnt let me lead them. what should i do.
I have to say I think this question has to be a joke. It seems like you are like those stupid girls in "Mean Girls". People are not dumb if they don't want to be friends with a dictative, bossy person. If anything they are smart. No one wants to be friends with someone that tells them what to do, acts like they are better than them, and always wants their way. You seem extremely selfish and stuck on yourself. You act like people should be run by one person, and that people shouldn't be themselves. No one needs someone to "lead" them and tell them what to do all the time. If they wanted that, they would hang out with their parents and teachers all the time. You obviously are not a good friend, and this causes you to have trouble keeping friends. My best advice for you is to get therapy to find out why you are have such a bossy and abusive attitude towards people and independence in general.
ok. well me and this guy were going out for about 3 months and a day. he broke up with me for another girl. and that never worked out. we fought alot after the break up, and its been about 3 months since the breakup. we ignored eachother for like 3 weeks. and then he started talking to me ALOT. i still love him, and want him back. the last thing i said to him was "why do you keep IMing me, i thought you hated me" and he always contacts me, i never contact him. but now he doesnt anymore. he says he never thought about going back out with me, he told my best friend that. and he says in his myspace hes single and looking, but just wants to have fun, no serious relationship. i would love to makeout with him, and just have sexual fun with him, but not actually have sex. im 13 years old. and im not sure what to do, say, or make a move. i want to make him horny, and get him interested and everything but nothing too serious. i just want him back. any suggestions ?
Well first off, definently don't write him a note. Guys can be assholes and show what you wrote them to everyone, to try and embarrass you. Talking is far more effective.
And you should never try to get a guy back by getting physical with him. That will only makes things worse in the end. When you do that, he will look at you as a booty-call and will only use you to get what he wants and then leave you. You want him back, but the only way to get him back as a boyfriend, is to talk to him, and get to know eachother again. Don't fight with him. Fighting when you guys aren't even together can only make things worse. There is a point when no relationship is worth another chance. Yours is on the brink of that, so tread carefully. My last bf of 4 months dumped me for another girl, and two weeks later he came back to me, in tears, asking for me back. I gave him another chance because I loved him. But we talked alot before we got back, and did not mess around until we were together. You will end up getting hurt if you mess around with him. He will only see you as a person to fool around with, and not a girlfriend. You can't seduce a guy into loving and dating you. It just doesn't work. Someone always gets hurt. He obviously wants space right now, and also wants to stay single and mess around with other girls. Do you want to be some other girl? Absolutely not. You want to be his only girl. But when you mess around with him, I guarantee you won't be the only one he is messing around with. And I don't think you would like the idea of him being with other girls and with you too. So give him his space. Contact him once in a while, and see where that takes you. Whenever a guy breaks up with his girlfriend for another girl, he obviously wasn't happy. It doesn't make what he did right at all, but you and him I'm guessing fought alot when you guys were dating. So learn how to actually talk to eachother. And make him want you back. Just not in the way you are thinking. Make him sorry for what he did. I've been through the same thing so I know what you are going through. Plus you are 13. And 3 months may seem very long, which it is at your age, (My first relationship lasted a week lol), but compare three months to a year. Doesn't compare much does it? After 3 months, you are just getting used to eachother and getting to know eachother better. So don't try to make it go farther than that by immediately jumping in his pants. Talk to him. Get to know him. And figure out if he really is who you want. You might realize that he isn't. And if you do, you will be very relieved to know that you didn't do anything with him. I hope I helped you and if you every need anymore advice, don't hesitate to note my inbox for more help.
~Sherah
So I am friends with mostly girls. One of my closest guy friends' name is Ethan. He has a girlfriend. I think that he likes me, though, because he flirts with me a LOT and knows me really well.
I always wait for him leaving school. Today it was me, my friend Kathryn, and Ethan. Ethan just stopped, playfully kicked my butt, and then kept walking. Also, we always get in trouble for talking.
Recently, I got contacts, and since for a field trip, I wasn't at school Friday when I wore them, I asked my friend Kody to tell Ethan that I was wearing contacts. Today, I brought it up and he was so excited for me. Also, I was looking for a certain shirt to show school spirit, and he reminded me to get it.
In like December, we, among other friends (a group of 20) went skating. He was holding my hand to not get off-balance, but even after he got on balance, he was still skating with me and grabbed onto me if he was about to fall.
We have a ton of inside jokes, and also, we sit together when we have to partner up in the class that I have with him.
Some of these are things that consider friendly, and some I consider flirting. Do you guys think that he likes me?
Thanks. Oh, and to avoid a low rating, please type correctly!! Thanks again.
Oh, and we're both 15.
I absolutely agree with the girl below me. If a guy acts flirty and touchy when he is not around his girlfriend, then how is he really trustworthy at all? I am a quite flirty person myself and guys I have dated are too, so it's mostly how he flirts that determines his character. Some guys don't intentionally flirt like they are actually into you, but some do. From the way you described him, I think he just thinks of you as a really close friend. Guys don't consider some things they do as flirting. Like when he grabbed onto you when he was falling over... I don't think he was honestly attempting to flirt with you. I think he lost his balance, and grabbed the closest thing he could. And when he kicked you in the butt... Guys that like you GRAB your butt, they don't KICK it. My brother does that. I have many guy friends, that I would never date or intentionally flirt with, and we will hug and get into funny conversations, sit together in class, and also have tons of inside jokes with, but that does not mean we are flirting and like eachother. He obviously just thinks of you as a friend. And you two seem to have a really good friendship. So why ruin it by putting weird notions in your head? When you have a guy friend that has a girlfriend, you should absolutely not try flirting with him. The minute you find out he has a girl, it should be a red flag in your mind to back off, and keep the things you guys do strictly to a limit of friends-only. He has a girlfriend. Enough said. If you care about your guy's friendship, then make it clear to him that you think of him as a friend. I honestly don't think he realizes he might be accidentally flirting with you. If you think he crosses the line, then kindly call him out on it. Just realize that if you were his girlfriend, you might not like some other girl flirting all over him either. I think you have a thing for him too, and you are hoping he has a thing for you. Everything you described that he did was nothing past friendly-flirting, not romantic, "I like you" flirting. So keep it friends. He has a girl. Enough said. Best of luck.
