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How will I know?
Me and my boyfriend are going through really hard times right now. He keeps telling me how he's too busy to talk or too tired to even figure things out. And I feel like I've just been the one to deal with his bad moods lately. Last night I was explaining to him how hurt I was about the fact that I was crying and all he could talk about was how tired he was about it. He just said that he just can't deal with all of this, so I told him that he doesn't have to deal with me anymore and we hung up. I'm always the one to come back to him after a fight. So, this time I'm letting him make the move. He's called twice tonight and I didn't answer because I just think he needs more room.
So my questions are: If he really cares about me, will he still keep calling to prove that he does want this to work?
How will I know that he really does want this to work?
Should I give him time? because I really don't want to be hurt anymore by the fact that he doesn't want to talk lately.
I need some advice, I will rate to let you know what I think
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to hell wit u gurl
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If you really want to be with him, don't ignore him for too long. Guys can only handle so much at one time.... when you are sad or hurt you want to share that with him because he cares about you. Just keep in mind that guys only want to hear this stuff once. Girls can talk the stuff out from every angle for days. Talk to your girlfriends on the really heavy stuff and try and leave him out of it. He does care, but doesn't want to go over and over it. Good luck :)
ps. I've been told I tend to harp on things... now I say it once, clearly and then bite my tongue. Us girls can't help it! we love to cover every single aspect and possibility of a problem. You're doing just fine!
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In my personal opinion, i would say that this guy should come over to cheer you up-not just call you, that could get annoying. it would also be nice if he brought something special with him for you-that would show how much he really cares.
Or, maybe he really is tired a lot lately and he could take some time off of work or whatever and yins could take a day just to relax and have fun, and talk about the way things have been going lately. Maybe he will apologize and come back to you.
But remember, if he really does care about you, he will not just give up and not call you or come to see you, he will do whatever he can so that you can forgive him and start over again.
hope it works:)
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Well I've been through the same thing with my bf. Whenever a guy says they are too tired to talk, or just can't handle any of this anymore, they are wanting space. And it is best to let them have it. Let him be the one to call. The fact that he is calling should tell you he really does care about you. So the next time he calls answer it and talk with him. Now obviously you are the one always confronting him with the problems in the relationship. So flip that around. Talk to him about things that happened today, ask him how his day was, regular kind of things. Let HIM be the one to bring up the issues you guys are going through. If he never does then try a different way of talking to him about it. In person. Over the phone, it is easy to make excuses not to talk about it, and it frustrates both of you when you are pushing and he is pulling back. When you talk in person he can't just say he is tired of talking about it and hang up. He HAS to talk to you, face to face. It is very hard to read someone's emotions over the phone, but in person, you can tell how they really are feeling without them even saying a word. Now when you guys talk in person, do not make a fight out of it. Be calm and collected, even if he isn't and starts to get offended. You say you are always the one feeling bad after a fight. So basically you feel like you take all the blame for the fights you both go through. Well it takes two to fight, so it is never just your fault. So this time let him be the one to be totally wrong. Don't raise your voice or say anything offensive. Talk to him about it calmly. If he gets angry, but you continue acting calm, he will lighten up, because he is the only one getting offended. Just give him and you some time to cool off. The more pressure you guys put on eachother when you are fighting, the worse the fights and your relationship will be. Hope I helped. Need anymore advice feel free to note my inbox. Good luck!
~Sherah
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hey your boyfriend doesnt seem like a very caring guy...i agree with tammy...pulling away was a good thing to do...to see if he really cares about you....answer his calls.... if he says he's sorry and he wants to sort things out then thats defintly a good sign but if he still isnt in a good mood.. give him some time... or if your really that sick of it... dump him
anyways hope i was a help
geetarist
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You did the right thing by pulling away, and he is doing just what would be expected by now being afraid he's going to lose you and calling you back. However, the first thing guys try to do to win you back is to "use nice words and charm". This approach works with many girls and lets the guy off easy. If you're really going to make him work for it watch his actions not his words, and yes if he does care about you he will take action, either in the form of flowers and gifts or in altering his past actions to show you he's changed. If he doesn't do this he wasn't invested that much in the relationshi9p or didn't care enough. However, truthfully, if you feel he's a lost cause say goodbye and find someone who will respect you and treat you right. Good luck!
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