~Sherah
PS:) I'm sorry that I seem rude, but I'm just offering advice and sometimes I can be a bit blunt with it. I'm not trying to offend you. I was just trying to show you the other side of each incident in which you thought he was flirting with you. I understand that you were questionable about whether or not he was really flirting with you, so that is why I tried to explain what he might be thinking when he does these things. I didn't intend to offend you. If I did then I'm sorry. Best of luck again.
How will I made a messy bun so it stays in place?
It slips out like everytime (If a move fast, in minutes..or immid if I run)
Sometimes it end up being a ponytail! Haha!
What am I doing wrong!? :S U have any of those problems sometimes? then tell me =)
Well mostly when you make a messy bun, do you use hair spray or gel beforehand? Well if you don't then there lies your problem. And do not make a bun if your hair is wet or damp. When it is wet or damp, the hair tends to stick together and stay up. But once it dries, the hair seperates and start to fall down. So to make a successful messy bun, you need to first out a medium hold gel lightly through your hair. Try Ganier Fructis Hair Gel. Here's a picture of what it looks like. It is sold at Walmart and drugstores and isn't all that expensive.
http://www.tribute.ca/teen/summer2003/images/beauty/garnier.jpg
Next, you want to blow dry your hair. The gel will make the hair feel soft, but also make it easy to manage and frizz free. Blow dry it until it is still a little damp on top and on the ends. Next use a Scrunch Spray to create a "messy" wave look to your hair. Start at the front and spray about 6 inches away all around your hair. Next scrunch with your fingers or use a diffuser to create a beach curl look to your hair. Use Aussie Scrunch Spray, Meduim Hold. Here's a picture of those products. It is sold at Walmart too.
http://www.aussie.com/images/products/st_sprunch.gif
After that, pull your hair into a loose bun, and bobby pin hairs that are prone to falling down. Your hair should stay all day, not to mention smell amazing :) Hope I helped. The end result should look something like these.
http://i.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/style/org/articles/hair_you/0905bun.jpg
http://secret-obsessions.net/clothes/celeb/leila17.jpg
Me and my boyfriend are going through really hard times right now. He keeps telling me how he's too busy to talk or too tired to even figure things out. And I feel like I've just been the one to deal with his bad moods lately. Last night I was explaining to him how hurt I was about the fact that I was crying and all he could talk about was how tired he was about it. He just said that he just can't deal with all of this, so I told him that he doesn't have to deal with me anymore and we hung up. I'm always the one to come back to him after a fight. So, this time I'm letting him make the move. He's called twice tonight and I didn't answer because I just think he needs more room.
So my questions are: If he really cares about me, will he still keep calling to prove that he does want this to work?
How will I know that he really does want this to work?
Should I give him time? because I really don't want to be hurt anymore by the fact that he doesn't want to talk lately.
I need some advice, I will rate to let you know what I think
Well I've been through the same thing with my bf. Whenever a guy says they are too tired to talk, or just can't handle any of this anymore, they are wanting space. And it is best to let them have it. Let him be the one to call. The fact that he is calling should tell you he really does care about you. So the next time he calls answer it and talk with him. Now obviously you are the one always confronting him with the problems in the relationship. So flip that around. Talk to him about things that happened today, ask him how his day was, regular kind of things. Let HIM be the one to bring up the issues you guys are going through. If he never does then try a different way of talking to him about it. In person. Over the phone, it is easy to make excuses not to talk about it, and it frustrates both of you when you are pushing and he is pulling back. When you talk in person he can't just say he is tired of talking about it and hang up. He HAS to talk to you, face to face. It is very hard to read someone's emotions over the phone, but in person, you can tell how they really are feeling without them even saying a word. Now when you guys talk in person, do not make a fight out of it. Be calm and collected, even if he isn't and starts to get offended. You say you are always the one feeling bad after a fight. So basically you feel like you take all the blame for the fights you both go through. Well it takes two to fight, so it is never just your fault. So this time let him be the one to be totally wrong. Don't raise your voice or say anything offensive. Talk to him about it calmly. If he gets angry, but you continue acting calm, he will lighten up, because he is the only one getting offended. Just give him and you some time to cool off. The more pressure you guys put on eachother when you are fighting, the worse the fights and your relationship will be. Hope I helped. Need anymore advice feel free to note my inbox. Good luck!
~Sherah
im 13/f
my 2 best friends are like obsessed with their boyfriends. im single and they think that i dont know what its like to have a boyfriend. i do. lately they have been ditching me for their boyfriends and yeah i understand and all but they think they are in love and everything. yeah and i am jealos and it kinda makes me mad that even when they tell me that i come first they never act like it. i know when they break up there boyfriend they are gonna need me and illbe there for them, but they are just gonna ignore me again. i know i should talk to them about it but how?
thankss in advance xo
This happened to me and I have also done this. My last bf I was with I was in love with, and I wanted to spend every second I could with him. We hung out ever single day and talked on the phone all the time. But whenever my friends wanted to hang out I always said I was busy, or I promised my bf I would hang out with him today, or invite them to hang out with me with him. Sometimes I would even say I would have a girls day with my sister and best friend, and then we would all go shopping, and conviently he would show up and we would split off, leaving my single friend and sister to hang out with eachother. See the problem was that I didn't want to blow off my bf to see my friends, even if it was for one day. And I didn't want to blow my friends off either. SO I was stuck in an awkward position. Another reason I had an issue with being away from my bf was b/c we always saw eachother and I liked that, and I thought that if I didn't hang out with him one day, that he would hang out with one of his friends, which made me nervous sometimes because some of his friends steal stuff and are reckless. But I soon got over that idea and started realizing that every relationship needs space for you two to be apart. Me and my bf are going to be apart for 10 days and it hurts me to know he is going to be 1000 miles away, but I learn to adjust and realize it is not healthy to be hanging out with my bf 24/7. I need to be able to balance it. You should tell your friends this. Let them know you understand why they hang out with their boyfriends alot, and that you always be there for them no matter what happens with them and the guys they are dating. But also let them know, that if you are going to be there for them, that they should also in turn, be there for you. You guys have best friends for a while, and that shouldn't change no matter what. Tell them that you want to hang out once in a while like old times, just all of you. Let them know that you understand about the whole bf thing, and that you would probably be the same way, but that even you would try to make time for your friends. Tell them that friends will always be there, guys will not. The friend of mine that was single when I pulled that, is now in a relationship. And she always blows me off to hang out with him. Now her opinion has changed and she understands how hard it really is. But now I realize how it feels to get blown off by your friends. It is not that they aren't your friends, it is that they are becoming too involved with themselves, and that is never good. Just let them know how you feel and hopefully they will understand and try to be there for you. If things don't change, focus on other things, and stop asking to hang out with them if they continue blowing you off.When they need a shoulder to cry on they will come running to you about it and you will be there for them, like a good friend. Of course you might feel used, and mis-treated, but it is alot easier to understand when you've been there and done that. The only thing you can do is talk to them about it. But do not fight with them about it. Never make them choose between a guy and a friend. Just be a good friend, even if they aren't being a good friend right now. Maybe someday the table will turn and they will be in your position and will see how it feels. Good luck hun, and if you need anymore help note my inbox back. Sorry this response was so long lol.
~Sherah
14/f okay so i have this friend and she likes my boyfriend&&shes really really pretty she als0o has down syndrome... but not very severly any ways shes like my best friend and im so jealous of her and im afraid that my boy friend likes her i dont wwant to be mean to her because of her problem... shes also really popular ok once she was like yahh if he was here right now i would so make out with him i was like wtf thats my bf... should i drop her as a friend or should i dump my boyfriend or WHATT!?!?!?!
sincerely---confused
Well listen, she obviously is not a good friend at all. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you really care about him and that your "friend" keeps making you feel insecure about the two of you. Ask him if there is anything going on between them. And ASK nicely, do NOT accuse him. There is nothing worse than making the guy you care about mad, because you are accusing him of being untrustworthy and a cheater. So tread carefully. And after you talk to him, and if he tells you there is nothing going on and that he wants to be with you, the next step is to go to her and have a chat. Tell her that if she really is a friend, then she wouldn't be hitting on your boyfriend and saying she wants to make out with him. Let her know that you think she has alot of nerve acting like she is your friend, and then going around trying to be with your boyfriend. Tell her that he wants to be with you, and you care about him, and you would rather have an amazing boyfriend, then keep a friendship with a girl who only cares about herself. Also let her know, that if she had some girl trying to be her friend and get with her boyfriend, she would probably be really pissed too. After that, don't talk to her anymore. Don't be overly hostile. Be direct and straight-forward with your feelings. Now be careful of this girl. Since you guys are no longer "friends", she might find even more ways to try to sabotage your relationship. Watch her carefully, because she seems very manipulative. And do not be surprised if she tries to make a big deal out of you not wanting to be friends with her. She might try to tear you down, by getting people to feel sorry for her. That is why I said to not be too hostile. Best of luck, and if you need anymore advice, just note my inbox.
~Sherah
Hi, my name is Vanessa. I am 26 years old. My husband and I met in May 2003. only 4 months after having met, I fell pregnant with my little boy. In the early stages of pregnancy, I bled everytime after sex. This put me off sex for the rest of my pregnancy and my partner Jason had to either satisfy himeself or I would have to do an 'obligatory' act to satisfy him. I had absolutley no sexual drive whilst I was pregnant and everytime my partner tried, I rejected him or satisfied him begrudingly. I convinced myself that it was the pregnancy and theat after the birth of the baby, everything would go back to normal.
After my son was born in June 2005, it went from bad to worse. The first time we had sex was on our wedding night 7 months after the birth of our son. Since then (January 06) I have found excuses and ways of avoiding sex. Everytime I do have sex I find myself crying and wishing that it would be over. My husband (like many men I would suppose) is very sexual and now sits up late looking at pornography on the internet.
I feel as though I can not please him and I really don't want to. My son is now 9 months old and the idea of sex still makes me feel a little sick. I have never really been a very sexual person but I used to enjoy it a little bit. Now everytime I cry, feel uncomfortable and wish it were over!!
Is this normal??? Can I get any help?? Is it sex or my husband that I do not want?? Should I suggest my husband get sexual gratification from other woman. I would do anything to take the pressure off of me!
The scary thing is... I really want another baby!!!
Sorry if this is a bit long :) Can you offer any advice?
Thanks so much for your time. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Best wishes
Vanessa :)
Well hun, you most likely are having postpartum depression and it is effecting your love life dramatically. What I suggest you do is go to a gynocologist and have them make sure everything is alright with you. Next step would be to go to a doctor and ask them if there is any possible ways to help control and stop this depression. Most likely they will suggest you go to a counselor that specializes in this. I think a sex therapist would be smart. You may be lacking libido, the hormone women secrete when they are sexually active. Just talk to your doctor. Things will get better in time. Best of luck.
~Sherah
Ok, so me and this guy were going out, and I mean everything seemed pretty good. We both loved each other, or at least I thought he loved me. But then we broke up, because he said that it felt weird, and that our love felt like we shouldnt be together now, but in the future. And he told me that he was raelly messed up in the head about this whole thing, as was I. So we broke up, and we hadnt talked for a few days, then I find out he already has a g/f and he's already had relationships with her before. So, I've been having a difficlut time letting go of him, because I really do love him, and I want him. But EVERYTHING, and I mean everything reminds me of him. And so its sorta difficult to let go, when everything reminds me of him. So what do you guys think I should do? Because right now, I am real confused about if I should let go, or just wait for him? And what are some good ways to let go of him? Like how am I supposed to do it, cus I've tried alot of ways, maybe I'm trying to let go to fast...Thanks for any help, I'll rate 5's for all answers.
13/f
Alright hun, if there is anyone who has been through it all when it comes to love it is me. I've had a similiar thing happen, and it is the worst thing in the world. My bf of 8 months dumped me the day after prom because "things were hard between us" and he "needed time to think and focus on school". I cried my eyes out for days on end, and couldn't stop thinking about him. I knew he had dumped me for another girl. I wasn't stupid. And I was right. The very next day, he started dating one of his friends sisters. That hurt me so much, not to mention he talked shit about me after that, saying all these things that never happened to make me look bad, and to make him feel better about breaking up with me, since he knew that he really had no real good reason for doing what he did to me in the first place. Well after two weeks he cried to get me back. I tried getting over him and I thought I was, but when he came back, I took him back, because I loved him so much. It has been hard at times, but my advice to you, is steer clear of this guy. He dumped you for another girl. He might have tried to come up with other reasons why he dumped you, but in reality it was for this other girl. I think two things might've happened. I think he really liked you but maybe he was still in love with this other girl. I think that is true, since they have been together in the past. I think you might have been a rebound girl. That is the worst thing in the world, because you feel used and you feel like he never even cared about you. But I think he did. I believe this girl came back in his life, and begged to be back with him. He remembered how they used to be and got back with her, not even considering you and him, and the feelings you guys have for eachother. It is best for you to move on. Always, ALWAYS remember that all pain heals with time. Never forget that. You love him now, but sooner or later someone new and better will come along and you will realize why all this happened. Love is good and bad, and you learn from it. Never wish you and him were never together, because everything happens for a reason. It is totally true. For right now focus on things you didn't get to do while you guys were together. And definently hang out with friends that will take up your time and make you feel better. A friend that will be there when you need to talk, but will also be there to take your mind off of it, and party with you, go to the movies with you, and give you the opportunity to hang out with new, fun people. Your single now, so don't be so upset. You can do anything you want with no bf holding you back! It's not that bad. Sometimes it will hurt seeing other people's relationships and wishing you still had him, but no relationship is perfect and remember that. Know that he will someday regret what he did to you and realize he really loved you, even though he is choosing to forget that right now. Don't be there for him to come crying back to you. He has done his damage so do yours! Show him that he hasn't broken you. Start trying new, exciting things. Do you like to dance? Try taking dance classes, or yoga. Like to swim and tan? Go swimming or tanning alot and improve your self esteem. Go shopping. New things and a new look will make you feel alot better, because you are starting over new. So why not rejuvinate yourself with a new, hot look. You will feel better, and it will boost your confidence making you appear and feel happy, exciting, and outgoing, which will draw people to want to get to know you. So when that guy finally looks at you and thinks, "Damn, what was I thinking?" you can smile at him and think, "Yea, I don't need you. You were fun when we were together, but I am so much better without you. Thanks for the good times though. Have fun with your new girl." Now the only one feeling sad and depressed now won't be you. Hope I helped. If you need anymore advice note my inbox. Good luck hun, and keep your chin. Everything gets better in time.
~Sherah
14/f Sry it's so long. So there's this boy and he asked me out like 2 weeks ago I said yes. We've gone bowling a few times with friends and we hang out whenever we can. He comes to my play pratices and whatever he can whenever he can and vice versa. We put our arms around each other and cuddle and stuff but when ever any one asks either of us wheather it's offical or not we say no. The problem is my friends are giving me grief about this. They're like if your not offical then you shouldn't let him hold you and if your not offical and he decides to like some one else he could drop you and you'd get hurt and have no argument. The truth is idc about this and I know he won't just drop me. Does any body know how I can explain this to my friends nicely and does he have to like ask me to be his gf for it to be offical or does time make offical? I rate. Thanx
Well I've been there and done that so trust me, I can help. My boyfriend of 7 months I just broke up with because I can't get over some of the things he has put me through. It was not that I don't forgive him, it is because I have trouble trusting someone after they hurt me. (He broke up with me prom night for another girl and flaunted in my face for two weeks straight and then came crying back to me.) I took him back and things were going great, but whenever he would talk about friends from school that were girls I would get accusatory and suspicious and we just started fighting real bad again. I didn't feel happy so I told him that maybe we should take another break. It has been about a month and a half now and now we are talking again. We are unofficial right now, because the whole friends and family thing. (They don't really approve of him and all that because they don't trust him and they believe he will hurt me again.) So basically we do everything we used to do when we were dating, and he knows that if he talks to any other girls or visa-versa, that I will not talk to him again. It just is more of a relief knowing that we aren't "officially" together. I think it actually makes it easier for me to trust him, because I feel like there isn't that big of a commitment, so there is less of a chance of getting let down and get hurt. So just tell your friends this: You like him and you care about him, and obviously he likes you too. You guys might not be "officially" dating, but it basically is like you are. There might be a chance he could just drop you for another girl, but in reality, that could happen if you guys were officially together too. Look what happened to me. And trust me, it would hurt either way, but it hurts way worse when you guys are both officially dating, and he betrays you like that. So tell them, that you guys are just taking it slow and that right now, being unofficial is perfectly fine with you and him. If he hurts you, he hurts you. You'll get over it. You are only 14. And there is plenty of more guys out there. Just tell them, that you know they are worried about you getting hurt, but you care about him and he cares about you, and that is all that matters, and you don't mind not being totally official just yet. They should accept it, if their real friends, and support your desicion. And about whether or not you guys really are official just yet, I'd say no. I only consider two people dating officially when they are asked out and it is completely clear that you two are exclusive bf and gf. If you just let it take time to become exclusive and then one day, "Oh... yea... it's been one month now... so we must be actually dating officially right?" it gets incredibly confusing. How do you know when is the right time for both of you, if you don't talk about it. Maybe he might not be dating you exclusively right now because he is too nervous to ask. Or maybe it is because he really doesn't want a real serious relationship just yet. Whatever the reason is, I think you should talk to him about it. That way it doesn't get confusing and frustrating. I think if you want to actually go out and date him officially then just ask him,"So, are we actually bf and gf? I was just wondering." Make it casual so he doesn't feel like he is being pressured or put on the spot about this. Trust me, straight out talking about it is the best way. I've been in a situation where I was unsure if me and a guy were dating. It was recently. I just got out of that 7 month relationship and I was single and this guy I met kept calling me his gf. I called him out on it after a week of hanging out and he said he didn't know what we were, and he didn't want to call us friends, or friends-with-benefits, so he'd rather call me that. I was fine with it, until I found out from his friends that he told them we were dating, and that we broke up the night before. I was like, "Dude, that is funny. How can two people break up if they weren't even dating?" lol. I didn't consider us dating because we never talked about it and he didn't ask me out. So I had no clue where he got that from! Basically what I'm trying to say is, talk about it. Ask him what he thinks. And that conversation could lead to him actually asking you out. If he ends up not wanting to be exclusive just yet. Don't get offended. Dismiss the conversation and act like it never happened, because there is nothing worse then a relationship getting awkward because of a conversation like that. SO if he isn't wanting to really date right now, let him know that that is fine with you, and then ask him if he wants to hang out sometime that week or something like that, to show him that you don't mind him not wanting to date right now, and that things between you and him don't have to change because of that. This is your and his relationship, not your friends, so don't let them pressure you into badgering him about it. If you are happy with it, then they should be too. They have gotten their point clear about how they feel about this so now it is your turn. Tell them how you feel and let them know they should be happy with your desicion. Best of luck hun. If you need anymore advice, note my inbox.
~Sherah
PS) Sorry my answer was so long lol.
hey my name is frances i am 19 yrs old recently i broke up with my boyfriend and i am doing pretty good. he is 23, we have been together for 2 1/2 yrs. i decided that i wanted to get a tattoo to symbolize my realtionship becuase he was my first love. but i am not sure what to get. i dont want anything like his name. no way but something like. love will prevail, or growth or strength or something that i can ge tattooed in japanese or chinese. let me know what would be a good idea.
Well I agree with everyone below, but if you are wanting that tattoo to hold that memory of him, than I would suggest getting a tattoo of maybe a heart with a thorny rose vine wrapped around it with the japenese symbol of Strength or maybe that catch phrase "Love Will Prevail" written around it. Or maybe a heart that is bleeding and broken, with light shining behind it and angel wings coming out of it, showing that even with a broken heart, it will heal and there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Something like that maybe. I already have one tattoo. It is on my lower back of a tribal heart. I got it because I want to remember that no matter how many heart breaks I go through, that I can always recover and love again. To be alive you need to be able to love, and love continueously, no matter what ups-and-downs life throws you. Next year I'm getting another tattoo I designed myself that has praying hands holding a cross necklace and angel wings coming out from the sides of the hands, with celtic writing circling it saying, "Only God Can Judge Me". That is going to remind me not to care what others think of me, because right now I am going through a hard point in my life, where people are judging me without getting to really know me, and that tattoo will really help me. Best of luck!
~Sherah
I don't attract guys at all. It's been said that I'm a lesbian (which I'm not), and I have an extremely brutal (but with purpose...I don't just say "Fuck the world" for no reason and think it's funny) sense of humor and wear all black. Are these turn-offs? But I'm a nice person. Though I can be a little morbid, I'm generally pretty friendly, I consider others' feelings, and I try to make friends, but nobody at my school wants to be around me. It's inevitable someone will say "Marian, I REALLY wanna sit next to Joe Shmoe. Can you move over?" at least twice a day. I just hate that. Whenever we have to choose partners/teams in gym, I'm always the last person. I feel so lonely, I cry sometimes in the locker room when nobody is around. There's only 1 friend of mine that's a guy who actually appreciates me for who I am, and I now have such a huge crush on him. I don't want to sound conceited at all, but I think I'm a nice-looking person, so that eliminates the idea that guys might not like me because of my looks. Does anyone understand? How can I make more friends? Even though he doesn't like me back in the same way, should I tell this boy I like him, and if so, how?
Well hun, it has nothing to do with you per-say. This is school. People are assholes and judge people by the clothes they wear. I'm guessing you are pretty shy when it comes to stuff at school and since you wear all black, it kind of makes people think that you are anti-social, a rebel, someone who wants to be left alone... all of which are stupid ideas people come up with to stereotype people. High school is nothing but cliques and trust me, don't get worked up about it. I think your confidence could be the issue. Instead of putting these people in the equation, figure yourself out first. Figure out who you are. Find out your likes and dislikes. Get your style. Once you become comfortable with yourself and who you are, the more outgoing you will be and the more happy you will be. When you are confident with who you are, the more people will be attracted to getting to know you. It takes time. And right now just focus on making friends and finding out who you are and your comfort zone. When I was in middle school I did not fit in at all. All my life I had been excluded. My only friend was my twin sister. We clung to eachother to get by with all the criticism and cruelty in school. Many times I came home and cried because no one talked to me. Me and my sister were always the last people picked for games in the gym. Our classmates talked behind our back and made fun of us. We were known as odd and weird. But I ignored it and eventually toughened up. I learned not to care what people thought of me. They don't know me and I don't know them, so why should I care? Exactly. If they aren't willing to get to know you, then they aren't worth your time. Cliques are so over-rated. The "cool" people are really not cool at all. They just give in to what others do, and really don't know who they are. Don't get caught up in all this drama. You don't need to deal with this. You will make friends, just give it time. Things will be better soon. Just don't worry about what others think of you. You are who you are, and that is all that matters. If others don't except that then they aren't worth your time. Good luck and if you ever need any more advice about this or anything else or just need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to note my inbox.
~Sherah
Everytime my boyfriend (who i have been with for 1 and a half years) gets a boner, his penis is bent, like a banana. If i try to have foreplay with him, this makes it difficult and i want to laugh. Im not sure what to do. It makes intercourse unsexy and turns me off. He just doesnt give me the pleasure i need. Does anyone know what to do? im thinking of breaking up with him because i need to laugh everytime he gets horny. Please get back to me as soon as possible!
Well if the sex isn't right then maybe you should consider talking about it before breaking up with him. Breaking up with someone because they can't satisfy you is not the right way to go. If you really care about him and the relationship is good, then maybe you should focus on fixing the problem, instead of totally dismissing it. He has a curved penis, and this has been a problem for many girls. They have problems finding the right position that works best for the both of them. I suggest looking on the internet for websites that will show you which positions are best for you. and next time you get down and dirty, turn the lights off and experiment with these new ideas. Laughing would probably not be the best thing to do, so maybe turning off the lights so you don't have to see it will be better. But sooner or later you are going to have to see it, so honestly, if looking at his penis makes you laugh, then maybe you might be a little immature. All I'm saying is, everybody is different and so our their bodies. You would probably be very offensive if a guy took off your bra, looked at your boobs and started laughing his ass off saying something like, "Holy shit! Your nipples are HUGE! HAHA" So be considerate of his feelings. Hope I helped.
~Sherah
im 14/f my bf is 17. he is always talking about how he wants to marry me and how much he loves me. i love him. i know you will think im to young. im not to young to know love. alright. so he got me this necklace for christmas that has a heart on it that on the front our names are ingraved and on the back it says "7 or 8 more years..." theres a story behind it...but its about me and him getting married in 7 or 8 years. then for valentines day he got me a ring. he wants to get married in 4 or 5 years now.... and he calls me his wife. like when he intorduces me to his friends he callse me his wife. and even to his mom he says hes going to see his wife and stuff. and whenever i see a baby i want one of my own.... is that normal? to want to have his kid? me and him have never had sex or anything. were really jsut good kids in love. so is that bad/wrong/weird/normal?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have his kid. It is not weird at all. My last bf I loved to death and still love. To make a long story short, we aren't together right now, but we still love eachother, it was just too hard being together. And he called me his wife to his family and friends and everyone. He wanted to marry me and told me how amazing are kids would be. And when I saw babies I pictured how cute our kids would be. But I never, EVER thought about actually trying to get pregnant at my age and actually have his kid. And I am 17 and he is 18 and we are both juniors in high school. The thing is, we both are young and we both have big lives ahead of us. We both know we wouldn't be able to handle having to raise a family at this point in time. Kids may seem cute and all, but they really put your whole life and future on hold, and can really jeopardize an amazing relationship. You guys obviously love eachother and want to be together. And if he wants to really marry you, then in a couple of years you will see how that plan works out. You are only 14 and he is 17, and priorities change in years. You guys are both young and have plenty of life ahead of you. so don't stress the love you both have for eachother by the possibility of a kid. It could really break a relationship, despite how strong it really is. Just focus on the love you have for eachother and being with eachother. If you guys really stay together all the upcoming years, then when you are around 18 or 19 and out of highschool, that would probably be the best time to think about having kids. Not right now. Like I've said before, you are young, and you never know what is going to happen in the future. And the whole sex thing... that should wait too. Until you are a little older for sure. Having sex might not be a big deal to some people, but everytime you have sex, keep in mind how you would feel if you got pregnant. It might seem like a walk in the park, but if you have known anyone who was your age that got pregnant, their life story is very long and sad. These years you should be having a good time, growing up and just being young. Babies and all that good stuff comes later. You seem like a very mature girl who knows what she wants in life. Just never compromise that. Love is unpredictable, so you never know if the relationship you are in will last. That is part of the fun of it. So just don't make your relationship that serious that quick. It is better to take things slow. Best of luck! Need anymore advice just note my inbox. (Sorry the reply was so long lol)
~Sherah
I have a question on MSN i removed the newer version of msn off my computer and then i thought it was all said and done and then someone said hey to me on the older version of msn and I can't find the icon or toolbar for MSN anywhere on my computer. Its not on the add or remove programs list either. Has anyone else had this problem or can someone help me please?
Yes I've had that problem with MSN too. It was really weird. I had removed the whole program and someone still messaged me and I wasn't even online and didn't even think the program was even on my computer anymore. Whenever you download a program, sometimes extra information and documents of these programs are saved in different areas on your computer, so you might have to manually search for these and delete them, which can be kind of hard. What I think happened is that you deleted the newer version of MSN messenger and the older one is still lurking somewhere in your computer. If I were you I would take it to Best Buy or a reliable computer place, and have them delete it, unless you know someone who is real computer savvy, because I tried to manually delete some programs and I ended up unintentionally deleting really important information to another program. It ended up screwing up alot of programs when all I wanted to do was get rid of one program in the first place. So just take it somewhere or ask around and see if someone can look at it. Best of luck. Need anymore advice note me back. Let me know what happens, because I haven't figured out really why that happened to my computer either.
~Sherah
ok! so i was goingout with this guy that i like LOVED and then he cheated on me and we broke up. He begged me to go back out with him and i said yes, i love him so much and he was being really sweet and stuff. its long distance and i love him but i want to get with other guys... what do i do?!
Well I've been there and let me tell you, it is hard. Now the whole long distance thing? I've tried it and it doesn't work out great. But the whole cheating thing... I've had major problems with that too in my relationships. My last bf cheated on me prom night and then flaunted the girl in my face for two weeks before he came crawling on his knees trying to get me back. I loved him so much that I took him back. And I can't say that was a bad thing, but I couldn't seem to trust him after what he did to me, and it hurt my feelings so bad that he had no reason what so ever to do what he did to me. So I broke it off. If I were you I would try seeing if friends is better for you guys. If you guys are meant to be together you will be sooner or later. Time heals all pain and it is the best solution to anything. Just be patient and think things through. If you want to get with other guys, then put him on hold and try that. You will never know if there is someone else out there if you stay with him. Just give it a chance. Good luck and if you need anymore advice feel free to note my inbox.
~Sherah
hey last year i was a size kids 12 in bathing suits. i usually go up a size every year. so that means this year i will be a size kids 14. i am interesting in these two bathing suits. but they are juniors not kids. i am wondering if i get a size xsmall if it will fit a size kids 14 girl. i rate 5s to all answers. by the way 13/f. here are the sites. http://www.kohls.com/products/product_page_multiple2.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=286072859&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=17674123&bmUID=1140310999571 and http://www.kohls.com/products/product_page_multiple2.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=286072859&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=17674123&bmUID=1140310999571 ♥
Well I read through this question and the way your replied to other people's question and bathing suits do shrink. God... pardon my language... but you are a complete dumbass! Okay, listen and listen good. The word "dur" and "duh" is the dumbest form of jargon ever made up and no one uses it anymore. (Oh, and in case you don't know what jargon is, it is a form of slang, since you seem to be grammatically impaired) Only little kids, which is obvious that you are since you still wear kids clothes, use words like that. And about the bathing suit, call me crazy but most people actually try it on instead of asking random people online if they think it will fit on you. Only you can actually try on an outfit and see if it fits your body right. Next time try asking a question with more substance. Thanks!
(And rate me low all you want because I don't care. Your question was the second worst question I've ever read on here. The first being: "Can you get pregnant from kissing?" I really wonder if people can really be that dumb. And of course people like you come along and prove it)
PSS:) In response to your very hilarious feedback, I have to say that I wasn't treating you like you are five. But if you act like a five year old, then that is not my fault. And given that you are only 13, your life basically involves, internet, guys, and school. Wow... what an amazing hard life you got there! lmao... Well I'm 17 and I drive, I'm preparing for college, I have a job, and I reply to questions I feel are worth getting intelligent advice. Once in a while I will actually answer a dumb question. And that just happened to be yours. Don't get so offensive "honey". It's advice. If you don't like then get over it. "luv ya! kiss kiss"
I've been working at a job for 5 months now. The job is okay, the people are nice, but I'm only making minimum wage. It would be nice to work somewhere part time and make 20 dollars an hour. Right now I work 25 hours a week and make 8 dollars an hour. Sometimes the job is strenuous, with a lot of lifting, unpacking, and pulling pallet jacks. I work in retail in the shoe and underwear department.
What kind of job could I apply for that I could make more money at? The skills have are: customer service, till training, stocking shelves, pricing, setting up displays, operating pallet jacks, and good work ethic.
Well I would probably apply somewhere where you can get tips. Also, try applying places that you know are needing workers with experience. Look around your area, make lists of places you are interested in, and then call those places up, go to them and talk to the managers. Find out if they need workers, ask about their pay, and tell them you are interested. If you have already graduated high school and are in college or graduated college, you have a pretty good chance of getting a higher paying job. I wouldn't set my sights too high though, like trying to get a specific job paying 20 dollars an hour. Fields like that require experience in specific fields, not general ones like customer service, box handling and stock shelving. I work at a pizza place, and I do everything from folding boxes, stocking shelves, stocking drinks out front, cleaning, closing the store, till, customer service, working ovens, making pizzas, and answering phones and I only make $5.50 an hour. (Oh... and minimum wage is $5.15) If I were you, I'd focus on trying to find a better paying job, but not aiming so high at the whole 20 dollars an hour idea. Keep the job you have, until a better job is in your reach because 8 dollars an hour isn't all that bad. Also if job searching is not helping, try talking to your manager into letting you work longer hours, seeing that you only work 25 hours a week. If you worked 30 to 40 hours the pay weekly would definently not be all that bad. Best of luck!
~Sherah
I'm a junior at a high school with an 11th grade population of 900. I have alot of friends, I'm on the drill team, I know just about everyone. Ever since I started high school I've always had people making things up about me. People I didn't even know.
Things like how big of a slut I am (even though I've only been to 2nd base guys because I'm waiting till marriage), that I'm anorexic (even though I'm 5'4 and weight 115 lbs. -- doesn't sound anorexic to me), that I've done sexual things with other girls (even though almost everyone knows I'm just about a homophobe), and alot of other stupid stuff like that.
All that stuff almost ruined freshman year for me. Then I decided not to care. If whoever is saying those things about me just has nothing better to do with their life then so be it; all I started to do was deny them. I know what's true, my friends know what's true, and so does everyone that actually meets me first.
So I never really gave a shit about any of that. But there's this guy now that I really like and he's the first guy I've really liked in a long time that isn't just because he's hott or other things like that (why I usually go out with guys). Everything was going fine between us, we've been on 4 dates, including Valentines Day. Until today that is.
He called me before 1st period this morning and asked me if I knew a girl named Leann. I said yeah and asked him why. He told me that they were talking about "stuff" and that he had to go. I called him back and told him not to BS me but he still wouldn't tell me what she said.
So later that day I went up to this girl (whom I'm barely an acquaintance to by the way) and asked her what she said to the guy. She looked absolutely shocked when I asked her and said that it was nothing, he wasn't supposed to say anything and that I needed to mind my own business (I'm sorry--I didn't know people talking about me was none of my business). I felt like punching her face in and telling her to grown up but I just walked away.
He hasn't talked to me since our phone conversation and avoided me all at school today. I texted him and told him that if whatever he heard about me changed the way he felt towards me and didn't even bother to ask me about it before he believed it then maybe he isn't the guy I thought he was.
So now I'm not sure what to do. I never thought that these stupid rumors would mess up my guy life. I should make this girls life a living hell (because I totally can) but I won't. What am I supposed to do here??
A guy that listens to what others say to make judgements about you is really NOT worth your time. Forget him. He might seem like anice guy, but if he really was then he wouldn't be taking some rumors about you seriously without talking to you about it. He is hiding something and is acting shady and you do not need to deal with that shit. And that girl. I can tell you this. She is probably saying stuff about you because she likes him. So forget them both. Who wants to date a guy that won't even talk out problems and listens to what others say. Basically he has no balls what so ever, and has no mind of his own. It's hard to forget about someone and let go of someone you have cared about but sometimes it is for the best. Trust me, I've been there. At my school, where my Junior class is only 80 people, everyone know EVERYONE. And rumors are horrible. I have been called a slut and whore ever since 7th grade, and before that I was called a "goody-2-shoe" because my parents were really strict and I never cussed. (Ironic don't you think?) I used to let the rumors control my life and upset me. But that's the worst thing to do. I've had people say I've had sex with guys at the school that I've never even talked to! I've had girls say I'm bulimic and that I stuff my bra! (I'm 5'1 and only a size B cup!) Its total bullshit but the worst thing to do is let it get to you. Just shrug your shoulders and forget what people say. It's just gay high school drama, nothing more, and people that really care about getting to know you will not just listen to rumors about you adn call them fact. You know who you are and that is all that counts. Surround yourself with the people you know care about you and don't get caught up in the highschool drama. And don't worry about that guy. He will realize what he missed sooner or later. You have already told him you don't think he was who you thought he was, and you have already approached the girl, so the next move is theirs, not yours. Now is the time to lay low and act like you don't give a fuck. lol. You can do better and you know it. So be strong and remember you are only a Junior! You have so much life left ahead of you. So don't stress. You will know when the right guy comes. Until then, live life to the fullest and enjoy it. Drama is over-rated. I hope I helped and if you need any advice what-so-ever then note my inbox. I will be happy to help you :)
~Sherah
19/Male...I finally got up the nerve to talk to this girl in a lunch line. She seemed decent and smiled at me while we talked and introduced ourselves. But it was very short (maybe 2 minutes). I didn't get her number or anything but I see her everyday, and I still want to pursue her. It's hard to me to think of what to say and I really want to avoid that awkward silence that sometime happens. Any advice?
Well you have already done the first step. You have already approached her and introduced yourself. Next step is getting her number and keeping the conversation interesting. Next time you see her relax and walk over to her. Say something like, "Hey (name). How have you been?" Let her talk a little bit, and then you comment on how you have been. Then ask her questions like what courses she is taking, which one is the hardest, stuff like that. From there continuing talking to her and really show her that you are interested in getting to know her better. after you guys chat a while, tell her you had fun talking with her and then ask her if she would like to hang out sometime if that is alright. If she says yes, then casually ask for her number and then give her yours too, that way it seems less up front. The rest is up to you from there. Probably wait a day or so to call and then continuing getting to know her. It seems like she likes you, based on the fact that she smiled at you when you guys met and wasn't nervous to introduce herself. Just remember that girls are just as nervous to talk to guys and get to know them as you are. So sometimes taking the initiative is a good thing. Just don't worry about rejection. Just be yourself and be confident. I know awkward silences are the worst, but everyone has that happen. Like I said before, keep asking questions, but again, keep it casual. You want to sound liek you are wanting to talk with her and get to know her, not like you are interviewing her for a newspaper article. I'm sure you will do fine. Just don't stress. Good luck! If you need anymore advice note my inbox. I'll be happy to help.
~Sherah